What makes a man creepy?

[SearchingForMyself]

I'm pretty sure if Tom Brady grabbed a ransom woman's butt shed be flattered.

 

If Todd From Accounting did the same it would be creepy. Honestly, most of the woman's responses are just anecdotal incidences that ignore the general rule.

 

Creepy to most women=unattractive. Let's not beat around the bush here.

[SearchingForMyself]

One thing that annoys me is that most women are so ashamed of how superficial they really are.

[johndoe2]

The creep-alarm is a protective mechanism, and if you ever have a daughter, you'll hope that she develops it. Maybe those with the finer-tuned creep alarm didn't fall for Bundy's tricks, or weren't charmed by Scott Peterson's advances, or any married man's advances, for that matter.

 

Some women may have over-tuned creep alarms that go off when a man is just socially awkward, but the point is to detect the possibility of danger, not be 100% accurate. And if anything, my dad wanted my creep alarm to be stronger and louder than it was as a too "nice" young woman.

On can detect the possibility of danger by, like, rationally deducing the likelihood of danger. Feelings and instincts are only sometimes accurate reflections of reality. People also often use 'instincts' and 'intuition' to rationalized preconceived notions they have about types of people unfortunately.

[johndoe2]

One thing that annoys me is that most women are so ashamed of how superficial they really are.

 

/sarc I take it?

[xxoo]

On can detect the possibility of danger by, like, rationally deducing the likelihood of danger. Feelings and instincts are only sometimes accurate reflections of reality. People also often use 'instincts' and 'intuition' to rationalized preconceived notions they have about types of people unfortunately.

 

Again, if you had a daughter, you might feel differently and want her to honor her instincts when it comes to safety.

[GorillaTheater]

Again, if you had a daughter, you might feel differently and want her to honor her instincts when it comes to safety.

 

I can almost guarantee it.

 

Better that some schlub gets his feelings hurt than my daughters find themselves in a threatening situation.

[xxoo]

I'm pretty sure if Tom Brady grabbed a ransom woman's butt shed be flattered.

 

If Todd From Accounting did the same it would be creepy. Honestly, most of the woman's responses are just anecdotal incidences that ignore the general rule.

 

Creepy to most women=unattractive. Let's not beat around the bush here.

 

I've had multiple experiences with physically attractive creepy men. I'm fairly attractive, so it isn't rare for me to get attention from attractive men (positive and negative). I can discern the normal/fun/flirty from the creepy.

[bentleychic]

Being unattractive is the creepiest thing a man can do to a woman.

hahaha Yes, pretty much!

 

A new guy interest and I were talking and he said he's got a stalker. I told him I've had some in the past and some friends and I talked and we realized we refer to them as stalkers if we're not attracted to them. If we're attracted and there's chemistry, we're flattered and it's "Oh he's so attentive to me, how awesome is he?!" haha New guy agrees. lol

 

Obviously that's not the ONLY thing that makes a guy creepy and attractive guys can be creepy as well. I have a guy at work that has SERIOUS personal space issues. I swear I could tell you every morning what he had for supper the night before based on his breath. OMG.

 

Also, continuing over and over to contact someone even though there's obviously no interest. Add to that making stupid suggestive jokes about sexual things. Showing up where she is on a regular basis is pretty creepy, too.

 

I've had all of the above. Will try to think of more. lol

Edited May 19, 2015 by bentleychic

[Shining One]

Again, if you had a daughter, you might feel differently and want her to honor her instincts when it comes to safety.

While I agree with this sentiment, I would hope she would temper her instincts with logic. The fear response in women is frequently irrational. Examples: My girlfriend running to the other side of the house when she sees a spider, My adult niece refusing to walk under a lizard out of fear it will drop on her, My coworker being chased across the parking lot by a duck, My friend needing me to walk her to her car because it recently rained and there were frogs outside.

 

I get that if you're scared in a situation, you want to get yourself out of that situation. I have no problem with this. Labeling a guy a creep for some innocuous reason and advertising his "creepiness" to all of your friends and/or social media is uncalled for.

[bentleychic]

yup, not having the hots for a guy makes him a creepy stalker.

 

That was kind of tongue in cheek. The point was how stupid/silly it is that if someone we were interested in was giving us that attention, we'd be thrilled to be pursued like that. Remove attraction and it's like "Dang, I wish they'd stop stalking me!"

 

In this same convo, I asked the guy out and told him not to worry, I wouldn't ask him for his address (b/c his particular stalker got on his fb and started messaging his friends asking for his address. THAT is definitely stalker material, attractive or not, I think we can all agree! lol) and he replied that he'd gladly give it to me if I wanted it.

[GorillaTheater]

yah, so when a not attractive enough good guy approaches he's automatically a creep, but the hot guy with previous rape and burgalry convictions isn't cause he's hawt.

 

yah, because that's exactly what xxoo was saying.

 

Hell, I think MY creep radar is starting to ping.

[Haydn]

yah, because that's exactly what xxoo was saying.

 

Hell, I think MY creep radar is starting to ping.

 

Funny that, mine too.

[GorillaTheater]

how about the corrupt banksters? bank executives stealing out money.

 

They'll ride a greased rocket sled straight to Hell where they'll spend all eternity in a red-hot cauldron of boiling monkey urine.

[GorillaTheater]

now that's funny

 

That's why I'm such a hit with the broads instead of being taken for a creep.

[kaylan]

When I was fat I had women I knew call me "creepy" just for asking them out.

 

two yrs later when I was no longer fat, telling the exact same women to take off their pants after I pulled their boobs out while in my car at the bar parking lot? not creepy.

 

And after I never called them then ran into them and took them out to my car again?

Still not creepy. ROTFLMAO!

 

This exactly.

 

This thread is another example of why a man should pay attention to women's real life actions, and not what they say they react to.

 

Take that as you will ladies...but experience has shown me that women claim to find certain things attractive or unattractive...and then I dont see those words line up with their behavior when they end up screwing someone.

[xxoo]

yah, so when a not attractive enough good guy approaches he's automatically a creep, but the hot guy with previous rape and burgalry convictions isn't cause he's hawt.

 

I've only known one man who's been convicted of rape. He was (when I knew him) a tall, athletic, very good looking coworker of my husband. We were all young at the time, and we hung out together. He creeped me out even then, and I refused to be alone with him (he offered for me to come to his house and use his printer rather using the one at my university; I said no thank you and told my husband, "Hell, no!").

 

A few years later, he raped a woman, was arrested, convicted, and has served time. Thank you, instincts!

[Shining One]

Quoting myself from another thread:

I got labeled a creep for walking a woman to her car. She works in our building on a different floor and I don't know her. It was raining and she didn't have an umbrella. It was a 2 minute walk with no conversation (I was on a conference call on my headset). The next day, while smoking with our receptionist, this woman said: "It was pouring so bad last night. Some creep from your company had to walk me to my car."

Analyze this and explain the logic to me.

[preraph]

I'm pretty sure if Tom Brady grabbed a ransom woman's butt shed be flattered.

 

If Todd From Accounting did the same it would be creepy. Honestly, most of the woman's responses are just anecdotal incidences that ignore the general rule.

 

Creepy to most women=unattractive. Let's not beat around the bush here.

 

I wouldn't. I'm not at all impressed by him.

[xxoo]

Quoting myself from another thread:

 

Analyze this and explain the logic to me.

 

What logic? She felt uncomfortable. I would, too, but I would say, "no, thank you :)"

 

I would take an offered umbrella and drive it back to you, though.

[bentleychic]

Quoting myself from another thread:

 

Analyze this and explain the logic to me.

 

 

Explanation: She sounds like an ungrateful idiot that doesn't know the true meaning of creep.

[johndoe2]

Again, if you had a daughter, you might feel differently and want her to honor her instincts when it comes to safety.

 

I'm not talking about getting into a guy's shady white van parked around the corner. I'm talking about how one treats people in social situations. If you think that a woman talking to a guy or the measure of how much respect she accords him as a person is a life or death dilemma, then you are overprotective; father's instinct or not.

[xxoo]

I'm not talking about getting into a guy's shady white van parked around the corner. I'm talking about how one treats people in social situations. If you think that a woman talking to a guy or the measure of how much respect she accords him as a person is a life or death dilemma, then you are overprotective; father's instinct or not.

 

I regularly speak to all sorts of people. I'm "nice", and quite friendly

 

But when I get a creepy vibe off a man, then I am proactively keeping my distance in the future. Speaking to as many people as I do, I can discern what is normal friendly and what is "off". I trust my judgment.

[phineas]

Quoting myself from another thread:

 

Analyze this and explain the logic to me.

 

Next time let he should let the woman who didn't have an umbrella trudge through the rain so that she resembles a drowned rat by the time she gets to the car.

 

Then the next day the woman can mention the "creep" with the umbrella that didn't offer to share it with her & let her get soaked by the rain .

[johndoe2]

I regularly speak to all sorts of people. I'm "nice", and quite friendly

 

But when I get a creepy vibe off a man, then I am proactively keeping my distance in the future. Speaking to as many people as I do, I can discern what is normal friendly and what is "off". I trust my judgment.

And yet we still have yet to define the word 'creepy' beyond the level of some vague feelings which may or may not have any correlation with reality?

 

Vibes? What does that even mean? Vibes. How on earth does one control what 'vibes' one 'gives off? Please, pray tell, what is it? What do I do to not be 'creepy?' Clearly not being an actual problem isn't enough. How does one avoid making the subtle .7 degree turn of the head that I was unaware was the universal unofficial signal for 'hi, I'm a serial killer?' How can one be expected to follow a rule when the very people so adamant about the importance of that rule can't even say what it is in meaningful words?

[GemmaUK]

And yet we still have yet to define the word 'creepy' beyond the level of some vague feelings which may or may not have any correlation with reality?

 

Vibes? What does that even mean? Vibes. How on earth does one control what 'vibes' one 'gives off? Please, pray tell, what is it? What do I do to not be 'creepy?' Clearly not being an actual problem isn't enough. How does one avoid making the subtle .7 degree turn of the head that I was unaware was the universal unofficial signal for 'hi, I'm a serial killer?' How can one be expected to follow a rule when the very people so adamant about the importance of that rule can't even say what it is in meaningful words?

 

You could start by learning about body language.

This a great body language book by Joe Navarro, an ex FBI agent.

http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1432102165&sr=8-1&keywords=what+every+body+is+saying

 

Otherwise, not being a male, males just need to realise that especially with strangers a woman is not always going to feel totally comfortable. Certain mannerisms will solidify that feeling in her.

This can be said for all people you deal with though. Get it right with more people and know the signs when to approach and when not to and life becomes so much easier.

I know, I've learned this stuff and I'm a woman.

I've learned a heck of a lot about body language and have learned how to rectify little things that I was doing in order to not encroach on others or to come across as friendly as I actually felt towards someone.

I now have no issues making new friends or making people feel at ease and I used to be (and still can be sometimes) extremely shy. I have simply learned what behaviours I gave off that were shy and awkward and replaced them with friendly behaviours.

 

90% of communication is non-verbal.

 

For the record I do think 'some' women throw out the 'creep' word too randomly but having said that I've met so many actual creeps in my time on this earth to know that it's a real feeling and it doesn't go away once it's there and it should be listened to.