I'm on the verge of losing it

[ExpatInItaly]

Thanks guys!! All of you have been really helpful to me

It's crazy how things can change in a matter of days. I think my problem has always been not having enough confidence. That's why I'm so worried about getting out there and having a "big girl" job. I'm always worried it will end up being too much for me to handle, or that I'll mess up big time. I'm sure everyone worries about that though, I just always compare myself. Not good.

I've done little things each day to try to help me get in a better place.

The only thing that bothers me is being around/talking to friends that are in relationships because it just bums me out. All my friends are in one. And they talk about it constantly. So I'm working on trying to not let that bother me. Hopefully once I get my life together I can make new friends and meet new people. I really just want to be happy. I'm glad I haven't chased this guy down. If it's meant to be it will haopen but it's out of my control. Im glad i have this thread to go back and re-read when i start to feel down.

I guess this is the struggle of growing up. I thought i would have all my crap together by now!! But maybe life isn't supposed to be completely perfect in your 20's and i guess im not supposed to have it all together yet, right?

 

Exactly.

 

You will be surprised how much you change in your twenties. I thought I had it all figured out - not so much!

 

I'm mid-thirties now and I can't tell you how different my life is today from what it was a decade ago. Even 5 years ago. You are still very young and have plenty of time to seek out your true calling, your most appropriate partner, etc.

 

Also, keep in mind that all those seemingly perfect relationships around you are never quite so perfect. Every couple has its struggles. Some of the couples you know now won't be together in a few years' time. That's normal and reflects how much we change.

 

It's so critical not to attach yourself to the first guy who comes along and whispers sweet nothings. You must give yourself and the relationship time to grow so you can more clearly assess if it's right for you. Two dates is nothing. This guy will soon be just a blip on your radar of experience with men.

[joseb]

. I think my problem has always been not having enough confidence. That's why I'm so worried about getting out there and having a "big girl" job. I'm always worried it will end up being too much for me to handle, or that I'll mess up big time. I'm sure everyone worries about that though

 

Im not sure everyone worries about it as much as it sounds like you do.

I do know that i had similar self doubts at your age, and older. I was always afraid i would mess up, that they would "find me out".

A lot of my issues stemed from childhood problems. I didnt really realise how much stuff affected me till i went to a therapist.

It really helps to talk these things through with a professional.

[Brooke42]

I haven't been on here in a while, but I just wanted everyone to know im doing much better! Still not great, but better than I was and that's a plus..

I've completely forgotten about the guy. I never went to seek professional help, but I got over him on my own. I realized that he wasn't worth my time & I'm not going to lower my standards. I've made some new friends to talk to, so it's something I look forward to everyday. I still have my one friend, and we hang out whenever i have a chance. I've gotten out of the house more just to cheer myself up. I've gone out of town to see my best friends, and that helped a lot. I've partied a little, only once, but it was nice to forget about my problems and have fun for a night. I find myself looking for happiness in the little things, and as long as I find a little thing to look forward to everyday, I'm a lot happier.

I'm glad I listened to everyone and didn't go chasing after this guy. In fact, an old guy friend from college recently reached out to me and we've got to talking. He's a really nice guy. And the good thing with him is that right now we are about an hour apart...so I'm still able to live my life on my own and have my own freedom and still discover who I am without having a guy around me 24/7.

Oh, and I have a job interview in a few days!! It's not an ideal job, but anything is better than nothing at this point. I'm really excited.

I'm so glad I listened!! If I hadn't, I would probably be wasting my time chasing that guy down and building my life around him, instead of making my own. I'm finally becoming happier!!!