RedRobin Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) Actually, what I am hearing from guys on LS is hypocritical talk about how the woman is supposed to possess virtuous qualities he doesn't have. Then there is the whole step it up talk, equating you to the boss...all the dick swinging talk. Sorry, in my world, you better walk the walk yourself if you even want to think about holding such standards. That's what i hear other women saying too. It really isn't asking much to expect the guy not be a liar and a hypocrite. Or is it? I guess so, because those two guys I said no to marrying were proposing some idiot lopsided arrangement like I should be giddy with delight that they were proposing. As if! Edited September 20, 2015 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Actually, what I am hearing from guys on LS is hypocritical talk about how the woman is supposed to possess virtuous qualities he doesn't have. Then there is the whole step it up talk, equating you to the boss...all the dick swinging talk. Sorry, in my world, you better walk the walk yourself if you even want to think about holding such standards. That's what i hear other women saying too. It really isn't asking much to expect the guy not be a liar and a hypocrite. Or is it? I guess so, because those two guys I said no to marrying were proposing some idiot lopsided arrangement like I should be giddy with delight that they were proposing. As if! I have never asked anything from a woman I wasn't willing to deliver myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) Enigma i think we are saying the same thing , I.e. If a guy didn't ask a woman to marry him after 3-4 years, enough time to know her, he either doesn't want to marry HER or doesn't want to marry at all. So if she wants that type of life and commitment she should just quietly move on. Nothing much to discuss and negotiate anymore. She should ask once if he wants to marry her or not and if not or indecisive just look for someone else to love and build a life with. The only difference in what you're saying and what I'm saying is that you imply that if she was "good enough" any guy would have married her, which is totally unrealistic and untrue. It's nt that men are always good and have high standards and women are bad and have to prove themselves. Yes, women should have standards themselves and those should include not begging and prodding anyone for a thing they don't want to give and not let themselves be treated less than they want andnless than great. That's what I'd do anyway . After 3 year I'd ask about it, if I made my own decision by then, that this man is good enough to see his face every day for life, and if he says he is on the same page ok, if not, I'll break it off, cry for how long I need to and go on to meet someone else. I would not allow anything less because it wouldn't work out and we'd break up eventually just after more time. Why he wouldnt want to marry me is not my problem. My problem is what I want and what I feel not what others want. I can only control myself. I conducted my dating this way. I dated about 30 men before getting in my current relationship . I observed what the men did, I reciprocated, I didn't sleep around/not until in a relationship (for 1 to 3 months) and if a man didn't make me his girlfriend and wasn't considtent with taking me out and advancing the relationship , no talking, I walked. Never asked myself whether I was good enough for the large number of men who didn't behave the way I expected and/or weren't that into me. I always knew that I'm awesome and if someone doesn't see that, his problem, not my problem, I am not responsible for others baggage or values. I always wanted to see if THEY were good enough for me, not if I was good enough for them. I even used to jokingly say to myself and others "I'm smart, I'm accomplished, I'm kind, I'm attractive, and if someone doesn't like me, they're stupid, and who wants to be with stupid?". Having said that, I walked out on several and it was a good thing because if I stayed, I wouldn't have met my wonderful boyfriend, the best of all of them and more and I wouldn't be so happy!! If 2 years from now I'll decide I want to marry the man I'm dating and he doesn't see that in our future, I'll go back to dating because it would mean we want different things. It would be excruciatingly hard, but since i've survived the break up of my long term marriage, I know that time heals wounds and it would be for the best. I wouldn't settle for half assed commitment. Better single and dating and giving myself another chance than frustrated and resentful in a relationship. Edited September 21, 2015 by BluEyeL 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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