whichwayisup Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Oh my gosh I couldn't believe it. I noticed he checked my blog today. I blocked on FB but can't block any person on my blog. I don't think he's going to contact me...? Just checking to see my blog updates or my pictures like before?? This means nothing except he's being snoopy and nosy, wanting to keep tabs on you. Is this a personal blog? Why not take a break from it for a while, stop putting recent pictures up. Is it possible to make it private and then people view by invitation only? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 What does it matter? It doesn't change anything... It's not like he's sending you his final divorce papers - so, he's still married. Ignore anything he does. He's only going to hurt you more if he gets in touch with you - so make decisions that benefit you! Any married man is not to your emotional benefit. Start dating... And choose single men. I don't want him back, idk why but this makes me feel better? I still haven't been able to cry, but today after finding this out, i feel better somehow... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 This means nothing except he's being snoopy and nosy, wanting to keep tabs on you. Is this a personal blog? Why not take a break from it for a while, stop putting recent pictures up. Is it possible to make it private and then people view by invitation only? Idk why he would snoops on me when he was first to delete FB? what does he want now... What he did today, looking at my blog, makes me feel better and make me NOT want him more IF he comes back to me I hope to not have any more weird dreams tonight... Link to post Share on other sites
nikki76 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I don't want him back, idk why but this makes me feel better? I still haven't been able to cry, but today after finding this out, i feel better somehow... It probably makes you feel better because you think by him checking your blog, he still wants to somehow be with you. You enjoy the thrill and the attention. I've been there before. Trust me, This has nothing to do with him still wanting you or caring about you. It's still and will always be all about him. Hes making it be known in a manipulative way, that he's still willing to throw you those crumbs, as soon as you crack and contact him. You say you're done and you want nothing more with the affair, but I'm sorry, Im not sure if this is true. I know this from my own experience. When this person contacts you, and he will, you will give in. Thinking things will change. But they wont. They never will. This is why, you need to cut all ties that lead to him. Can you deactivate your blog temporarily? You need to think about all the ways he can track you down and prevent him from contacting you. Please be careful. This man seems relentless. And he's only playing with your head and heart. People told me the same thing when I was going through this. I thought I had a handle on it. But I didnt. I caved and he played with my mind once again and hurt me even more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 It probably makes you feel better because you think by him checking your blog, he still wants to somehow be with you. Please be careful. This man seems relentless. And he's only playing with your head and heart. People told me the same thing when I was going through this. I thought I had a handle on it. But I didnt. I caved and he played with my mind once again and hurt me even more. I will learn from your mistakes! He will not come back to my life. I liked him, and it will stay like that from before. I won't say I hate him but I have less respect for him. I'm sorry you were hurt, how long did it all go away?? Are you happy now? My worry is that I won't find anyone my type... It takes me years to just find someone I like, then to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 This means nothing except he's being snoopy and nosy, wanting to keep tabs on you. Is this a personal blog? Why not take a break from it for a while, stop putting recent pictures up. Is it possible to make it private and then people view by invitation only? I haven't post anything new since a couple of weeks ago.. I don't update often. And it's usually about random things, nothing personal personal,, like songs, quotes, sometimes I talk about them, but nothing like I hate someone for leaving me or I have a new boyfriend Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Men with pregnant wives often go down the road of looking for someone else. The pregnant wife has often other things to think about and the man can feel neglected or is just not turned on by his pregnant wife. Some men can start looking around for other women, at that time. In this case the wife left, so he was then exceptionally needy, his wife is no longer there and he was probably feeling completely starved of comfort and intimacy. A good or perhaps more experienced man would of stood by his wife and child and realised what she was going through, but this man decided to look elsewhere for a a new "wife", a new "mother" for his child. Along you came, he knew you, he was comfortable around you and he merely slotted you into the hole his wife had left in his life. You were his saviour and I guess he merged you and his wife together in his mind. To you it felt wonderful, it was just so easy, so right, but you were the substitute, the replacement, he didn't love YOU for YOU. YOU were merely the stand-in who took up the place of his wife when she wasn't there. Enter the parents and other family member, who show him what he is doing, they open his eyes to his wife's issues and suddenly he is back in the real world and looking to go back to his wife and sort out his family. He now sees YOU for YOU and he realised the rebound relationship was a sham, YOU are NOT his wife, you are just some random woman who stepped in to fill the gap. That is why rebounds are often so cruel, the substitute is lured into this fantastic life of intimacy, soulmates and being treated as a loved one, to suddenly find it was all a sham, and just a means for a hurt person to get over their real relationship. BUT and there is a big but in this case, he now knows you are waiting in the wings, and some men will see that as an opportunity to "have it all". A wife and a child AND a convenient OW who he knows loves him and therefore who will put up with just about anything from him as long as he stays in her life. DO NOT be that doormat. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
nikki76 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I will learn from your mistakes! He will not come back to my life. I liked him, and it will stay like that from before. I won't say I hate him but I have less respect for him. I'm sorry you were hurt, how long did it all go away?? Are you happy now? My worry is that I won't find anyone my type... It takes me years to just find someone I like, then to date. I'm only 10 weeks NC, so it's all still pretty fresh. I'm married, so it's different . I am happy now in my marriage. But I'm still very hurt. I'm angry at myself for betraying my husband and family. I can't believe I became that person. It seems so unreal. There will always be someone out there for you. When you least expect it, they will come into your life. You you will see what it's like to be treated like the women you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Do guys feel bad of what they're doing after they come back to their wife? Will they forever remember that they did the horrible thing?? Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Do guys feel bad of what they're doing after they come back to their wife? Will they forever remember that they did the horrible thing?? My xMM tells me he doesn't regret our affair and loved every minute of it. He says he's sad he won't ever have that again, but we both knew when it got too risky ot would have to end. And it did. So he doesn't see it as a horrible thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 I just remember about 2 weeks ago, we were talking about if I would be okay with him with a baby and him coming to the wife to get the baby. And if the wife try to talk to him he would say to her "I'm happy with __ and I don't think us that way anymore." And he also said "I hope you will trust me enough to know that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship." Sigh. Men. Link to post Share on other sites
sookie321 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I just remember about 2 weeks ago, we were talking about if I would be okay with him with a baby and him coming to the wife to get the baby. And if the wife try to talk to him he would say to her "I'm happy with __ and I don't think us that way anymore." And he also said "I hope you will trust me enough to know that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship." Sigh. Men. About 2 weeks ago mine said "the more time I spend at home the more I'm sure I want to be with you". Guess what? He's still there. I don't think he was lying to you when he said it. I don't think all MM are planning ways to deceive all around them. At that moment they mean it but when the time comes for action they cave. Cowards. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Does he know that your blog will show he has been there? This is important because if he knows and did so then the emotional cruelty behind this is very telling. He had a nanny, he can afford you sending him a bill for your spiritual, emotional, and physical counseling. Let him know you are not waiting around for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Does he know that your blog will show he has been there? This is important because if he knows and did so then the emotional cruelt.... No he doesn't know that I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 He had a nanny, he can afford you sending him a bill for your spiritual, emotional, and physical counseling. . Lol I know right... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Help!! His wife found my blog and sent me a letter she sent to him.. I'm in another country vacationing, a pre-planned trip before all of this... I have moved on, though I'm single, I haven't have heavy heart aches. I have not been in contact with him since. I've been posting on my blog of things I encounter during my trip, documenting, just like all the trips I took before. I was surprised she sent me her letter. Under my blog is a contact form, she filled it out with her name and a letter dated from before our breakup. Letter was simply saying her world fell apart the night he told her they have problems. How in her mind, her marriage was good and how she did not see he was unhappy. Blah blah blah she found out about me, a bunch of questions of Is She better/ prettier/more interesting than me? And how she would take him back even though she got cheated on. Then went on to say how she lost trust.. So much resentment but she still wants him back. But if he feels like he's staying because he pity for her health then he should leave her. She have a problem that he still does not know what he did was wrong... Last question was why did he desire me more and asked him to help her close some gaps... So... Hmmm... Any thoughts? I mean, the letter seems pointless to me when sent to me because I'm not trying nor want him back. What did she want me to do with it?? Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Maybe she just wants you to know she knows about the affair. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Not only that she knows about the affair but she knows who you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 She's also telling you she gave him a pass if he wanted it. An out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) I just got back from My long vacation yesterday and today I got a call from his wife. She was quiet at first after my "Hello?" And I asked who it is... She told me she's been trying to contact me for some time (prolly because I was out of country and couldn't be reached and I had no idea) and told me I prolly know who she is.. I was carrying my little nephew and he hung up my phone. She called me back and have yet to call her back... So.. Should I call her back? What to say? I left him and still NC since he last texted that he went back to his wife and rebuilding their family... I don't know what's going on in their worlds since, what is there to talk about?? And I'm curious how she got my number, first she got my blog as said on earlier posts.. Edited August 28, 2015 by DevastateHeartbroken Add details Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 NVM, addressing old post. Also, I would just ignore the call unless she calls back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastateHeartbroken Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 NVM, addressing old post. Also, I would just ignore the call unless she calls back. She did calls back. And prolly have been calling for the last few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 She did calls back. And prolly have been calling for the last few weeks. Oookkk, well my advice is the same: either answer her or block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I just got back from My long vacation yesterday and today I got a call from his wife. She was quiet at first after my "Hello?" And I asked who it is... She told me she's been trying to contact me for some time (prolly because I was out of country and couldn't be reached and I had no idea) and told me I prolly know who she is.. I was carrying my little nephew and he hung up my phone. She called me back and have yet to call her back... So.. Should I call her back? What to say? I left him and still NC since he last texted that he went back to his wife and rebuilding their family... I don't know what's going on in their worlds since, what is there to talk about?? And I'm curious how she got my number, first she got my blog as said on earlier posts.. Since you dropped that call - yes, call her back. Be a good listener and see what she needs to say to you. If needed, you can tell her you need time to think about what she's saying and get back to her. If possible answer questions she has and be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Help!! His wife found my blog and sent me a letter she sent to him.. I'm in another country vacationing, a pre-planned trip before all of this... I have moved on, though I'm single, I haven't have heavy heart aches. I have not been in contact with him since. I've been posting on my blog of things I encounter during my trip, documenting, just like all the trips I took before. I was surprised she sent me her letter. Under my blog is a contact form, she filled it out with her name and a letter dated from before our breakup. Letter was simply saying her world fell apart the night he told her they have problems. How in her mind, her marriage was good and how she did not see he was unhappy. Blah blah blah she found out about me, a bunch of questions of Is She better/ prettier/more interesting than me? And how she would take him back even though she got cheated on. Then went on to say how she lost trust.. So much resentment but she still wants him back. But if he feels like he's staying because he pity for her health then he should leave her. She have a problem that he still does not know what he did was wrong... Last question was why did he desire me more and asked him to help her close some gaps... So... Hmmm... Any thoughts? I mean, the letter seems pointless to me when sent to me because I'm not trying nor want him back. What did she want me to do with it?? Did I misunderstand your post that said he told you they were separated when you first got together? This letter doesn't sound like it was written by someone who was separated, rather, it was written by someone who considered herself to very much be married. If that's the case, then he is a big, fat liar. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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