Buddhist Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think the answer here is don't have contact with known liars, thieves and drunkards, unless you are a social worker and getting paid for it. Getting punched in the face by the gf, should really have been the last point of contact with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 because on some level, you dont' think you deserve any better. You need to get at why you have this consideration for yourself. I think the answer here is don't have contact with known liars, thieves and drunkards, unless you are a social worker and getting paid for it. Getting punched in the face by the gf, should really have been the last point of contact with this guy. Yeah she is one of the ones I'm in contact with too! Just since him and his new bit have started turning up in the same pub feel they are making a point Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 ve been seeing a councillor regarding why I can't say no to this guy in my life and that he is seriously bad news... Whenever anything happens if people find out he says im nuts,in lying how people shouldn't believe he went with me yet there's an ex gf and a gf on scene (who's married btw) who he never slags off. So why do it to me even said im a stalker yet goes off with me. When I'm seen talking to other men hell tell them im nuts or that he brags he's slept with me yet doesn't want me properly!! Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 You can say no. You choose not to. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I suggest you find a behavioral therapist to work with you in changing how you cope with situations..... sounds to me this counselor isn't working for you if you are coming here for advice. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Who cares if it fits the dictionary definition for abusive or not? The relationship is clear y dead as a dodo so you should NC him and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 I suggest you find a behavioral therapist to work with you in changing how you cope with situations..... sounds to me this counselor isn't working for you if you are coming here for advice. But he does it behind my bk Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 People on here will be aware of my circumstances but I really am struggling to go out! I tried going out sat but physically couldn't feel unsafe Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I suspect you will get more responses if you summarize your situation here instead of expecting people to dig through your old threads to find it. But anyway, I don't know your history but if there's a good reason you are feeling unsafe, can you talk to law enforcement? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I suspect you will get more responses if you summarize your situation here instead of expecting people to dig through your old threads to find it. But anyway, I don't know your history but if there's a good reason you are feeling unsafe, can you talk to law enforcement? Here's my story : I've gotten myself in a major pickle and need some wordsof wisdom or guidance to see which path to take.... Basically ive been involvedsexually with a guy on off for four years a general bad egg -alcoholic,compulsive liar,thief etc. Anyway he has never been full on honest with me on a no of occasions hehas made out he was single but wasn’t. I woke up one night to someone bashingat the door only to be punched several times in the face by his then girlfriendthat was a few years ago. I went with him again in April only for his thengirlfriend to find out and kick him out only for his ex gf from several yearsago to come back into his life and is also general nasty piece of work - shebefriended me when I first met him when I told her he had been with me andanother woman who he later moved in with. We ended up falling out as was using me to get one over on me andhim. She is married with a child. I really don’t know why but since April I have beenpassing on info to the ex from the womans husband in order for her to use itagainst them as really don’t like the one he is with now. I bumped into the guy in question two weeksago only for us to have a drunken thumble for him to then kick me out anddiscovering he has stolen money from my purse. Me being drunk and stupid I messaged the ex gf only for her to kick offand to tell everyone in my local pub what had happened and that im a slag andhave disgraced myself etc etc. That was two weeks ago I have kept a low key but I am nowscared to go out I am worried as I will be confronted verbally as somepeople are genuinely not pleased with me going as far as asking my friend toditch me as a friend. I was due to goout Saturday but physically felt I couldn’t. What do I do didn’t think the ex would kick up as much fuss as she has. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 People on here will be aware of my circumstances but I really am struggling to go out! I tried going out sat but physically couldn't feel unsafe I just glanced at a couple of your past threads... so your ex goes around threatening people, he's a liar and a drunk, he assaults people, he plays women, but you are still in love with him? Is that the gist of it (your posts aren't very coherent). Yeah, he doesn't sound safe. Do you have an opportunity to move? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Ok.... you don't need to live life like this. Be a better person, hang out with better people. This isn't normal life, this is ghetto trash life that normal people awkwardly laugh about. Stop hanging out at bars, stop drinking so much that you think it's a good idea to sleep with someone like this. Stop getting into everyone else's business. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I'm sorry but that was kind of hard to read and make sense of but if I read it correctly it appears you've fully participated in creating the chaos in your life. Bad decision making aside, if you're fearful of your life or being physically assaulted then call the cops and report the crime(s). At the very least, learn from this experience and STAY CLEAR OF THESE PEOPLE once and for all. It seems pretty simple to me. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 People on here will be aware of my circumstances but I really am struggling to go out! I tried going out sat but physically couldn't feel unsafe I thought you'd sorted yourself out.... last time you posted, you seemed to have a handle on how much of this you were - and are - causing for yourself. Remember? ...Actually, with so many thread merges, it's hard to find anything that makes sense. But basically, everyone agrees that the main problem with these people, is not what they say/ do, but that you keep playing into this drama and perpetuating the problem for yourself.... They're only a huge issue for you, because you keep diving in head first. So many threads, kaisergal and really, there's more drama in them than 'Dallas', 'Dynasty' and 'Peyton Place' combined. With a hefty slice of 'Nightmare on Elm Street' thrown in..... Oh dear..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I'm sorry but that was kind of hard to read and make sense of but if I read it correctly it appears you've fully participated in creating the chaos in your life. Bad decision making aside, if you're fearful of your life or being physically assaulted then call the cops and report the crime(s). At the very least, learn from this experience and STAY CLEAR OF THESE PEOPLE once and for all. It seems pretty simple to me. I haven't helped myself no even in beginning him saying he was single so many times should've known! Erm basically me and the ex since April ive been passing info to her so she can **** stir on who he's with (don't know what I was thinking) Don't know why she has kicked up such a massive fuss as she is an ex Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I thought you'd sorted yourself out.... last time you posted, you seemed to have a handle on how much of this you were - and are - causing for yourself. Remember? ...Actually, with so many thread merges, it's hard to find anything that makes sense. But basically, everyone agrees that the main problem with these people, is not what they say/ do, but that you keep playing into this drama and perpetuating the problem for yourself.... They're only a huge issue for you, because you keep diving in head first. So many threads, kaisergal and really, there's more drama in them than 'Dallas', 'Dynasty' and 'Peyton Place' combined. With a hefty slice of 'Nightmare on Elm Street' thrown in..... Oh dear..... Yes think that is exactly what ive done shouldve left them to it Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I just glanced at a couple of your past threads... so your ex goes around threatening people, he's a liar and a drunk, he assaults people, he plays women, but you are still in love with him? Is that the gist of it (your posts aren't very coherent). Yeah, he doesn't sound safe. Do you have an opportunity to move? It's the ex of his that is violent and is threatening that's what I worry bout Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 This whole situation makes me feel Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 well if you want to feel like something else, then DO something else. Otherwise, carry on exactly as you are, and nothing will ever, ever, ever change. Enjoy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) This is very blunt, but it needs to be said: Take responsibility for what you're doing to yourself. If you keep putting yourself in the firing line, you'll keep getting shot. You are responsible for your own wellbeing. That means you, and only you. Edited November 2, 2015 by Satu 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 This is very blunt, but it needs to be said: Take responsibility for what you're doing to yourself. If you keep putting yourself in the firing line, you'll keep getting shot. You are responsible for your own wellbeing. That means you, and only you. You are so right and that's what I need to find out why... Should've not phoned his ex don't know what I was thinking just was upset what he'd done and didn't think 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Did your parents raise you to be some guy's weekend bed partner? What's wrong with you that you can't JUST SAY NO? Why can't you just go SOMEWHERE ELSE and hang out? NONE of this is anyone's fault but yours. You see that, right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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