Threats to tell MM's wife- Riddle me this

[imperfectangel]

Such a myth that the BW doesn't take care of herself so he strays. I am very fit. He had a pot belly. His OW had two bellies. They stray because the are weak and they want to.

 

Sorry but lol at two bellies

[NewLeaf512]

Back to the original post

 

I threatened. He had everything ready to go, legal sin place, his parents knew and were supportive, on the appointed day, he " couldn't find a good time"

 

I went ape which is not how I act. I'm a doormat

.

I told him if he called texted email again I would tell BS unless he had a signed dissolution document in his hand I was exposing. Woke up to a million messages. He rang. I said I'm calling BS after work. Unbeknownst to me he got her face on and told her something G d knows what he says it told her. I've told her everything even about the divorce lawyer . He puts the phone down on me and I never from him again.

[Got it]

It isn't a question of 'telling'. What matters to children for the most part is emotional upheaval in the family. Most children know that something is wrong and that is what matters to them. Children are involved whether they know the cold hard facts or not.

 

And I can't say I always agree. I don't think I needed to know about my mom's affair. That it made any difference.

 

And in regards to my husband, he stands by not telling them of their mom's affair. He choose to shoulder the emotional impact on himself. Just like one can argue that they should be told, many will argue reasons why they shouldn't regardless of whether they know something is wrong or not. I see it similar to my father's decision to stay in an awful marriage and not divorce until the kids were adults. We have agreed to disagree. Each side has their argument and the other side isn't changing their mind.

[Got it]

I don't know I see where you are coming from, but in my case my kids benefitted from knowing. I was hospitalized 2 times during the duration of my WH's A. It was his lying, manipulating, gaslighting that pushed me over the edge. Not his A. It seemed everyone derived more pleasure from my pain than just ending the M or the A. My kids would have no idea why mommy went to the hospital, or mommy keeps crying, mommy is always upset now, mommy can't help us with the things we normally need and on and on. I needed serious help and no one was helping me. How do you explain your complete mental breakdown to your kids? That I just lost it?

 

Of course I would have liked for my kids to have never known. That would have been the ideal situation.

 

Okay, I was responding to your comment that kids should know as a consequence to the parent's actions. So I was giving two examples where they choose not to say anything. Maybe men are less likely to involve/tell the kids? Not sure.

 

I am not judging your situation or your decisions, I am just giving two counter examples/decisions. In your situation, you are absolutely correct, there was most likely no way you could have not told them something.