Wife has been having a LTA for 15 years

[Buckeye2]

The most sensitive test for pregnancy measures humanchorionic gonadotropin and can detect pregnancy as early as seven days after conception. You had sex “a few days” before June 26th and she’s telling you that she’s pregnant on June 30th.

[Mr Mind of Shazam]

autumnnight in response to your question, how am I doing? Not so good! I just got news from OBS that she is pregnant and it is my child. Just when I thought things were starting to calm down now this happens. LS, what do I do? Please help! I am beyond freaking out! WW doesn't know yet of course.

I told you a while back that your decisions have been terrible from the get go.

 

But that's the past. What do you do? Own up to what you did. There is no other choice.

 

This has been a heck of a few weeks for you, huh? Aren't you worried that with the sexy details, the public confrontation, and the crimes, this won't make the papers?

[turnera]

autumnnight in response to your question, how am I doing? Not so good! I just got news from OBS that she is pregnant and it is my child. Just when I thought things were starting to calm down now this happens. LS, what do I do? Please help! I am beyond freaking out! WW doesn't know yet of course.

 

Good grief.

 

You screwed her one time and she's pregnant? Oh, and of course it is yours.

 

Outtahere.

[Babs22]

The most sensitive test for pregnancy measures humanchorionic gonadotropin and can detect pregnancy as early as seven days after conception. You had sex “a few days” before June 26th and she’s telling you that she’s pregnant on June 30th.

 

Buckeye 2 is correct. I find it HIGHLY unlikely that this woman could possibly know she is pregnant from you sleeping together on or around the 23rd. Most woman would wait for their missed period to take a test anyway. If she was ovulating on the 23rd. Her missed period wouldn't start until at least 12 days after her peak ovulation ended. Why would she take a pregnancy test before that. I smell a rat life destroyed. She is either pregnant with her dead husbands baby or playing you. This is really not believable. Don't sleep with her again until you see an ultrasound and are told how far along she is, only then will you know if she got pregnant on the day you had sex with her. She may be trying to trap you now that her H is dead.

[lifedestroyed]

I feel a little better from your posts knowing that this child may very likely not be mine. There is no way it could have been OM, so i'm putting my money on someone else being in the picture. I hope however that oldlady you're not correct this being a hysterical pregnancy (going to look this up).

 

As for those saying this is like a "soap opera" or fictional, i'm going to side with Sumsay on this, thank you for sharing your horrible ordeal. It certainly may feel that way to you guys but this is every bit as real for me and my world has come crashing down. I am a human and I make mistakes too, but I did not deserve any of this.

 

As for OM suicide the whole thing is just suspicious to me, and i'm sure others in my area feel the same. It got swept up very quickly and no mention of it in the media. The way he supposedly killed himself, even i'm no professional in crime but I could tell it was more of a homicide nature. Darth Vader i would hazard a guess the gang had something to do with this but what can I do? He is deceased now. No doubt if this was back in Australia it would be ruled as a murder case not a suicide case. I don't know, just smells fishy to me.

 

My kids are taking baby steps, IC seems to be helping for them and for myself also. I am finally internally accepting that this was not my fault. I knew this in my mind but I couldn't internalise it, now I am progressing forward I believe. Are there any questions I could answer that I missed earlier? This thread has so many pages and it would be time consuming for me to go back and try to identify any questions that I missed.

 

LD

[Noirek]

I feel a little better from your posts knowing that this child may very likely not be mine. There is no way it could have been OM, so i'm putting my money on someone else being in the picture. I hope however that oldlady you're not correct this being a hysterical pregnancy (going to look this up).

 

As for those saying this is like a "soap opera" or fictional, i'm going to side with Sumsay on this, thank you for sharing your horrible ordeal. It certainly may feel that way to you guys but this is every bit as real for me and my world has come crashing down. I am a human and I make mistakes too, but I did not deserve any of this.

 

As for OM suicide the whole thing is just suspicious to me, and i'm sure others in my area feel the same. It got swept up very quickly and no mention of it in the media. The way he supposedly killed himself, even i'm no professional in crime but I could tell it was more of a homicide nature. Darth Vader i would hazard a guess the gang had something to do with this but what can I do? He is deceased now. No doubt if this was back in Australia it would be ruled as a murder case not a suicide case. I don't know, just smells fishy to me.

 

My kids are taking baby steps, IC seems to be helping for them and for myself also. I am finally internally accepting that this was not my fault. I knew this in my mind but I couldn't internalise it, now I am progressing forward I believe. Are there any questions I could answer that I missed earlier? This thread has so many pages and it would be time consuming for me to go back and try to identify any questions that I missed.

 

LD

 

She sure gets around... Maybe her children actually were fathered by a different man. My advice to someone would be stay away from this woman.

[merrmeade]

I feel a little better from your posts knowing that this child may very likely not be mine. There is no way it could have been OM, so i'm putting my money on someone else being in the picture. I hope however that oldlady you're not correct this being a hysterical pregnancy (going to look this up).

 

As for those saying this is like a "soap opera" or fictional, i'm going to side with Sumsay on this, thank you for sharing your horrible ordeal. It certainly may feel that way to you guys but this is every bit as real for me and my world has come crashing down. I am a human and I make mistakes too, but I did not deserve any of this.

 

As for OM suicide the whole thing is just suspicious to me, and i'm sure others in my area feel the same. It got swept up very quickly and no mention of it in the media. The way he supposedly killed himself, even i'm no professional in crime but I could tell it was more of a homicide nature. Darth Vader i would hazard a guess the gang had something to do with this but what can I do? He is deceased now. No doubt if this was back in Australia it would be ruled as a murder case not a suicide case. I don't know, just smells fishy to me.

 

My kids are taking baby steps, IC seems to be helping for them and for myself also. I am finally internally accepting that this was not my fault. I knew this in my mind but I couldn't internalise it, now I am progressing forward I believe. Are there any questions I could answer that I missed earlier? This thread has so many pages and it would be time consuming for me to go back and try to identify any questions that I missed.

 

LD

Whenever I start to question the veracity of a thread with events as disturbing as this one, I remember that I had no idea how outrageous my own story sounded until I laid it out here. No, people don't want to be publicly exposed, so they will do anything to avoid exposure, twist reality any way they have to and then when the sh-t gets deeper, their stories get more absurd.

[Darth Vader]

I feel a little better from your posts knowing that this child may very likely not be mine. There is no way it could have been OM, so i'm putting my money on someone else being in the picture. I hope however that oldlady you're not correct this being a hysterical pregnancy (going to look this up).

 

As for those saying this is like a "soap opera" or fictional, i'm going to side with Sumsay on this, thank you for sharing your horrible ordeal. It certainly may feel that way to you guys but this is every bit as real for me and my world has come crashing down. I am a human and I make mistakes too, but I did not deserve any of this.

 

As for OM suicide the whole thing is just suspicious to me, and i'm sure others in my area feel the same. It got swept up very quickly and no mention of it in the media. The way he supposedly killed himself, even i'm no professional in crime but I could tell it was more of a homicide nature. Darth Vader i would hazard a guess the gang had something to do with this but what can I do? He is deceased now. No doubt if this was back in Australia it would be ruled as a murder case not a suicide case. I don't know, just smells fishy to me.

 

My kids are taking baby steps, IC seems to be helping for them and for myself also. I am finally internally accepting that this was not my fault. I knew this in my mind but I couldn't internalise it, now I am progressing forward I believe. Are there any questions I could answer that I missed earlier? This thread has so many pages and it would be time consuming for me to go back and try to identify any questions that I missed.

 

LD

 

 

The forensic technology of today is a lot more precise than it has been before, I was thinking it could be your relatives!

[No Limit]

Unrelated: No Limit, are you really 19 years old? You sound much more mature and I think you are one badass

 

minor off topic -- Badass? Well, there are just some qualities one is born with.

[lifedestroyed]

D settlement has been complete and the D will be finalised in 90 days. We all walk away with more than we need and i'm happy with the settlement. I got full custody of my children and got the house too. I thought it was very strange that WW didn't put up a fight for at least some custody, but my cousin told me earlier today they had a "talk" with her, none of my business anyway as I had no involvement.

 

My STBXMIL is still staying with us, kind of an awkward situation to be honest but that's the Australian in me talking, here it's not weird at all. Not sure what she wants exactly but she is helping with the kids and it's nice to have pleasant company around anyway.

 

OBS and I are meeting up tomorrow for lunch to talk about the child she is carrying. Since her and I are on good terms, I don't want to appear as if i'm accusing her of sleeping with another man other than myself, so I won't press her to tell me that. We just have to wait and see later if I am the father.

 

OBS is strangely calm and collected albeit her outburst on dday of her WH's death. She doesn't appear to be sad anymore, and trust me I know when she is sad because I was with her post DDAY of the affair and she is not the same person anymore. Perhaps she is glad OM is dead? I'm not sure.

 

WW will be allowed to visit the kids whenever they want to see her. I am afraid she may try to kidnap my children and flee.

[turnera]

WW didn't put up a fight for at least some custody. I am afraid she may try to kidnap my children and flee.

Uh huh. Of course she will.

[merrmeade]

How's the IC going for you and for the kids?

[Grumpybutfun]

I don't even have to read this. Your wife is an ass.

Move on,

G

[Noirek]

My post is gone and it was entirely relevant to this thread and did not break any rules??

 

1. The OP is responsible for the actions taken by his family to strike fear into the stbx. She is still the mother of the children and when you see something wrong or illegal happen and ignore it you carry part of the responsibility. The OP is just as much apart of this gang by condoning their actions if he doesn't stand up and tell them to stop. And really mean it.

 

2. You are not the father unless you mixed up your timeline on when you actually had sex with her. Or negelcted to mention it happened more than once. Don't worry about her feelings so much as she is still not your responsibility. No you shouldn't have had unprotected sex... Thats on both of you and your old enough to know better.

 

3. I read this part wrong you meant the other betrayed spouse isn't sad. Well, she probably also is in shock. Emotions aren't linear as you know. Nor does one experience one emotion at a time. I am sure she is still in mourning. Just more for the life she thought she had.

 

4. Your kids are a little old to be kidnapped. They would have to want to go to with their mother. And that doesn't seem likely.

[understand50]

My post is gone and it was entirely relevant to this thread and did not break any rules??

 

1. The OP is responsible for the actions taken by his family to strike fear into the stbx. She is still the mother of the children and when you see something wrong or illegal happen and ignore it you carry part of the responsibility. The OP is just as much apart of this gang by condoning their actions if he doesn't stand up and tell them to stop. And really mean it.

 

2. You are not the father unless you mixed up your timeline on when you actually had sex with her. Or negelcted to mention it happened more than once. Don't worry about her feelings so much as she is still not your responsibility. No you shouldn't have had unprotected sex... Thats on both of you and your old enough to know better.

 

3. I read this part wrong you meant the other betrayed spouse isn't sad. Well, she probably also is in shock. Emotions aren't linear as you know. Nor does one experience one emotion at a time. I am sure she is still in mourning. Just more for the life she thought she had.

 

4. Your kids are a little old to be kidnapped. They would have to want to go to with their mother. And that doesn't seem likely.

 

A clear concise write up, I hope LD reads and heeds.

[MM_20Y]

Sorry LS things have been rather chaotic, I will update you on everything shortly. I need some advice on a couple of things. OM took the cowards way out and commited suicide, I feel so sad because of this. I feel so many mixed emotions torwards this whole situation. I never wished such a thing upon him. OBS and WW are in hysterics, understandably so. I don't know how to move forward anymore.

 

As soon as I heard the news I immediately lost all desire to be vengeful in the divorce. OM took the fall for siphoning the company money right before he took his life, so WW is legally in the clear. How do I move forward? Both women are looking to me as the "leader" now and i'm just so confused how to conduct myself. WW came crying to me and I literally froze, had no idea what to do. How does one support their WS at the death of their affair partner? Anyone been in such a situation?

 

I am now worse off emotionally than I was before! I liked hating them and being angry at them! I liked being vengeful torwards them and now I just don't know... and oh our dear kids, distraught by all that has recently happened they have to take this on too? How can I be strong for the children when i'm weak myself?

 

I don't think he was a coward. He took the fall for your WW and in a way, took responsibility for his actions, something your WW is unlikely to do. He now lies in the wake of your WW, who will not be held to answer for herself by the law or even society. I feel sorry for his WW and kids.

 

...just saw the later post about it not being a suicide perhaps. Still not very equitable that the guy bears the most responsibility.

Edited July 7, 2015 by MM_20Y

[sammy7111]

Why are u worried about your ex wife after all she has done to u?

[lifedestroyed]

Well I come again to you LS in need of more advice. OBS and I are indeed expecting and it's mine, confirmed by a drunken night we shared but I had no recollection of. My stbxw is alone and miserable, trying to "win me back" but it's all laughable. We had a fair divorce settlement, i'm happy with it, all things considered. Now we wait it out for the finalising of the divorce.

 

OBS and I moved in together with our kids in a new house. We are I guess what you would call a happy family, it just seems to all have fitted in place. I couldn't be happier, but I am wondering if it's possible to have a normal good relationship after all we've been through? Can we survive? I don't want to have a failed relationship with OBS, I really see myself growing old with her.

[understand50]

Well I come again to you LS in need of more advice. OBS and I are indeed expecting and it's mine, confirmed by a drunken night we shared but I had no recollection of. My stbxw is alone and miserable, trying to "win me back" but it's all laughable. We had a fair divorce settlement, i'm happy with it, all things considered. Now we wait it out for the finalising of the divorce.

 

OBS and I moved in together with our kids in a new house. We are I guess what you would call a happy family, it just seems to all have fitted in place. I couldn't be happier, but I am wondering if it's possible to have a normal good relationship after all we've been through? Can we survive? I don't want to have a failed relationship with OBS, I really see myself growing old with her.

 

lifedestroyed,

 

The future is what you make of it. Yes, you both can be a family and love one another. If you and she want this, then it can happen. Just keep your eyes open and your powder dry.

 

I wish you luck.

[minimariah]

OBS and I moved in together with our kids in a new house. We are I guess what you would call a happy family, it just seems to all have fitted in place. I couldn't be happier, but I am wondering if it's possible to have a normal good relationship after all we've been through? Can we survive? I don't want to have a failed relationship with OBS, I really see myself growing old with her.

 

how are the kids coping with the death of their father (hers) & with the separation from their mother (yours)...?

 

this is happening REALLY fast - i'd recommend some strong counseling for the children.

[turnera]

Counseling is a must.

 

For you and OBS, get the book His Needs Her Needs and read it together, a little bit each night. All the way through, discussing what you learn about each other along the way. When you're done, print out the Emotional Needs and Love Busters questionnaires, fill them out, and then sit down when you have a few hours, and discuss everything you learn from them. Using all that, then create a sort of 'contract' that you both agree on. You may even want to sign it, as a sort of promise to each other that you now know what you each need and what you promise to give each other (and what to avoid), and that you guys intend to honor that agreement.

 

It will help you in the future, when you're having stressors, to have it to rely back on and remember how you vowed to protect each other. Being on the same page on these things will really help.

[sandylee1]

Well congratulations on the baby news. I'm sure you weren't expecting this to happen when you first posted.

 

I hope the kids are all coping with the situation, it must be so different for them to adjust.

 

Does their mother see your kids often?

Will you ever tell your daughters the truth about their paternity?