Author littlesister1234 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 He was definitely trying to mislead you and get you to lower your guard. In those situations you really have to trust your gut. Looking at your posts I believe that deep down you knew he was still interested in you. Yes you lit it go for a little too long, but you did finally end it. Don't feel bad at all about cutting him off. Just remove him from your life as much as you can. My hope for my posts is that other women reading this thread who find themselves in similar situations now or end the future will end things with their friends sooner than later, before things start to get ugly. I did know he was interested and I did tell him several times that it was never going to happen. I did offer a few times to just leave him alone (along with rejecting and canceling plans), but he did say that he knew there was no hope for us and did want to stay friends. As another poster has stated, he was really popular in the small town we lived in and everytime I was mean, or canceled plans, I did get a lot of crap from the people who knew both of us. And it got old and annoying real fast. I agree. Trust your instincts and don't drag out a situation longer than it has to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlesister1234 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Women can't be expected to just know when they're being deceived and lied to like this. If she'd have cut him off the first whiff, I can just imagine her friends might have been saying she was being overly mean and that after all, all he did was like her too much. So it's really a lose/lose situation no matter what she did. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. She had something to lose to, you know, what she considered a friendship. If I had a re-do, I would have rather have people saying I was overly mean, rather than have the situation get to the point where it was. It was wrong for him to mislead the friendship and pretend to be there for me when I really wanted someone to talk to, but it was wrong for me to let the situation go on as long as it did. Lesson learned. Thanks everyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
utilisateur Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 So, I have this best friend. I'm female and he's male. He told me very early on that he was in love with me, and I told him both meanly and gently that I'm just not interested in him and never will be. I honestly can't see him as anything more than just a friend. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and he moved in on me again saying that he would be so much better than my boyfriend if I was his girlfriend. I again rejected his offer and then he started with the whole "I always get the joker card", "I'm the scapegoat for whatever", "No woman could ever really love me no matter how much I love her" nonsense. He would then start sending messages really early in the morning (I'm talking between 3-4 o'clock in the morning) talking about how wonderful I am and whatever. I got sick of that real fast too and told him to knock it off, that it was never going to happen, I don't have any romantic feelings for him. Then he started saying things like how everything would be better if he died and his life was crap after the above mentioned joker card, scapegoat, unrequited love nonsense. I couldn't listen to that either, so I ended my friendship. Then he says I'm a bad friend cause I'm not there for him in his time of need. Plus he said I led him on, after telling him numerous times (and proving it through saved text messages) that I was never interested and he should try finding another girl for a relationship. Am I wrong for ignoring him and ending the friendship? He brought up all the times he helped me, but I told him that just cause he helped me that was no excuse for me to force myself to love him. No I don't think you were wrong to end the friendship, because he was making you uncomfortable and kept pushing even after you told him you weren't going to date him. He seems to have mental health problems, mainly in self-esteem and self-confidence combined with a sense of entitlement to you. It may be too late now because of his (undeserved) anger toward you, but you could have volunteered to be his "wingman" and help him out in getting practice meeting women. Only if you had felt strongly enough about his friendship to help him out. Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Plus he said I led him on,You did. His crime is continuing to try and pursue a relationship with you after you've made it clear, on numerous occasions, that you're not interested in him in that way. Your crime is continuing to try and maintain a "friendship" with him (until recently, of course) after he's made it clear, on numerous occasions, that he has romantic rather than "friendly" feelings for you. He can't expect you to magically want to be with him romantically just because he wishes it, or because he emotionally blackmails you. You, on the other hand, can't expect to be able to put a guy's genitals in a box while you keep him around for rides or free frappucinos or whatever. The situation goes both ways, and there is guilt on both sides. He had a crush on you the whole time but was "hiding" as a friend in sheep's clothing. Uh... no. She says in the OP that he has made his feelings known to her on numerous occasions. Edited March 29, 2015 by TB Rhine Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 That guy is no friend to you. Trying to manipulate and play the victim card..blah. If he had any respect for you as a person he wouldn't treat you this way. You don't need friends like that and you were fully justified IMO. No one is perfect but friends should at least have respect for one another at the minimum. Link to post Share on other sites
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