BlueIris Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I make pretty good money, and have been considered good looking by people and I haven't had a date in two years. There's obviously more to it than that. Move to Tempe. You live in Scottsdale and yet are disdainful of Scottsdalians. At least move downtown or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Move to Tempe. You live in Scottsdale and yet are disdainful of Scottsdalians. At least move downtown or something. Yeah, I live in (north) Scottsdale because I work in Scottsdale. I can drive anywhere in the Valley (right off the 101 and the 51) that I want to, and do on a regular basis. It's not an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Virtually every guy who sees the woman in the picture will notice that she is hot. She probably gets several guys reminding her of this every day and she’s tired of it. Heck, every guy she meets is interested in her looks! I finally took at look at her pic today and for want of a better way to put it her looks are a 10. She is one simply beautiful woman! This is more how to approach women than how to attract women. It can attract further too. My IRL relationships have come from a man coming to chat with me. Looks play a part but they end up being 20% the part if a guy can talk, be fun, be relaxed or even nervous in a nice way. : But, I spotted him first or I made eye contact. He got the cue from me that I was interested and that can happen in a second or two of seeing each other. If she's interested, she'll make the conversation easy. If she's not interested, she'll give short answers and keep looking down at her book or phone, or out the window. Then you just bid her a lovely day, smile, and move on. Yes, 100% However, you left out the most important part. Before doing any cold approaches, AT LEAST make a bit of flirty eye contact before hand, to pre-frame the situation. If I could give over 100% this would be it. The social cues are the MOST important thing and you need a cue before an approach most of the time. If you have been around a woman/man for a while (say 2-10 minutes if you know the meeting will be brief or an hour if eg you are at a party for the night) and you are getting no social cues of (sexual) interest (basically) then an approach is just never going to work at all. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 This is why Meetup is what kept me from approaching women cold turkey in a public place, be it a grocery store, coffee shop, book store, etc. Approaching a woman at a pre-scheduled event, i.e. - a BBQ, pool party, house party, etc., people there for the purpose of being approached. They are open to getting to know other people. They are not likely to even ignore you as everyone there is on a common ground. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 This is why Meetup is what kept me from approaching women cold turkey in a public place, be it a grocery store, coffee shop, book store, etc. Approaching a woman at a pre-scheduled event, i.e. - a BBQ, pool party, house party, etc., people there for the purpose of being approached. They are open to getting to know other people. They are not likely to even ignore you as everyone there is on a common ground. But no matter what you still need the cues. If you get no cues then don't approach. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Go to bar, throw enough money around and I'd hazard you will find a date quite easily. Ridiculous I know but my own cynical view is nothing attracts females more than success, being defined as money. Yeah, I don't think so. Part of amassing wealth is being smart with your money. That said, I often buy drinks for friends, and even rando bar acquaintances... and I always pay for dates. You gotta be in my fold first. My income is listed on profile. You want a free drink, you gotta go out with me. Like I said, it's been years since anyone's been interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 The most I notice about the girl is that it is a staged stock photo shot... she is doing and acting the way the photographer wants her to act... Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 ETA to my last post - but someone else posted...: and I only know this because I have deliberately given cues and also approached men giving me cues too. All has worked for me. It's also massively worked for when I should say nothing and walk away - massively! If you ignore that social cues exist you are only putting any approach down to luck/chance/moment and that isn't likely to work. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 But no matter what you still need the cues. If you get no cues then don't approach. Not in this case. I've actually approached and introduce myself to a woman without getting cues as she was occupied with watching pool volleyball. Sometimes they don't see you there at the moment. I do it all the time at the Meetups, cues aren't necessary at those events. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Not in this case. I've actually approached and introduce myself to a woman without getting cues as she was occupied with watching pool volleyball. Great! I had no idea you were in a relationship!! Good for you LATP!! : Awesome news! Why are you still going over OLD profiles though? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Great! I had no idea you were in a relationship!! Good for you LATP!! : Awesome news! Why are you still going over OLD profiles though? What made you think I was in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Mendalore Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 This is actually very interesting. I agree with OP and the opponents, to an extent. It really does all depend on the type of woman they wind up being. What it boils down to, though, is if she's not interested, just move on. No harm, no foul. If she takes to it, great. If not, whatever, move on. Throwing money around will get you girls, not women. To take a, perhaps, less offensive tone. Throwing money around won't get you the types of women you really want unless what you really want is truly a one night stand. In which case, you're in the wrong forum. I'm 31, on the softer side (still strong, just not ripped), and balding pretty severely. I'm the physical equivalent of a George Costanza only taller and with straight hair. I most recently dated an easy 9. I don't like to use the term "hot," but she was absolutely stunning. The reason I make this point is to ask a question. We actually split because I was TOO interested. She was initially attracted to me confidence and intelligence, but her attraction waned because I was too "into" her. When do you know you're reaching the point of being too curious and into the other person? I'm an extremely selfless person, but not to the point of being taken advantage of. (Ending sentences with prepositions hurts) That was actually perceived as a point of weakness, whereas I see compassion and understanding more as a point of strength. Lastly; cues are tough when they're nose-deep in a book! Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Man OP I just would not go for a girl that way, it just seems so pretentious. I am sure she'll carry on with the conversation to be polite, but unless you're actually someone that she finds sexually appealing, being polite is all she is doing. If that. Somewhere out there, no matter how ugly you think you are, there is a girl that will like you and find you attractive. Granted, she probably won't look like that girl, but you can't all be me. Be happy with your life ( don't whine to me...figure it out for your ****ing self), radiate that ****. Some girl is going to pick up on it and she will like you and there's your chance. How I would do it is, chances are pretty good she will notice me and like what she sees. I say "hi" and smile at her and wing it from there. Or I just get my 5 shot latte and leave. After adding in a bunch of sugar and stirring it all up. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Lastly; cues are tough when they're nose-deep in a book! No, you have the general shape or cast the shadow of what girls find attractive......they're gonna look up and check you out. Always. Unless they're really actually nose deep in a book. Most of them are never that nose deep in a book. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mendalore Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 No, you have the general shape or cast the shadow of what girls find attractive......they're gonna look up and check you out. Always. Unless they're really actually nose deep in a book. Most of them are never that nose deep in a book. At that point, though you're already walking up to her if you're that close. Meh, not going to worry with the particulars. I'm not one for cold-approaching anyway. If I do talk to someone out of the blue it's normally to make an editorial comment of some kind. Like, someone a customer is being a d-bag ("Can you believe people like that?"), they got your order wrong ("Does your drink taste right? I think they messed mine up."), or any other array of other things that don't involve freaking coffee. It never really amounts to anything, but it can generally be a nice social experience at the very least. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 What made you think I was in a relationship? You didn't write anything negative in the part of your post I quoted. It's not the norm for you to post something positive. It came across as positive. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 No, you have the general shape or cast the shadow of what girls find attractive......they're gonna look up and check you out. Always. Unless they're really actually nose deep in a book. Most of them are never that nose deep in a book. You're giving our secrets away!! Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 At that point, though you're already walking up to her if you're that close. Meh, not going to worry with the particulars. I'm not one for cold-approaching anyway. If I do talk to someone out of the blue it's normally to make an editorial comment of some kind. Like, someone a customer is being a d-bag ("Can you believe people like that?"), they got your order wrong ("Does your drink taste right? I think they messed mine up."), or any other array of other things that don't involve freaking coffee. It never really amounts to anything, but it can generally be a nice social experience at the very least. I'm just walking by at that point. Really, it's not a cold approach. A cold approach would be if the woman doesn't notice you at all and/or tries to ignore you if you try to make yourself noticed. They are totally oblivious to you or it's a pretty clear NO and some guys try anyway. That's a cold approach. I notice her noticing me. I flirt a little. The return from her is favorable. I say something simple to her and she warms up and seems to want to continue. I continue. This is not a cold approach. When you approach a girl that already finds you attractive and you can tell this is so......they want you to. Not a cold approach. I don't like those either and wouldn't do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 If her head is deep in the book she's reading, I won't even go near her. Nowadays if you try to approach, this is called harassment and could get you in serious trouble. The only way I approach her is if she takes a break from her book, looks around the room and somehow her eyes meet mine. If it's a positive, welcoming look with a quarter or half smile, I might approach her if I'm feeling confident or interested enough to engage her. Most women in cafes reading their books want to do just that and nothing else without interruption. Some women might welcome your advances if you have all the required specifics on her physical checklist. If you don't, you'll get stamped with the creep label from her and in addition perhaps a warning from the staff operating the cafe. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 If her head is deep in the book she's reading, I won't even go near her. Nowadays if you try to approach, this is called harassment and could get you in serious trouble. The only way I approach her is if she takes a break from her book, looks around the room and somehow her eyes meet mine. If it's a positive, welcoming look with a quarter or half smile, I might approach her if I'm feeling confident or interested enough to engage her. Most women in cafes reading their books want to do just that and nothing else without interruption. Some women might welcome your advances if you have all the required specifics on her physical checklist. If you don't, you'll get stamped with the creep label from her and in addition perhaps a warning from the staff operating the cafe. In college, the kind of books people read there were text books. There were a few large sized congregation areas where you'd see people study between classes or just studying in general. The computer lab, the commons area, the library. Usually I'd find a woman reading through a text book that was the same subject as I was taking for that semester and use that as an opener. "Chemistry? I have that this semester, too. Who's your teacher?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author popcornpuff Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Ha ha! I love the comments and debates that are going on in this topic. Seriously, I'm not even being sarcastic! I created a post which I thought was "good" and a whole bunch of other posters came in and added a lot of points that I failed to mention in the OP. And you know what? You guys are right! Some things I failed to mention and other people pointed out: The woman in the picture may or may not be interested in you, no matter who you are or what you say. If you want to pull off a successful approach, you don't want to approach her "cold" but should try to "warm" it up first with a little flirting or friendly eye contact. You also need to be GENUINE when talking to her, which means actually caring about what she has to say and being open to the possibility that she may not want anything to do with you. There's a lot of good info from other posters throughout this topic. For any men who are struggling to attract women, I urge you to read not only my OP but the deeply insightful replies that the other posters have left as well Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Good stuff. Now how do you keep their interest after that? How do you make them answer texts/calls? How do you avoid the fade away? I've had to where women approach me, it's all good then and there, even the next day, but then comes the fade away. *shrugs Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Good stuff. Now how do you keep their interest after that? How do you make them answer texts/calls? How do you avoid the fade away? I've had to where women approach me, it's all good then and there, even the next day, but then comes the fade away. *shrugs Women approach? That's very rare, lol Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 If her head is deep in the book she's reading, I won't even go near her. Nowadays if you try to approach, this is called harassment and could get you in serious trouble. Word!! :bunny: I HATE when a man tries to talk to me when I am reading or studying. I find it so intrusive!! Edited to add that the girl in the picture is NOT reading she is gazing off into space, she looks like she might burst into tears though so it might not be safe!! Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Good stuff. Now how do you keep their interest after that? How do you make them answer texts/calls? How do you avoid the fade away? I've had to where women approach me, it's all good then and there, even the next day, but then comes the fade away. *shrugs You don't make them do anything. You just have to be interesting. Don't be boring. Are you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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