privategal Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It isn't just about a hobby. It's about a get-together that I have looked forward to for many years, and with some of my closest friends. I do understand what you are saying. What he did was horrible. I can't say I forgive it (I don't think something like that is forgivable) but I've made peace with it. I see it as due to his issues that I had no control over, so I have let go of it. I won't say it won't bring back some memories to see him. But they aren't good memories, and I don't want him or anything to do with him - and I don't care what he thinks, honestly. I just want to start living my life again. The way it has been the past few years, I'm sure it's clear to him that he has enough 'control' over me (which was always his thing) to cause me to avoid going to an event that he knows I loved. Ok then why ask input on the boards. Your ok...go. Each of our choices are only our own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Ok then why ask input on the boards. Your ok...go. Each of our choices are only our own. Because I wanted to hear all sides of it and work through it. I wanted to be sure, from others' reactions, that this was a good idea. I am too close to it, and if everyone would have said "horrible idea" I wanted to hear that too. Isn't that allowed on this forum? Sorry that I offended you. I appreciate your opinion, believe me. It made me think, and that's what I wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm a bit surprised he's taking a vacation when he still owes you a large amount of money. Exactly. Although technically it isn't costing him anything, as he lives there. Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 i wonder what will his reaction be when he sees you. i wonder if he'll have the nerve to come up to you and try to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 :sick:i wonder what will his reaction be when he sees you. i wonder if he'll have the nerve to come up to you and try to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'll have beach's list of responses memorized and I'll use them randomly. He is pretty clear, from the last interaction my attorney had with him, that I'm not going to welcome a conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You have grown so much Hope. Others who aren't nearly as far in their "recovery" as you won't get it. They are still wrapped around either counting days of NC or still having day dreams of the xMM coming back to them...one day. You aren't even remotely in that camp. That's because you have done the hard work necessary to heal and MOVE ON. Go and enjoy yourself! You have more than earned it. And I love it that you have such good friends (no matter what gender they are) that have your back. Those friends are priceless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Because I wanted to hear all sides of it and work through it. I wanted to be sure, from others' reactions, that this was a good idea. I am too close to it, and if everyone would have said "horrible idea" I wanted to hear that too. Isn't that allowed on this forum? Sorry that I offended you. I appreciate your opinion, believe me. It made me think, and that's what I wanted. Not offended...I was feeling like one of those friends who is being protective over you. He doesn't even deserve to see you and know if you're ok. But in the end if you know your ok, and need to go, I only wish you the best time. Cheers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Not offended...I was feeling like one of those friends who is being protective over you. He doesn't even deserve to see you and know if you're ok. But in the end if you know your ok, and need to go, I only wish you the best time. Cheers. Its not about what he deserves. Hope deserves to live her life and she is at a point where she should no longer alter it for fear of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 i wonder what will his reaction be when he sees you. i wonder if he'll have the nerve to come up to you and try to talk. Hopefully Hope (I love the alliteration here) will be too busy lying on a beach, sipping a drink or doing whatever the hell she's doing to give a furry rodent's a$$ Seriously though, I'm so excited for you. I think it's wonderful that you have reached this point, no doubt through tremendous hard work and strength. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Its not about what he deserves. Hope deserves to live her life and she is at a point where she should no longer alter it for fear of him. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Not offended...I was feeling like one of those friends who is being protective over you. He doesn't even deserve to see you and know if you're ok. But in the end if you know your ok, and need to go, I only wish you the best time. Cheers. Thanks privategal. I appreciate it very much! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope Shimmers Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Hopefully Hope (I love the alliteration here) will be too busy lying on a beach, sipping a drink or doing whatever the hell she's doing to give a furry rodent's a$$ Seriously though, I'm so excited for you. I think it's wonderful that you have reached this point, no doubt through tremendous hard work and strength. Thank you!! I will keep you posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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