losangelena Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Okay and you are right we don't want her jumping to conclusions, what we want her to do is be realistic and utilize common sense in determining why a man (a lawyer no less) would not have the wherewithal to plug his phone into a charger for five minutes to charge it up.... and call/text her back. I am sorry but attempting to justify this BS along with this "wait and see" attitude gets women no where, but a broken heart 99.9% of the time. I also think it's okay to come to a conclusion when the evidence is so obvious, there is no other explanation BUT to come to that conclusion. Also, I think you're giving folks in the legal too much credit, lol.
losangelena Posted October 2, 2015 Posted October 2, 2015 Assuming that's true, could not he call/text her from his other phone, the one that didn't die? Helloooo.. My bf calls/texts me from his business phone sometimes when his personal phone died and he's out at a job.... (he's a contractor) Also, I went back and re-read the entire thread. I didn't see where she said he invited her for the whole weekend - LL said he invited her out for tonight - to an event. Gurl, I told you it was in her other thread —> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/549940-i-m-scared-i-m-going-screw-up-9.html#post6573003 Also, maybe he doesn't have her number on his other phone—they've gone out 8 times, not for years.
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Also, I think you're giving folks in the legal too much credit, lol. I am giving them (him) credit for having a brain and utilizing it... enough to know to charge your damn phone when it dies - before 24 hours goes by ...so you can contact the woman you're dating after she just opened up to you about how she feels about you (and your kisses). If you think that is too much credit, so be it. I don't and plus I am in the legal profession.... lawyers are, for the post part, quite bright.
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I am giving them (him) credit for having a brain and utilizing it... enough to know to charge your damn phone when it dies - before 24 hours goes by ...so you can contact the woman you're dating after she just opened up to you about how she feels about you (and your kisses). If you think that is too much credit, so be it. I don't and plus I am in the legal profession.... lawyers are, for the post part, quite bright. Katie, I'm JOKING, hence the LOL at the end ...
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Katie, I'm JOKING, hence the LOL at the end ... I know you are hun.... and thank you for trying to lighten this convo up a bit. You just have NO IDEA how much I hate ANY type of deceit (even something as minor as this) so this thread kinda got to me... probably more than it should have... Long story.... goes back to my dad... But hey it's Friday! Off to happy hour in a few.... So cheers everyone! And to LL, enjoy your weekend!! Update us on Monday -- we'll be waiting! LOL
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Happy hour for me, too! Cheers, girl! FWIW, I do agree with you about a lot of this and understand that it comes from a deep-seated place. For me, I tend to give a pass on the electronic communication. What she said MAY have made him uncomfortable, or he didn't know how to respond honestly and/or tactfully, but doesn't he have a right to be uncomfortable? I mean, just because one complimentary text is not returned in kind doesn't mean the whole relationship is doomed. Maybe his phone died and by the time he charged it, he forgot to text her back—who knows! We certainly don't know the full extent of it. I for one am very curious to hear how all this goes, and regardless of this one guy, I'm hoping that OP will start to enjoy the dating process a bit more.
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Happy hour for me, too! Cheers, girl! FWIW, I do agree with you about a lot of this and understand that it comes from a deep-seated place. For me, I tend to give a pass on the electronic communication. What she said MAY have made him uncomfortable, or he didn't know how to respond honestly and/or tactfully, but doesn't he have a right to be uncomfortable? I mean, just because one complimentary text is not returned in kind doesn't mean the whole relationship is doomed. Maybe his phone died and by the time he charged it, he forgot to text her back—who knows! We certainly don't know the full extent of it. I for one am very curious to hear how all this goes, and regardless of this one guy, I'm hoping that OP will start to enjoy the dating process a bit more. Yes he has every right to be uncomfortable - NOT faulting him for that. For me this was all about his phone dying excuse which I personally thought was BS. But hey maybe it wasn't! We'll never really know anyway, so we will all (including LL) have to accept that he might have lied ... but then again he might not have. Just one of those mysteries in life we will never get closure on...lol Have fun at your HH!
joseb Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Just in regard to the phone dying. My iphone5 died a few weeks ago. As in stopped charging completely. I had a couple of numbers on there that i didnt have anywhere else, basicially anyone i met in last couple of months. There is probably a woman bad mouthing me for ghosting because she stubbornly never contacted me. Now if he does have 2 phones, its unlikely he would have personal numbers on his work one. Having said all that, i agree the excuse seems made up, unless the phone died before he got her text. And even then, he should have addressed the text when he got back to her. So yeah i think its likely the text made him a bit uncomfortable. Maybe he isnt that into her. On the other hand, there is no way i would go on 7 dates with someone without sleeping with them if i wasnt. (Hell that would be stretching things even if i really was!) OP did he mention what you said in any way??? 1
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) Gurl, I told you it was in her other thread —> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/549940-i-m-scared-i-m-going-screw-up-9.html#post6573003 Also, maybe he doesn't have her number on his other phone—they've gone out 8 times, not for years. I don't think she means they are spending the weekend together as we understand it. I think they have several events and will be spending a lot of time together that's why she says they are basically spending the weekend together. I don't think they will spend over-night together. Edited October 3, 2015 by Gaeta
JasmineJones Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Where is the OP now? Has she gone out on the date with him?
Celeste.Carol Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 24 hours, no call, and the reason was that phone died. You are a better woman than me...I would have told him, well yeah, my interest just died with your Smart phone. How bizarre is that? Bye. 1
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 - Has he done this before? Yes, but only a couple of times in the two months we’ve been dating, It's not his first offense. We women do too much of this. We let it slide once, twice, 3 times. We think we are helping the relationship by appearing cool but we're not. This man has now learn that he can make her wait for him and she'll be right there waiting for him when he gets back. 3
Buddhist Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Wow. I can’t believe I broke the #1 rule: never let a guy know that you actually like him. And here's the #0 rule: If innocuous things you say and do are going to materially change the outcome, you are dating the wrong guy anyway. Men who are into you, want you, like you and will commit to you will not run because you call them handsome. If you have to play some elaborate ego-game to trick a guy into committing to you what does that tell you about the relationship? 4
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's not his first offense. We women do too much of this. We let it slide once, twice, 3 times. We think we are helping the relationship by appearing cool but we're not. This man has now learn that he can make her wait for him and she'll be right there waiting for him when he gets back. Oh man, I can't seem to stay away from this thread! lol But yeah G, LL said he's done it twice previous to this time, in the two months they've dated. But in that two months, they've only had 7 dates, so twice (now thrice) is a lot for only having had 7 dates..... jmo as always....but red flag waving there. And hey Celeste ...gotta chuckle from your smart phone comment, so thanks ...needed that tonight.... :bunny:
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Good morning Lovelorn, just wondering, how did the date/event go last night? Will you be seeing him again tonight? Hope it went well and that you're feeling good about everything today. Pls update how you're doing when you can. 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 Good morning Lovelorn, just wondering, how did the date/event go last night? Will you be seeing him again tonight? Hope it went well and that you're feeling good about everything today. Pls update how you're doing when you can. Hi, katiegirl. First, I just want to express thanks to everyone who has chimed in on this thread. It really means a lot to me that you guys understand what I'm going through here. I feel like I'm not alone. About the phone thing - He only has one phone. When we were texting on Thursday, his phone must've died while he was at home. He was also hosting an event at his house (yes, I was invited, but couldn't make it), so I can see why he wouldn't have responded that night. He also goes to bed fairly early, and he's not the type to say goodnight every night. What was disturbing to me was the fact that it took him forever to respond the next day, but he did, eventually. Apparently, he was having a pretty rough day with a lot of travel, late meetings, etc. When he did respond, he didn't address the text but did ask me if I was still able to see him that night. About last night - Yeeeeeah. It's over. And I'm pretty torn up about it. I haven't been able to get out of bed all day. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what I could've done differently. The beginning of the night was great. We were having a great time, I thought. Laughing, kissing, great conversation, etc. ... until his dog bit me in the face and sent me to the emergency room. Blood everywhere. He was very helpful, very concerned, very caring. The damage isn't too bad - just a few stitches near my lip. My physical wounds are fine now, but the emotional ones... well, those are going to take a while. Again. Sigh. We were supposed to get together tonight. I told him I was still up for it, if he was. He said he wasn't. So, yeah. It's done. Sucks, because we actually did have a good time last night before the incident. I don't know. Maybe he was indeed losing interest, and the dog attack was just icing on the cake. He said it wasn't because of me, but come on. I've been through this WAY too many times. I know how this works, and it really, really sucks. Like, bad.
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 About last night - Yeeeeeah. It's over. And I'm pretty torn up about it. I haven't been able to get out of bed all day. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what I could've done differently. The beginning of the night was great. We were having a great time, I thought. Laughing, kissing, great conversation, etc. ... until his dog bit me in the face and sent me to the emergency room. Blood everywhere. He was very helpful, very concerned, very caring. The damage isn't too bad - just a few stitches near my lip. My physical wounds are fine now, but the emotional ones... well, those are going to take a while. Again. Sigh. We were supposed to get together tonight. I told him I was still up for it, if he was. He said he wasn't. So, yeah. It's done. Sucks, because we actually did have a good time last night before the incident. I don't know. Maybe he was indeed losing interest, and the dog attack was just icing on the cake. He said it wasn't because of me, but come on. I've been through this WAY too many times. I know how this works, and it really, really sucks. Like, bad. Wow, OP are you OK?? Jeez! I had no idea things were going to turn out this way! However, can you elaborate a little? Like, how did it go from having a good time, to getting bit in the face, to him deciding he didn't want to be with you? I'm really sorry! We also need more details! 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 Wow, OP are you OK?? Jeez! I had no idea things were going to turn out this way! However, can you elaborate a little? Like, how did it go from having a good time, to getting bit in the face, to him deciding he didn't want to be with you? I'm really sorry! We also need more details! Yes, I'm okay. Thanks for your concern, losangelena. Most of the cuts on my face are fine. They stopped bleeding after a while, so I just need to monitor them. The one near my lip keeps moving, so they had to stitch it up to stop the bleeding. I'll need to take some antibiotics to ensure it doesn't become infected, but I think it'll be okay. My guy was dog-sitting, so there were a lot of extra dogs in the house. I love dogs, and this one seemed friendly throughout the night, but I think I startled it when I went to pet it. He turned quickly and bit my face. As far as him not wanting to see me again - I don't know. He said last night was crazy and that it put him in a weird mood today. That's why he doesn't want to get together tonight. I know that's guy-speak for "I wasn't even really that into you anyway, so this serves as a good reason to slowly fade out." I told him I understood, but I can tell he knew that I knew what he meant. He told me it wasn't because of me and that I shouldn't read into what he was saying, but like I said earlier, I know better.
SomeDude16 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Yes, I'm okay. Thanks for your concern, losangelena. Most of the cuts on my face are fine. They stopped bleeding after a while, so I just need to monitor them. The one near my lip keeps moving, so they had to stitch it up to stop the bleeding. I'll need to take some antibiotics to ensure it doesn't become infected, but I think it'll be okay. My guy was dog-sitting, so there were a lot of extra dogs in the house. I love dogs, and this one seemed friendly throughout the night, but I think I startled it when I went to pet it. He turned quickly and bit my face. As far as him not wanting to see me again - I don't know. He said last night was crazy and that it put him in a weird mood today. That's why he doesn't want to get together tonight. I know that's guy-speak for "I wasn't even really that into you anyway, so this serves as a good reason to slowly fade out." I told him I understood, but I can tell he knew that I knew what he meant. He told me it wasn't because of me and that I shouldn't read into what he was saying, but like I said earlier, I know better. As a guy I'd guess that he is probably feeling more guilt/ bad about what happened and is embarrassed... Understandable given what happened, and out of your control. I say give it at least a week and reconnect and go from there. 1
katiegrl Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 As a guy I'd guess that he is probably feeling more guilt/ bad about what happened and is embarrassed... Understandable given what happened, and out of your control. I say give it at least a week and reconnect and go from there. First off wow I am so sorry!!! :( Glad to hear you are okay, physically anyway. Sheesh! Second, no do NOT attempt to reconnect with him, in a week, a month, ever. Guilty or not, if and when he wants to reconnect with you, HE knows where to find you. Ball is in his court. Again, I am so sorry ...... ((big virtual hug)) 3
Author Lovelorn00 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 As a guy I'd guess that he is probably feeling more guilt/ bad about what happened and is embarrassed... Understandable given what happened, and out of your control. I say give it at least a week and reconnect and go from there. Thanks, jab116. Yeah, he seemed incredibly upset by all of it. Very apologetic. He offered to help in any way that he could. Once I got over seeing all the blood, I was fine, but I could tell he was disturbed. All the color went from his face when it happened. He checked in with me this morning and apologized again. I'm just going to leave him alone for now. 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 First off wow I am so sorry!!! :( Glad to hear you are okay, physically anyway. Sheesh! Second, no do NOT attempt to reconnect with him, in a week, a month, ever. Guilty or not, if and when he wants to reconnect with you, HE knows where to find you. Ball is in his court. Again, I am so sorry ...... ((big virtual hug)) Thank you! Yes, I'm going to go ahead and assume it's over, which means I won't be reaching out to him.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 LL I'm so sorry ...I too was awaiting word of how it all went. It could be he's overwhelmed. Also ...being a lawyer he may be thinking lawsuit and being aloof. In any case ...hugs to you ((LL)) and know you did everything right that you possibly could. 2
Author Lovelorn00 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 LL I'm so sorry ...I too was awaiting word of how it all went. It could be he's overwhelmed. Also ...being a lawyer he may be thinking lawsuit and being aloof. In any case ...hugs to you ((LL)) and know you did everything right that you possibly could. Thanks, StocksnBlondes. Yeah, my girlfriend brought that up to me earlier. It hadn't even crossed my mind, but he might indeed be concerned that I might take legal action. That's not something I would do, though. However, she did point out that his particular breed of dog is illegal in this county (it's a wolf hybrid), so he might also be concerned that I might report it, which I wouldn't do either.
Jejangles Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Wow, I'm so sorry LoveLorn00! First about the dog bite, that is just crazy. Wolf hybrids can be super unpredictable. I love dogs but that would really upset me. I'm also really sorry it feels like it's over. I think your anxiety has been up because you could sense he was fading or lukewarm in interest. And if that was the case, the dog bite was probably just the push over the edge. Please know you did nothing wrong here, it just seems it wasn't meant to be. Take some time for yourself! 3
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