Cousins don't care about me

[hotgurl]

Hang on, you've said many times that they never said hello to you and that they ignored you, but I noticed something - your cousin DID say hello and talk to you for a bit:

 

 

 

So they didn't ignore you, she ignored you. Why do you keep going on about how they were both so awful and cold and distant and socially weird and all of the other not-very-nice things you've said about them? That seems like a total exaggeration and misrepresentation of what happened.

 

They did not act like strangers. One half of the couple came to you and spoke with you a bit. Should she have also said hello? Sure. I guess. But it's not a social event. People aren't there to mingle, and you're not there to receive condolences and attention. Your cousin had a conversation with you. He did fine.

 

 

 

It is not "common knowledge" at all. To be honest, when my grandmother passed away, it did not even cross my mind to call all of her children (my aunts and uncles) to offer sympathy, and I'm sure it did not cross their minds to call me or all of my cousins to offer sympathy. None of us did anything wrong, there. We all grieved together at the funeral, because we all suffered a loss.

 

Anyway, I don't think anything anyone says here is going to change your mind that they're awful, mean people. And you've said you're not going to talk to them about this. So what is there to do? Get over it, and properly grieve the death of your grandmother. I wish you the best.

 

I wouldn't call all my aunts and uncles , cousins either. It would never occur to me since we would all be at the funeral. But I have a huge family. I would be making about 36 or so phone calls.

 

Also I don't get why it is a big deal to eat lunch between the funeral and wake. Funerals are exhausting and they have a newbo sometime you need to take a break.

 

Personally I like to grieve alone. I didn't go to my nana's wake and got dragged to her funeral. The whole thing was awful for me.

 

If someone was bashing me for how I didn't grieve appropriately according to them I tell to go screw. Or that their grief was more important how petty.

[Gunny376]

? Because its all on them and not me. I've not the time to sit and wonder endlessly why people are the way they are? Why they think they think the way they think? Why they do what they do? Why they believe the way the believe, about me or anything else?

 

 

I'm a good person, I filter pretty much any and everything, including the actions of others and myself through my moral, ethical, legal, personal religious belief system ~ standards. My "Code" if you were? I don't expect others to measure up, in fact I expect most to fall short of them.

 

 

These are the standards I have set for myself to live by. I've picked them largely from my religious up-bringing, from the Marine Corps, and here-and-there as I go along from others. Tidbits of reason, logic, and personal philosophy. Gems mined from the experience, wisdom of others that I have been blessed to encounter and come across.

 

 

I seek the approval, affection, admiration and love of my friends and loved ones, those that reciprocate that which in kind. I rather have Four Quarters than a Hundred Pennies, and so I choose carefully those that I call friends and let into my life.

 

 

I hold myself to a higher standard, and those that I call friends, I hold to a lesser degree.

 

 

Me? I KNOW I'm and *******, or at least can be a serious one? Each day I get out of bed and look in the mirror, I tell myself, "Gunny! Try and not be an ******* today! The world is covered up with them, and doesn't need not one single solitary one more!" And, so I sat about my day. I go out of my way to be courteous, generous, respectful, civil, mindful of others. When someone does something selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, rude,.........I try and remind myself that perhaps they're just having a really bad day, .....................as I myself have had from time-to-time over the course of my life. I remind myself, "But by the Grace of God? There go I!"

 

 

I strive to accentuate the positive in my life, to count my blessings, and not my troubles, and when on occasions I do find myself prone to worrying? I remind myself that most things resolve themselves in time, usually over the course of six months or even less

 

 

If you wake up, and your eyes open, you can get out of bed, get vertical ? If you've got your physical strength, your health, your freedom? Your way, way, way ahead of the game. MUCH more than many people.

 

 

If you've a roof over your head, ate a single meal today, have a bed to sleep in, access to potable water? Your ahead of about 70% of the people. If your born in a First World country? Your way ahead of the rest of the world.

 

 

When someone opts out of my Life, its literally their lost, because I KNOW what kind of long-term, dedicated, committed, loving, to the hilt ~ to the blood kind of person ~ man ~ partner I am. Someone who accepts you for who and what you are. When I call someone "Friend" or to a relationship, its not just in so long as the weather is fair, or it suits me, or convenient to and for me.

 

 

I've acquire through hard work, self autonomy ~ validation. I don't need ANYONE to stroke my ego, validate me, praise me.

 

 

Anyone has a problem wit me? That's what it is! They're problem. Not mine. I strive to JUST do the right thing, in any and all things, with any and all people.

 

 

I won't be lied to, cheated, disrespected, laid a hand upon. I don't do these things to others, and I won't have them done unto me.

[GH101]

? Because its all on them and not me. I've not the time to sit and wonder endlessly why people are the way they are? Why they think they think the way they think? Why they do what they do? Why they believe the way the believe, about me or anything else?

 

 

I'm a good person, I filter pretty much any and everything, including the actions of others and myself through my moral, ethical, legal, personal religious belief system ~ standards. My "Code" if you were? I don't expect others to measure up, in fact I expect most to fall short of them.

 

 

These are the standards I have set for myself to live by. I've picked them largely from my religious up-bringing, from the Marine Corps, and here-and-there as I go along from others. Tidbits of reason, logic, and personal philosophy. Gems mined from the experience, wisdom of others that I have been blessed to encounter and come across.

 

 

I seek the approval, affection, admiration and love of my friends and loved ones, those that reciprocate that which in kind. I rather have Four Quarters than a Hundred Pennies, and so I choose carefully those that I call friends and let into my life.

 

 

I hold myself to a higher standard, and those that I call friends, I hold to a lesser degree.

 

 

Me? I KNOW I'm and *******, or at least can be a serious one? Each day I get out of bed and look in the mirror, I tell myself, "Gunny! Try and not be an ******* today! The world is covered up with them, and doesn't need not one single solitary one more!" And, so I sat about my day. I go out of my way to be courteous, generous, respectful, civil, mindful of others. When someone does something selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, rude,.........I try and remind myself that perhaps they're just having a really bad day, .....................as I myself have had from time-to-time over the course of my life. I remind myself, "But by the Grace of God? There go I!"

 

 

I strive to accentuate the positive in my life, to count my blessings, and not my troubles, and when on occasions I do find myself prone to worrying? I remind myself that most things resolve themselves in time, usually over the course of six months or even less

 

 

If you wake up, and your eyes open, you can get out of bed, get vertical ? If you've got your physical strength, your health, your freedom? Your way, way, way ahead of the game. MUCH more than many people.

 

 

If you've a roof over your head, ate a single meal today, have a bed to sleep in, access to potable water? Your ahead of about 70% of the people. If your born in a First World country? Your way ahead of the rest of the world.

 

 

When someone opts out of my Life, its literally their lost, because I KNOW what kind of long-term, dedicated, committed, loving, to the hilt ~ to the blood kind of person ~ man ~ partner I am. Someone who accepts you for who and what you are. When I call someone "Friend" or to a relationship, its not just in so long as the weather is fair, or it suits me, or convenient to and for me.

 

 

I've acquire through hard work, self autonomy ~ validation. I don't need ANYONE to stroke my ego, validate me, praise me.

 

 

Anyone has a problem wit me? That's what it is! They're problem. Not mine. I strive to JUST do the right thing, in any and all things, with any and all people.

 

 

I won't be lied to, cheated, disrespected, laid a hand upon. I don't do these things to others, and I won't have them done unto me.

 

Well said and I agree

[Gunny376]

[quote=hotgurl;6243253

 

Also I don't get why it is a big deal to eat lunch between the funeral and wake. Funerals are exhausting and they have a newbo sometime you need to take a break.

 

 

 

Here in Alabama? We can't and don't bury someone unless there's some potato salad and fried chicken involved. You just can't have a proper funeral without some food ~ the community and neighbors get involved. Its not a morbid type thing, its a community, friends and family coming together type thing. You just lost a Loved one? Cooking and cleaning is the last thing on your mind.

 

 

But you've got folks coming in from out of town, many over long distances. And from far away. To pay their last respects. Folks around here pitch in. When my Dad passed, the next door neighbor cut the grass, his wife tended the flower garden and weeds folks brought over dishes and casseroles.

Personally I like to grieve alone. I didn't go to my nana's wake and got dragged to her funeral. The whole thing was awful for me.

 

If someone was bashing me for how I didn't grieve appropriately according to them I tell to go screw. Or that their grief was more important how petty.

 

 

There's no limitation, no time limit to grieving? You get to the other side in YOUR own due course of time!