I have an extreme phobia of working out in front of others

[KatZee]

I was the same way. Not to this extreme but I hated gyms BC of all the staring and because I had no idea how any of the machines worked. I still signed up for the gym because I do what I want and that's what you should do too. The first couple of classes I went to were a little awkward as I got the hang of weight lifting machines but the awkwardness goes away really fast. No one cares about what you're doing and no one is laughing at you. I'll be honest people still stare at me but that's because I'm a female. And guys are going to stare at females working out. The only difference is I don't care anymore and I'll run for 45 minutes on a treadmill with sweat pouring down my face and then go upstairs and lift weights making ugly faces and no one cares. I looked in the mirror this week and I see two abs forming at the top of my stomach. That's enough for me to not really care about anyone's judgment at the gym.

[Audacious]

Interesting topic....Here is my view and personal experiences along with a personal story of encouragement...

 

Way back in the 80's, I belonged to this really hardcore lifters/bodybuilders gym....Not that there weren't any women allowed, but only a few really hardcore women were members...This was a no nonsense place...Huge guys, most of them juiced to their eyeballs. throwing weights around, yelling, and killing it...It was a great place.Not like the watered down spas of today.....

 

Anyway, this middle aged overweight woman walks in....

 

Now, at first, I think she thought she was in the wrong place...But she went ahead and struggled through a workout...Id think most people would think that these meatheads would goof on her....Nothing could be further from the truth....We all embraced her and encouraged her...Helped out where we could(I was a kid at the time and wasn't as versed as now)...But everyone was supportive as can be..

 

She hung in there and really made good progress...

 

Point is this....

 

Don't be too intimidated...Take away a few jerks, and the more serious people are generally less judgemental than the newbies.. Look for a more serious place...Draw strength and motivation from those who are getting it done...The chain type places are full of immature jackholes that would probably pass judgement and make someone that is starting out feel uncomfortable...Ive seen it in person...The sad part is some of the most judgemental people are the least knowledgeable or fit themselves...

 

Anyway, best of luck to you on your path to a more healthy life...Believe me, its not that intimidating as you might think...

 

TFY

 

I am happy for you

 

as for me I had a very different experience and to be honest , it wasn't bad because of other people , it was bad because of my own ignorance about how to use the equipment and my own insecuriy and anxiety .

 

I have never been fit , I was what slim but with no muscles , as I never worked out in my life , as I was approaching 28 ( I am 31 now ) I started to gain weight , responsibilities increased and stress went through the roof .

one day I forced myself to go to the gym , there was a cardio room with 6 treadmills ,4 were occupied , so I started using one , despite the fact that it wasn't going fast , within 10-15 minutes I was exhausted and had to stop . and thought about gradually increasing time and speed next time , the next day I was sore all over and it was just painful that I could barely walk so I did not go back ever again .

 

the second time , I went to the gym when it was practically empty , there were four muscular "gym dwellers" sitting on a bench chit chatting , I grabbed a dumbel and felt really uneasy , I didn't know how to use it , I didn't know what weight I should start using , I could feel the guys were staring at me , they did not laugh or make snide comments at all , they were more like " WTF is he doing"

 

Again , this has nothing to do with other people but everything to do with me , I know that I should just buy gym clothes and go on a treadmill ( since I already know how to use them ) but I just have to take that all intimidating first step and be among these ultra fit guys with their Bose headsets and fancy protein shakes making "gains "

 

this thing , my body image is really destroying my life , I cannot even look at my own body in the mirror , I hate it and hate myself for it .

I am trying at least to reduce belly fat , at least to have an ok body to go to the gym but to no avail

[losangelena]

http://www.fitnessblender.com

 

I love this site. It's free, and you can do everything at home.

 

I'm like you, I don't like gyms, and when I first started working out 15 years ago, I weighed over 300 pounds and didn't want to do it in front of others. I've made great progress working out at home (have lost and kept off about half my original weight), doing at home cardio and HIIT workouts, and jump rope in the driveway. I also have a set of Power Block free weights. When I can, I hit the nearby hills for a hike.

 

The only time I'll go to the gym is if I want to go swim, but I'm generally not a fan of machines and I find the treadmill and elliptical machine quite boring. You can definitely get results outside the gym, but you've got to set aside your fears and excuses. Everyone started somewhere.

[heartwhole]

I'm an at-home exerciser myself, always have been. We even have a family membership to the Y but I never use it. My extroverted husband loves working out with others and does an exercise class at the ungodly hour of 5:45 a.m. most weekdays.

 

Why not try P90X or the like at home? You don't have to go to a gym to workout. Doing it at home gives you more flexibility and eliminates the travel time to and from the gym, plus no one will see you during those first few weeks when you don't know any of the moves and do a lot of wobbling.

 

I do understand the intimidation factor, but remember that if anyone even glances twice at you (which they probably won't because they're just there to do the workout and go home), it will be to think, "Good for you, dude!" If only fit people were welcome in gyms, they would never get any new clients, would they?

[BelleSkye]

So I am resurrecting the thread ,thank you guys

 

I am doing the walking thing but I don't know if that will help in fat loss ,

I am also thinking of buying a treadmill to use at home , it would be much better and it can be an intense exercise to burn fat .

 

maybe later when I have a someone OK body , I will attempt to go to the gym

 

How about joining a gym and hiring a personal trainer for at least a week or a month?

 

That way - they can teach you how to train / use the equipment and advise which exercises to concentrate on. At least for the first week / month, you will have some company to keep you distracted from the other 'serious gym members. Afterwards, yóu can have thhe confidence to train by yourself.

 

Who knows, maybe you might just lose a little weight or tone up a bit more to boost your confidence levels even more.

[cc_zero]

because you mentioned near your work, I assume you would be going over lunch ?

 

Reason I ask is because that's what I do and the gym I go to is nearly empty during the week over lunch time. You are probably picturing this massively packed gym where everyone will be staring at you trying to figure out how to use a machine and laugh.

 

In reality, if you go over lunch, there will be 15 people max in the whole place and everyone is in their own world doing their own thing.

[Audacious]

How about joining a gym and hiring a personal trainer for at least a week or a month?

 

That way - they can teach you how to train / use the equipment and advise which exercises to concentrate on. At least for the first week / month, you will have some company to keep you distracted from the other 'serious gym members. Afterwards, yóu can have thhe confidence to train by yourself.

 

Who knows, maybe you might just lose a little weight or tone up a bit more to boost your confidence levels even more.

 

Hey guys , so I am resurrecting this thread again ,

I still did not bring myself to just go and joined the gym

I have lost a few pounds only to gain them all back as I stopped going for long walks ,I tried running but my stamina was for s%$t

 

I wish I can get a personal trainer but unfortunately that is a luxury that I cannot afford .

[Audacious]

because you mentioned near your work, I assume you would be going over lunch ?

 

Reason I ask is because that's what I do and the gym I go to is nearly empty during the week over lunch time. You are probably picturing this massively packed gym where everyone will be staring at you trying to figure out how to use a machine and laugh.

 

In reality, if you go over lunch, there will be 15 people max in the whole place and everyone is in their own world doing their own thing.

 

I was thinking of losing some weight on my own first until my body become half-decent but to no avail

 

stress at work , drinking ...etc

[AMJ]

They say that weight loss is 20% exercise and 80% diet....you may not need a gym to reach your goals. Start the long walks again. Start with just short walks. Can you walk every day for 20-30 minutes? Eventually that will get easy and you'll want to go for longer. Don't start running if it's too hard, just walk. Eventually you'll be stronger and able to walk faster. If you get bored on walks like I do, listen to podcasts. They're free and it feels like I'm multitasking because I'm learning something while I walk.

 

What are your challenges with eating healthier? If you write them out, people here can offer suggestions. There are free websites and apps that can help you with planning a diet. I think the key is consistency and not giving up, going at your own pace so you don't get frustrated.

[RecentChange]

Of course you had no stamina running, you are out of shape. We all start somewhere.

 

I was totally out of shape last year. I decided to make some changes. No gym membership, no personal trainers - just a resolve that I owe it to myself.

 

I exercise on my lunch breaks. When I started, no way I could run! I was out of shape. So I went on brisk walks, I ate less calories, and stuck to it. 5 days a week, no excuses, I went for my walk.

 

Before long the walks were easy. So then I added stair cases. They sucked at first! I was out of breath and sore. But 5 days a week, I stuck with it. It was 40 mins a day, hardly going to kill me! Nothing like altheltes press themselves for. So, I told myself this is child's play, DO IT.

 

Before long, the walks and the stairs were easy, and I started adding running. At first, just a block at a time - run to that tree, then you can walk! Eventually that block became a mile.

 

Now I can comfortably run 3.5 miles, which I do, during my lunch break 5 days a week.

 

I feel so much better!!! My body looks better. I am more relaxed. My resting heart rate is down, my legs are toned. I am more confident - no regrets.

 

My advice. Start small, and JUST DO IT. Every day.

 

Some days I start out on my run and think, this sucks, I feel crappy, I don't wanna do this today. But you know what, by the time I am done, I NEVER have those thoughts. I think wow, I feel good, I am glad I did it.

 

So when I am thinking"this sucks" I remind myself that is what I said the other day and I was glad I got it done.

 

And sometimes I have good days, today I felt GREAT!

[Audacious]

They say that weight loss is 20% exercise and 80% diet....you may not need a gym to reach your goals. Start the long walks again. Start with just short walks. Can you walk every day for 20-30 minutes? Eventually that will get easy and you'll want to go for longer. Don't start running if it's too hard, just walk. Eventually you'll be stronger and able to walk faster. If you get bored on walks like I do, listen to podcasts. They're free and it feels like I'm multitasking because I'm learning something while I walk.

 

What are your challenges with eating healthier? If you write them out, people here can offer suggestions. There are free websites and apps that can help you with planning a diet. I think the key is consistency and not giving up, going at your own pace so you don't get frustrated.

 

Thank you for your reply

 

I can walk for 45 min straight in an urgent pace , I can take 15 Min break then go and do around 20-25 Min again .

 

Not an excuse but something to throw out there: I am currently living and working in the Middle East and it is incredibly hot and humid but I keep mysef hydrated and use wrist bands to to wipe the sweat .

 

What are your challenges with eating healthier? If you write them out, people here can offer suggestions.

 

I have a hard time eating healthy simply because I order take out and go to restaurants , unfortunately I do that when I am famished so naturally my picks , recently became less healthy , ( The healthiest thing here is Subway).

 

My problem is that I drink ... my drink of choice is vodka and water so there are no calories from mixers , but taking in consideration that one shot of vodka is around 100 cals if not more , I could easily go without , that's 300-500 cals I can cut , the price ? boredom , I enjoy my drinks and after a long day , they look much more appealing than going to a grueling 45 min of walking and being completely drenched and exhausted , my question is there anyway I could keep my drinks and still lose weight ? ( previously I came to the conclusion that there is no way but I am open to suggestions ) .

[Audacious]

Of course you had no stamina running, you are out of shape. We all start somewhere.

 

I was totally out of shape last year. I decided to make some changes. No gym membership, no personal trainers - just a resolve that I owe it to myself.

 

I exercise on my lunch breaks. When I started, no way I could run! I was out of shape. So I went on brisk walks, I ate less calories, and stuck to it. 5 days a week, no excuses, I went for my walk.

 

Before long the walks were easy. So then I added stair cases. They sucked at first! I was out of breath and sore. But 5 days a week, I stuck with it. It was 40 mins a day, hardly going to kill me! Nothing like altheltes press themselves for. So, I told myself this is child's play, DO IT.

 

Before long, the walks and the stairs were easy, and I started adding running. At first, just a block at a time - run to that tree, then you can walk! Eventually that block became a mile.

 

Now I can comfortably run 3.5 miles, which I do, during my lunch break 5 days a week.

 

I feel so much better!!! My body looks better. I am more relaxed. My resting heart rate is down, my legs are toned. I am more confident - no regrets.

 

My advice. Start small, and JUST DO IT. Every day.

 

Some days I start out on my run and think, this sucks, I feel crappy, I don't wanna do this today. But you know what, by the time I am done, I NEVER have those thoughts. I think wow, I feel good, I am glad I did it.

 

So when I am thinking"this sucks" I remind myself that is what I said the other day and I was glad I got it done.

 

And sometimes I have good days, today I felt GREAT!

 

I did the walking for about 2 months or so then got back to the old habits ( not completely but I started eating less healthier )

 

I used to enjoy snacking on almonds but I discovered that they are high on calories , I used to eat healthy muesli but it really did cause me digestive discomfort , I fell into the trap of a cheat meal that was stretched for a cheat month or so .

 

going back to my old diet today ,hopefully

[Cherryz]

I think its maybe because you insecure because of things you know people

say sometimes or have said to you maybe while growing up?

And i think also this stupid gym you are going to now is also enable alot of your fear.

But in this world you have to lose care of anything people have to say.

And do you! Otherwise you wont achive anything.

 

From what i read, i would tell you first of get a better gym club. The one you at is

not good and a waste of money.

Real educated people would want to help anyone and know how to speak and treat members.

 

Get a list of gymclubs and make a appointment to take a look and see how people are there. And when you find one that is good, become a member.

 

Few tips :

- go early, like if gym open at 8 am, be there at 8 am or 7:55. Most people are not there at that time. its often the more relaxed moment of the day.

-And also at that time people may be more relaxed to help. And you kind of have the assistant for "yourself" a bit since there is not much people.

You can use this morning thing in everything. Also for jogging/biking outside you can go in the early morning if you live in a safe neighborhood.

- go with a freind or a gym where your freinds also go,that is confident and let him help you out and that can help you feel more relax to move around on your own after. And either way let your friends and family know about this. They will help you or atleast you got it out.

 

*You can also make your own gym at home. see online you dont need much.(look online for ideas).So you dont have to worry with anyone then yourself and workout when you want.(also use youtube videos as support and for more variety in your workouts).

But if you are very heavy you may need a more expensive gym equipment.Like home trainers go till certain kg. The more weight they can carry the more they cost.

*You can also have a personal trainer(they can be very expensive) and tell him/her your problem and work out a bit with him(maybe 1 to 3 times) to gain some confident to move on working out on your own.

 

*You can also make a appointment for once only and have this talk about your insecurity with the trainer. A good one will give you at least tips how to see things/deal with it etc.

 

I do think your problem is not big and easy solved for most part as soon as you stop going to that stupid gym! And put your music loud and focus on yourself.

[Cherryz]

Yes healty food is also important.

Some trainers can help you with that too.

 

But if you cant do it yourself there is also help for that. Talk about it with your doctor.

Or you can read books about what is healthy to eat and how much etc and do it.

Less meat the better for you. And animal fat is harder to burn.

So you better eat veggies and fruits and nuts more.

[xxoo]

 

 

I have a hard time eating healthy simply because I order take out and go to restaurants , unfortunately I do that when I am famished so naturally my picks , recently became less healthy , ( The healthiest thing here is Subway).

 

My problem is that I drink ... my drink of choice is vodka and water so there are no calories from mixers , but taking in consideration that one shot of vodka is around 100 cals if not more , I could easily go without , that's 300-500 cals I can cut , the price ? boredom , I enjoy my drinks and after a long day , they look much more appealing than going to a grueling 45 min of walking and being completely drenched and exhausted , my question is there anyway I could keep my drinks and still lose weight ? ( previously I came to the conclusion that there is no way but I am open to suggestions ) .

 

Eating healthy requires planning. Planning in shopping for healthy ingredients, planning in preparing meals, planning in bringing food with you so that you don't get hungry and eat fast food. Do you know how to prepare quick, healthy meals? What are your favorites proteins, veggies, and carbs?

 

Instead of drinking out of boredom, can you take up a hobby? Learn a new language on duolingo, take up photography, or simply learn to cook

[RecentChange]

Musli is quite calorie dense - one cup (which isn't much!!) Can easily pack 300 calories. Add a cup of milk, you are looking at 400 calories for a small bowl (unless you are measuring most likely much more).

 

Here. Do you REALLY want to lose weight and get healthy? Like really want to do it with no more excuses? Because it will NEVER happen unless you get serious about it.

 

Yes, you can lose weight while still drinking, but it will be much harder to achieve and will take much more discipline - are you ready for that?

 

In addition to exercising, you need to adhere to diet. This can be done while eating out etc - but it will be harder, and again, require more discipline.

 

You need to download an app like LoseIt or MyFitnessPal. Put in your goals, and get your daily calorie allowance.

 

TRACK EVERY SINGLE THING BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH.

 

What this will do is teach you how many calories are in the things you eat. I think you will be very surprised! It will influence your choices. There have been many times i set something back down - not worth it! Eventually you will be able to look at something and know if it's calorie dense, or a "good choice". You will get an idea of how many calories a day you are eating, and it will be right there in your face, in hard numbers.

 

If you told us what type of take out (chinese, Italian?) I would be happy to make healthy choice suggestions.

 

But bottom line is, you have to decide you are really going to do it. And then DO IT. Exercise and eat well.

[AMJ]

I do feel for you on the heat, I'm a complete wuss when it comes to running in temps over 85. Does it get cooler earlier in the morning?

 

I gained weight when I had a job that required me to travel all the time, living out of hotel rooms. It is difficult to be healthy when you can't cook or get access to a grocery store. I got a bullet blender and made smoothies in my room. And instead of eating at restaurants I'd get to-go salads at grocery stores. I had a cooler in my car sometimes too, lol.

 

I guess you have to decide which is more important to you- drinking or losing weight. If you don't want to cut out drinking completely, just take a few nights off. Give yourself 2 nights a week to enjoy yourself...sometimes I substitute with tea. Tea is not as cool as vodka but I try to train my brain to appreciate healthier things.

 

Keep up the walking- sounds like you're doing great!

[Audacious]

I think its maybe because you insecure because of things you know people

say sometimes or have said to you maybe while growing up?

And i think also this stupid gym you are going to now is also enable alot of your fear.

But in this world you have to lose care of anything people have to say.

And do you! Otherwise you wont achive anything.

 

From what i read, i would tell you first of get a better gym club. The one you at is

not good and a waste of money.

Real educated people would want to help anyone and know how to speak and treat members.

 

Get a list of gymclubs and make a appointment to take a look and see how people are there. And when you find one that is good, become a member.

 

Few tips :

- go early, like if gym open at 8 am, be there at 8 am or 7:55. Most people are not there at that time. its often the more relaxed moment of the day.

-And also at that time people may be more relaxed to help. And you kind of have the assistant for "yourself" a bit since there is not much people.

You can use this morning thing in everything. Also for jogging/biking outside you can go in the early morning if you live in a safe neighborhood.

- go with a freind or a gym where your freinds also go,that is confident and let him help you out and that can help you feel more relax to move around on your own after. And either way let your friends and family know about this. They will help you or atleast you got it out.

 

*You can also make your own gym at home. see online you dont need much.(look online for ideas).So you dont have to worry with anyone then yourself and workout when you want.(also use youtube videos as support and for more variety in your workouts).

But if you are very heavy you may need a more expensive gym equipment.Like home trainers go till certain kg. The more weight they can carry the more they cost.

*You can also have a personal trainer(they can be very expensive) and tell him/her your problem and work out a bit with him(maybe 1 to 3 times) to gain some confident to move on working out on your own.

 

*You can also make a appointment for once only and have this talk about your insecurity with the trainer. A good one will give you at least tips how to see things/deal with it etc.

 

I do think your problem is not big and easy solved for most part as soon as you stop going to that stupid gym! And put your music loud and focus on yourself.

 

Thanks for the detailed reply ,

 

I wouldn't say that I am insecure because I was made fun of when I was a kid but my two main reasons for not going to the gym are : -

 

1- My body image ( I am not morbidly obese or anything ) my body is just ugly in my opinion , so maybe if I can lose a couple of pounds first then join a gym I'd feel much bettter

 

2- Me and gym equipment is like a chimp in a cockpit of a plane , I just no absolutely nothing about how to utilize them , seeing everyone else just effortlessly adjust and use them is just beyond me .

 

 

- Personal trainer is out of the question at this point in my life , unfortunately

 

- On a positive note : I did go for a one hour walk yesturday and really felt good about it ,It was also a dry day

[Audacious]

Musli is quite calorie dense - one cup (which isn't much!!) Can easily pack 300 calories. Add a cup of milk, you are looking at 400 calories for a small bowl (unless you are measuring most likely much more).

 

This is certainly news to me , I thought they're synonymous with weight loss and healthy food , so one more item will have to go off my diet , can't say that I am unhappy because I didn't like them anyways .

 

Here. Do you REALLY want to lose weight and get healthy? Like really want to do it with no more excuses? Because it will NEVER happen unless you get serious about it.

 

for sure , yet regaining weight seems to be another problem that I didn't take into account .

 

Yes, you can lose weight while still drinking, but it will be much harder to achieve and will take much more discipline - are you ready for that?

 

yes , but how ?

 

 

ou need to download an app like LoseIt or MyFitnessPal. Put in your goals, and get your daily calorie allowance.

 

Already have both of them on my iPhone

 

If you told us what type of take out (chinese, Italian?) I would be happy to make healthy choice suggestions.

 

I have an obsession with Italian food , I don't eat much Chinese food currently , I used to have Chinese weekly

 

I also order , Sweet n sour soup with chicken and stir-fried veggies ( seems like a healthy option)

But bottom line is, you have to decide you are really going to do it. And then DO IT. Exercise and eat well.

 

I MUST do it because the other choice is to let myself go ,

[Audacious]

I do feel for you on the heat, I'm a complete wuss when it comes to running in temps over 85. Does it get cooler earlier in the morning?

 

I gained weight when I had a job that required me to travel all the time, living out of hotel rooms. It is difficult to be healthy when you can't cook or get access to a grocery store. I got a bullet blender and made smoothies in my room. And instead of eating at restaurants I'd get to-go salads at grocery stores. I had a cooler in my car sometimes too, lol.

 

I guess you have to decide which is more important to you- drinking or losing weight. If you don't want to cut out drinking completely, just take a few nights off. Give yourself 2 nights a week to enjoy yourself...sometimes I substitute with tea. Tea is not as cool as vodka but I try to train my brain to appreciate healthier things.

 

Keep up the walking- sounds like you're doing great!

 

 

Heat is really atrocious but for now , I'd have to suck it up and hopefully I won't drop because of heat exhaustion ,

 

I took an amazing walk yesterday , it was unplanned so there I was with my smart casual clothes , I was completely drenched afterwards but it was well worth it .

 

I bought some kale salad and brought some fillet mignons , seared them with olive oil and had a somewhat healthy dinner .

[clia]

Have you tried any of the suggestions given previously about working out at home? DVDs, You Tube videos, jumping jacks, burpees, push-ups, mountain climbers, squats, other body weight exercises (Google it) are all free. There are a million workout routines available on Pinterest also.

 

You also got a lot of advice in your walking thread about eating right and how to work alcohol into your diet. Have you tried any of it? The short answer is, if you can squeeze in a couple hundred calories for one drink in the evening, based upon your calculated calorie consumption to lose weight, then you can easily still have a drink sometimes. Most people skip it because they would rather use the calories on real food. If you love Italian food, substitute zucchini noodles for pasta to save calories.

[Mr Scorpio]

1-Seeing all those well toned guys makes me feel worse about myself , like , they'll snicker and say see that fat dude trying to work out

 

F*** em. Seriously. Anyone who would think that isn't someone whose opinion you should be concerned with. There is only one person whose opinion matters on this subject and that is you. Frankly, anyone who has time to focus on someone else's workout is wasting time. You'll notice them: dudes just leaning up against the bench talking about BS when other people are waiting to get some work done.

 

2-I don't know how gym equipment work , and the assistants at the gym are kinda rude when they see someone who is not an athletic looking , because they thing like they are not serious about working out , or the equipment are pretty much easy to use.

 

F*** em. Seriously. There are plenty of personal trainers -- some good some bad -- who work exclusively with beginners teaching bio-mechanics and proper technique. If you're stuck with a bunch of over-tanned dbags with hair-gel and barbed-wire tats on their triceps then find a different gym (or go at a different time).

 

I hate my body , I admit it is not the worst body ever , its just ugly , fat behind and a belly .. just awful and I want to do something about that by working out . but then there is the problem.

 

Well you already know the answer to this dilemma. My advice? Break the main goal into mini-goals. So you want a "good looking" body? Baby steps!

 

First commit to simply going to the gym three days a week. Even if you're only there a half-hour. Get into the routine of going. Meet that number. Start with light-cardio and focus on an attainable number. Maybe walking at 3mph for 30 minutes. Build from there.

 

Try to learn one new exercise a week. Make it for a different body part each time. A lot of your progress can simply be figuring out what exercises you like (yay dips!) and hate (boo lunges!).

 

Beyond that? Understand that you aren't alone in this fear. Plenty of people have it. Own it! Think about how all those other people would feel and know that you're overcoming that fear.

 

The analogy I'd use here is public speaking. My approach in elementary school was to focus on the fact that: (1) no one else wanted to be up infront of the class giving a report, (2) they were either glad that they were already done or dreading their turn, and (3) they likely didn't care what I (or anyone else) had to say. That approach has always worked for me, from wedding speeches to the courtroom and all points in-between.

[Audacious]

It is funny , I never had a problem with public speaking but I see the analogy ,

my problem is my body image , I hate it so much this is why I am trying to change it .

 

I went for a one hour walk yesterday and felt really good about it , I had a few grams of pasta before that ... I think that I should make pasta a once a week thing right ?

 

I snacked on whole bread with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar

today , I am going for grilled chicken with kale salad .

 

facing problems with snacking but today I snacked on apples instead of junk food

[caregiver]

First off, I was an NSCA certified trainer. That was a long time ago but the lessons still apply.

Go to the library and get some books on fitness. Go online and study everything and take most of what you see with a grain of salt. There are plenty of really good body building websites to find great information and its all free.

 

Learn the exercises and learn the proper form. Stay away from supplements until you really research them and understand how they work. There is no miracle pill or powder that will change your body. The miracle will happen when you learn about your body and how it reacts to exercise.

 

People get body building and fitness easily confused. You don't have to be a body builder to look really good. And you don't have to lift huge weights to get in really good health.

 

You need to combine strength training, (weight training) with cardio training and diet.

 

Think of your body as a machine with lots of engines making things run. Your muscles are the engines. When you get out of shape, all of those engines become really inefficient at burning fuel. Fat, carbs, protein are all fuels those engines burn. By strengthening your muscles they get better at burning those fuels. Muscle is what burns the fat. The more muscle the more fat you burn. Once you build enough muscle, you might have to actually increase your caloric intake.

 

Starting out, you need to eat healthy foods. Don't cut back to the point that you don't have the energy to do your workouts. Getting the muscles to burn the fats is priority one. So eat the right foods but don't worry initially about your actual weight. If you get into a weight training program the changes will happen.

 

Seriously, get some up to date books. The science of training and body building changes constantly. Learn a few exercises for each body part and get started.

 

My routines were a little over an hour or so each day. 5 days a week. I would do one muscle group each day after stretching and about 20-30 minutes of cardio a day. Chest, shoulders, back, legs and arms. I would do abs almost every workout.

 

Its a simple routine and it gets results.

 

I think you might be using your fears about you appearance as an excuse. Stop. Other men do not check out over weight guys at the gym. They are too busy checking out the girls cause the weight training has increased the testosterone flowing thru their veins. They might check out other guys who are big just for comparison.

 

And you will find, most guys at the gym are very helpful and if you ask a question they will answer and help you get the form correct or tell you why they are doing a specific exercise. Ask the guys who look like they know what they are doing.

 

Personal trainers.

This is a tough one for me. If you are looking for one, ask what certifications they have and how much formal education to get those certifications. The company I worked for would not higher anyone with less than a bachelors degree. You will find in some big name gyms people who are called personal trainers and have very little actual formal training. Some gyms have their own classes and in a few nights of study, a person could pass a simple test and presto! They are a trainer.

 

And their job is to sell you expensive training packages and pile on the supplements. There was a product years ago that was finally banned by the FDA. Several supplements actually that taken without medical supervision could actually kill, and people died because they followed the advice of poorly trained trainers who were under pressure to push these overpriced and expensive products.

 

If you want a trainer, find one who has serious certs. Check those certs online. Ask for references and follow up on those and previous customers. There are some really good and sharp trainers. And there are some who maybe should try something else. NSCA certs are okay, ACSM was even better and I think that is still one of tougher ones to get. You really have to know the material. My experience is from about 15 years ago so take that with a grain of salt also.

 

There is nothing hard about this except getting yourself motivated to go to the gym. Once you get going, it will become a very enjoyable habit and you will be amazed at how you begin to feel. And when you are happy with what you accomplished, find some person at the gym who is struggling with their weight and what or how to do the exercises. Strike up a conversation and give them a helping hand.