Ex-Girlfriend Still haunts me a year later after break up :(

[Simon Phoenix]

Simon! What's up?

 

Chillin, haven't been on as much. But yeah, it sounds like you've made quite a bit of progress and I'd keep trucking forward. You might care about your ex, but she's broken up with you and used you for support/ego boost in a completely one-sided manner. While it's not her doing it this time, I wouldn't venture down the rabbit hole at all.

[ydb_xo]

wow, you are such a good guy and deserve someone who appreciates you and treats you good instead of using you as a crutch.

she will never learn until you get ghost for good.

its like she has you under her thumbs and she is obviously aware of that.

do yourself and her a favor and step out for good not only for your sanity but for her own good, girl needs to grow up.

[Latino4Lyfe]

Hey guys!

 

It's been a couple of months so I figured I'd check in and also provide a rather unexpected update.

 

To start off, as most have been following this thread, I have had quite a bit of a year with just myself alone so for an update...All is going very well with me. I just moved into the new house so getting everything settled . My job is going great since the promotion and I'm loving every moment of it! In addition, I'm also looking into possibly upgrading my car in the very near future, so doing my research and then seeing where it goes before I go for it . I am on a roll right now, and hope to keep the momentum going, nothing but positivity .

 

Now on to the unexpected update ...So last night, after a great day out with my friends and co workers I decided to have some alone time and have dinner with myself at a mexican restaurant. I was sitting alone in a booth eating my food and checking my phone to make plans for this week when suddenly I feel someone walk up and say my name...

 

I look up, my ex's mom and her cousin staring at me. Her mom with a beaming look on her face staring at me and the cousin with a "whatever, I wanna eat" look on his face. The cousin goes to sit at the booth they were assigned to them and Ex's mom sits across me for a few minutes to speak with me. The entire time, I was respectful but at the same time did not go deep in conversation or anything on my end.

 

She started off asking me how I'm doing and where I have been as she did not know anything that happened since the day my mother passed. I kept it general and let her know that I've been busy getting my life together and that I am in a very good place. I told her I just moved into a new house and she started getting teary eyed. "What (ex's name) did and missed out on" is what she said. I remained unaffected by that statement and just asked how she(the mom) was doing.

 

She started with herself and her husband that they were doing good and her youngest son starting high school and playing football and of course she brings up the ex...

 

Now, if you guys remember my last update, I had stated that I received a phone call from her mom asking if I knew where she was...Well here it is:

 

Apparently, Since that day my ex has not reached out to her mom or anyone from her family. It seems that my ex had an argument with her mom's husband and that same day bailed out and started dating her friend's 46 year old widow and moved in with him that same day. Back in November-December last year, her friend had passed away from illness and her husband was left alone. She basically abandoned her family, her two dogs(one of which I bought), and her stuff over a petty argument and move in and date someone that's possibly grieving and vulnerable.

 

Her mom was very visibly upset throughout the entire time she was sitting with me telling me all of this. The only thing I did was listen and tell her that I'm sorry all of this happened to her and that unfortunately this is a situation that I cannot get involved in. She made her choice.

 

Her mom understood, she then grabbed my hand and said that she is glad that I managed to get my life together throughout everything that's happened the past few years and to keep going and that if I ever need anything, her and her family(except my ex of course) have my back(don't worry I'm not going to reach out or anything). I told her thank you, gave her a hug and let her be on her way for her meal with her cousin.

 

After that encounter, honestly the only thing I felt was sadness for the mother and family to have to experience all of that. My ex has just completely lost it...But oh well.

 

After that, I finished my meal and my planning for this week and then just went back home without a care in the world on to the next day.

 

But yeah, any thoughts guys?

Edited August 29, 2016 by Latino4Lyfe

[staggerlee71]

Unfortunately, a few months later when she got another job(with the help of me updating her resume), she had begun dating some other guy and literally left me hanging at an asian restaurant for lunch in which we were meeting to help her prepare for the new job in favor of going out for drinks with this guy.

 

 

Actions!!!! not words!!!

[Simon Phoenix]

Hey guys!

 

It's been a couple of months so I figured I'd check in and also provide a rather unexpected update.

 

To start off, as most have been following this thread, I have had quite a bit of a year with just myself alone so for an update...All is going very well with me. I just moved into the new house so getting everything settled . My job is going great since the promotion and I'm loving every moment of it! In addition, I'm also looking into possibly upgrading my car in the very near future, so doing my research and then seeing where it goes before I go for it . I am on a roll right now, and hope to keep the momentum going, nothing but positivity .

 

Now on to the unexpected update ...So last night, after a great day out with my friends and co workers I decided to have some alone time and have dinner with myself at a mexican restaurant. I was sitting alone in a booth eating my food and checking my phone to make plans for this week when suddenly I feel someone walk up and say my name...

 

I look up, my ex's mom and her cousin staring at me. Her mom with a beaming look on her face staring at me and the cousin with a "whatever, I wanna eat" look on his face. The cousin goes to sit at the booth they were assigned to them and Ex's mom sits across me for a few minutes to speak with me. The entire time, I was respectful but at the same time did not go deep in conversation or anything on my end.

 

She started off asking me how I'm doing and where I have been as she did not know anything that happened since the day my mother passed. I kept it general and let her know that I've been busy getting my life together and that I am in a very good place. I told her I just moved into a new house and she started getting teary eyed. "What (ex's name) did and missed out on" is what she said. I remained unaffected by that statement and just asked how she(the mom) was doing.

 

She started with herself and her husband that they were doing good and her youngest son starting high school and playing football and of course she brings up the ex...

 

Now, if you guys remember my last update, I had stated that I received a phone call from her mom asking if I knew where she was...Well here it is:

 

Apparently, Since that day my ex has not reached out to her mom or anyone from her family. It seems that my ex had an argument with her mom's husband and that same day bailed out and started dating her friend's 46 year old widow and moved in with him that same day. Back in November-December last year, her friend had passed away from illness and her husband was left alone. She basically abandoned her family, her two dogs(one of which I bought), and her stuff over a petty argument and move in and date someone that's possibly grieving and vulnerable.

 

Her mom was very visibly upset throughout the entire time she was sitting with me telling me all of this. The only thing I did was listen and tell her that I'm sorry all of this happened to her and that unfortunately this is a situation that I cannot get involved in. She made her choice.

 

Her mom understood, she then grabbed my hand and said that she is glad that I managed to get my life together throughout everything that's happened the past few years and to keep going and that if I ever need anything, her and her family(except my ex of course) have my back(don't worry I'm not going to reach out or anything). I told her thank you, gave her a hug and let her be on her way for her meal with her cousin.

 

After that encounter, honestly the only thing I felt was sadness for the mother and family to have to experience all of that. My ex has just completely lost it...But oh well.

 

After that, I finished my meal and my planning for this week and then just went back home without a care in the world on to the next day.

 

But yeah, any thoughts guys?

 

What is there to think about? You ran into your ex's family, had a good conversation, and that's it. Nothing more to see here, other then to be glad that you aren't part of her drama like you used to be.

[Latino4Lyfe]

What is there to think about? You ran into your ex's family, had a good conversation, and that's it. Nothing more to see here, other then to be glad that you aren't part of her drama like you used to be.

 

What's up Simon? Yeah I get what your saying. The reason I asked on thoughts was mainly to get opinions on what my ex's actions towards her family and life recently. I know it's nothing to do with me and that I'm glad that my life is going well without her and nonsense but...I can't be the only one basically looking or listening in this case from the outside in and think "Damn this is some messed up sh** I'm hearing".

[Simon Phoenix]

What's up Simon? Yeah I get what your saying. The reason I asked on thoughts was mainly to get opinions on what my ex's actions towards her family and life recently. I know it's nothing to do with me and that I'm glad that my life is going well without her and nonsense but...I can't be the only one basically looking or listening in this case from the outside in and think "Damn this is some messed up sh** I'm hearing".

 

It's not important dude. Keep moving forward.

[Redhead14]

Hello everyone, this is my very first post to the forums, however I have been browsing on here for about 9 months now reading the stories from everybody and trying to cope. I figured it was time for me to post mine so here goes(I apologize if the post is long and thank you to everyone that actually reads it all lol). My ex and I were dating for a little over a year which unfortunately ended bad in January 2014. Overall we have known each other a little over 10 years. She has had sort of a bad past with alcohol, drugs, and infidelity/sex before I met up with her last year and started dating.

 

The entire year the relationship has been very hard a lot due to those negative habits that she has as unlike what she has been through, I do not use alcohol drugs and I am very loyal to the women I date no matter what. Throughout her time with me, I had noticed that she had begun to slowly change her life around in a more positive way a lot due to my positive way of life. Even her family gained full acceptance for me which from what I heard was a big surprise. However, there has been numerous cases in which the drugs, alcohol and former exes/sex buddies have gotten in the way and her habits overpowering the relationship. There were many times in which I tried to consult with her and try to help her, but she mainly just denies what she does or twists things around to think that she is okay or that I am the one with the issues. She is a very good girl and I do still want to spend the rest of my life with her and she does love me too but her habits and behavior have been too much. She broke up with me over the phone back in January 2014 over reasons that to this day make no sense whatsoever and two months later calls me up and basically "friend zones" me.

 

Now normally, in the past with my other exes I would have just simply moved on and forgotten about her. But with her, things are just different. Throughout that year, while she friendzoned me and I was trying to move on, her life started going downhill again. She was fired from the job I got her(which she claims she quit even though everyone that worked with her were close with me and told me of what happened), she was struggling with her mother's car and ended up purchasing an even worse broken down car from some random guy "claiming" to want to help her, she was taking life advice from a random group of people that pretty much made things worse than they already were.

 

It was not until I had to step in(I know very dumb of me) due to feeling a little sorry for her and also as a favor to her mother who has been very good to me that I went and helped her with her resume and have her look for another job and also assist her with giving her rides to the job as it was close to mine. She eventually started getting back on her feet with my help and support and a part of me was hoping that she would start realizing her mistake.

 

Unfortunately, a few months later when she got another job(with the help of me updating her resume), she had begun dating some other guy and literally left me hanging at an asian restaurant for lunch in which we were meeting to help her prepare for the new job in favor of going out for drinks with this guy.

 

I did not hear from her again until this past January, in which her and her mother called me stating that she was in trouble with the new guy because she had purchased his old used car and he was stalking her and causing harm and embarrassment to the point where he took it to her own mother's house with her whole family there and started yelling and causing riot to the point where a restraining order was set up(in case anyone is wondering, I know all this because her mother told me when it happened).

 

All in all, over the past 2 years this has just been driving me crazy. Despite all of this happening, I still love her and deep down I want her back by my side. All while she is having all this chaos, I'm here still working hard at my job being successful. Only stress I have in my life is making sure my family is taken care of as my parents have illness. Does anyone have any advice? I have a lot more to say, but I do not want to keep typing and making this longer than it is. Again, thank you to those that actually read this.

 

Focus on YOU . . . doing what you need to do for yourself and your family. Anything or anyone who distracts from that is not an asset . . . that includes her and her mother.

[LexiB]

It's always the ones with issues that are haunting, huh? OP, you seem like a good guy. Find a girl who builds you up as much as you do her.

 

Keep moving forward. Don't dwell on her nonsense.

[stillafool]

Thank you for the reply gnick, I have gone on several dates with other girls that honestly did have their heads on more straight than my ex did. However, at the end of the day my heart still goes out to her and with her randomly contacting me "as a friend", just makes it more difficult.

 

Block her from contacting you. She sounds like a loser that will never get herself together. Don't be her savior.

[Latino4Lyfe]

It's not important dude. Keep moving forward.

 

Will do, Thanks man

 

Focus on YOU . . . doing what you need to do for yourself and your family. Anything or anyone who distracts from that is not an asset . . . that includes her and her mother.

 

Which is what I've been doing this whole time and have come a long way and will definitely keep doing so, nowhere to go but forward .

 

 

It's always the ones with issues that are haunting, huh? OP, you seem like a good guy. Find a girl who builds you up as much as you do her.

 

Keep moving forward. Don't dwell on her nonsense.

 

very true, honestly after being told what I was told at dinner, while I felt sorry for what has occurred on their end, I just kept on with my day and kept it moving. I've come a long way and I'm not backtracking now. I'm sure the girl for me is not far off .

 

Block her from contacting you. She sounds like a loser that will never get herself together. Don't be her savior.

 

Oh she's been deleted and gone for a long while now. The case of her mother was basically running into her at a public place and having a catch up conversation and hearing the news that I posted above.

 

Thank you to all those that replied and the new people that went all the way to the beginning to read my story...Anybody else wanting to put in opinions, advice etc...feel free and it's much appreciated .

[preraph]

Unfortunately, she's one of those people who form relationships just so they can eat, drink, do drugs, and have a roof over their head. The best thing you or her family could have done for her is stop enabling her by going no contact, and that is what happened in the end, but for convoluted reasons. Her ONLY hope of ever changing is if she has to to survive! Instead, she's become one of these meal prostitutes who preys on vulnerable older people because they're easy to take advantage of. Seen them with my own eyes circling my dad when his mind was going, writing checks to themselves, etc.

 

She doesn't have it in her to be who you wish she could be. She had the benefit of having you as a role model to learn to do things right, and all she did was mooch off you and use you and others.

 

You've done well to control yourself now, and you have to just keep that going. You can't fix her and although no one is all good or all bad, she is mostly bad and you deserve much better. You can't save her because she used every bit of help you gave to further her own destruction. So in that way, you are toxic to her. So walk away guilt-free and build yourself a good life. When you talk of her to future loves, just refer to her as a tragedy, not someone you're hung up on, but a tragedy you couldn't stop that you had to get away from.

 

Best wishes.

[Latino4Lyfe]

Hey everyone!

 

Hope all is well with you all. So recently, I came across a rather minor yet slighly weird situation I was involved in over the past several months with a girl that was interested in me and was trying to establish an LDR with me.

 

I didn't want to start a new thread just for the purpose of this issue which might not even be an issue just wanted some opinions from you guys because it was just weird and before I start let me go ahead and update you guys on the ex who my thread is about....Since the encounter with her mother and receiving the news that my ex is dating a fresh widower that is 20+ years older and moved in with him while abandoning her family...I haven't heard nor been given any updates and haven't seen anything or anyone in regards to her. Been keeping to myself handling the new house and new car, so all is well

 

Now, on to the matter at hand lol. Over the past several months, an old co-worker from my first job from when I was a teenager had been calling me and texting me. She lives out of state, so I never got to see her physically, not since 8 years ago. At first it was just simply to catch up on life, give condolences etc...then one night when she texted me she revealed that she's had a huge crush on me since she first met me all those years back. I was of course very flattered and told her if she was ever back in town to hit me up and we can go on a proper date or if I go up to where she was that I would happily take her out. She was very excited and was hoping to one day meeting. Since then, we texted daily and there were a few texts in which it did get a little intimate. She was all up on my social media liking and loving everything of mine. It went on like that for a couple months, when eventually she just randomly stopped.

 

I went about 2 days texting her to see if she was okay, that I haven't heard from her. No reply, although I did see that she was online on her social media. After those 2 days, I figured she just didn't want to talk to me for whatever reason popped up in her head and since all we've done was flirt through text and talk, no talk of actually being in a relationship took place, that she just decided to date someone in her town or something, I just left her be, didn't give it a second thought.

 

Fast forward to about early July, out of nowhere she texts me "Hi handsome (kiss emoji)." I did not reply to it. A few hours later, she sends another apologizing for not keeping contact as there were some things going on in her life that she had to straighten out. I then eventually replied back "No worries, all is well". I was really not paying much attention to it. So throughout the course of a week, the back and forth texts start happening, the common general texts until one night, she sent a late night text. It was a picture of her under her covers not wearing anything and saying something sexy to me. I was flattered and of course complemented her and sent her a pic of myself shirtless, that way it wouldn't have been one sided. It made her night.

 

A few more days of texting and a couple of phone calls occur, and then all of a sudden...complete silence once again. This one went on for a few weeks until she texted me out of the blue once again to apologize and basically gave me the same excuse. This time however, she stated that she was coming to town to visit a few family members and that she wanted me to also spend the weekend with her. I was a bit hesitant this time, being that by just texting/phone alone she randomly disappears, I advised her to let me know when she's physically in town and we can talk possibly meet up then. At first she was a little upset that I did not sound "excited" about this news. I went and told her straight up that I would not get my hopes as she's already randomly disappeared twice on just phone conversations alone and ignored my texts. She gave the same excuse again and also said that she never got any further texts from me and that there were times that she thought I was ignoring her. I then send her a screenshot of the entire text history as I'm usually one to keep record of things just in case and then she started acting all shocked and kept apologizing and then understood as to why I was hesitant. She then said she was going to make it up to me once she's in town and that hopefully we can get into a relationship and that was that.

 

A couple of days later on her social media, she then posts a status with a picture of her on a date with a guy in her town and posting statuses calling him "Bae"(that word is really ridiculous by the way) and heart emojis while at the same time texting me telling me she can't wait to see me. Honestly, I was not even the least bit surprised considering the actions she's out out plus since we weren't in an actual relationship, hell we haven't even gone on an actual date yet so I was just like whatever and just stopped talking and texting her the second I saw that, did not mention it to her or anything. I'm not one to interfere with people in relationships or whatever so I left it at that. About a week after this, she took the pictures and status down and tried texting me all upset. I did not reply nor give any attention to it, I already had a vivid picture in my head as to what may happen if I get myself involved with this girl and I'm at a point in my life where many great things are coming to life so I am not messing that up. Another week, she updated her status to "in a relationship with (random guys name)" and then took it down a few days later. Needless to say, the day came to where she was coming to town...it didn't happen. She stayed over there.

 

Fast forward to the day I closed on my house and got my new car...it was a day of celebration indeed and a lot of people were very proud and happy for me. A few hours after everything settled down, she all of a sudden texts this last message to me congratulating me and wishing me well with a kiss emoji. The next day, she deletes me off social media and that was it. O.o

 

So yeah, that's basically all that happened with an old co worker that I never got to see in person and was hot and cold on texting alone O.o. Yeah can you give some thoughts and opinions guys? This was really random for me .

Edited September 29, 2016 by Latino4Lyfe

[NopeNah]

I'd bet the new girl has a guy or three in her town and is just texting you for "fun" when she's lonely/bored.

[Latino4Lyfe]

I'd bet the new girl has a guy or three in her town and is just texting you for "fun" when she's lonely/bored.

 

Exactly, as soon as she started her random disappearances on her phone I already knew she was one of them .

[Simon Phoenix]

Hey everyone!

 

Hope all is well with you all. So recently, I came across a rather minor yet slighly weird situation I was involved in over the past several months with a girl that was interested in me and was trying to establish an LDR with me.

 

I didn't want to start a new thread just for the purpose of this issue which might not even be an issue just wanted some opinions from you guys because it was just weird and before I start let me go ahead and update you guys on the ex who my thread is about....Since the encounter with her mother and receiving the news that my ex is dating a fresh widower that is 20+ years older and moved in with him while abandoning her family...I haven't heard nor been given any updates and haven't seen anything or anyone in regards to her. Been keeping to myself handling the new house and new car, so all is well

 

Now, on to the matter at hand lol. Over the past several months, an old co-worker from my first job from when I was a teenager had been calling me and texting me. She lives out of state, so I never got to see her physically, not since 8 years ago. At first it was just simply to catch up on life, give condolences etc...then one night when she texted me she revealed that she's had a huge crush on me since she first met me all those years back. I was of course very flattered and told her if she was ever back in town to hit me up and we can go on a proper date or if I go up to where she was that I would happily take her out. She was very excited and was hoping to one day meeting. Since then, we texted daily and there were a few texts in which it did get a little intimate. She was all up on my social media liking and loving everything of mine. It went on like that for a couple months, when eventually she just randomly stopped.

 

I went about 2 days texting her to see if she was okay, that I haven't heard from her. No reply, although I did see that she was online on her social media. After those 2 days, I figured she just didn't want to talk to me for whatever reason popped up in her head and since all we've done was flirt through text and talk, no talk of actually being in a relationship took place, that she just decided to date someone in her town or something, I just left her be, didn't give it a second thought.

 

Fast forward to about early July, out of nowhere she texts me "Hi handsome (kiss emoji)." I did not reply to it. A few hours later, she sends another apologizing for not keeping contact as there were some things going on in her life that she had to straighten out. I then eventually replied back "No worries, all is well". I was really not paying much attention to it. So throughout the course of a week, the back and forth texts start happening, the common general texts until one night, she sent a late night text. It was a picture of her under her covers not wearing anything and saying something sexy to me. I was flattered and of course complemented her and sent her a pic of myself shirtless, that way it wouldn't have been one sided. It made her night.

 

A few more days of texting and a couple of phone calls occur, and then all of a sudden...complete silence once again. This one went on for a few weeks until she texted me out of the blue once again to apologize and basically gave me the same excuse. This time however, she stated that she was coming to town to visit a few family members and that she wanted me to also spend the weekend with her. I was a bit hesitant this time, being that by just texting/phone alone she randomly disappears, I advised her to let me know when she's physically in town and we can talk possibly meet up then. At first she was a little upset that I did not sound "excited" about this news. I went and told her straight up that I would not get my hopes as she's already randomly disappeared twice on just phone conversations alone and ignored my texts. She gave the same excuse again and also said that she never got any further texts from me and that there were times that she thought I was ignoring her. I then send her a screenshot of the entire text history as I'm usually one to keep record of things just in case and then she started acting all shocked and kept apologizing and then understood as to why I was hesitant. She then said she was going to make it up to me once she's in town and that hopefully we can get into a relationship and that was that.

 

A couple of days later on her social media, she then posts a status with a picture of her on a date with a guy in her town and posting statuses calling him "Bae"(that word is really ridiculous by the way) and heart emojis while at the same time texting me telling me she can't wait to see me. Honestly, I was not even the least bit surprised considering the actions she's out out plus since we weren't in an actual relationship, hell we haven't even gone on an actual date yet so I was just like whatever and just stopped talking and texting her the second I saw that, did not mention it to her or anything. I'm not one to interfere with people in relationships or whatever so I left it at that. About a week after this, she took the pictures and status down and tried texting me all upset. I did not reply nor give any attention to it, I already had a vivid picture in my head as to what may happen if I get myself involved with this girl and I'm at a point in my life where many great things are coming to life so I am not messing that up. Another week, she updated her status to "in a relationship with (random guys name)" and then took it down a few days later. Needless to say, the day came to where she was coming to town...it didn't happen. She stayed over there.

 

Fast forward to the day I closed on my house and got my new car...it was a day of celebration indeed and a lot of people were very proud and happy for me. A few hours after everything settled down, she all of a sudden texts this last message to me congratulating me and wishing me well with a kiss emoji. The next day, she deletes me off social media and that was it. O.o

 

So yeah, that's basically all that happened with an old co worker that I never got to see in person and was hot and cold on texting alone O.o. Yeah can you give some thoughts and opinions guys? This was really random for me .

 

She's a lunatic? Who knows. File that into the "Bitches be crazy" folder (no offense meant, ladies) and move on IMO. No need to overthink, or really think at all.

[Latino4Lyfe]

She's a lunatic? Who knows. File that into the "Bitches be crazy" folder (no offense meant, ladies) and move on IMO. No need to overthink, or really think at all.

 

True that , I just wanted to make sure I wasn't tripping or anything . But yeah she's long gone though, going to keep looking. I'm sure the girl that is meant to be with me will pop up soon.