The GIGS got me...

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Well, she texted me a while ago and say they're coming to get her stuff. I thought I'd be relieved...instead I'm crying and feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest...again.

 

I'm not going to be here when she gets here. All the same, I want to see her so bad and on the same token I never want to see her again.

 

This sucks to an unimaginable degree. I am so confused, depressed and pissed off at myself for feeling this way. She's not worth this. No one is.

[lolablue17]

Hi

Why didn't I read this thread before?! I wanted to advise you to dump her stuff at her parents place anyway, without any notice. Why?

 

1. To use it as a leverage to boost you ego a little bit.

2. To make a theatrical gesture for yourself , for you to internalize the fact that it's over.

3. She called you a homebody? It Could be nice for you to control the final chord by showing her a presentation of "the opposite of a homebody" side of you.

 

If I were you I would cancel her visit. tell her she can't come and you will contact her later, and put her stuff at her parents. Be unpredictable. be unexplainable. I don't know but a stupid thing like that would have raised my mood by at least 50%

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Hi

Why didn't I read this thread before?! I wanted to advise you to dump her stuff at her parents place anyway, without any notice. Why?

 

1. To use it as a leverage to boost you ego a little bit.

2. To make a theatrical gesture for yourself , for you to internalize the fact that it's over.

3. She called you a homebody? It Could be nice for you to control the final chord by showing her a presentation of "the opposite of a homebody" side of you.

 

If I were you I would cancel her visit. tell her she can't come and you will contact her later, and put her stuff at her parents. Be unpredictable. be unexplainable. I don't know but a stupid thing like that would have raised my mood by at least 50%

 

I thought about cancelling, but to tell you the truth I just want her stuff GONE. The sooner it's gone I'll be able to fully initiate NC and get over this.

 

The funny thing about the "homebody" quote was that she was the exact same way when we met...it's one of the things that initially attracted me to her. Oh well...

 

I'm all for dramatic gestures, but in this case I'm willing to just let this play out and move on with my life (as unbearably slow as this may be happening).

[lolablue17]

I thought about cancelling, but to tell you the truth I just want her stuff GONE. The sooner it's gone I'll be able to fully initiate NC and get over this.

 

The funny thing about the "homebody" quote was that she was the exact same way when we met...it's one of the things that initially attracted me to her. Oh well...

 

I'm all for dramatic gestures, but in this case I'm willing to just let this play out and move on with my life (as unbearably slow as this may be happening).

 

Well, all i can say is that you are a better person than me :-)

 

I know exactly how you feel, and when i've been through that kind of pain, what helped a me the most is to feel "in control" and to be active rother than passive, almost no matter how.

 

And in cases i've managed to have the control even with an insignificant issue, It helped me so much? Yes, I'm stupid, i know, but that's what did actually helped me.

[SycamoreCircle]

A lot of lessons to be learned here. I dated someone 13 years my junior and something similar happened.

 

So...

 

-wash your hands of this; get someone else(a friend) to coordinate getting her stuff out. Have him communicate that her sh;t will be on the street otherwise.

 

-go hardcore NC. Delete, throw out everything associated with her. No more social media.

 

-grieve, heal, move on, date women closer to your age.

 

I'm sorry that this happened, but hopefully you can gain from the lessons learned. Maybe there are young women who would thrive at being a young committed partner, but it's a gamble.

[aloneinaz]

Hi

Why didn't I read this thread before?! I wanted to advise you to dump her stuff at her parents place anyway, without any notice. Why?

 

1. To use it as a leverage to boost you ego a little bit.

2. To make a theatrical gesture for yourself , for you to internalize the fact that it's over.

3. She called you a homebody? It Could be nice for you to control the final chord by showing her a presentation of "the opposite of a homebody" side of you.

 

If I were you I would cancel her visit. tell her she can't come and you will contact her later, and put her stuff at her parents. Be unpredictable. be unexplainable. I don't know but a stupid thing like that would have raised my mood by at least 50%

 

 

OP- I wish you would of listened to us when you first posted. Had you dumped her $hit at her parents right away, it would have made you feel better about the whole situation. What you did was let her decide when SHE was going to do this or that.. F-that. You're back in control now. Yes, she chose to end the RS but.. You can now control NEVER having anything to do w/her again.

 

Pls listen and block her number, and all social media. You vanishing and never contacting her again nor replying "if" she contacts you for something will knock that chip off her shoulder. Dumpers hate to be ignored and NOT feel like the ex is still crying over them.. Don't provide that to her..

 

I did that to my ex who dumped me. I vanished. She heard NOTHING from me. I was done. I met my now 20 month GF 3 months later. I had initially blocked my ex on FB but after 5 months, I un-blocked her for some fun. I knew she would spy on me. So, I started posting pics of me and my better looking than her new GF and leaving the pictures PUBLIC so she could see them. Yup, I was still angry and bitter but I felt like being a bit childish. So, 6 months after she dumped me, she came back and asked me to give her another chance. I said no thanks even though I still had feeling for her. I simply loved my new GF more and we had no drama unlike her.

 

Now, I hope my ex finds what's she looking for and is happy. I'm greatful she dumped me (since I didn't have the ball to at the time) as it allowed me to me my now GF!

[lolablue17]

Op, if you could give me your mail, I'll tell you a private story

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Op, if you could give me your mail, I'll tell you a private story

 

I would, but it appears I don't have access to PMs yet.

 

Actually, I've been feeling better and a bit more relieved since her stuff is gone. I do have a feeling she's going to try to contact me again soon. She'll be meeting a wall of silence, however.

 

I spent most of my life alone. I can do it again.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Well, this day was a bit rougher than I expected, but unlike before I'm determined to not let her control my emotions anymore. I'm sure she isn't sparing a thought for me, so I'm damn sure going to try to return the favor.

 

I'm not sure if anybody is even seeing this anymore, but it's kind of cathartic to post on here anyway.

[aloneinaz]

Well, this day was a bit rougher than I expected, but unlike before I'm determined to not let her control my emotions anymore. I'm sure she isn't sparing a thought for me, so I'm damn sure going to try to return the favor.

 

I'm not sure if anybody is even seeing this anymore, but it's kind of cathartic to post on here anyway.

 

Keep posting on your thread. Make it your journal or something. Trust me pal, the more you go NC and IGNORE any contact from her, the faster you'll feel better.

 

As soon as you think you can start dating again, go for it. It's good to get out with the opposite sex, even for casual drinks. I dated a month after a devastating break up. Many thought it was too soon but I didn't care. I was tired of being alone, by myself. I think it really helped me heal quicker and realize there were many attractive women interested in going out w/me.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Thanks for the encouraging words; they're definitely appreciated. I've thought about when I eventually feel like dating again. The problem is there's not too many places here in western oklahoma that are good for meeting new people. There's just not much here. Lol

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

So today I was...okay. I tried to keep myself busy at work and acted like nothing was bothering me. The worst part was after work when I had to go to the town she's now living in (the closest place to shop around here). The whole time I was in Walmart I had my head on a swivel watching out for her and the new guy because I've run into them there before. Needless to say I was a ball of nerves until I got out of town.

 

God this sucks.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Great. Earlier she texted me wanting more of her crap (which I already boxed up and plan to dump at her parent's as soon as it stops raining). Then she texted me again asking if everything's good. As if she really cared. Needless to say I didn't respond.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I think I've hit a milestone.

[Meli22]

Good for you!

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Well, that streak ended.

 

I just saw a pic on a friend's FB page of her and her "friend" holding hands while driving the car I frickin' co-signed for. The picture was called "So In Love".

 

I am SO close to breaking NC right now, but I know it won't solve anything. I just miss her so much despite all of this crap. Maybe I needed to see that picture...I don't know.

[towch]

Well, that streak ended.

 

I just saw a pic on a friend's FB page of her and her "friend" holding hands while driving the car I frickin' co-signed for. The picture was called "So In Love".

 

I am SO close to breaking NC right now, but I know it won't solve anything. I just miss her so much despite all of this crap. Maybe I needed to see that picture...I don't know.

 

Hey man you need to see this as ammunition to hate her and move on. easier said than done i know but i am somewhat in the same situation.

 

My Ex cheated on me, confused and told me she needed to be single and find/fix herself. I know the kind of person she but i choose to believe her. She told me that she is not seeing anyone lol.

 

Well i had access to her email because our comcast accounts are switched. point is i have to go to the email and get the bill to pay (i don't think she is aware anymore).

 

Anyways i go into the email and i see a Papa John's account created. The think is the account name is the guy's name i had my suspicions about. The question is why would he create an account with her email, i mean you just dont let a friend use your email. The order was personal and was delivery so they must have been together somewhere.

 

My heart started beating fast, i confess i almost cried but then i smiled, i felt some sort of relief. That the chains of hope i held until were broken, i could start moving on properly because in my heart i could now accept the loss plus she her for who she really is a liar, cheat, user. But it depends on personality, i am the type of guy that doesn't try to get a girl that is with someone no matter how i feel. I only mess with unattached girls.

 

What i saw set me free, because i still had hope that when she sorted herself out she will be back but i know better now. i know she wasn't finding herself but was giving herself fully to this other guy.

 

Dont get me wrong i still miss and love her but i got my closure. closure that i am not wanted or needed.

 

Think of what you saw as a double edged sword. Yes you got hurt but you can also use it to your advantage.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I think I was right yesterday when I said maybe I needed to see that picture. I cried my eyes out, felt numb and zombified most of the day and went to bed. Today, I feel like I've accepted that it's over more than I had before. I'm still sad but it's more of an annoyance than all-consuming.

 

P.S.: I finally deleted her phone number and text messages (which stretched back for YEARS) off of my phone. As of now no more contacts or reminders exist.

[lolablue17]

I think I was right yesterday when I said maybe I needed to see that picture. I cried my eyes out, felt numb and zombified most of the day and went to bed. Today, I feel like I've accepted that it's over more than I had before. I'm still sad but it's more of an annoyance than all-consuming.

 

P.S.: I finally deleted her phone number and text messages (which stretched back for YEARS) off of my phone. As of now no more contacts or reminders exist.

 

Just hang on. It's like an injury and it will pass. The less you see her, contact with her, the fastest you'll heal.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Dammit. I miss her so much and I don't know why. She doesn't deserve it. Today is looking to be a bad day.

[OK_computer]

what does GIGS mean?

 

sorry.

[CarrieT]

what does GIGS mean?

 

sorry.

 

Grass Is Greener Syndrome

[CarrieT]

Dammit. I miss her so much and I don't know why. She doesn't deserve it. Today is looking to be a bad day.

 

We are all still here for you. And it was a long relationship - don't expect the healing to be fast. It takes time...

 

Heck, the ending of a two-year relationship brought me to this sight in 2009. It took an additional two years to get over him! But, a few years later, I met someone *AND* got married; something I never thought I would do!

 

You will heal and love again!

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

We are all still here for you. And it was a long relationship - don't expect the healing to be fast. It takes time...

 

Heck, the ending of a two-year relationship brought me to this sight in 2009. It took an additional two years to get over him! But, a few years later, I met someone *AND* got married; something I never thought I would do!

 

You will heal and love again!

 

Thanks Carrie. The thing that's running through my mind is all the lies she fed and why she felt the need to do it. She swore they were just friends (which I didn'tbelieve for a second) and that she wanted to be free to do what she wanted, yet she moves in with this guy IMMEDIATELY and is doing the exact ssame things we did together. I know none of this matters...it's just the same ol crap that runs through a person's mind at this juncture of a breakup I guess. It's just beyond me how someone can throw away 5 years and act like it meant absolutely nothing. I'm just not wired that way.

[sober and dry]

Thanks Carrie. The thing that's running through my mind is all the lies she fed and why she felt the need to do it. She swore they were just friends (which I didn'tbelieve for a second) and that she wanted to be free to do what she wanted, yet she moves in with this guy IMMEDIATELY and is doing the exact ssame things we did together. I know none of this matters...it's just the same ol crap that runs through a person's mind at this juncture of a breakup I guess. It's just beyond me how someone can throw away 5 years and act like it meant absolutely nothing. I'm just not wired that way.

Oh how I feel you... That's very hard but you have to just accept what it's and move on.