Author Concreteman78 Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Plus....I grabbed her tablet while she was sleeping Sunday evening....found the passcode to be the same as her phone. Went to her Facebook messenger........ And found 3 more guys she's talking to. Sex, bjs, fingering, weed, meeting up at work, home, bars, their houses, sending pics and nudes, etc.... even talking to them as I am asleep next to her!!!! I took 55 pics of the convos.... I've printed them out, and when I move out....she will find them spread out on the table for her to see the reason I'm gone. Utter disbelief in the lack of respect.....sickening 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Plus....I grabbed her tablet while she was sleeping Sunday evening....found the passcode to be the same as her phone. Went to her Facebook messenger........ And found 3 more guys she's talking to. Sex, bjs, fingering, weed, meeting up at work, home, bars, their houses, sending pics and nudes, etc.... even talking to them as I am asleep next to her!!!! I took 55 pics of the convos.... I've printed them out, and when I move out....she will find them spread out on the table for her to see the reason I'm gone. Utter disbelief in the lack of respect.....sickening She sounds as if she's completely unhinged. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Wow. Good riddance to this woman. Good thing you saw the real her before getting married or so. Women like this make me ashamed. Good luck in your new life and hopefully you learned something from this 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, you will feel like a free man very shortly -- and now you won't have any regrets because she piled insult on top of injury. Enjoy your new apartment. I remember the tremendous relief I felt my first day at my new apartment after moving our from my former best friend who had betrayed me horribly. I just laid on the floor and listened to music with my arms outstretched in this huge feeling of relief. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 It will be a huge relief....I just hope to get out and moved before she comes home. I do not like confrontation at all. I don't have much so it will be rough for the first few weeks. All I have is a bed, dresser, chest of drawers, tv, sound bar, huge tool box, welder, guitar, and my clothes. I have no dishes at all...lol nor any towels. So first thing I'm doing is buying the basic needs for my new place. Then slowly decorate it....I have the time and no one to answer to anymore. On another note....she laying on the couch to where I can see her iPhone. When she hits the home button twice...you can see recent people she's been texting. the second on the list is the guy I found her wanting to cuddle with the other day....I'm fourth on that list so she's been texting him since I got home.....probably while she's out in the garage smoking..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Good luck with your move. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Plus....I grabbed her tablet while she was sleeping Sunday evening....found the passcode to be the same as her phone. Went to her Facebook messenger........ And found 3 more guys she's talking to. Sex, bjs, fingering, weed, meeting up at work, home, bars, their houses, sending pics and nudes, etc.... even talking to them as I am asleep next to her!!!! I took 55 pics of the convos.... I've printed them out, and when I move out....she will find them spread out on the table for her to see the reason I'm gone. Utter disbelief in the lack of respect.....sickening Keep copies for yourself as well. Then if your boss creates about it you can calmly show them the print outs and say this is your reason and you don't think it warrents further discussion. I know its hard right now and you are hurting but if I were you I would just get up and go. You don't need to give anyone any explanations and actually those that hold their council are usually held in higher light by others than those who go off yelling about it. Pick one or two good friends that you can trust to talk to about this and of course if you want to talk to us please do. Good luck with your move and well done for being so brave. Its a bold but necessary move that you are taking here. Keep us posted. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well.....I went out and got me an apt on the complete opposite side of town today. I can move in friday. Sex, bjs, fingering, weed, meeting up at work, home, bars, their houses, sending pics and nudes, etc.... Congratulations! That's taking the bull by the horns... taking your life back on Friday! In one sense finding those messages could be seen as positive because you now know, with any doubt whatsoever, what kind of character she has (or is). Just make sure you don't generalize the resentment toward women overall- she's one individual, a bad apple. Enjoy creating your new living environment. I bet that welder will make a nice centerpiece. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 As for having not everything you need to set up your own home, remember when you first had your own home and had almost nothing and how much freedom you felt? Stuff isn't the most important thing. Probably some friends or relatives will help fix you up temporarily and you can always go to a few garage and estate sales and get all the necessities without spending much money at all. And remember eBay. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Good for you, OP! Stay the course and find your mojo again! You've let this girl drag you down for too long...you've let yourself be dragged down for too long. Start fresh and free! Don't let her manipulate you into staying..she has proven what type of person she is..untrustworthy, a user and a liar. We're all rooting for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Share Posted April 3, 2015 I greatly appreciate the support and advise you all have given. I am definitely nervous about tomorrow for she has zero clue it's happening. In fact....she has been on her best behavior the past couple days. Actually coming up to me, hugging and kissing me, complimenting the way I look and dress and all. I don't get it. For I can see glancing at her phone when she's messing with it she's been texting one of the guys again today. My sis thinks shes doing this because she feels bad. i dont know. It hurts for i did love this woman at one time, but i cant stay with someone that i cant trust....let alone the cheating, controlling, the smoking, money issues, lack of affection, zero physical relationship, being ignored, etc.... tomorrow i am leaving early and with two coworkers...getting all my stuff out. I just hope she goes to work tomorrow for I dont like confrontation and there is nothing to talk to her about. I just want to get out and leave the 67 pics i have printed out of her FB messenger to let that be my reason im gone. I have saved all the pics on a zip drive so I have it for later reference if needed. I do have the names of all the POS guys she was talking to....(they knew she had a bf). Sad thing is that she has her dads family coming over for this huge dinner and bowling tomorrow night. Then saturday she has a jewelry party saturday morning then she was going to intorduce me to her dads parents for the first time! I dont understand her at all.....treat me like a bf to her family....but cheat on me behind everyones back. Luckily, her neighbors now know about her and all shes doing. They are going to help me out with some household stuff that i dont have. But I had dinner with them last night while she was out getting her hair done. The neighbor lady has been friends with her for about as long as I have lived here. She told me things she has told her that if i knew then...i would not have been here now. She flat out admitted to her shes a whore and likes to sleep around. That she cant afford this place without me. that i am boring because i dont smoke weed. She also admits that she feels bad for how she treats me and that she has spending issues. and the 4 years she has lived in this condo....im the 4th guy to live here. I was under the understanding i was just #2. This whole thing is crazy, sad, depressing, hurtful, etc.... because not only am i dealing with this....I am dealing with a custody fight for my 3 year old son that moved to az a few weeks ago, my mom that has disowned me due to my divorce from 3 years ago, my huge job change, the fact i dont have my own vehicle due to my gf, etc. I am normally a strong guy...but damn....i can only take so much.... side note....i got pics of all 6 guys....and showed them to some friends....they all said omg hideous! Thats before i told them who they were too..........i dont consider my self no supermodel but I dress sharp, shave my head, have a beard, lift some free weights here and there and stay at a pretty consitant 205lbs at 6' tall. in other words....i take care of myself to look good. Guess it wasnt good enough for her....because all those guys are fat pudgy little ****s. I dont get it. Im just over here shaking my head......im just looking forward to saturday morning....when i can do whatever the hell i want with no worries of being cheated on or anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I just want to get out and leave the 67 pics i have printed out of her FB messenger to let that be my reason im gone. She flat out admitted to her shes a whore... If it were me, I'd be inclined to not leave those 67 pics and just let her wonder. She'll have no regret or remorse anyway. Caught red handed... just a cost of doing business to her. Not having a clue... priceless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I kind of agree with salparadise. She knows what she's doing and what she's done in this relationship. Don't leave the pics. If you're so inclined, maybe leave a note telling her that she should be able to figure out why you left and to not ever contact again. My advice to you OP is to stop dating for a while. Focus on the custody situation and bettering yourself. When you learn to love and value yourself, you will never allow yourself to be used and be weighed down by anyone again. Good luck and keep your head up. Your struggles will only make you stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 So...how did it all go, Concreteman? Are you waking up today a free man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 ok....well here it goes! I left work at noon to go pick up the rental truck. i haul a** to her place with one coworker in tow. We loaded all my belongings into the truck in less than an hour. My boss was keeping tabs on her whereabouts with Find My Friends. He sent us a message 15 min after we got there of her leaving work....crap! Luckily she must have met up with a guy after work because she went downtown for about 45 minutes. We got everything out and was on the road with less than 5 minutes to spare. I passed her a mile from her house! She started calling me about 15-20 minutes later. Heres the convo: Her: So you wont even talk to me? Her: I deserve for you to at least talk to me. Her: She sent two pics of emails i printed that random people sent me telling me shes cheating. She claimed this wasnt her. Her: The other stuff we can talk about, but I had nothing to do with that. Her: I would NEVER SAY that about you or Blaine (my son) Her: Please answer me Me: You cheated on me. With 6 different guys. texting and FB messaging them while Im in bed with you. Thats heartless, uncaring, cold, and sick. Sending them nudes and meeting up with them for sex, bjs, etc... Yet you've given me TWO bjs since I met you. TWO!!! I havent had sex with you in months. You wont even touch me. My opinion did not mean crap to you. Ive been nothing but a roommate with a paycheck that sleeps in the same bed as you. I would have worked on anything and everything with you....but cheating....that cant be fixed. Her: Please answer the phone Jesse. I DID NOT physically cheat on you. I didnt. I wont deny talking to Chris Leland, Ernest Brummet, or Jon Glaser But Ive never done anything with anyone. Her: I am ashamed about talking to other guys. Ive been unhappy. I wear full responsibility for that and I am sorry. Its disrespectful and you dont deserve it but that is it. I didnt ever do anything with anyone. Her: I should have been talking to you and working on things. I havent felt like you even cared about me in so long i didnt know what to do. But Ive never done anything because I want to work thins out with you. I do care about you and love you. Her: Whatever email that is about Blaine and wanting my condo back to myself is NOT ME though. I havent ever said anything bad about Blaine. Nor would I. Her: Are you seriously just not even going to talk to me? ME: Whats the point? If you loved and cared about me...you wouldnt be talking to 6 guys. And you did meet Chris Leland....your old **** buddy...that you did threesomes with. Skyping with him all the time and all. Her: No I didnt. Call him Me: Ill let you explain to your family why Blaine and I will no longer be there. Her: I havent seen him in years. Me: BS Her: Skype is the messenger thing i use at work. seriously ****ing call him Me: Shouldnt be skyping with him while you had a serious BF Her: I have NEVER NEVER physically done anything with anyone else. You have all his info, ask him. I have nothing to hide. Her: I cant believe you wont talk to me about this.. Your just walking away. Me: You cheated on me. Talking to other guys like you were....IS cheating. Her: Ok I admitting to that. So thats it then? Theres no room for us to work on things? Its just over? Me: You are free to go hug kiss f**k all those ugly a** guys...you know, Dave Parker, Ernest Brummet, Job Glaser, Chris Leland, Kristpher Carter, and Mat Black. Me: Too bad you didnt talk to me about your wants and sexual desires...you had no idea what I was into. Her: OK. Her: Theres obviously nothing I can say to you. Me: YOU CHEATED Her: I didnt. But Ok. Me: It doesnt take physical touching to cheat. Its emotional cheating Her: I admitted to that. What do you want me to do? Me: GET HELP. And that was that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 now I am hanging out with my friends that happen to live across the street from her. So now she can see my car sitting there. She messaged both of them yesterday asking if they knew....They responded that they did and dont know what to say. She said she hoped they could still be friends with her. They responded that they dont undertand her reasons to do what she did and they dont approve of it. They havent heard from her since. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Good for you to sticking to your guns. What I have seen on these forums, cheaters will always try to downplay their actions, even when they have been caught. On top of that, there were all those other things that were so negative, it was just a toxic relationship. All the best in your new single life! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Cheaters will always try to downplay their actions, even when they have been caught ^ Truth. Always go with what your instinct tells you and not how they downplay it to be. Good luck OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 And that was that. Good for you- glad you made the break. You just needed to get clear of that mess and you did what was necessary. You just can't let something that toxic dominate your life. Best of luck starting a new chapter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concreteman78 Posted April 5, 2015 Author Share Posted April 5, 2015 She finally deleted me off FB, and her mom did too. I think she finally did because of me posting a thing on my FB that I had printed out and had in the stack of evidence I left on the table. it says: "Cheating isnt always flirting, touching, or kissing. If your having a text or chat conversations you wouldnt want your partner to see because they'd "misunderstand"....YOU ARE CHEATING" sucks she cant face the music. I guarantee she wont admit to anyone what she did and why Im not there anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I hope you can get to a place where she (and her actions) doesn't even cross your mind. You dodged s huge bullet by not marrying this one. Big sigh of relief, huh? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 You went easy on her considering the first complaint was about how she was just spending all your money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Glad all went well and your feeling a bit better. Time to concentrate on all the other rubbish and get that sorted out now. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 She finally deleted me off FB, and her mom did too. I think she finally did because of me posting a thing on my FB that I had printed out and had in the stack of evidence I left on the table. it says: "Cheating isnt always flirting, touching, or kissing. If your having a text or chat conversations you wouldnt want your partner to see because they'd "misunderstand"....YOU ARE CHEATING" sucks she cant face the music. I guarantee she wont admit to anyone what she did and why Im not there anymore. And she will tell everyone you "suddenly left" and screwed her over. Her problem. Not yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 It doesn't matter what she thinks anymore just be glad that you didn't invest any more of yourself, time and $$. Go NC and allow yourself to heal and move on completely. Though you broke up with her you may find yourself missing her later. That's normal but it does not mean that you should regret your decision. Even if she tries to cause drama and twist the story...remain calm and keep strict NC. You did what a lot of other people have a difficult time doing...which is to put their foot down and say, " no more." Congrats and good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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