Taramere Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think it's polite to offer to pay half. If the guy isn't flush or it's against his beliefs to pay for the whole bill in respect of a date he asked a woman out on, and in his venue of choice, then he has the option of accepting that offer. My feeling would be, though, that if he hasn't much money then he shouldn't be inviting people out on expensive dates. A coffee date would be more appropriate. It's not so much the "not wanting to spend too much money" aspect I'd be looking out for in that scenario, as a chippy "women are entitled bitches who expect men to subsidise them" attitude. Who really wants to go out for dinner with a stranger and spend the time feeling as though they're eating deep fried "argumentative men-v-women thread on Loveshack"? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Not necessarily true. Plenty of times I've seen women tear each other apart over some dude. Including women old enough to know better. In "gender war" threads in an online forum they might talk a big game but reality is quite different. Agree. In fact, the majority of female relationahips I've seen destroyed always involved some guy. Women are group mentality till a man is involved. Why else would in most cases the other woman is self sabotaging the wife or girlfriend in the mans life? I uses to be friends s with a 50 year old who did this to the married guy she was seeing. Talk about ugly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 That there shows a lot of pain and hurt... Sorry TFG but I would not want to date you because you seem so bitter and angry towards women. I am sorry your Ex was a cad... Takes all sorts... Quite the opposite. I'm happy to have her out of my life. What really gets me are the misandric divorce laws that automatically reward women for divorcing. Not only that, numerous studies have shown that men aged 20 - 29 aren't marrying either; 7 out of 10 of them are unmarried, the highest number EVER. It ain't just me, Toodles. It's the majority of men. My GF has no desire to marry either. She's 30, has never married, and will never marry. She's perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Quite the opposite. I'm happy to have her out of my life. What really gets me are the misandric divorce laws that automatically reward women for divorcing. Not only that, numerous studies have shown that men aged 20 - 29 aren't marrying either; 7 out of 10 of them are unmarried, the highest number EVER. It ain't just me, Toodles. It's the majority of men. My GF has no desire to marry either. She's 30, has never married, and will never marry. She's perfect. I'm single, and I'm okay with that! Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Agree. In fact, the majority of female relationahips I've seen destroyed always involved some guy. Women are group mentality till a man is involved. Why else would in most cases the other woman is self sabotaging the wife or girlfriend in the mans life? I uses to be friends s with a 50 year old who did this to the married guy she was seeing. Talk about ugly. I don't doubt it. On here though women will say they would never compete over a man. Unless a guy started a thread saying they should never compete over a man. Then, they would first rip that guy to shreds, say a woman can have whoever she wants, then they would essentially agree women shouldn't compete over a man, then they would continue ripping the guy a new one. That was a thread on here, BTW. Probably 20+ pages. Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I'm single, and I'm okay with that! Case in point! Marriage is a bad contract for men. Why would I voluntarily sign a contract that bets half my assets that a relationship will never end? Or even worse, sign a contract whereby the terms of said contract are only agreed to upon its termination? That's utterly ludicrous and extremely bad business. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 So as a woman its not acceptable for me to want to treat you in the same way??? Regardless of my paycheck amount I still want to be able to contribute and stand on my own feet... give my man a treat every now and then! I'm sorry, I was thinking of first dates. If you're wanting to pay, I'm sure not saying no... lol But I was just speaking to Tool's point of view. In a relationship, it becomes a partnership, so to me, money isn't even up for debate. I'll admit maybe I went too far with this. I had a joint account and shared money with my ex wife. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Respect is earned, not given away. If you want to pay with no questions asked, then do it. No one's stopping you. I choose not to. Look at it this way..... I own a business...When someone new walks in off the street, I have no idea if they are going to spend 10 bucks or 10 grand....They have options so I need to put my best foot forward, and show them that I am the place they want to do business with. There are times that those customers don't buy, or spend almost nothing, but at least I have shown them that I am a person that appreciates the consideration.. It would be a very rare woman that seeks out dates for free food..I just don't see that...And I don't think for one minute that showing someone that you are willing to be a gentleman and a gracious host, sets up a scenario where that person is immediately going to drain out your 401K when you start getting serious.... I'm not in that game, but I wouldn't ever want to eliminate a whole group of women over something so seemingly insignificant... TFY 5 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I certainly don't mean "all". My GF has no expectation that I buy her anything at all. She even told me that it weirds her out when I do! And look at blackzombiegirl. She has no expectation that men pay her way. So when we say "some" or "most", we really mean "some" or "most". You can try and shame us into your way of thinking, but it's not going to work. I don't care at all what faceless people on LS think of me. I don't live to gain your approval, or the approval of any woman. So what if there are women who say "Tool, I'd never date you"? Who cares? My GF told me this yesterday: "You are too sweet and wonderful to be true!" Why? Because I'm shelling out $300 on a weekend getaway for us to celebrate her birthday. She doesn't expect it. She didn't ask for it. But I'm doing it gladly, because I LOVE her. To pay out of love and respect, I totally get that. To pay simply because you have a vagina, that's utterly ridiculous. See, and I have never intended shame, I have never stated that someone should pay because a woman has a vagina, I have never stated anyone has to think like me. Heck, I never even said I don't like you. The above confrontational "lecture" is what I do not understand. There is a specific type of male poster on forums in general who feel compelled to "put a woman in her place" when she disagrees. And you know what? I doubt that when your GF said you were to sweet to be true she was doing calculations. I bet she was thinking of you as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Look at it this way..... I own a business...When someone new walks in off the street, I have no idea if they are going to spend 10 bucks or 10 grand....They have options so I need to put my best foot forward, and show them that I am the place they want to do business with. There are times that those customers don't buy, or spend almost nothing, but at least I have shown them that I am a person that appreciates the consideration.. It would be a very rare woman that seeks out dates for free food..I just don't see that...And I don't think for one minute that showing someone that you are willing to be a gentleman and a gracious host, sets up a scenario where that person is immediately going to drain out your 401K when you start getting serious.... I'm not in that game, but I wouldn't ever want to eliminate a whole group of women over something so seemingly insignificant... TFY Totally apples to oranges. You need customers to frequent your business, as that's your livelihood. Whereas no man needs a woman. They're not necessary for survival. I'm not going to waste my time and resources to try and impress a woman. I am what I am...range it or leave it. If she chooses to leave it, no problem. It's not like she's the only woman in the world. Last time I checked, there were at least 3.5 billion others. Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Case in point! Marriage is a bad contract for men. Why would I voluntarily sign a contract that bets half my assets that a relationship will never end? Or even worse, sign a contract whereby the terms of said contract are only agreed to upon its termination? That's utterly ludicrous and extremely bad business. That doesn't mean I don't miss having a girlfriend. I just don't think I want to get married. Man the horror stories I've seen of unhappy marriages, rampant cheating and ugly divorce court all point to terrible circumstances for men. And where do most of these stories come from? Guys with great careers. So I think I'll wait. It's not so bad if you know how to handle it! Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 This is why it's a big deal for me: if she expects me to pay (which you do, if you wouldn't go out with a guy again because he didn't buy you something, that's an expectation) NO it's NOT an expectation, it's something she likes and it's important to her!! She didn't EXPECT it. You know what guys I don't have a lot of money, I am just starting out on my career, my bf makes more than I do and he is also old fashioned that way and likes to take me out and treat me to a nice time, it makes him happy to do it and I appreciate it. I am pretty easy going with money myself and it kind of freaks me out to read about what a HUGE deal it is for some of you to buy something for another person!!! I don't even think twice to pay for the coffee when I am out with a friend or my boyfriend or my mom or whatever, none of them are taking advantage of me, I like to do it! And I get plenty of coffee bought for me too! We just aren't all obsessed with it like some of you are. The girl who has not had $100 spent on her in all her years of dating and seems to be proud of it!! (I think she is in her 30's) WOW. I spent $100 buying coffee or beers for my friends within the last 2 months!! Maybe it's just that being stingy is an unattractive quality, NOT that "women expect" bla bla bla??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It ain't just me, Toodles. It's the majority of men. And again, I live on a different planet. I know lots of men, am related to lots of men, and have man friends who talk to me. I just am not seeing this giant stem of "run for the hills from the evil gold-digging vaginas" in my circle. Yeah, some of us have been hurt. Hurt badly. We just don't let that shape our entire world view of the opposite gender. I only know 1 bitter man in real life, and I have only met a couple of boys who whine about women - both are around 20, spend most of the time in mom's basement playing RPG, and at least one of them is way over on the autism spectrum so social skills are tough for him. None of the mainstream men I know feel the way LS men or MRA men or Reddit men or PUA men do about women. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 And again, I live on a different planet. I know lots of men, am related to lots of men, and have man friends who talk to me. I just am not seeing this giant stem of "run for the hills from the evil gold-digging vaginas" in my circle. Yeah, some of us have been hurt. Hurt badly. We just don't let that shape our entire world view of the opposite gender. I only know 1 bitter man in real life, and I have only met a couple of boys who whine about women - both are around 20, spend most of the time in mom's basement playing RPG, and at least one of them is way over on the autism spectrum so social skills are tough for him. None of the mainstream men I know feel the way LS men or MRA men or Reddit men or PUA men do about women. I'm broke. I've gone on a few dates. Not as many as I'd like but just enough to get some. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 "run for the hills from the evil gold-digging vaginas" lol! >>>>> 3 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 See, and I have never intended shame, I have never stated that someone should pay because a woman has a vagina, I have never stated anyone has to think like me. Heck, I never even said I don't like you. The above confrontational "lecture" is what I do not understand. There is a specific type of male poster on forums in general who feel compelled to "put a woman in her place" when she disagrees. And you know what? I doubt that when your GF said you were to sweet to be true she was doing calculations. I bet she was thinking of you as a person. Cone on, AN. "Put you in your place"? Really? I'm not telling you how to live your life. I'm not trying to tell ANY woman how to live their life. Save the "victim" mentality for someone who actually buys it. Make whatever choices you want. It's YOUR LIFE. I have absolutely no stake in it. The only lives I have any stake in are mine and my daughter's. That's it. And the choices I make are designed to protect them. Beyond that, I simply don't give a $h!t. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I'm broke. I've gone on a few dates. Not as many as I'd like but just enough to get some. Some what??? Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 May I add the majority of men and women on ls are middle class Caucasians with decent careers? I probably couldn't or wouldn't date you guys being low class myself. I used to hate that but now I realize you play the cards you're dealt with. You have no choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I probably couldn't or wouldn't date you guys being low class myself. I used to hate that but now I realize you play the cards you're dealt with. You have no choice. Hey this is OT but don't classify yourself that way, you are not low class no matter who your parents are or how much $$ or where you live it's about who YOU are and how you live your life!! You seem like a good guy who doesn't have all these bizarre and mean ideas about women which is a relief, hold onto that!!:bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Some what??? Ahem. When birds and bees come together.... Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It would be a very rare woman that seeks out dates for free food..I just don't see that...Despite my dating history, I agree with you on this. The women who were uninterested in me romantically did seem interested in spending time with me. Quite a few kept trying to keep in touch with me months after I declined their friendships. To me, it seemed like they were looking for a friend with the added benefit of his money. It's quite possible I could have been friends with some of these women even after I took money out of the equation, but I chose not to.NO it's NOT an expectation, it's something she likes and it's important to her!! She didn't EXPECT it.I believe the correct term here would be prerequisite. Paying for her first date is a prerequisite to the second date.I spent $100 buying coffee or beers for my friends within the last 2 months!! Maybe it's just that being stingy is an unattractive quality, NOT that "women expect" bla bla bla???You realize that some of us are arguing on a completely different scale, right? A $100 over a couple months is nothing. Quote me one poster in this thread who is complaining over such a small amount. Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 NO it's NOT an expectation, it's something she likes and it's important to her!! She didn't EXPECT it. You know what guys I don't have a lot of money, I am just starting out on my career, my bf makes more than I do and he is also old fashioned that way and likes to take me out and treat me to a nice time, it makes him happy to do it and I appreciate it. I am pretty easy going with money myself and it kind of freaks me out to read about what a HUGE deal it is for some of you to buy something for another person!!! I don't even think twice to pay for the coffee when I am out with a friend or my boyfriend or my mom or whatever, none of them are taking advantage of me, I like to do it! And I get plenty of coffee bought for me too! We just aren't all obsessed with it like some of you are. The girl who has not had $100 spent on her in all her years of dating and seems to be proud of it!! (I think she is in her 30's) WOW. I spent $100 buying coffee or beers for my friends within the last 2 months!! Maybe it's just that being stingy is an unattractive quality, NOT that "women expect" bla bla bla??? Absolutely it's a expectation. She flat out said no man would get a second date if he didn't spend money on her. Which means she's going into every single date with that mindset. She flat out said "the man WILL pay if he wants to continue going out with me". How you and other women choose to categorize that is irrelevant to me. What matters is howI perceive it. It's my money that's on the line, which makes it my call to make. Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Hey this is OT but don't classify yourself that way, you are not low class no matter who your parents are or how much $$ or where you live it's about who YOU are and how you live your life!! You seem like a good guy who doesn't have all these bizarre and mean ideas about women which is a relief, hold onto that!!:bunny: Thank you. But if good guy is all a woman can say about me, then I'm defi itely doing something Wrong in the dating game. But being bitter doesn't help. Just be a better you any way you can for yourself. Be genuine. I'm a nerdy gamer who loves tinkering with electronics and can build simple and semi complex robots. But I own that. I have no shame in who I am. I just wish more women in my area were into it! But hey, life is meant to be lived! Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Some what??? Some free dinners of course! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Some free dinners of course! Yeah, I thought that was the case. Men dating for free dinners, who'd a thought it... Link to post Share on other sites
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