Signed up for OLD.... Now what???

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

But yeah i'm 6'2 white and decent looking (or so I'm told), however I feel like I have my share of weaknesses as well in other areas. I won't presume to know what works best for every guy though.

 

Yes, but the thing I think guys have to understand about OLD is that messaging women with those same weaknesses won't make a response likely.

 

What a guy might do is say, "Well, I'm a short Indian guy, let me message this short Indian gal who's a little chubby but I still think she's kinda cute." Then, nothing. That kind of thing can @#$% a guy up.

 

You have a better chance when a woman has viewed your profile. Much better chance that you are on her radar. Your chances go up a lot.

 

I still have never gotten a response from a woman that hasn't viewed my profile first. Granted, I've gotten very few response period. But, anyway, just trying to share my advice from my own experiences.

[barcode88]

Yes, but the thing I think guys have to understand about OLD is that messaging women with those same weaknesses won't make a response likely.

 

What a guy might do is say, "Well, I'm a short Indian guy, let me message this short Indian gal who's a little chubby but I still think she's kinda cute." Then, nothing. That kind of thing can @#$% a guy up.

 

You have a better chance when a woman has viewed your profile. Much better chance that you are on her radar. Your chances go up a lot.

 

I still have never gotten a response from a woman that hasn't viewed my profile first. Granted, I've gotten very few response period. But, anyway, just trying to share my advice from my own experiences.

 

When I was an OLD novice I would feel down when I'd get rejected by a girl who I felt like we were a sure match, or maybe I was a bit above her league. The worst was on POF where it says if your messages were Read Deleted - add insult to injury much?

 

However, if you want to be good at OLD, you need to not give a **** if some girl doesn't want you. Luckily on Match it doesn't say if she Read your message or not, so if I don't hear back I just assume they never read my message Win/Win for me.

 

In order to succeed you need to know how to handle rejection at least somewhat gracefully.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

In order to succeed you need to know how to handle rejection at least somewhat gracefully.

 

Absolutely, and I'm jaded to it already.

 

I'm just saying, my way is a way to increase your response rate while not being dealt like 15 rejections off the bat to long, sincere, hand-crafted messages.

 

I mean, I could drive out tonight to a bunch of bars and clubs and get rejected by 200 women (and that's probably exactly what would happen) and my world wouldn't be shattered come Monday morning. That doesn't mean it's particularly fun or productive thing to do.

[Gary S]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

[JuneJulySeptember]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

 

Right. And while we are on this weird kick of giving ACTUAL advice, I'll say that if you think your profile is deficient (possibly even neurotically so) and you are thinking of changing it, it won't matter to women who have already viewed it.

 

So, you don't have to make improvements/changes before you mail those ones.

[LoveMachine67]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

 

Sounds like a great point!

 

Do you ever feel you miss some because the women can checkout your profile and remain hidden? Match charges extra for this option... $30 extra to be exact.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Sounds like a great point!

 

Do you ever feel you miss some because the women can checkout your profile and remain hidden? Match charges extra for this option... $30 extra to be exact.

 

I've noticed women have been doing that.

 

I'll see that they have viewed my profile and then they'll be gone from the queue a couple of days later.

 

My take is that those women will message the men they are really interested in and probably want to do some experimental browsing.

 

Like I spent some time perusing profiles of random women just to see what type of men they put in their requirements.

[barcode88]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

 

I don't get many random views from Women, only a few here and there. Usually they view after I Message them, or if I view them first. I suppose you could just View and hit Next constantly and wait until Women view you back. To me this is very inefficient, I just send 5-10 messages a day on average (not every day though).

 

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[Gary S]

 

Do you ever feel you miss some because the women can checkout your profile and remain hidden? Match charges extra for this option... $30 extra to be exact.

 

- you will always miss some no matter what you do.

 

 

 

Barcode, it might work better for older men... if your are young, the odds are stacked against men on dating sites, you'll probably have to do form letters in mass.

 

But internet dating is getting better for men... there are some idiots like Marc Katz telling women to hit on men... it's great for men, but not so great to be telling women to risk extra, unnecessary rejection.

 

He has a 2-2-2 rule - exchange 2 messages, go to email and exchange 2 emails, then 2 phone calls. Going to email makes no sense - and that's the first thing the Nigerian scammers ask for, your email.

[barcode88]

- you will always miss some no matter what you do.

 

 

 

Barcode, it might work better for older men... if your are young, the odds are stacked against men on dating sites, you'll probably have to do form letters in mass.

 

But internet dating is getting better for men... there are some idiots like Marc Katz telling women to hit on men... it's great for men, but not so great to be telling women to risk extra, unnecessary rejection.

 

He has a 2-2-2 rule - exchange 2 messages, go to email and exchange 2 emails, then 2 phone calls. Going to email makes no sense - and that's the first thing the Nigerian scammers ask for, your email.

 

Well a couple weeks ago in some halfhearted searching I dated 3 girls (2 match 1 tinder) and banged one of them (match girl) lol. The odds could be much worse I think.

[JuneJulySeptember]

- you will always miss some no matter what you do.

 

 

 

Barcode, it might work better for older men... if your are young, the odds are stacked against men on dating sites, you'll probably have to do form letters in mass.

 

But internet dating is getting better for men... there are some idiots like Marc Katz telling women to hit on men... it's great for men, but not so great to be telling women to risk extra, unnecessary rejection.

 

He has a 2-2-2 rule - exchange 2 messages, go to email and exchange 2 emails, then 2 phone calls. Going to email makes no sense - and that's the first thing the Nigerian scammers ask for, your email.

 

My advice is actually coming as an older guy ~40.

 

I message women with children, women over 45, and I still have a very low response rate.

 

I actually messaged a woman in her late 30s who said she was fed up with the superficiality of dating and the conformity of society who had viewed my profile first and she still ignored my email.

 

I can't even imagine how it would have been in my 20s when women still are holding on to their picture of the ideal man and literally every single man counts as your competition. Jesus, I just shuddered.

[barcode88]

My advice is actually coming as an older guy ~40.

 

I message women with children, women over 45, and I still have a very low response rate.

 

I actually messaged a woman in her late 30s who said she was fed up with the superficiality of dating and the conformity of society who had viewed my profile first and she still ignored my email.

 

I can't even imagine how it would have been in my 20s when women still are holding on to their picture of the ideal man and literally every single man counts as your competition. Jesus, I just shuddered.

 

Don't let rejection get to you.... If I had a dollar for every girl who nexted me I would be rich. OLD is a numbers game, search for women you think are attractive, read their profiles briefly, send messages.... Try and do this for as many as you can until one bites.

 

OLD is like fishing, it takes a bit of patience.

 

 

Speaking of which I just got a message back finally with another girl's number

[LoveMachine67]

My advice is actually coming as an older guy ~40.

 

I message women with children, women over 45, and I still have a very low response rate.

 

I actually messaged a woman in her late 30s who said she was fed up with the superficiality of dating and the conformity of society who had viewed my profile first and she still ignored my email.

 

I can't even imagine how it would have been in my 20s when women still are holding on to their picture of the ideal man and literally every single man counts as your competition. Jesus, I just shuddered.

 

 

I can believe that one. ^^^^

 

I read one woman's profile yesterday that was honest enough to admit that she was very superficial. She apologized in advance for not responding to men that didn't meet her minimum looks test.

[barcode88]

I can believe that one. ^^^^

 

I read one woman's profile yesterday that was honest enough to admit that she was very superficial. She apologized in advance for not responding to men that didn't meet her minimum looks test.

 

Lol, if women responded to most guys, they'd be sending like anywhere from 20 to 50+ messages a day easily.... I don't do that many even.

 

Everyone is superficial, if someone says they aren't they're lying.

 

 

If you want more matches, filter by ONLINE ONLY Women.... Only works the best in Metropolitan areas though... If you're rural there won't be as much activity.

[LoveMachine67]

Lol, if women responded to most guys, they'd be sending like anywhere from 20 to 50+ messages a day easily.... I don't do that many even.

 

Everyone is superficial, if someone says they aren't they're lying.

 

 

If you want more matches, filter by ONLINE ONLY Women.... Only works the best in Metropolitan areas though... If you're rural there won't be as much activity.

 

Yeah just my luck

 

Though I am willing to drive up to hour and a half if necessary. I love your suggestion to filter by ONLINE ONLY

[LostOne1]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

Honestly, I had it the other way around. Women who saw my profile never messaged back. But women that I hit up 1st hit me up back almost always.

[Popsicle]

I never get spammed on Match actually... If anything I get winked by girls with their profile telling me to E-Mail them on some gmail account, but that even hasn't happened in a while.

 

However on POF/Tinder, yeah... lots of spam. That's any free site for you.

.

 

So how do guys know the difference between a real woman who has messaged you and a spammer who has messaged you?

[Popsicle]

There is a secret to match.com for men. Don't initiate contact. "What?!", you say? - simply message the ones you like on your "viewed me" list. If they looked at your profile, there is a high chance they are attracted to you. You have a 60% better chance at getting a response this way.

 

This is a ginormous tip and will save you a ton of time, it's extremely efficient.

 

But your pics and profile need to be good.... make sure you workout, say nothing negative in the profile, and get the best pics you can. If you are going to spend time on match, you are better off spending time on the profile and pics rather than messaging random women who are not qualified.

 

Nothing is going to happen unless the girl likes you first.

 

Not a bad idea at all.

[oberkeat]

I finally joined Match yesterday

 

Within minutes, even before my profile was approved, I started getting likes and chat requests from young hot babes way younger than my requested age range. I thought wow, I must be a stud after all... but soon realized I was wasting my time being "catfished".

 

After less than 24 hours on Match, I'm so disgusted I'm seriously thinking of canceling my account. I've only had 2 or 3 real women look at my profile so far, and not a single response to the emails I've sent out so far.

 

Maybe I should try adding a few photos of myself shirtless to speed up the action??

 

I've read the OLD woes posted on LS... but I somehow thought it work differently for me. How long should I give it before calling it quits? Is there anything I can do to stop the "catfishing" I'm constantly getting?

 

I did OLD on and off for two years, and hated every minute. I had very few matches, and the women I dated were gals I wouldn't have considered in real life. Half the women doing OLD are unattractive and the other half are just looking for attention with no real interest in relationships. It's also incredibly time consuming. It takes days of messages just to get a phone number. I'd rather be dateless than go back to that.

[LoveMachine67]

I did OLD on and off for two years, and hated every minute. I had very few matches, and the women I dated were gals I wouldn't have considered in real life. Half the women doing OLD are unattractive and the other half are just looking for attention with no real interest in relationships. It's also incredibly time consuming. It takes days of messages just to get a phone number. I'd rather be dateless than go back to that.

 

Oberkeat, as has been suggested here, I'm going to try it out for 6 months or so. I know that as a man, I face an uphill battle.

 

With my career commitments, I have zero social circles to take advantage of in meeting women. This is my just my latest attempt to at least get my face out there. Thanks for your feedback!

[oberkeat]

Another thing is, I was often unable to break the initial awkwardness of meeting a total stranger after briefly chatting online. The whole thing just didn't work for me.

[LoveMachine67]

Another thing is, I was often unable to break the initial awkwardness of meeting a total stranger after briefly chatting online. The whole thing just didn't work for me.

 

 

This is a serious concern for me too, with my personality. But I can usually over come the awkwardness fairly quickly.

 

So what's your current alternative to OLD? Have you met anyone yet?

[barcode88]

So how do guys know the difference between a real woman who has messaged you and a spammer who has messaged you?

 

Maybe it's my age but typically if a woman messages me, they're usually less desirable than the women I date... So it's not a huge deal.

 

I usually read profiles and send messages, very seldom do I receive or respond to messages. It's easy to tell if a match profile is a spammer, it'll be short, only 1-2 pictures, usually asks you to email them in their profile or something.

 

 

I did OLD on and off for two years, and hated every minute. I had very few matches, and the women I dated were gals I wouldn't have considered in real life. Half the women doing OLD are unattractive and the other half are just looking for attention with no real interest in relationships. It's also incredibly time consuming. It takes days of messages just to get a phone number. I'd rather be dateless than go back to that.

 

This is true for free sites, but pay sites are a lot more reliable in my experience. People are serious when they have to pay money. If it takes days to get a number you aren't moving fast enough. Although some women only respond once a day so it CAN take 3 days sometimes. I get numbers in 24 hours usually.

Edited May 31, 2015 by barcode88

[LoveMachine67]

Maybe it's my age but typically if a woman messages me, they're usually less desirable than the women I date... So it's not a huge deal.

 

I usually read profiles and send messages, very seldom do I receive or respond to messages. It's easy to tell if a match profile is a spammer, it'll be short, only 1-2 pictures, usually asks you to email them in their profile or something.

 

 

BarCode, the age thing occurred to me this morning. The catfish have bombarded my profile nonstop, I am 48 y/o. I awoke this morning to over 40 winks and flirts from catfishing.

 

I did however get one legit local profile view..

[Popsicle]

BarCode, the age thing occurred to me this morning. The catfish have bombarded my profile nonstop, I am 48 y/o. I awoke this morning to over 40 winks and flirts from catfishing.

 

I did however get one legit local profile view..

 

The spamming will slow down. You're new so it's heavy.