What makes a man creepy?

[xxoo]

I understand the need to enlist help. Heck, I've been that help quite a few times. Why the need to brand the man as a creep with your friends though? For the purposes of this question, consider the man as an innocuous creep (didn't invade personal space, didn't approach you, just looked "creepy" from a distance).

 

Because it's the word that best expressed my impression.

 

If someone looks creepy from a distance, he would have to be doing something odd and unnerving.

[Under The Radar]

Women 1,000,000: guys 3.

 

These were very accurate explanations of what it means to be a creep.

 

Guys: There is subtlety and a back and forth interaction involved in gauging if a woman will be interested.

 

From reading the accounts of creepy behavior, it seems that when guys just plow thier way through without sensing what the woman is feeling, or just stare in a weird way saying nothing, that's what sets off their creep radar.

 

To get in under the radar, make the interaction a 2 way street.

 

Actually, *I* am Under.The.Radar ...... don't drag me back into this mess

[loveweary11]

This is very good advice for men who are being labeled as creeps when approaching women. What do you suggest for men who aren't even approaching these women but are still being labeled as creeps?

 

Ok. I'll bite.

 

I think it's easier to show you than to explain it.

 

When I think of a freaky weirdo that would have everyone with a vaj running for the hills, I think of several characters Steve Buscemi plays.

 

Here are his characters. All creeps without ever even hearing them speak or interacting with them. Take a good look at these pics...

 

http://thecomicscomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/batmansnl-585x390.jpg

 

http://brianorndorf.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ee7b6428833014e891bbe82970d-500wi

 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2vj2XIcm1qzvhbco1_500.jpg

 

 

 

 

Now... let's take a look at the exact same guy, when he's not playing a creep. Still not the most handsome guy of the bunch, buy not a weirdo/creep that would freak women out.

 

http://cdn.filmschoolrejects.com/images/airheadslist.jpg

 

http://thedissolutefox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/600full-steve-buscemi.jpg

 

http://a4.files.xojane.com/image/upload/c_fit,cs_srgb,dpr_1.0,q_80,w_620/MTI0ODY2NDM2NjM1MDk1MDEw.jpg

 

 

How to not be labeled a creep by sight alone?

 

Look more like the second set of pictures of Steve Buscemi and less like the first.

[johndoe2]

So tell us about it!

Did you get arrested or attacked?

Being treated like a 'monster' as you said there is pretty drastic! It's very dramatic wording.

And yes of course I would have empathy for that if you had done nothing.

What happened exactly?

Let me ask you, would a woman need to be arrested or attacked to be justifiably upset for being called a 'slut' for something incidental like how she dressed?

 

You have to appreciate the irony of telling me, on one hand, that being labelled a creep is nothing, while you yourself trying to convince me of the horrors of being woman subjected to.. awkward glances? Some molehills are molehills and others are mountains I guess?

 

I still can't believe some people can't see how 'creep' is often used to prejudge some men without good reason.

[GemmaUK]

Let me ask you, would a woman need to be arrested or attacked to be justifiably upset for being called a 'slut' for something incidental like how she dressed?

 

You have to appreciate the irony of telling me, on one hand, that being labelled a creep is nothing, while you yourself trying to convince me of the horrors of being woman subjected to.. awkward glances? Some molehills are molehills and others are mountains I guess?

 

I still can't believe some people can't see how 'creep' is often used to prejudge some men without good reason.

 

I have been attacked (physically) actually in the past for how I was dressed on a fancy dress night out but I wouldn't call that being treated like a monster. That would be a huge exaggeration.

Yes I was upset. It was unpleasant but luckily guys who knew me were about and helped me out.

Did I do anything about it - yep. I won't wear that same combo again.

The man in question got fired for other reasons but we never saw him at work again.

 

Grow up John..take 'some' responsibility for your own actions and behaviour.

It's massively unattractive when any man or woman doesn't and blames the opposite gender.

 

So, again, what was your story? What happened that labelled you a monster?

I want to see your side of things. I want to empathise but if you give no info except avoid the question then what should I do? Assume you were just being a creep?

 

ETA: I never said being labelled a creep was nothing. You imagined that part. It was in none of my posts.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I know this one guy in our social circle, he has a major reputation of being a creep. In fact, I had talked to a couple of women from the events that know this guy and was brought up in casual conversation.

 

One of them claimed that when she went to run an errand for her boss, some kind of permit run, this guy that was also waiting in the room to be called up next. He kept just staring at her creepily and tried to strike up a conversation with her. She felt that a permit office just isn't a place to pick up women. LOL He asked for her #, she gave it to him just to get him off his back. Later he friend requested her on Facebook because they actually have quite a few mutual friends.

 

However, even though their experiences with the guy had been a creepy one, they did deem him harmless.

[johndoe2]

I have been attacked (physically) actually in the past for how I was dressed on a fancy dress night out but I wouldn't call that being treated like a monster. That would be a huge exaggeration.

Yes I was upset. It was unpleasant but luckily guys who knew me were about and helped me out.

Did I do anything about it - yep. I won't wear that same combo again.

The man in question got fired for other reasons but we never saw him at work again.

Well people rarely attack monsters because they're afraid of them. Different class of situations. A friend of mine hit me in the head with a garden how once, I would say in that situation he was the one who was the 'monster.' But I don't treat everyone who looks like him like they're about to attack me with gardening equipment.

 

Grow up John..take 'some' responsibility for your own actions and behaviour.

It's massively unattractive when any man or woman doesn't and blames the opposite gender.

 

So, again, what was your story? What happened that labelled you a monster?

I want to see your side of things. I want to empathise but if you give no info except avoid the question then what should I do? Assume you were just being a creep?

On a few occasions, I've heard girls call me a creep after the most innocuous conversations at bars (I have better hearing than most people); no invasion of personal space, no staring; generally I'm the opposite, I habitually don't hold eye contact very long. Hell, I never say anything sexual. Without even asking them out or anything, just small talk. There are the alsocontemptuous or fearful glares that make one feel welcome.

 

And people talk, and now I have to wonder if at some bar or other I have a reputation as 'that weird guy who tried to talk to so and so.'

Grow up John..take 'some' responsibility for your own actions and behaviour.

It's massively unattractive when any man or woman doesn't and blames the opposite gender.

Take responsibility for what? What on earth am I even doing? I guess I should just be more understanding of the idea that I have to jump through hoops I can't even see to prove I'm not Gary Ridgeway.

 

The idea that I am going to spend the rest of my life alone because I can't internalize some hyper-specific algorithm for 'body language' and this leaves me irredeemably 'creepy.' bothers me, considerably. Maybe I'll have to live with it, but I'm not going to acknowledge it's necessity. It's like never getting a job because at every interview the employer bases his hiring decision on whether you can beat him at some obscure foreign board game.

 

I used this analogy elsewhere: It's like learning to speak Chinese without an accent when you're older than a toddler. Well, having not had a particularly social childhood, and now if I can never, as an adult, quite internalize the mannerisms of a 'normal person', then what? I'll always just be a guy who's 'a little off.' No real reason or anything but just 'a little off' and my fate is sealed because of that? Well, maybe that's the case and I will have to live with it, but not much of an incentive to empathize with people who purport to be afraid of me though I'm probably the least harmful person in the room.

 

And btw, most women are probably bigger than me. I'm only 5'5. Anyone who's physically intimidated by me may as well run for the hills every time they see a large dog.

[johndoe2]

However, even though their experiences with the guy had been a creepy one, they did deem him harmless.

Surely, that's only because they haven't checked his basement for dismembered corpses. Now, depending on how his feet were pointed last time you were with him, that may be probably cause for a search warrant.

 

Probably not the right choice of emoticon. I don't know how to use those things.

[E-Squared]

I am no stranger to being looked at as a creep, although most of the examples were from my middle and high school days, and very few after, like in the earlier years in college. However, most of the examples were misunderstandings, and I will say that I was apologetic to the women and owned up to my own mistakes.

 

However, my intentions are by no means creepy. I am just a guy who just wanted to talk to someone and get to know them, but at the time I was just really shy and socially awkward.

 

I am still somewhat socially awkward, but I am also self-aware of my own actions. If someone were to tell me of my wrongdoings, I would not argue with them and admit my own errors.

 

One thing I will say that I have tried chatting up a girl who works where I work, but in a different department than mine, and I was able to see that she wasn't really interested in talking to me. She gave me some short answers, and that was when I realized "Okay, this was a waste of time." So I walked away, and didn't attempt to try talking to her again.

 

However, while I have my awkward moments, I know where to draw the line. I see attractive women everywhere and I have dirty thoughts about some women. I don't share my thoughts with people, and I try not to be too obvious. Now for example, if I see a well-endowed woman in public wearing a low-cut top, I will notice and maybe glance a bit, but I am not going to stare at her chest. That is just disrespectful. Plus, there are also those comments from guys who say stuff like "Ooh yeah, you're looking good." That is also kind of disrespectful, unless I'm dating the girl and joking with her.

[preraph]

Ok. I'll bite.

 

I think it's easier to show you than to explain it.

 

When I think of a freaky weirdo that would have everyone with a vaj running for the hills, I think of several characters Steve Buscemi plays.

 

Here are his characters. All creeps without ever even hearing them speak or interacting with them. Take a good look at these pics...

 

http://thecomicscomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/batmansnl-585x390.jpg

 

http://brianorndorf.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ee7b6428833014e891bbe82970d-500wi

 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2vj2XIcm1qzvhbco1_500.jpg

 

 

 

 

Now... let's take a look at the exact same guy, when he's not playing a creep. Still not the most handsome guy of the bunch, buy not a weirdo/creep that would freak women out.

 

http://cdn.filmschoolrejects.com/images/airheadslist.jpg

 

http://thedissolutefox.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/600full-steve-buscemi.jpg

 

http://a4.files.xojane.com/image/upload/c_fit,cs_srgb,dpr_1.0,q_80,w_620/MTI0ODY2NDM2NjM1MDk1MDEw.jpg

 

 

How to not be labeled a creep by sight alone?

 

Look more like the second set of pictures of Steve Buscemi and less like the first.

 

Of course, John Waters is openly gay...and quite funny. And funny is rarely ominous.

 

Who I find really, really creepy, even in interviews is Quintin Tarantino, and I don't like his films either.

[phineas]

Funny; if a white person does the same thing regarding black people, it's called bigotry.

 

son you just went off the reservation.

[Mrlonelyone]

This is simple: make eye contact. Smile.

 

If she returns the eye contact and smile, approach. If she doesn't, she's sending a message with body language and an approach is ignoring her signs.

 

Better yet, meet women in dynamic, social settings where someone will introduce you!

 

Anndd you missed the problem. The guys on here complaining get labeled creepey before they ever even look at these women.

 

There are a preponderance , a slim majority of young womenwho will label a guy good or bad based only on their level of attraction.

 

Tell me you have never told a friend her beau was a scumbag but she could not see it because he was hawt. The creep phenomena is the flip side of that. The guy could be reading to blind kids with cancer but if he's not hawt he's a creep.

 

It is this emotionally immature use of the word they object to.

[preraph]

I definitely got creeped on, and it was someone of average looks. I trusted him because he knew a lot of guys within my circle and I was on the gossip grapevine and heard nothing bad about him either before or after the incident. He stalked me (this was when I was in my 20s) at home and at work, and I didn't have enough sense to realize it back then. I was new in town and just assumed he knew someone in my small apartment building when I saw him in the hall. The dirty phone calls to my retail job could have been directed at any number of women. I was used to seeing him out at a certain music bar. I took him home one night and his personality changed as soon as the door was shut. It was very scary. He would fall into the category of rapists who then pretend you're in a relationship. He had a script in his head and once the door was closed, he started trying to play it out and it made no sense and he blocked the door.

 

It was a bad night.

[phineas]

Nevermind. Don't want to read about how I must be lying when I feared for my safety.

 

so dramatic.

did you crap yourself?

Did you call the police?

Did you file a complaint?

 

what exactly did you do about this man that made you fear for your life to ensure he didn't make other women fear for their lives?

[xxoo]

Tell me you have never told a friend her beau was a scumbag but she could not see it because he was hawt. .

 

No, I've never seen that.

 

I've had friends date scumbags, but they weren't particularly hot. Yes, the women were hot for them, and "in love", but that doesn't mean the guys were actually more physically attractive than another guy who is giving off creepy vibes. These are two completely different dysfunctions.

[loveweary11]

Of course, John Waters is openly gay...and quite funny. And funny is rarely ominous.

 

Who I find really, really creepy, even in interviews is Quintin Tarantino, and I don't like his films either.

 

What????

 

 

Guess you read absolutely nothing of my post and i think I pretty much nailed why some guys are labeled creeps from afar, as well as how they can improve.

 

The post had different pictures of Steve Buscemi in it. No idea who that guy you are talking about is.

 

In any case, no reaction from the guys because it was the correct answer: do some work.

 

Apparently, complaining is all they know how to do.

 

Creep Level: Expert

[fireflywy]

What makes a man creepy?

 

Well, if you look at the window at some random time and he waves back at you for starters. lol

[Mrlonelyone]

No, I've never seen that.

 

I've had friends date scumbags, but they weren't particularly hot. Yes, the women were hot for them, and "in love", but that doesn't mean the guys were actually more physically attractive than another guy who is giving off creepy vibes. These are two completely different dysfunctions.

 

So you have seen it. The men were hot to your friend so your friend could not see the really bad scumbag they were dating.

 

Just flip that on it's head. IF the men were not hot to your friends so they saw those men as only bad ie. creepy.

 

That is literally all these guys are describing.

[jen1447]

Today I saw a very hot woman be very nice to a guy who was not at all hot and appeared to have some special needs type challenges. He was working at a big store collecting carts, she was walking to her car, he said hello to her at a distance of 50 feet or so, and she enthusiastically said hello back. It sounded like they knew each other. There was no auto-creep detection involved. He was maybe 50s, she was maybe 30s. He didn't do anything creepy and she didn't run away.

 

One off or anecdotal? Sure, but it was nonetheless significant to me in terms of invalidating what seems to be the 'universal auto creep' theory.

[phineas]

Today I saw a very hot woman be very nice to a guy who was not at all hot and appeared to have some special needs type challenges. He was working at a big store collecting carts, she was walking to her car, he said hello to her at a distance of 50 feet or so, and she enthusiastically said hello back. It sounded like they knew each other. There was no auto-creep detection involved. He was maybe 50s, she was maybe 30s. He didn't do anything creepy and she didn't run away.

 

One off or anecdotal? Sure, but it was nonetheless significant to me in terms of invalidating what seems to be the 'universal auto creep' theory.

 

Black men have above average penises.

Just because one hung like a chap-stick walks into the locker room it doesn't mean black men no longer have above average penises.

It just means that one black man was taking a cold shower.

[johndoe2]

Creep Level: Expert

Wow, I'm impressed you managed to reach that creep level. Let us know when you get to 'veteran creep.'

[Shining One]

The post had different pictures of Steve Buscemi in it. No idea who that guy you are talking about is.

 

In any case, no reaction from the guys because it was the correct answer: do some work.

Actually, your post somewhat proves the point a lot of people are trying to make: Appearance (as opposed to actions) are sufficient to get a man labeled as a creep.

[lino]

So you have seen it. The men were hot to your friend so your friend could not see the really bad scumbag they were dating.

 

Just flip that on it's head. IF the men were not hot to your friends so they saw those men as only bad ie. creepy.

 

That is literally all these guys are describing.

 

End of discussion.

[xxoo]

So you have seen it. The men were hot to your friend so your friend could not see the really bad scumbag they were dating.

 

Just flip that on it's head. IF the men were not hot to your friends so they saw those men as only bad ie. creepy.

 

That is literally all these guys are describing.

 

If they welcome the interaction, of course it isn't creepy.

 

Not hot guys aren't automatically creepy. And hot guys arent automatically not creepy. Behavior makes the difference.

[preraph]

^ Yes, because we all know all hot men are scumbags, or at least isn't it pretty to think so. We're not talking about men of all annoyances. We're only talking about creepy people here. There are plenty of crap men and women who are, nonetheless, not of the creepy variety.