PogoStick Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 OK I don't like this whore anymore. Next time you talk I suggest you ask if she's been putting on weight lately. And say her adam's apple is looking big, kind of like a tranny. Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You should apologize profusely and then set your intentions to never speak that way to anyone ever again. She will never go out with you at this point, and really, how could you respect her if she did, after the verbal abuse you have heaped upon her?? She probably said "you're cool," because she now thinks you are a psycho and she just wants to minimize the drama while getting the f away from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I actually wasn't trying to sleep with her. I just wanted some kind sign that she liked me back and wasn't just teasing me. A kiss back on the lips would have been fine. I wouldn't have tried to sleep with her until I got her out on a date and we talked about our professional situation and how to handle it. She had previously agreed to go out on a date before I insulted her, so I guess she was interested. I knew she wouldn't be an easy lay because she's matured a lot from her past and even told me she made her ex BF wait a month. But yes, it annoyed me that she would not even kiss me, especially considering what I knew about her past. "you did all that but would not kiss me? wth is wrong with me?" is what i was thinking... I actually did respect her and treated her very respectfully until the point I insulted her. I listened to her and her life story. And I respected how she overcame some of her hardships. Live and you learn You exploited her trust and privacy. She apparently mistakenly felt you were safe to divulge her past with, but instead you took those things and used them against her. Then, you cranked it up several notches after that. I think she should throw a bunch of bloody tampons on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Oh and teasing a guy, pretending to be into him with intimate touching, face kissing, biting my neck and ear licking is all good? Let's just tease him and reject him. This girl is no mary poppins. I'll tell you guys that much. She is used to be touched by plenty of men, so that added more to it. Thanks for all the advice. I'm thinking the best thing to do is go NC or to insult her again. Did you ever consider that she could have been enjoying the difference of what she used to experience and trying to feel her way around not being an object? Maybe this is a process for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 once a guy calls me a whore thats it....i would counsel every woman not to date a guy who considers or calls them a whore...for not kissing no less........i dont blame the woman from not wanting to take it further with you.....honestly it doesnt matter if she was a whore in the past or had 300 bfs she kissed........she didnt want to kiss you you should have respected that ..... instead when she didnt kiss you you didnt offer her respect.....you got nasty.....you disrespected her......you verbally abused her ...she was gracious in accepting your apology...i think you should take this as a lesson in how not to treat a woman and take it into your next interest in a woman and treat that lady with the respect you forgot to give last time......more importantly....mean to give respect whole-heartedly not just so you can get what you want.............i wish you well....deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Oh and just so you know why I was even more frustrated than I normally would have been This girl admitted to me she used to entertain men for a living when her parents kicked her out at 18. I asked what that meant but she would not elaborate. I understand the frustration... But insulting is NEVER the way to fix things. What were you expecting to achieve by calling her names?!?!?! Also, the fact she did X Y or Z with someone else does not mean youre owed the same. Like just because I've had sex with previous guys it doesn't mean I'll have it with the next one. There is still NO excuse for how you behaved. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Well thank you for giving me some good advice...I will take it. And yes, to all you girls acting like I'm such a terrible person, you guys don't know me. Sometimes I do stupid things, I admit, but I mean well, but yes I have some maturing to do and need to get more in control of my emotions. I really do like this girl and I want to make things right, but I guess it's either she comes around on her own or she doesn't. Of course we don't know you. But we know enough about ourselves to know that we would never date someone who spoke to us like that. That's quite simple enough. It's understandable if she felt the same way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
DoesntGetIt Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 There is never an excuse for blowing up at someone in that way, calling them names, insulting just because you aren't getting your way. I think people here already know you better than you think. I'm a guy, so it isn't just the ladies that realize how horrible that is. I'd focus on figuring out why you think it is ok to act like that towards people and fix it before chasing any other women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lil_missy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 This girl hung out with you for 2 months being alone in your house, she was not forced to do this right? You tried to kiss her 40 times and got rejected? She is not into you and leading you on. My take is that you are correct in thinking she is using you as an emotional tampon. Combined with her past history of entertaining men, this girl is manipulative and teasing you. what decent girl hangs out with a guy alone in his house repeatedly and then reject him. A mature guy Prob wouldnt have lashed out at her and called her names but your judgement of her is basically correct. She was using you 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Oh Op.... You could have said a million things to her, but instead you picked the worst thing. Just chalk this up as one of those learning experiences, you have no chance with her now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lop98 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Don't date women until you get them sorted out. I am not sure counseling would do it for you. This, a hundred times, I thought it would be recommended in more than one post of this thread, I'm surprised it's only been you so far. None of this is remotely normal, the crazy reaction, the immediate apology, the whole passive aggressive behavior, not to mention the type of insults (sooo alcoholic/domestic abuse partner after a LONG history). You may ignore this and it's okay but since you're bound to hear it from more than one person: you need therapy, some anger management treatment or just diagnosis. I'm assuming you're still young so do it while you still can and before you embark on a long-term relationship (providing you get past couch cuddling!), this whole behavior only gets worse when untreated and your verbal abuse (which is a part of you, you were not suddenly possessed by some spirit while you did it) will lead to physical abuse if you try to ignore it. Seriously the sooner you come to terms with this problem, the better for you in the long run. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Yeah, I know. It was not even the whore comment that got to her. It was that fact that I said she got uglier and uglier. She is obsessed with her looks. She was always asking me dumb things like if her leg looked fat or if her ass was big enough... She reacted MUCH more enthusiastically to when I'd compliment her looks over some aspect of her personality. Hmmmm, I'm kinda confused as to why you would be interested in someone who would lead you on to this extent with a past such as she has (not that people don't change or aren't worthy bc of it)--but her past indicates maybe she knows exactly what she is doing and it's more than normal tease behavior. I think biting on ear etc is much more than cuddling and then being afraid to take it further (normal tease behavior). Obsessed with her looks is usually someone who trades on them. Sorry, it's true. I don't mean just as prostitute type stuff but girls who blantantly use their looks to gain advantage and are comfortable doing so. If a guy was interested in me but I wasn't sure if I was going to go forward with him or not and especially if we had a work relationship, the last place you would find me is at his house--over the course of two months at that. Poor judgement or a calculated move on her part. Either are not attractive to want a relationship with this person. If she liked you back but was kinda unsure, meet in neutral public place to keep it more neutral. Her intentions are suspect. I'm not excusing what you did, just wondering why you would be interested. Also if the hurtful things you said are what came to your mind in anger. I do think you'd be doomed as a couple. There's a lack of respect and contempt there inherent in your beliefs about her. And maybe in a way, you are picking up on things about her character that ARE a concern but part of you is interested in other parts of her, like having fun or even pursuit of having your efforts pay off. Bottom line, without high level of respect for the person you are dating, it's will never be a good relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Wow! That escalated quickly.... Dude, even if you were upset, why would you say something like that? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if said something like that to a girl, anyone really.... "I only give THE BEST of myself to others. The less than THE BEST i work on in my own time." Realize, what it means to live by that... Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I dont really think it is "leading on", if someone refused to kiss me i would get the hint very quickly (not after the 40th time) regardless of what else they did. Unless I have really bad breath. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I would also be pissed at her, but your reaction was utterly neurotic and childish. I guess the score is even now. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 She was using you 100%. You can't use someone who doesn't allow themselves to be used. At time #2-#40, he could have sat back and said "Hey, I really like you, do you like me?" etc, but he chose not to. When she said what she said, he could have said "Oh, then I'm not your guy. We need to stop this, then". He chose to go along with her "playing" 40 times because he was getting something out of it, too. He wasn't chained at her side and made to do anything, so no, she didn't use him. He put himself out there to receive and to participate with her. And if she wasn't running down her love life to him, she wasn't using him as an emotional tampon and friendzoning him--again-he put himself in the position to participate and receive because in his mind, he was collecting chips to cash in. He only blew up when he realized his currency on his terms was no good with her on her terms... 40 times in. Now that's just tragic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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