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He left me while I was at work after 7 and a half years...[UPDATED]


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Oh Sweetie.....this is awful what happened to you !!! He is truly messed up if he didn't have the decency to "man up" and tell you if he wasn't happy in the relationship.

If I have to guess, he didn't feel like a man with you, since you are more accomplished than him. You tried to convince him to get another job for many reasons, he never did. He couldn't afford spoiling you ever (if he wanted to). This is another inadequacy for him .

In the meantime he might have had an eye for someone else at work, maybe ? Since he distanced himself...These are my assumptions, they might not be true. I am so sorry that you have to go through this !!!

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LostinNC, i'm so glad to see that you're doing better, and NO, this ISN'T your fault. I was with my guy for almost 8 years. We had a terrible argument and we haven't spoken since- that was 7 months ago. Not a word. His son died last year and he was depressed. No meds, no therapy, no nothing. "He didn't need any of that." Too many stressors and it's been crickets since.

 

Keep your head up - it gets better.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Hi! It has been a few weeks since I have posted on my thread. Christmas came and went and I still haven't heard from him. His sister in law sent me just 2 lines at Christmas. "Thinking of you. heart. Merry Christmas. heart"

 

So I sent her back and IM and said thank you and that is you see him could you let him know he left a few things of his mom's, military medals and his military flag. If he wants me to mail them then he will have to call me. Thank you and Merry Christmas.

 

So not a peep until tonight I got a text from his sister asking me to mail the stuff to an address.

 

His sister??? He couldn't call me himself??

 

I told her no not until he contacts me.

 

I know that the things are his because he had them before we got together but I am under no obligation to mail them. I will mail out of courtesy if he calls and tells me what happened. Otherwise he can drive himself back from MN 1200 miles to get the stuff after he makes arrangements to be on my property because I own the house.

 

Is that being too mean?

 

Thanks!

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No, it's not mean. Mean is breaking up with someone by disappearing one day and never contacting the person again. As far as I'm concerned, after 6 months, his stuff can go in the trash if he hasn't made an effort to get it. That's his responsibly if he wants it badly enough.

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Personally I would just mail it and move on. There is no real reason for him to contact you. His sister wants you to mail it so go ahead. Not trying to be harsh but it is what it is.

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I am sorry.

 

I think you should not have mentioned his things to his sister. He knows what he left, and if he wants them he can bloody well do what is needed to secure them. At this point, it looks like you are manipulating him into contacting you in order to get his things. I TOTALLY understand why you would insist on him calling you himself, but I think it is just opening yourself up to more heartbreak.

 

I know I will get flack for this, but I would just throw them out. He has abandoned them, and you are under no obligation to keep them secure. I don't give a fig what they are.

 

:)

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