pink_sugar Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 So? I mean, seriously? You will call in sick because you can't be in a room with your coworkers for an hour and a half? And you only have to be social with them for half an hour, if the other hour is a team meeting. I understand if you don't care for them, but surely you can make light conversation with them for half an hour, or at least sit at the same table as them and eat your lunch. Show up a few minutes late after everyone has already sat down and just grab whatever seat is available at the table. You probably don't even have to say a word if you don't want to, but you should probably make an attempt to enter the conversation. Are they really that terrible? I think I would have more of an issue with being forced to buy my own lunch for an office lunch. If it's a required lunch, it should be paid for by your company or department. Whenever we had department lunches, it was usually covered or an optional lunch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 And that's your personality. I am a boss. Every person in my company is extremely good friends with everyone else. It's because we hired people that fit the culture. They like each other because they are all very similar. Call it ineptness if you wish. But in 3 companies, 5 years, and over 50 employees I've never had a single person quit. You are a subset of a very large population. Some people like coming to work and genuinely enjoying the people they spend more time with than anyone else in the world. That's a fate I would wish on every person. To wake up and look forward to their work day...not question how quickly they can 'run from the building'. And that's why I wouldn't hire someone like you. It would be a bad situation for both parties. That's what the hiring process is for. The problem I have with being best buds at work is it can easily lead to office politics and drama. I don't feel the need to hang out with everyone after work all the time. Maybe it's me, but I don't think I should not be hired some place because of it. I think people forget about diversity. I enjoy talking with my coworkers, but as far as hanging out in my off time, it would have to be someone I really connect with and not just anyone. I don't care if people think I'm weird for not jumping into a clique and discussing my life story. Work is work and I think to be successful, people have to remain professional to some extent. High school ended a while ago for most of us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Now, Jay, I've seen your posts around and you're a lighthearted person and have a great sense of humor. My kind of people so you're way ! But, if you were me...and you had a choice between a bit of sexy time with your SO (an awesome sweaty hot quickie during lunch with the sexiest person you know) or spend MORE TIME with coworkers, what would you pick? As as you are, I'd have to split. Well! You would too! Well, of course!!! But we're not talking every day. We're talking once in a while, having a team lunch, followed by a meeting. Surely you can give up ONE hour of your life every now an then, no? The problem I have with being best buds at work is it can easily lead to office politics and drama. I don't feel the need to hang out with everyone after work all the time. Maybe it's me, but I don't think I should not be hired some place because of it. I think people forget about diversity. I enjoy talking with my coworkers, but as far as hanging out in my off time, it would have to be someone I really connect with and not just anyone. I don't care if people think I'm weird for not jumping into a clique and discussing my life story. Work is work and I think to be successful, people have to remain professional to some extent. High school ended a while ago for most of us. I think this is a closed minded view on the subject. But it might have to do with my experience in the work force. I've never worked in a corporate, suite wearing 9-5 job. I work in the entertainment industry and maybe things are necessarily different. It's been a few long years since I had a regular job at a company. Last one I had ended a few years ago and it was on board cruise ships. I got on with a lot of my direct colleagues and people from other departments. We'd meet every night in the crew bar, after work. On one particular ship, one night I didn't make it to the crew bar after work. The next day people were asking me where I'd been, as they'd noted y absence and wanted to know if everything was ok. I don't see what's so wrong with making friends at work. In my industry, that's what happens. Even yesterday, I was working with another colleague-come-friend. We finished work and neither of us mentioned going for a drink after (which was for the best, as we're a notorious bad influence on each other when out drinking and both had work in the morning), so we both went home. He texts me later saying we should have gone for a drink. So now we're going out for drinks after work tomorrow with another one of our colleagues. And it'll be great fun. What's so wrong with that?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 The problem I have with being best buds at work is it can easily lead to office politics and drama. I don't feel the need to hang out with everyone after work all the time. Maybe it's me, but I don't think I should not be hired some place because of it. I think people forget about diversity. I enjoy talking with my coworkers, but as far as hanging out in my off time, it would have to be someone I really connect with and not just anyone. I don't care if people think I'm weird for not jumping into a clique and discussing my life story. Work is work and I think to be successful, people have to remain professional to some extent. High school ended a while ago for most of us. No one said you have to discuss your life story with your workmates! I think it's a bad idea to get in too deep doing that. Office politics mandates you are casual and polite and professional and teamlike with your workmates. You won't create office politics by just participating. You'll create them by being the one who stands out as not part of the group. You needn't ever tell them anything other than how's the weather and how was your weekend. There's no need to get personal with workmates. In fact, I'd advise against it in general. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 No one said you have to discuss your life story with your workmates! I think it's a bad idea to get in too deep doing that. Office politics mandates you are casual and polite and professional and teamlike with your workmates. You won't create office politics by just participating. You'll create them by being the one who stands out as not part of the group. You needn't ever tell them anything other than how's the weather and how was your weekend. There's no need to get personal with workmates. In fact, I'd advise against it in general. Yea, there is a big difference between being friendly with co-workers and being friends with co-workers. It sometimes happens that the latter develops, but all that is necessary in an office environment is the former, along with professionalism. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) No one said you have to discuss your life story with your workmates! I think it's a bad idea to get in too deep doing that. Office politics mandates you are casual and polite and professional and teamlike with your workmates. You won't create office politics by just participating. You'll create them by being the one who stands out as not part of the group. You needn't ever tell them anything other than how's the weather and how was your weekend. There's no need to get personal with workmates. In fact, I'd advise against it in general. No, but that seems to be the attitude and culture of my workplace, to which I feel I don't fit in, because I do not conform. My office is very cliquey. I think it's a whole different story to be friendly and have casual chatter and another thing entirely to talk about your relationships and personal matters. It's like high school round 2 for me. If you're hanging out with everyone at work, it's too easy to end up having it come back to bite if you're ever in some sort of disagreement. Anyhow, it's that and financial reasons why I've decided to look for other work. I do enjoy the job, but the biggest issue is that there is no way I can support myself on it if I was living by myself. Edited July 19, 2015 by pink_sugar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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