JS84 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I hope this isn't real. This thread is vomit inducing:sick: I feel horrible for her husband. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I've never felt like this before. I've never been willing to.compromise my moral stance on fidelity. I don't know what is going on, but it's a feeling I can't ignore. I am generally a good person. It's interesting how one transgression seems to make me a HORRIBLE person. Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Ask for a photo of your guy and masturbate to it at home and fantasize about him when you make love to your husband. Or rent 50 Shades of Grey and you will see how tedious it all really is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I've never felt like this before. I've never been willing to.compromise my moral stance on fidelity. I don't know what is going on, but it's a feeling I can't ignore. I am generally a good person. It's interesting how one transgression seems to make me a HORRIBLE person. The thing is, this one transgression can change your life forever. It can destroy your marriage and your family unit. It could have long lasting effects if your spouse doesn't have the reaction you think he will. His trust is in you. You can take whatever risk you want sexually with your body but you have no right to impose that risk to his body. If he didn't believe in premarital sex, do you think he would really be able to accept this? Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 You know after all this hype, the sex is gonna be absolute shyte anyway. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I know that. It's a risk. It's a risk you take with any sexual relationship. With that attitude how can I or anyone trust our monogamous partner they are telling the truth about being STD free? If he says he hasn't had sex since his last test I choose to believe him at this point. I may have reason not to believe him later. Anything physical can't happen between us for at least 3 more months so he can do whatever he wants between now and then. The STD bugaboo is sth that can actually be handled well with proper vetting. Screening/panels are as good as it gets, but combine that with you own evaluation of them for best results. (I always have a frank STD chat and pay close attention not just to what they say but how they're saying it. If I get any strange vibe at all, I pass.) It's worked extremely well for me - never had an STD. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Ask for a photo of your guy and masturbate to it at home and fantasize about him when you make love to your husband. Or rent 50 Shades of Grey and you will see how tedious it all really is. I have requested and gotten a pic 50 shades isn't my thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 (I always have a frank STD chat and pay close attention not just to what they say but how they're saying it. If I get any strange vibe at all, I pass.) Based on the Text the OP was going to send, I don't think frank STD chats would be a strong suit. I think a big part of the issue here is maturity, and lack of perspective. A lot of people - happily married people - probably have impulses that go beyond their love for their partner. Wanting this badly to bang someone who touched your hand when you were teenagers goes beyond that. Thinking it will just be a quick one-and-done and all will be right with the world lacks even the smallest measure of foresight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Based on the Text the OP was going to send, I don't think frank STD chats would be a strong suit. I think a big part of the issue here is maturity, and lack of perspective. A lot of people - happily married people - probably have impulses that go beyond their love for their partner. Wanting this badly to bang someone who touched your hand when you were teenagers goes beyond that. Thinking it will just be a quick one-and-done and all will be right with the world lacks even the smallest measure of foresight. I'm all for frank STD chats. We had one already, but if this does end up closer to definitely hapoening I'm going to have another one. Your last point is valid. But I'm hoping a quick one and done will resolve some of this. It will at the very least help dispel some of the fantasy I've created in my mind by confronting me with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 But I'm hoping a quick one and done will resolve some of this. It will at the very least help dispel some of the fantasy I've created in my mind by confronting me with reality. Valid point, but as another poster alluded to: there's a chance the sex could be bad. At the very least it could be awkward. So then you've just created a bunch of potential problems within your M for crappy sex. You're just thinking of the "fantasy" of it all. Based on your posts, I can't tell if your H is on board with it or not. I'd probably be really sure he's cool with this one-timer before moving ahead with it. And even then, it's still a crap shoot. We all say we'd react a certain way....until it actually happens. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Nice! Now draw a hot bath, with bubbles. Get some scented oils and masterbate to your other guy. Think about what you and he will do... Think about his body against yours... Think about your husband divorcing you and telling everyone you know that you cheated. Think about the divorce proceedings and how everything will be divided. Think about your husband crying himself to sleep each night, asking WHY wasn't I enough for you??? Think about how you will feel about yourself AFTER the sex is done. Masterbate to the thought of your husband screwing someone else, because he will when the divorce is through. You THINK you can do this and not get caught. There are just too many ways to GET caught. Sex is a short term gain. Marriage is a lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I do not have words to describe how sad this truly is. For the H to even hear this from his W or soon to be WW and her willingness to pay the price to simply be rubbed by some one beside her H is beyond words!! I so hope there is an awakening and a real case of remorse for the family!!! Please OP reconsider all of the things being said here and "act like a committed wife" or set your H free. This all too sad! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 OP, am I correct in saying that you haven't actually seen this man in a long time? Your physical "craving" is based solely on FB photos, correct? Link to post Share on other sites
Celestial-dreamer Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 The only thing the OP wants is the OM. Nothing is going to change her mind. OP is asking for ways to entice OM in to her bed. This thread is a joke. Your saying one discretion doesn't make you a bad person....sorry to tell you OP but this isn't ONE discretion, your having an online affair already. The texts/calls/dirty pics etc. ALL of that is kept secret from your H. Your selfishness will be the destruction of your family that you say you love. If you love them as much as you say you do, you wouldn't do a damn thing that could hurt them or ruin their stability. Good spouses don't put their genitals above their kids. As for OM, his almost complete lack of interest is very telling. Anyone who would be interested would have made it work already, also telling you he can't see you until new year? LOL. He won't come near you because he doesn't want to cause an issue with your marriage? Another LOL. The guys a serial cheater, he has no morals. He's trying to get rid of you more like. As for his STD test....he can tell you anything, no sex etc....how can you be sure? Enough said. I feel sorry for your husband I really do. All your interested in is yourself. You say for once *can I be selfish?* Answer is...NO. Your married now, you have a family, selfishness doesn't come into it anymore. You sound like a kid in the sweet shop being told they can't have a bit of candy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Just so you get the whole story... When Jesus made that "he who is without sin cast the first stone.." That wasn't the end. He told the woman "Go, and SIN NO MORE." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 You are very wrong about OM. He is upfront and told me the truth about his vacation schedule. He is a small business partner who can't just close up shop for a cross country booty call. That's not unbelievable nor particularly unusual. As for his interest, he is very interested. He told me so. But he is bribg guarded for the exact reasons y'all are stating. Marriage, dusyance, uncertainties about reality when face to face versus our online interaction. We can talk on the phone for hours, but in person msy be different for him. His back peddling is a sign of self preservation not playing or lying. Everyone does that. I think you are being much to harsh on him. My goal is to make him comfortable enough to let me visit so he isn't second guessing himself. Link to post Share on other sites
World's.Edge Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Ten pages, seriously. Why is anyone bothering with this nonsense? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I am sorry but what sort of wife and mother are you, that you can spend literally hours talking on the phone to your OM? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Ten pages' date=' seriously. Why is anyone bothering with this nonsense?[/quote'] Apparently a MW openly pursuing a purely sexual relationship with a single man is bothering them. I know the pretense is because it goes against societal expectations of fidelity and marital dynamics but I also suspect it bothers some that a woman is being upfront and honest about her motivations about sex without excusing it under the guise of being in love with another man or in a crappy marriage. I love my marriage, am in love with my husband, yet still am considering a sexual affair. It is unfathomable, and the unfathomable scares people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maymaymay Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I am sorry but what sort of wife and mother are you, that you can spend literally hours talking on the phone to your OM? I'm a stay at home mom with insomnia. I have tons of free time. I wish I didn't have insomnia, I like sleeping Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Apparently a MW openly pursuing a purely sexual relationship with a single man is bothering them. I know the pretense is because it goes against societal expectations of fidelity and marital dynamics but I also suspect it bothers some that a woman is being upfront and honest about her motivations about sex without excusing it under the guise of being in love with another man or in a crappy marriage. I love my marriage, am in love with my husband, yet still am considering a sexual affair. It is unfathomable, and the unfathomable scares people. No...the immoral and selfish disgusts people. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Well then just go and bloody do it already. All this time wasted here you could have fked him seven ways til' Sunday by now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MadJackBird Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'm a stay at home mom with insomnia. I have tons of free time. I wish I didn't have insomnia, I like sleeping Maybe go to the doctor to get something to help with that. Sleep is important. Based on what you are saying you are already committing emotional adultery with OM. Does your husband know you are currently committing emotional adultery? That you are spending hours talking and texting this guy? Is he okay with that? You say you love your husband? How can you love someone when you are in active emotional adultery with someone else? Unless he is okay with it in some sort of agreed on open marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 It is unfathomable, and the unfathomable scares people. Not unfathomable, just goes against the very vows you took. What's worse is as another poster previously stated, should something go south in your marriage, your husband is probably on the hook for you anyway. Just because of the "unfathomable". If you didn't care about "societal expectations", you wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. I have no problem with women expressing this desires, it's just that I am 100% positive that you would have a problem if you found out your husband already did this to you. Of course, you won't admit that, after everything you've posted here. Your thread doesn't cause "fear" in me nor does it scare me. For a quick second, it was disgust, now, it's just pity... for your husband. He gets to pay for your mistakes and your sins. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Apparently a MW openly pursuing a purely sexual relationship with a single man is bothering them. I know the pretense is because it goes against societal expectations of fidelity and marital dynamics but I also suspect it bothers some that a woman is being upfront and honest about her motivations about sex without excusing it under the guise of being in love with another man or in a crappy marriage. I love my marriage, am in love with my husband, yet still am considering a sexual affair. It is unfathomable, and the unfathomable scares people. Oh get off your high horse already! What bothers us is the fact that you are sneaky, dishonest and deceitful about the whole thing. You are certainly not 'openly pursuing' this guy. Yeah, you may have mentioned your 'lustful feelings' to your husband but I very much doubt you sat the man down and told him straight. Did you tell him everything, from the sexting to the naked pic exchange, the late-night, hours long phone calls to actually planning to meet this guy for sex as soon as he gives you the green light? Thought not. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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