Is NC really for me?

[darkbloom]

I know this girl, she is not a "breadcrumb type" either she will contact me and want me back, or she will never contact me. Like you said, she doesn't want to give false hope.

 

And you should take that as the blessing that is is. And thank her for not being so selfish. Breadcrumbs are selfish and intended to keep you on the line as a back up plan. It is better to receive no contact from her than to receive a "hi" or a "what's up" or a "I just saw that movie we saw together. Miss you."

 

Let's be real, the only contact your heart wants from her is "I want you back."

[spiderowl]

No contact is painful but so is contact when it's not leading anywhere and reminding you of how you are hurting. The key thing to remember is if she wanted to be with you, she'd be in touch with you, trying to see you, and not wanting to see other guys. If she's not making an effort to be with you, she's not interested. It hurts, I know, but it's that fact that keeps us grounded and knowing that staying out of contact is best.

[DannyCA]

 

I blame myself completely for the outcome of this relationship, it was me who pushed her away with my bad jealous insecure actions. She was great to me, she treated me the best way anyone can treat someone yet i blew it. I had some issues from an earlier relationship, trust issues, that i hadn't resolved before i met this new girl and thats what is bugging me so much. I just wish i'd met her in some other time and place where i was completely healed.

 

What you wrote here is word for word my exact mind set when my ex broke up with me. As for the NC thing, it definitely is for you. I was almost a year NC, not even one look at social media. I was doing amazing actually. She would contact me about every 4 months, but I always deleted the message instantly.

 

Rewind back to the end of last year, I cracked and responded to her (I thought it's been almost 2 years, she has to be different!) No, she's still playing games all this damn time later.

 

Now fast forward to today, that almost year of NC feels wasted and I feel like I'm back to square one while she 99.9% chance has a new boyfriend.

 

In the end I have to count the positives. Everyday I grow as a better person, but I'm not even close to the kind of man I'd like to be. While I've made progress in the kind of man I'd like to be, I've completely thrown away the progress I made in moving on from her.

 

Don't make that mistake

[Everlastinglite]

Wow it feels like i wrote this.....i was the same way no too long ago n even today still stuggle with it. But i know EXACTLY how u feel. My ex boyfriend n i broke up and i forced myself not to contact him n it was the most devestating thing ever!! He was the first thing i though of in the morning n the last thing i thought of as i went to sleep. I know what a broken heart feels like..it feels like u want to just run away from ur mind and fly away from everything bc its just that painful.

But guess what, u arnt doing a favor for her...its 100% for u and only u. Erase her from ur mind n thought and yes, i know how impossible that sounds! But if shes not in ur thoughts, things will begin to look better for u. Just as soon as u think about her n u know u cant...immediatly think of something else that makes u HAPPY instead. Like meeting someone new, that nice place u saw, a great achievement u made lol anything. It will get ur mind off her n u will start to think of other things worth ur time n energy. Good luck i know its hard but take it from me going through this as well...one door closed two doors open

[dvx]

And you should take that as the blessing that is is. And thank her for not being so selfish. Breadcrumbs are selfish and intended to keep you on the line as a back up plan. It is better to receive no contact from her than to receive a "hi" or a "what's up" or a "I just saw that movie we saw together. Miss you."

 

Let's be real, the only contact your heart wants from her is "I want you back."

Still there is not a single second that goes by without me wishing for any contact from here, even the smallest crumb. But I think the urge is so big after the crumb is because I know her type, that crumb will never come. Neither will the "let's get back together" message. And it sucks so bad. I could see the determination in her eyes and voice the last time we saw each other. Yet and still I'm hoping and having false hopes.

 

What you wrote here is word for word my exact mind set when my ex broke up with me. As for the NC thing, it definitely is for you. I was almost a year NC, not even one look at social media. I was doing amazing actually. She would contact me about every 4 months, but I always deleted the message instantly.

 

Rewind back to the end of last year, I cracked and responded to her (I thought it's been almost 2 years, she has to be different!) No, she's still playing games all this damn time later.

 

Now fast forward to today, that almost year of NC feels wasted and I feel like I'm back to square one while she 99.9% chance has a new boyfriend.

 

In the end I have to count the positives. Everyday I grow as a better person, but I'm not even close to the kind of man I'd like to be. While I've made progress in the kind of man I'd like to be, I've completely thrown away the progress I made in moving on from her.

 

Don't make that mistake

Well you def are much more strong then me if you could hang out for more then a year of NC. Plus atleast she reached out to you. Im still hoping that will happen to me.

Wow it feels like i wrote this.....i was the same way no too long ago n even today still stuggle with it. But i know EXACTLY how u feel. My ex boyfriend n i broke up and i forced myself not to contact him n it was the most devestating thing ever!! He was the first thing i though of in the morning n the last thing i thought of as i went to sleep. I know what a broken heart feels like..it feels like u want to just run away from ur mind and fly away from everything bc its just that painful.

But guess what, u arnt doing a favor for her...its 100% for u and only u. Erase her from ur mind n thought and yes, i know how impossible that sounds! But if shes not in ur thoughts, things will begin to look better for u. Just as soon as u think about her n u know u cant...immediatly think of something else that makes u HAPPY instead. Like meeting someone new, that nice place u saw, a great achievement u made lol anything. It will get ur mind off her n u will start to think of other things worth ur time n energy. Good luck i know its hard but take it from me going through this as well...one door closed two doors open

 

Well yeah that is exactly how I'm feeling. And tbh there is nothing that makes me happy right now. It's just another day another struggle with the hope she will reach out. Each day that passes gets harder, knowing it's getting darker and darker on the hope side that she will ever reach out.

[darkbloom]

I still hold on to the (unrealistic) hope that he will contact me. He broke up with me but I ended it for good. His parting words were 'I know you and I know you won't change your mind about me.' He saw it in my eyes that I was serious about not allowing him to break my heart anymore. As much as I would like to go back to that place with him, I cannot. It is broken. I don't think I will ever be able to forget and move past what he did to me. I am mourning for who we used to be. If it were possible to go back to that place with him where there was no hurt I would absolutely do it.

 

 

It took me over 2 months to accept even the remote possibility that we would not get back together. The original reason I came to LS was because I wanted to figure out how to get him back. I will even shamefully admit that I originally went NC in the attempts of winning him back. But then I read the posts on this website and the light clicked. I am NOT special or unique. I am allowing my heartache to continue because I am stuck in a cycle of a toxic relationship. The best scenario for me would be if we never speak again. If the possibility comes for talking to him again it is just going to open that scab up. He knows me so well that I figure that he will keep NC indefinitely with me. Maybe that's the best thing for me. I still miss him like hell sometimes. I miss his comfort. But I am healing.

[dvx]

I still hold on to the (unrealistic) hope that he will contact me. He broke up with me but I ended it for good. His parting words were 'I know you and I know you won't change your mind about me.' He saw it in my eyes that I was serious about not allowing him to break my heart anymore. As much as I would like to go back to that place with him, I cannot. It is broken. I don't think I will ever be able to forget and move past what he did to me. I am mourning for who we used to be. If it were possible to go back to that place with him where there was no hurt I would absolutely do it.

 

 

It took me over 2 months to accept even the remote possibility that we would not get back together. The original reason I came to LS was because I wanted to figure out how to get him back. I will even shamefully admit that I originally went NC in the attempts of winning him back. But then I read the posts on this website and the light clicked. I am NOT special or unique. I am allowing my heartache to continue because I am stuck in a cycle of a toxic relationship. The best scenario for me would be if we never speak again. If the possibility comes for talking to him again it is just going to open that scab up. He knows me so well that I figure that he will keep NC indefinitely with me. Maybe that's the best thing for me. I still miss him like hell sometimes. I miss his comfort. But I am healing.

 

Thanks for sharing that. So basically he would try to reach out for you but he knows that you would deny him no matter what, that is why he is silent, because he is afraid of rejection? But yet you hold on to hope that he will contact you? Doesn't really make much sense to me tbh. I don't know your whole story or how your relationship was.

 

But you do sound like my ex. Once she is done she is done, but it's just been 17 days since i stopped begging and being needy to her and went silent, so i guess it's too soon to tell and too soon to lose all hope, even though i know her type. She is a tough woman and even if she will miss me with time, i think she will be just like you. Determined and 100% sure of her decision.

 

Which sucks for me since I'm the dumpee that did a couple of misstakes and i really want her back at all cost. She was worth the best and i screwed up.

[darkbloom]

Thanks for sharing that. So basically he would try to reach out for you but he knows that you would deny him no matter what, that is why he is silent, because he is afraid of rejection? But yet you hold on to hope that he will contact you? Doesn't really make much sense to me tbh. I don't know your whole story or how your relationship was.

 

But you do sound like my ex. Once she is done she is done, but it's just been 17 days since i stopped begging and being needy to her and went silent, so i guess it's too soon to tell and too soon to lose all hope, even though i know her type. She is a tough woman and even if she will miss me with time, i think she will be just like you. Determined and 100% sure of her decision.

 

Which sucks for me since I'm the dumpee that did a couple of misstakes and i really want her back at all cost. She was worth the best and i screwed up.

 

 

 

I have never posted my whole story. It is too shameful. But I am the dumpee for all intents and purposes. I forced the last conversation and I started the NC.

 

 

Let me see if I can break this down because it honestly confuses me too.

 

 

1. I am very stubborn. When I make up my mind, that is it. No matter how much I may want to change it later. That is just who I am.

2. I was the most important person in his life. He told me that he could not live without me in his life. (Spoiler alert : He is alive and well and breathing without me).

3. I found out he cheated on me but this information came to me after we had already broken up and I had started NC. I broke NC to confirm this information and we had a huge final blow up fight. He still wanted to remain friends or maybe he would have eventually tried to come back. I think he is scared to contact me. He is deathly afraid of rejection and of me hurting him. (But it's okay for him to hurt me, clearly). That is why he said that I have made up my mind about him. I said some really nasty things like he is going to end up like his dad who is a complete womanizer and on his second divorce. It was ugly.

 

 

So he probably feels he is respecting my wishes by remaining NC. He is also saving himself from being hurt by me. It's a good thing I am not vengeful because I could have ruined his entire life had I chosen to. I did not. I went NC.

[dvx]

I have never posted my whole story. It is too shameful. But I am the dumpee for all intents and purposes. I forced the last conversation and I started the NC.

 

 

Let me see if I can break this down because it honestly confuses me too.

 

 

1. I am very stubborn. When I make up my mind, that is it. No matter how much I may want to change it later. That is just who I am.

2. I was the most important person in his life. He told me that he could not live without me in his life. (Spoiler alert : He is alive and well and breathing without me).

3. I found out he cheated on me but this information came to me after we had already broken up and I had started NC. I broke NC to confirm this information and we had a huge final blow up fight. He still wanted to remain friends or maybe he would have eventually tried to come back. I think he is scared to contact me. He is deathly afraid of rejection and of me hurting him. (But it's okay for him to hurt me, clearly). That is why he said that I have made up my mind about him. I said some really nasty things like he is going to end up like his dad who is a complete womanizer and on his second divorce. It was ugly.

 

 

So he probably feels he is respecting my wishes by remaining NC. He is also saving himself from being hurt by me. It's a good thing I am not vengeful because I could have ruined his entire life had I chosen to. I did not. I went NC.

Well if he cheated on top of it all, i can fully understand your determination. (Even if the cheating was only the tip of the iceberg in your case) Actions speak louder then words. You don't cheat on the one you say you can't live without. Either way your story sounds quite complicated and i would love to read the whole thing, whenever you're ready, no story is too shameful and no need to feel that. I think your ex is so regretful and shameful over what he did that he doesn't even have the guts to reach out.

 

Well i did the most shameful things too, i cried, begged the first week, felt like a complete weak kid when she said those words, it felt like i gave her my whole manhood into her palms. Yeah i admit i was jealous and started being too needy during the last month of the relation, I know exactly where i did wrong. But i never lied to her, never cheated. I think it will be her loss in the end. I know I'm a good guy, that just needed more time to find myself and start trusting again. I guess she didn't want to wait or had the patience.

 

But i jumped on NC fully after less then 2 weeks after BU (before i made any more damage) and I'm glad i did. Even though i pushed her away so far she blocked me from all social media and refused to answer my texts or calls. I just hope i didn't push her away for good with the begging/stalking bit.

[DannyCA]

 

 

Well you def are much more strong then me if you could hang out for more then a year of NC. Plus atleast she reached out to you. Im still hoping that will happen to me.

 

 

Well I can tell you why I still want her to contact me, but that reason has changed 3 times. The reason I want her to contact me now is probably the final time it is ever gonna change.

 

But I'm curious, why are you still hoping for her to contact you?

[darkbloom]

Well if he cheated on top of it all, i can fully understand your determination. (Even if the cheating was only the tip of the iceberg in your case) Actions speak louder then words. You don't cheat on the one you say you can't live without. Either way your story sounds quite complicated and i would love to read the whole thing, whenever you're ready, no story is too shameful and no need to feel that. I think your ex is so regretful and shameful over what he did that he doesn't even have the guts to reach out.

 

Well i did the most shameful things too, i cried, begged the first week, felt like a complete weak kid when she said those words, it felt like i gave her my whole manhood into her palms. Yeah i admit i was jealous and started being too needy during the last month of the relation, I know exactly where i did wrong. But i never lied to her, never cheated. I think it will be her loss in the end. I know I'm a good guy, that just needed more time to find myself and start trusting again. I guess she didn't want to wait or had the patience.

 

But i jumped on NC fully after less then 2 weeks after BU (before i made any more damage) and I'm glad i did. Even though i pushed her away so far she blocked me from all social media and refused to answer my texts or calls. I just hope i didn't push her away for good with the begging/stalking bit.

 

It is so shameful that I would kick my own ass if I could. I ignored red flags and I got myself in deeper with him than I ever should have. I have contemplated telling the story but I don't know what bits to leave in and which to cut out. Maybe one day when I'm feeling brave I will post it. I never lied or cheated. I got myself in some situations that were risqué, but I always called him if I needed help and I always told him what happened.

 

My ex and I shared almost 6,000 text messages a month. Since NC my texts are well below 1,000. He was literally a contast presence in my life.

 

I am letting him go for my own sake. I know everyone on here says that I will find someone else. I've only ever found 2 people in my entire life that I would date and could date. And he was one of them. I don't beleive in soul mates but I do beleive in connections. And we had one that would have total strangers stop and ask us about it.

 

That's the hardest part of letting go.

[dvx]

Well I can tell you why I still want her to contact me, but that reason has changed 3 times. The reason I want her to contact me now is probably the final time it is ever gonna change.

 

But I'm curious, why are you still hoping for her to contact you?

 

In your previous post you stated that she was playing games and stuff with you and she hasn't changed in 2 years. Plus that you think she has a new boyfriend. Why do you still want her to contact you? What makes you believe it would be different this time?

 

Im hoping because this was the most truthful girl i've ever meet. No game playings, no lies, just love, compassion, caring and loyalty is what she showed since day one. Yet i screwed up with my bare hands. I took her for granted.

 

Biggest mistakes of my life. That's why i need her back. To give her what i should of given when i was with her. I had some issues i needed to work on before i met her due to a previous relationship that involved game playing, lies, etc. I took those problems into the new relationship.

Edited April 8, 2015 by dvx

[dvx]

It is so shameful that I would kick my own ass if I could. I ignored red flags and I got myself in deeper with him than I ever should have. I have contemplated telling the story but I don't know what bits to leave in and which to cut out. Maybe one day when I'm feeling brave I will post it. I never lied or cheated. I got myself in some situations that were risqué, but I always called him if I needed help and I always told him what happened.

 

My ex and I shared almost 6,000 text messages a month. Since NC my texts are well below 1,000. He was literally a contast presence in my life.

 

I am letting him go for my own sake. I know everyone on here says that I will find someone else. I've only ever found 2 people in my entire life that I would date and could date. And he was one of them. I don't beleive in soul mates but I do beleive in connections. And we had one that would have total strangers stop and ask us about it.

 

That's the hardest part of letting go.

 

Just noticed, you were the user with the Tupac pic? I always thought you were a dude. Nice to see a another Tupac fan, plus female one.

 

Anyways, don't be so hard on yourself. Kick the shame out. Take the time you need.

 

I can relate with the connection thing, felt that connection with her too. She did too. It just felt like it was too good to be true for me, i never had experienced so much love and caring like she gave me. Dumb as i am i started to doubt my self when things were going so well and started getting comfortable and taking her for granted. I would love to let her know that I'm making progress and have changed for the better. But I'm not completely there yet. Plenty of changing left to do.

[darkbloom]

Just noticed, you were the user with the Tupac pic? I always thought you were a dude. Nice to see a another Tupac fan, plus female one.

 

Anyways, don't be so hard on yourself. Kick the shame out. Take the time you need.

 

I can relate with the connection thing, felt that connection with her too. She did too. It just felt like it was too good to be true for me, i never had experienced so much love and caring like she gave me. Dumb as i am i started to doubt my self when things were going so well and started getting comfortable and taking her for granted. I would love to let her know that I'm making progress and have changed for the better. But I'm not completely there yet. Plenty of changing left to do.

 

I am the tupac picture. Other users *cough* kenmore *cough* have suggested that I change that picture and that rap is crap. I wholeheartedly disagree.

 

I am indeed a female and sometimes I'm a moron. The shame thing is okay. I earned it. I am also ashamed of him and I've never been ashamed of anybody in my life.

 

He took me for granted too. There's nothing that can be done to change it now. I don't think I would beleive it even if he could show me.

[Simon Phoenix]

I am the tupac picture. Other users *cough* kenmore *cough* have suggested that I change that picture and that rap is crap. I wholeheartedly disagree.

 

I am indeed a female and sometimes I'm a moron. The shame thing is okay. I earned it. I am also ashamed of him and I've never been ashamed of anybody in my life.

 

He took me for granted too. There's nothing that can be done to change it now. I don't think I would beleive it even if he could show me.

 

Someone actually told you to change the picture because they didn't like rap music? That's one of the more bizarre requests I've heard on here. I have nothing else to add really.

[dvx]

I am the tupac picture. Other users *cough* kenmore *cough* have suggested that I change that picture and that rap is crap. I wholeheartedly disagree.

 

I am indeed a female and sometimes I'm a moron. The shame thing is okay. I earned it. I am also ashamed of him and I've never been ashamed of anybody in my life.

 

He took me for granted too. There's nothing that can be done to change it now. I don't think I would beleive it even if he could show me.

 

Pac is a legend, whether u like rap or not.

 

I see, well from the sound of it, i doubt i did anywhere near the amount of damage your ex has done. Im just not sure if i should ever try to reach out to her again, ( i doubt she ever will ). What do you think? And if yes after how long? 30 days, 60? I just can't bare the thought of me reaching out and her not even answering. It would kill me and head me straight back to day 1.

[darkbloom]

Pac is a legend, whether u like rap or not.

 

I see, well from the sound of it, i doubt i did anywhere near the amount of damage your ex has done. Im just not sure if i should ever try to reach out to her again, ( i doubt she ever will ). What do you think? And if yes after how long? 30 days, 60? I just can't bare the thought of me reaching out and her not even answering. It would kill me and head me straight back to day 1.

 

I would set yourself 30 and 60 day goals. But honestly, it's not on a timeline. You can reach out to her when she can't hurt you anymore. When you can send her an olive branch and be 100% okay if she never responds to you. It's all in how you are feeling.

[DannyCA]

In your previous post you stated the she was playing games and stuff and hasn't changed in 2 years. Plus that you think she has a new boyfriend. Why do you still want her to contact you? What makes you believe it would be different this time?

 

Im hoping because this was the most truthful girl i've ever meet. No game playings, no lies, just love, compassion, caring and loyalty is what she showed since day one. Yet i screwed up with my bare hands. I took her for granted.

 

Biggest mistakes of my life. That's why i need her back. To give her what i should of given when i was with her. I had some issues i needed to work on before i met her due to a previous relationship that involved game playing, lies, etc. I took those problems into the new relationship.

 

I'm going to assume your "issues" from a previous relationship was a sense of insecurity. Same thing with me. My first gf ever (in highschool) cheated on me, this created an immense amount of insecurity in me for this future relationship.

 

So even though she broke up with me, I gave her the reasons to. If you want, I can go a little further into what I mean by "I gave her the reasons".

 

Now this is actually where it's hard for me to explain. Because when we were together, there were no games, only love and compassion and great vibes. At 21, I could see myself with her for the rest of my life. Our relationship grew stronger and stronger everyday until that one day we broke up.

 

When I say she is still playing games, that's actually more of an assumption now days. When we first broke up though, she was playing games like no other. This pissed me off cause it was like I blinked and she wasn't even remotely close to the person I used to know.

 

I told you my reason for wanting her to contact me has changed 3 times.

1.) When we first broke up, I wanted her to contact me in hope of reconciliation because I was weak and didn't know how to continue with my daily routine without her.

 

2.) During my one year strict NC, I wanted her to contact me because I never responded, but she kept and kept on trying. It felt good to give her a taste of her own medicine (and I actually was moving on even though I thought about her every now and then).

 

3.) Finally now, with a better sense of who I am (I can't stress enough I'm not done growing as a person) I want her to contact me because I still can't see myself with anyone else in the future other than her. Two years post break up, I can compare and contrast what it was like to sleep around, casually see other women, and also full on date another woman (who was amazing) compared to dating my ex. Still my ex comes out on top. Every other woman that has come into my life in the last 2 years has been so 2nd rate and simply doesn't come close.

 

The problem with #3 though is that if she contacted me tomorrow asking me to get back together, I would have to decline because I'm not happy with myself. I'm not the man I'd like to be. If you are not happy with yourself, you can't be with anyone else.

 

You asked me what makes me think it will be different this time? Honestly, I couldn't give you an answer to that. I don't even know if she's really dating this guy, it just seems very very very likely she is. All I can do is hope and believe (fu***** cheesy right?)

 

Look, I've always been a bit more cynical than most, so I have never believed in fairy tales and blah blah. But when it comes to this girl, despite all the crap we've put each other through for 2 years, I have to believe everything we were, how we made each other feel wasn't for nothing. In the past 2 years I have done so much growing and maturing as an individual and when I met up with her I could tell she has done so too. It's hard for me to explain, but it's the kind of growing that would not have happened if we were together. I have to believe that all the growing as individuals we have done apart was meant to make us better people not so we would end up with other people, but so we would end up with each other in the end

 

If I had to count all the things I regret in life so far, I wouldn't even need one hand. Life's too short to be regretting sh**. Here's where my cynicism kicks back in: there are 7 billion people on this planet, I guarantee you there are at least a million better matches out there for both you and I, but when I really think about it, and I've been thinking about it for 2 years, I don't know if I can be satisfied in life if I just give up on her.

 

I have to believe that deep down she does still love me, that somehow, someway, we will end up together

[LYNNLH]

I am the tupac picture. Other users *cough* kenmore *cough* have suggested that I change that picture and that rap is crap. I wholeheartedly disagree.

 

I am indeed a female and sometimes I'm a moron. The shame thing is okay. I earned it. I am also ashamed of him and I've never been ashamed of anybody in my life.

 

He took me for granted too. There's nothing that can be done to change it now. I don't think I would beleive it even if he could show me.

 

LOl DB...bolded part..me too.

 

I am ashamed that I was ever in a relationship with the Piece of Crap..because it reflects how bad my choices were in men and worse of all..my lack of self esteem.

 

I took a vow that I will never mention him ever again to new people (those who don't know about my past)..this is what I will tell people now.."oh..I have been single since my divorce in 2006 and I've just dated casually these past 7 years"

 

I even told acquaintances he has since passed away *snicker*..yeah..I'm horrible but who cares..he has hurt and betrayed my trust really bad with his skewed outlook on respect and responsibilities.

Edited April 8, 2015 by LYNNLH

[darkbloom]

LOl DB...bolded part..me too.

 

I am ashamed that I was ever in a relationship with the Piece of Crap..because it reflects how bad my choices were in men and worse of all..my lack of self esteem.

 

I took a vow that I will never mention him ever again to new people (those who don't know about my past)..this is what I will tell people now.."oh..I have been single since my divorce in 2006 and I've just dated casually these past 7 years"

 

I even told acquaintances he has since passed away *snicker*..yeah..I'm horrible but who cares..he has hurt and betrayed my trust really bad with his skewed outlook on respect and responsibilities.

 

I literally didn't know what people meant when they said they were ashamed of someone. I now understand completely. He asked me if I wanted to hug him when we had our last fight. I recoiled at the thought. Even touching him would have felt shameful after everything. I just knew that I wanted as much space between me and him and me as possible.

 

I'm going to blame my heart for this one. So shameful

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

 

I'm going to blame my heart for this one. So shameful

 

You're too hard on yourself. No matter how "shameful" a part of your past is, it's best not to dwell on it.

[darkbloom]

You're too hard on yourself. No matter how "shameful" a part of your past is, it's best not to dwell on it.

 

Trying not to blame myself. There's a lot of things I ignored though that cause me shame.

 

I've never been ashamed of anything I've ever done until I got into a relationship with him.

 

I'm a smart girl that made poor decisions. Forgiving yourself is a b-tch.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

Trying not to blame myself. There's a lot of things I ignored though that cause me shame.

 

I've never been ashamed of anything I've ever done until I got into a relationship with him.

 

I'm a smart girl that made poor decisions. Forgiving yourself is a b-tch.

 

 

Think of it as better learning what you want in a guy. You had an unpleasant experience and made decisions that you will eventually come to terms with and learn from.

 

And you are definitely smart, what posts I've seen of yours reflect that. They also make me increasingly curious to what your story is. You're a very cryptic one.

[darkbloom]

Think of it as better learning what you want in a guy. You had an unpleasant experience and made decisions that you will eventually come to terms with and learn from.

 

And you are definitely smart, what posts I've seen of yours reflect that. They also make me increasingly curious to what your story is. You're a very cryptic one.

 

I am contemplating posting my whole story. I have written it. And rewritten it. And deleted it without posting it. I can't decide what parts to tell and what to keep out of the story.

 

I wanted to believe in him and to make it work. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I am insane.

 

As for finding another guy, I KNOW that everyone posts that they are going to be single forever. I do. That's how I feel in this current moment. That may change and it may not. I've literally only met two guys that I've ever wanted to date in my entire life. And he was one of them.

[Van Norden]

As for finding another guy, I KNOW that everyone posts that they are going to be single forever. I do. That's how I feel in this current moment. That may change and it may not. I've literally only met two guys that I've ever wanted to date in my entire life. And he was one of them.

As for posting your whole story, go ahead. I've done it as well and felt relieved, though my bitter self tells me that **** keeps on stinking as well.

As for remaining single, no way. You'll do better, trust me. If you want some relief, please read my gender inequality thread (that got 0 responses though I think it sums up perfectly why I think you'll do better than most of us men will).

 

Just take a look at statistics: I'm extremely picky too. I've rejected 5+ women at my tender age (24), without being the sexiest man alive precisely. Still I've managed to find my ex, who was the perfect one. Only one I ever knew. She's gone now. Oh. Too ****ing bad.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/523255-coping-gender-inequality