AVarma Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'd like to see some survey on this to know how bad/not so bad it is. There was a match.com survey a while back in which 51% of women said they wouldn't date a virgin. I think only 33% of men said they wouldn't date a virgin. I'm not sure how reliable the survey is but it seems to be the only one out there. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 There was a match.com survey a while back in which 51% of women said they wouldn't date a virgin. I think only 33% of men said they wouldn't date a virgin. I'm not sure how reliable the survey is but it seems to be the only one out there. Well that survey was probably done by people in the hundreds maybe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brapting Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Op here... Want to say thank you again to everyone that has posted. Been reading it all. Personally I have not made a massive amount of progress with the whole thing. I have kind of realized that there is not a huge amount I can do while I am living with my parents and doing a job that I don't enjoy. That is not the person I want to be (felt this for a long time) and the whole situation really stifles me. I have applied for an apprenticeship. It pays less that my current wage, but it something that I actually enjoy (and am good at), it comes with a qualification with good career prospects. If I get it, I plan on moving so I can have my own place too. It will be hard, but I think the independence and freedom that it will bring will be really refreshing. I just hope I get it. I know that it is not just virginity that is the problem. I have really bad self esteem and anxiety issues and I think the years of drug use messed me up more that I ever realized. You get into a habit putting things...everything off, so that you can get high. Socializing, developing interests and hobbies, working on yourself...everything. This pattern of avoidance doesn't just disappear because you quit. I don't really have any friends or avenues to meet people at the moment and I am not really sure where to start. It is like starting from scratch. The thing with my friend disowning me really deeply effected me a lot. People have said that he is not worth my time if he thinks like that, but he was my closest friend and I had known him for a long time. For years I had kept up a 'public' dishonest face...misleading and being evasive about my romantic past. In that moment, I just couldn't be bothered to lie about it anymore...I had had enough. For him to react the way that he did, almost made me feel like I should have kept on lying...kept up the pretense. Like if I had been honest from the start...he would have had wanted nothing to do with me...and that hurts. Since then, I have felt less inclined to put on a 'public' pretense. I cant be bothered with that. It feels easier to avoid situations where the question could be asked. I do feel more grounded now. Depressed...but grounded. I have looked into PUA techniques, but it all seems so fake and coarse. I am not saying I want to advertise my virginity to women...but I don't want to be one of these faker/bullshi$$ers. I am tired of misleading and lying about it, so I am more inclined towards developing a thick skin and thinking that if people don't like it, they can jog on. P.S. I am not using a hooker. That seems pretty low to me. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 What is your career and finances like OP? Are you college educated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brapting Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 What is your career and finances like OP? Are you college educated? I did odd jobs until I was 25. Studied throughout and I have an undergrad and postgrad degree (Masters). Then went abroad and got a bottom rung Civil Servants job after. Been there a year and a half. Pays 15 grand a year (or 24 thousand dollars)...so not great. Really I want to build a career focused on PR. The apprenticeship pays less than my current job, but it is a way in and it comes with a qualification. I would expect to make more in the next job after this. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 There was a match.com survey a while back in which 51% of women said they wouldn't date a virgin. I think only 33% of men said they wouldn't date a virgin. I'm not sure how reliable the survey is but it seems to be the only one out there. Not very encouraging. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brapting Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Not very encouraging. Still 50 per cent I suppose. If the survey is representative, which it probably isn't, it still suggests that out of every two women, one will not have an issue with virginity. That is if it is even declared (and as posters have pointed out...it may not even come up). Link to post Share on other sites
PikaPika Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I am a female, but I waited until I was 22 to have sex. I felt bad about it, and I lied to the man that I lost my virginity to(until I couldn't lie anymore). I wish I would have done things differently and not rushed into that, because I was only with him because I was a virgin. Having sex with him lead to a lot of depression, and made it hard for me to get in other relationships. Just wait until you find the right person, and don't worry about what others think or let them pressure you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ApexTitanium Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I lost mine when I was 18 to my first gf. Took hers also. I havent had sex in 6 months, and its just from lack of trying. Im not the "ONS" type of guy....I need that emotional connection. Weird coming from a dude right? Being a virgin doesn't really matter these days. You dont have to tell them either if you dont want to. If you do, it shouldnt bother then as long as you arent horrible at it. Honestly with out many "videos" there are out there it'd be hard to not be atleast somewhat good and know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 There was a match.com survey a while back in which 51% of women said they wouldn't date a virgin. I think only 33% of men said they wouldn't date a virgin. I'm not sure how reliable the survey is but it seems to be the only one out there. 51% that's not too bad and better than I expected. I guess that survey encompassed women in their teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. I'm sure the younger women when they answer that survey will be thinking of a guy around their age, so to them it wont have such a negative stigma then it would for the women around 30. For a virgin man or woman in their late 20s up I guess they would like to see the response of their age bracket to dampen their insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 51% that's not too bad and better than I expected. I guess that survey encompassed women in their teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. I'm sure the younger women when they answer that survey will be thinking of a guy around their age, so to them it wont have such a negative stigma then it would for the women around 30. For a virgin man or woman in their late 20s up I guess they would like to see the response of their age bracket to dampen their insecurity. Really? The survey actually discouraged me a bit. 51% means a majority of women don't want to date a virgin. It's not very encouraging. Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I don't think that you being a virgin is the problem. The problem is how you see yourself. He sees himself as a virgin, because he is. Sexual intercourse is necessary to make people happy, since we are biological organisms that only exist due to sexual intercourse. OP, you need to get laid. It's not 100% your fault that you haven't been laid, but it IS in your control. EDIT: And yes you can lie about not being a virgin. It's not a biggie. Link to post Share on other sites
E-Squared Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I want to give some input to this discussion, and I have been there many times. I am turning 29 next month and I still have yet to lay the pipe. I remember one of my best friends had given me lots of $#!+ for not being in a relationship or going out and meeting some strange wool on a regular basis, like he claimed to have done. First off, he claimed that he was a man-whore who has a rather high count and I don't even know why it mattered to him that I was always single or something. Hell, even when I "dated" this one girl a long time ago for only a couple of weeks (I put in quotes because I didn't actually date her; This girl liked me and asked me out, and I only went with it because at the time, I was depressed, lonely and bitter, so I thought that a girl who liked me would be someone I'd like, not to mention that I thought it was my ticket to getting lucky). He gave me some crap about how I just let her leave me like that, but I was not into her. I guess it's true about what some people have said about that old Snoop Dogg song, "It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none." That's just what the song says, and I think that is the reason why men always have to give their friends crap for not dating often or having sex. One thing that I will say is that I utterly DETEST being asked if I am a virgin. I remember one example of this was this one girl who I met at a festival and she was someone who I checked out. She noticed that I acted all shy and stuff, but I gained her contact info. Later on, she assumed I was a virgin because of how I acted, and I will say that when she asked me the dreaded question, I immediately got defensive with her. Now I am talking to some girl right now who is only a few years older than I am, but she said that she doesn't have a problem with it. Hell, even when she asked me a question related to sex, she sort of knew because I tried to "pass" that question, by saying "I would rather not talk about it." She said she figured it out even before she asked. I feel left out because it's hard to find a woman at my age now. Every time I gain interest in a woman, it turns out she is married, engaged or with someone, not to mention has children. I feel like the older I get, the more anxious I get. I somehow wonder if I should have a female friend do me a favor, even though I fear that it may kill the friendship, and sometimes I wonder if I should just save money for a hooker or escort. I have dating experience. Sure, the longest relationship I was in last for only two months, and most of the other women were in the "talking" stages. I have kissed women before. I have felt breasts before. I have even SEEN breasts before. I have never reached a point where both parties, including myself, got naked. The last time I have been on a date was a year ago, and me and this girl liked each other a lot. However, the girl had issues and she cut me loose. We never really made anything official, either. I have not been on a date all year, but I am willing to try contacting someone who I have not talked to in a while to see what is up, but I am not getting any hopes up. I even try POF, but the girls on there never respond to my messages. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 There a virgin epidemic problem in Japan, Google it Link to post Share on other sites
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