This feels like a power play

[oldshirt]

The way I see it, all women will want to get to know a guy and will want to have an established rapport with them and feel safe and comfortable with them.

 

Every single woman I have ever had sex with since I lost my virginity at 17 until today at 51 has been this way and has followed that same pattern...no exceptions, not a single one.

 

The pattern and the context between the first hello until the first downstroke has been the same. What has been the variable is the length of time between hello and when the clothes hit the floor.

 

The shortest has been a few times that were less than an hour and the longest has been several months of steady dating.

 

In all of those instances each woman would say the same thing - that they only have sex with men that they know and like and have established a trust and rapport with. Some took months to reach that point (at least they did with me ) and some took about 45 minutes (at least they did with me)

 

My point is, when someone says they need to get to know someone and develop a rapport and trust with them, the time component only has relevance to them and the person they are interacting with at that moment in time.

 

For most people we encounter, it will neverhappen. For some it will take weeks or months, and yet for some it will only take minutes.

 

Both men and women have that same warm up period and both need the same criteria of attraction, rapport and trust/comfort to be met. The content is the same. It's just the matter of degrees and timelines that are typically different.

 

Compared as two groups, men typically need less time and less degree of comfort than women but there are certainly exceptions to both.

 

The challenge of both genders is finding compatible people with the same temperaments and same time requirements.

[spiderowl]

.....and also the vast majority of normal men are not lying or manipulating when they say they are looking for or open to a relationship. It's simply that they are going to want to establish that a woman has A & C with them before they devote months of getting to know them and solidifying the R.

 

It's a fine balance between establishing that chemistry exists vs rushing things or coming off looking like a playa'.

 

Pretty much all adult men have been burned by spending months courting a woman and being the "nice guy" only to find there is no real attraction.

 

Many even find out after years of marriage.

 

I see what you mean here but ultimately all these guys are doing is filtering to get the women who will sleep with them quick. They aren't looking for a relationship because if they were, they wouldn't be so eager to dismiss the women who believe there needs to be a real connection not just sexual chemistry.

[spiderowl]

Do other women really like guys they don't know telling them they are getting aroused while chatting to them online? I find that hard to believe, unless they are a prostitute or seeking a passport. It seems to be just plain bad manners that a guy should say something like that and nothing to do with 'establishing chemistry'.