RoseVille Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thank you!!!!! :bunny: And no I did not go digging, however my intuition and perception about this situation, based on the facts presented in this thread ...was right on apparently. Which saddens me actually, because it means the OP got hurt, which I never like to see. I am sorry, RachyB, toss this one back. You deserve better. Next. How so, "apparently"? I don't see an update from the OP that even suggests you're right. You have been debating other posters and coming to conclusions without any additional info from the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 How so, "apparently"? I don't see an update from the OP that even suggests you're right. You have been debating other posters and coming to conclusions without any additional info from the OP. Did you read her previous thread? But you are right .. we don't know for sure. Which is precisely why I said "apparently." Don't know for sure if my perception is correct. But based on her previous thread, it all points to this guy was after sex, and now that it happened, he's gone....which was the basis of my entire argument. But you are are right, we don't know for sure. It would be nice if the OP came back and updated! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 OP, if you like this guy a lot, shoot him a text! Early dating is complicated and miscommunication happens easily, especially when one person travels a lot and it's hard to arrange the next date. I think it's weird he didn't respond to your text with his availability, but the only way you can know for sure where he stands is to reach out to him. This guy is setting off my internal antenna though, so I would move slowly and carefully with him... He is not acting like someone who is super interested at this point in time, so protect your heart as much as you can and move slowly until he shows he is worthy of your investment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trolloperative Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My guess is he did respond to her so we won't be hearing from her until next thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RachyB Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thing is, I have reached out to him before. He has gone cold on me (like not texted for ages) and so I have sent him a message first and he was like "oh I am really bad with technological communication don't hold it against me." I didn't hold it against him either. I think what I will do (because I do genuinely like him) is send a quick message today. I mean the worst that can happen is he does not respond or whatever and at least then I will know. What should I say though? Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thing is, I have reached out to him before. He has gone cold on me (like not texted for ages) and so I have sent him a message first and he was like "oh I am really bad with technological communication don't hold it against me." I didn't hold it against him either. I think what I will do (because I do genuinely like him) is send a quick message today. I mean the worst that can happen is he does not respond or whatever and at least then I will know. What should I say though? "Hey there! How was your week? Are you free [insert days next week you're free], would love to see you!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thing is, I have reached out to him before. He has gone cold on me (like not texted for ages) and so I have sent him a message first and he was like "oh I am really bad with technological communication don't hold it against me." I didn't hold it against him either. I think what I will do (because I do genuinely like him) is send a quick message today. I mean the worst that can happen is he does not respond or whatever and at least then I will know. What should I say though? You've seen him only a couple of times and he's treated you very poorly. Why exactly do you genuinely like him? Other than he's good looking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thing is, I have reached out to him before. He has gone cold on me (like not texted for ages) and so I have sent him a message first and he was like "oh I am really bad with technological communication don't hold it against me." I didn't hold it against him either. I think what I will do (because I do genuinely like him) is send a quick message today. I mean the worst that can happen is he does not respond or whatever and at least then I will know. What should I say though? That sounds like a warning so in the future he won't have to stay in touch, put much effort in. Then he can say he told you so. I think what you said to him original was fine (not the best but fine) and he probably took it that you don't NEED more regular communication. So now it's turning into a miscommunication or permission to be lazy. If he hasn't contacted other than first day after sex and it's been a week, if I were in your shoes I would wait to see what he does next. You can still like him from a distance, I guess. And see what he does next. I'd be evaluating how this makes you feel IF YOU STILL WANT TO SEE SOMEONE WHO DISAPPEARS ON YOU rather than working up a last ditch effort text. But like katie says you can do that and see how it turns out. "Because I genuinely like him" is usually first chapter of a big mistake. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Hello everyone! To cut a long story short, I have been very casually seeing a man who has been chasing me for awhile and last Friday night we slept together. It was amazing. We spent hours together just drinking and talking about life and he is wonderful in so many ways. Anyway, the following evening he sent me a text that read: "Hey hope you had an awesome day at work! Let me know when you are free next and we will do something?" As he is away with work quite regularly (he works away for one to two week blocks, then comes back and the cycle continues) I replied with: "Work was alright actually. I hope your day has improved as you seemed to be struggling this morning ha! How about you let me know when you are free considering you are travelling half the country all of the time and then we can do something?" Don't judge me I am not a great texter! Anyway, nothing since! He is not the type of guy who is glued to his phone and he has actually told me not to get offended that he is not a brilliant technological communicator. We have even laughed together at how hopeless both of us can be with words lol. I just don't know what to do!? It sounds promising and not promising at the same time? Do I give it more time? Do I text first? Do I give up? Do I live my life and stop being such a stress head? Please help! I really like him. He is different to other men I have known, very calm and open to new experiences, a gentleman and a brilliant listener. He fascinates me a bit. Don't hold your breath with this guy. Too many red flags here. Keep looking for someone who actually shows his interest. BTW, it was too soon for sex IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Maybe his phone died and he lost his contact list. How many times I heard that one eh! I think there is nothing wrong in OP texting him again considering they have been dating for a while and they were intimate. If he has a good reason for not getting back to her than good, if he has a cheap excuse she'll know. My phone died last week (battery will not charge. It's in the bin now) and I lost all contacts I had added in the last month. It does happen! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I was on the fence on this one too. I was kinda leaning towards the guy and saying contact him. But if this is the same guy in that other thread then it sounds like he isn't too interested. Agree with Katie - don't start new threads about essentially the same thing, people need context to give constructive advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Hi Rach. Rachel is my friend on real life. I am the one who showed he love shack. Rach, my Irish guy lives a five hour plane trip away and yet he would fall and text me daily when we dated! When a man feels the need to talk to you, he'll talk to you! It doesn't matter how far away he works for work..... Perth is the opposite end of the country to where we reside, and that didn't stop Irish from daily texts and calls. He isn't even much ofna texter and he did it. Me thinks him travelling isn't a legitimate reason to not have time to text the one he is into. He has time to poop and eat and he probably exercises or has time to chat to friends and family............ He has time for a 30 second text to say " hey, thinking about you, can't wait to see you again " to the woman he's truly into. Please ditch this guy. He'll only throw out the hook when he wants some action. And I am SURE he does legitimately love your company! I mean, you're an intelligent and interesting woman to get to know, so I have no doubt he does actually enjoy your company! I just know that this man doesn't have strong or intense romantic feelings towards you...... Because if he did...He wouldn't want to go days without texting. My Irish guy didn't. And he lived accross country... The guy who is flying me to see him and has flown over just to see me before. Men really do invest time and effort into getting to know us if they are super into us! This guy isn't as big a d!ck as your most recent ex but trust me on this one, his behaviour is NOT that of a man who has started to fall for you...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RachyB Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 Thanks for all the help guys! I sent him a message at about lunchtime today (I am in Australia and it's currently 5pm here and no reply as of yet). Basically I just asked him how he has been and said I was keen to catch up. I like him because we have similar values and the same outlook on life. He is very intelligent and easy to talk to. I was worried that I slept with him too soon, but what is done is done and I am not going to obsess over something I cannot change. The ball is definitely in his court now. I have done everything I can. If he doesn't reply I know he is just not that into me and that is ok. I strongly dislike all the "rules" of dating as I am just not great at them. I have done a lot of soul searching as a result of this post (as much as a woman can do in 24 hours anyway!). I just think that I am only 24 years old and I have so much in my life to focus on- work, study, travel etc. I have had some pretty unhappy relationships these past few years and maybe I just need time to be myself and be single and figure out who I am as a person before I worry about bringing a man into my life! I will keep everyone updated though. Once again, thank you so much for all the help, advice and support! Every single perspective is appreciated! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I like him because we have similar values and the same outlook on life. He is very intelligent and easy to talk to. You know RachyB I did the same mistake as you meaning I liked a man for the wrong reasons. Maybe you and him have the same general values and outlook but in the day to day life you don't. Ignoring someone's communication for a week is your value as well? What good does it have to share the same outlook on things if he cannot return a call, cannot offer you consideration, cannot take 30 seconds in his busy day to say hello. You don't really have a good reason to like this guy. You should like a guy when: - he's there to listen to you - he makes you feel important - he's considerate of your time and feelings - he is consistent in his words and actions - he makes you feel secure - he's interested in you - he makes you laugh - he spends time with you - he compromises for you I don't see any good reasons why you like this current guy other than he's hot. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I liked your post Gaeta, because that is a very good list of reasons to like a guy!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) RachyB has he responded to your text yet??? The one you sent yesterday at lunchtime? Yeah Gaeta, agree with V ....great list! Edited August 30, 2015 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I have to say... I'm a bit late to the party with posting, but the only advice I agreed with from the start, was Katiegirl's. Reading the other threads on this guy is not even necessary. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I have to say... I'm a bit late to the party with posting, but the only advice I agreed with from the start, was Katiegirl's. Reading the other threads on this guy is not even necessary. Wow, thanks!!!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 The thing is, I have reached out to him before. He has gone cold on me (like not texted for ages) and so I have sent him a message first and he was like "oh I am really bad with technological communication don't hold it against me." I didn't hold it against him either. It doesn't sound exactly like he was "chasing" you though does it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RachyB Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sorry it has taken me so long to reply guys, I have been legitimately SUPER busy (and a bad technological communicator, ha ha I am so funny). Anyway. I sent that text like what, three weeks ago? NO REPLY EVER AGAIN. He has disappeared off the face of the earth and you know what? Whatever. His loss. I am currently NOT dating at all. It is time for a break and to focus on ME. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
siriusp Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Sorry it has taken me so long to reply guys, I have been legitimately SUPER busy (and a bad technological communicator, ha ha I am so funny). Anyway. I sent that text like what, three weeks ago? NO REPLY EVER AGAIN. He has disappeared off the face of the earth and you know what? Whatever. His loss. I am currently NOT dating at all. It is time for a break and to focus on ME. I have just read this thread.... I went through something similar recently so I know exactly how it feels. I don't like the stupid games people play and I really do not understand why women have to wait to sleep with someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PureAppleJuice Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 What a d1ck. You can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I have just read this thread.... I went through something similar recently so I know exactly how it feels. I don't like the stupid games people play and I really do not understand why women have to wait to sleep with someone. Women need to wait due to idiot men like this who get the "goods" and then disappear. If a man likes you enough he would wait and take time for feelings/romance to develop or what you call it these days. When men get what they were after they can just leave. Men arent always attached to women on the first encounter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I have just read this thread.... I went through something similar recently so I know exactly how it feels. I don't like the stupid games people play and I really do not understand why women have to wait to sleep with someone. Yep. Last guy I dated did this exact same thing to me too. And I WAITED. Before it was like, wait, and you'll know if he wants more than one thing. Now, you can wait as long as you want, dude will stick around. Then he'll still pump and dump. It's really disgusting. No loyalty anywhere anymore. I feel like there is no dating culture anymore. It's just hooking up only. No one is satisfied with just one person anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Women need to wait due to idiot men like this who get the "goods" and then disappear. When men get what they were after they can just leave. Men arent always attached to women on the first encounter. You make it sound like women won't get the "goods" if she has sex with the guy? Is sex torture for women or what? If a guy isn't genuinely interested he's going to disappear no matter he gets the goods or not. If he is interested he won't leave just because you had sex with him Link to post Share on other sites
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