BlueIris Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 On the other hand I am excited to see him Why? I mean that seriously. He told you he wants sex and was graphically sexual, so consider that if you go and are alone with him, you could find yourself in a dangerous situation. You don't even know this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LilaMarie Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 OP, do you mind sharing your age? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) I was initially interested to get to know him and see where it leads. I am not into one night stands or fbw. Anyways we didn't end up meeting up since something else came up on his end. However,I wont pursue this further. I'll just stay single, I cant have sex and not get attached Edited September 15, 2015 by Mizz Layta 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I cant have sex and not get attached Knowing that about yourself, it's interesting you were even consider meeting the guy when he made his intentions clear. But it looks like fate stepped in and prevented you from making a mistake. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
torturedartist Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I have been talking to this guy that I met last week. He gave me his number and I decided to text him to see what's up. We arranged to meet up today. I asked him what we are doing yesterday and he just said we will figure it out. Then he suggested we have a little fun when we meet. He started asking me what things I like doing. I didn't know what he was talking about so I asked him to be more specific. He then said sex and started explaining in graphic detail what he wants to do in bed. I told him that I want to meet and hangout for bit to see then see where the night leads us. He said ,sure its up to me. I am just not sure at this point, I was open to get to know each other first and it leads to sex then great, not just hook up I don't want to feel like piece of meat. On the other hand I am excited to see him should I cancel A guy who tells you that he wants to have sex with you? Now I don't mean to sound condescending to any prostitutes who might be reading, but pretty much the only person who'd be okay with that is a prostitute. Because otherwise, if you're not a prostitute, and you do actually have some kind of say in the matter (because you haven't been paid), you'd be like: "What's that bitch? You think you're calling the shots around here?" A guy who tells you he wants to have sex with you and expects you to be okay with it is first of all extremely un-smooth. I think he's more of a creep. And second of all, he's probably a little bit... what is it... I think it starts with an "s". sociopathic! He's a sociopathic creep. Just my two cents, but if I were you, I'd probably be for packing pepper spray. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Honestly if a guy wants to have sex on the first date then it's evident he doesn't like you but your body. If anything, I'd cancel on him and just do something else. Unless you're willing to sleep with him then that all falls on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) he is only creepy if she doesn't like him. this justifies my point! i dont think women get it especially here on LS. We do get it. We also understand that women are entitled to their preferences and if we aren't interested, then you're not getting a chance. Life ain't fair. Never was, never will be. You wouldn't give up that very same autonomy to be forced into a relationship with a woman you're not interested in just because she wanted to be with you and neither should any woman. As far as OP is concerned, dude creeped her out with this heavy sexual banter too soon. He isn't entitled to her sex and she isn't obliged to give it up to him just because he put it out there. Edited September 15, 2015 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 As far as OP is concerned, dude creeped her out with this heavy sexual banter too soon. He isn't entitled to her sex and she isn't obliged to give it up to him just because he put it out there. You are correct in that no-one is entitled to anything. But in this case he did NOT creep her out. She was wanting to see him and wanting to move forward with getting with him. If he creeper her out she would've canceled the date and deleted his contact info. And I think it is a safe assumption that they hooked up on their date. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I have been talking to this guy that I met last week. He gave me his number and I decided to text him to see what's up. We arranged to meet up today. I asked him what we are doing yesterday and he just said we will figure it out. Then he suggested we have a little fun when we meet. He started asking me what things I like doing. I didn't know what he was talking about so I asked him to be more specific. He then said sex and started explaining in graphic detail what he wants to do in bed. I told him that I want to meet and hangout for bit to see then see where the night leads us. He said ,sure its up to me. I am just not sure at this point, I was open to get to know each other first and it leads to sex then great, not just hook up I don't want to feel like piece of meat. On the other hand I am excited to see him should I cancel What do you want for yourself out of your dating journey overall? This guy is looking for hook ups. If you want a relationship with someone, don't start at the bottom of the barrel . . . don't hang out with someone who clearly doesn't have the same goal you do and hope he'll just see how amazing you are and rethink his plan. If you want a hook up, that's fine too. And, yeah, spend some time with him at least that night to see if you're comfortable enough to sleep with him. But, don't expect anything else with him. If you don't want to feel like a piece of meat, don't throw yourself on the grill. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 LOL why do you even put up with such a trashy douche. Unless you are looking for a hook up, I can't believe you are even thinking of meeting him. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Honestly if a guy wants to have sex on the first date then it's evident he doesn't like you but your body. In this particular case I'd agree. But...definitely not in general. What about all the happy long term couples that had sex on the first date? There is a woman on here who I'm friends with that had sex with her BF on the first date and they are still together/happy after FIVE YEARS. Now as I said here and earlier in the thread, in this particular case I find the guy's actions disturbing just like everyone else. But if the OP had a regular first date, there was tons of chemistry, and they couldn't fight their attraction, that is a different matter all together. I actually admire people who follow their passions and don't live by preconceived rules in a box. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 You are correct in that no-one is entitled to anything. But in this case he did NOT creep her out. She was wanting to see him and wanting to move forward with getting with him. If he creeper her out she would've canceled the date and deleted his contact info. And I think it is a safe assumption that they hooked up on their date. 1. She did not go on the date 2. Earlier posts asked if they had already had sex?? How could they have if this was going to be a FIRST date Any way someone tries to spin it, a man I have never met who I only started talking to last week begins describing to me what he wants to do in graphic detail on our FIRST meeting? Yeah, not a high class kinda guy there. Sorry. Sometimes the man really IS a douche and it isn't about what is wrong with the woman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I have been talking to this guy that I met last week. He gave me his number and I decided to text him to see what's up. We arranged to meet up today. I asked him what we are doing yesterday and he just said we will figure it out. Then he suggested we have a little fun when we meet. He started asking me what things I like doing. I didn't know what he was talking about so I asked him to be more specific. He then said sex and started explaining in graphic detail what he wants to do in bed. I told him that I want to meet and hangout for bit to see then see where the night leads us. He said ,sure its up to me. I am just not sure at this point, I was open to get to know each other first and it leads to sex then great, not just hook up I don't want to feel like piece of meat. On the other hand I am excited to see him should I cancel I haven't read the other replies. But I'd say just cancelling without explanation would be a bad move. Most women behave in ways that try to avoid conflict, and that's exactly what you seem to want to do here. But in this case, you need to be more upfront and assertive if things are going in a direction you don't want to go. If you want to wait a while before you have sex with him, then you need to verbally communicate that to this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 If he contacts me, I am going to tell him that I am not looking just hook.If he's intrested in getting to know each other and see were it leads ,then I'm open to that.I just don't want to meet up strictly for sex and see ya. Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 A guy who you just met him talking about sex is a sign he cares nothing about you other than putting another number to his total. Don't be fooled by him. He will probably tell you exactly what you want to hear - that's want these predators do. Once they get you alone even if you say no they will hound you and hound you until you say yes. Their number one goal is to get laid. If you have low self-esteem he will make you feel wanted and loved and all that good stuff. Don't fall for these feelings. He will bang you and leave and you will most likely end up feeling like a fooled cheap piece of meat. Walk away from this predator and don't look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 If he contacts me, I am going to tell him that I am not looking just hook.If he's intrested in getting to know each other and see were it leads ,then I'm open to that.I just don't want to meet up strictly for sex and see ya. No don't even tell him that. He is going to tell you exactly what you want to hear until he gets you in bed. He is going to be open to whatever you are open too. Don't open that door for him. Ignore him - don't even call him back. This guy is a player. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 If he contacts me, I am going to tell him if he's intrested in getting to know each other and see were it leads ,then I'm open to that.I just don't want to meet up strictly for sex and see ya. NEWSFLASH - He wants to meet up strictly for sex. That's why he said he wants to have sex w-you and went into such graphic detail. Also, it's a VERY BAD IDEA to tell him that you'd still be willing to meet if he's interested in getting to know you, etc.. You're essentially letting him know what you need to hear to get in your pants. What you need to do is base your opinion on his actions. He already showed you who he was. Since you know that you can't have sex w/o getting attached and want something more, you need to walk away and never talk to the guy again. Don't give him an opening to manipulate you with. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 In this particular case I'd agree. But...definitely not in general. What about all the happy long term couples that had sex on the first date? There is a woman on here who I'm friends with that had sex with her BF on the first date and they are still together/happy after FIVE YEARS. @ fitnessfan... And yes very true. My boyfriend and I had sex on first date (first night we met actually)...and that was because we felt a strong mutual chemistry and connection...that went WAYYYYY beyond merely the physical. I also note he did not use the type of graphic language with me that this bozo used on OP..... nor did he try to flatter me with flowery language, etc. just to "get me into bed." We felt a strong mutual connection and chemistry (again beyond the physical) and were excited to be in each other's presence, sharing stories, staring at each other...lol, moving closer, lots of touching... very genuine and natural..... NOT like this idiot...who clearly....CLEARLY simply wants a place to stick it. I am extremely sexual and open-minded, but like I said I would have hung up on him. Totally disrespectful, and well.... just gross. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 If he contacts me, I am going to tell him that I am not looking just hook.If he's intrested in getting to know each other and see were it leads ,then I'm open to that.I just don't want to meet up strictly for sex and see ya. This is fantasy thinking, denial. You now KNOW what he is like and you want to get into a power struggle over who is going to get their way. Don't do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 Now I'm thinking that he probably cancelled because I expressed the desire to hang out first. I just want to add that he offered to come over to my apartment at 11:00 pm the night before but I declined.I told him that i would rather just meet the next day and not have him come over to my place in the middle of night the first time. He said no problem we will meet the next day.We were supposed to meet up after 3:00 pm when he gets off work.I sent him a text earlier and said "hey" but he didn't respond. I didn't think anything out it other than him being busy at work. 3:00 rolls around and still no word from him.I sent him another text asking if we're still on to no avail. I just said screw it and made other plans.Then he sent a text at 6:00 pm saying sorry something came up At that point , it hit home , I just can't do it.I felt disapointed when he bailed on me.Screw that it's all or nothing Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 It depends on what you want but if you want a relationship I think it will be pretty hard to turn this into one because he's already started the 'relationship' with a ONS vibe. I've personally done what he's basically doing several times and I can tell you that I had zero interest in a relationship (with those specific girls at least). Really? is he at all creepy stalker type? if i told a girl i wa talking to or just met what he said she would stop talking to me and you would call me weird creepy. he is only creepy if she doesn't like him. this justifies my point! i dont think women get it especially here on LS. imagine if a guy said this to you jen I don't think that's what she meant. She meant if the guy was like a socially awkward, sleazy type with a deceptive appearance — that is what most girls mean by creep. I would have just hung up on him and then blocked him..... Yeah that's what you say but when it actually happens.... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) Yeah that's what you say but when it actually happens.... LOL.... apparently you don't know me very well do you.... Well, being that I've done it before, then you can rest assured I would have NO PROBLEM hanging up on a guy who said that type of crap to me before ever even meeting me.... paleeeeeze. If fact it would give me GREAT PLEASURE to hang up on a douchebag like that..... Then I would block him! Bam. Next. Edited September 15, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I just want to add that he offered to come over to my apartment at 11:00 pm the night before but I declined.I told him that i would rather just meet the next day and not have him come over to my place in the middle of night the first time. He said no problem we will meet the next day.We were supposed to meet up after 3:00 pm when he gets off work.I sent him a text earlier and said "hey" but he didn't respond. I didn't think anything out it other than him being busy at work. 3:00 rolls around and still no word from him.I sent him another text asking if we're still on to no avail. I just said screw it and made other plans.Then he sent a text at 6:00 pm saying sorry something came up At that point , it hit home , I just can't do it.I felt disapointed when he bailed on me.Screw that it's all or nothing This guy is OBVIOUSLY just looking for sex. First he tried for a late-night booty call. Then he flaked on your daytime "meet up", without bothering to make a different plan. And you keep texting him, which is giving him the message that you're overly interested and might be easy prey next time. I'd just block his number if I were you. You seem too susceptible to whatever "charms" he may have. All he wants with you is sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 I deleted number , I'm done with him 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 It depends on what you want but if you want a relationship I think it will be pretty hard to turn this into one because he's already started the 'relationship' with a ONS vibe. I've personally done what he's basically doing several times and I can tell you that I had zero interest in a relationship (with those specific girls at least). I don't think that's what she meant. She meant if the guy was like a socially awkward, sleazy type with a deceptive appearance — that is what most girls mean by creep. Yeah that's what you say but when it actually happens.... Since you've done this before , may I ask why you didn't want a relationship with those type girls? I always wonder why some guys would just want me for sex but then get into relationship with someone else.Its hard not to take it personally I had fwb years ago, I thought I could handle it.I ended up feeling used and resentful.Not to mention the guy got a gf few years later when I called it off.Its like "what does she have that I don't"Lol Link to post Share on other sites
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