She left me 2 weeks ago...

[dvx]

NC isn't used to get your ex back. It's used so both members of the relationship can move on and find peace. By her not responding, she's telling you that she's still healing from the relationship.

 

So basically its just for me to move on, she will never come back?

 

How long until i can reach out to her again after NC? 1 month? 2?

[Satu]

What do u mean with *she has figured out what NC is for?

 

I mean that she may have figured out that: *'NC is a tool for healing after a breakup*, rather than a way of attempting to manipulate the ex into feeling what you want them to feel.

[Satu]

So basically its just for me to move on, she will never come back?

 

How long until i can reach out to her again after NC? 1 month? 2?

 

It's not about her, it's about you and your healing.

[TunaCat]

So basically its just for me to move on, she will never come back?

 

How long until i can reach out to her again after NC? 1 month? 2?

 

I won't say never because I DID come back to a relationship after a period of NC.

 

Six months is generally how long NC should continue. If you are still feeling the need after six months, then contact her. Just be prepared for any response, including no response.

[Satu]

Yeah i hate my jealousy, i hate that it build me up and defines me as a person now just because i was once really hurt, before that i was the most secure person that never felt threatened by anyone. I never asked my girl where or with whom are u going. But once that trust was broken, it was broken *forever in my head, not just with her but with everyone, now i must find back the old me, that i was 4 years ago.

 

Your jealousy issues can be worked on and probably resolved, if you commit to dealing with it.

 

Consider therapy.

 

It's not incurable.

 

Don't view it as being there *forever.

 

It doesn't have to be.

[dvx]

I won't say never because I DID come back to a relationship after a period of NC.

 

Six months is generally how long NC should continue. If you are still feeling the need after six months, then contact her. Just be prepared for any response, including no response.

Six months is more then the time we spent together, it just sounds to much. Im sure she has moved on long before those 6 months.

 

Your jealousy issues can be worked on and probably resolved, if you commit to dealing with it.

 

Consider therapy.

 

It's not incurable.

 

Don't view it as being there *forever.

 

It doesn't have to be.

Right, let's say i fix it all, how and when do i reach out to her again? And i doubt she will consider giving me another chance or trusting me ever again

[Smokeshow]

If she has lost trust in you 6 months might be too short. You're best right now focusing on you so that you become a better person.

[dvx]

If she has lost trust in you 6 months might be too short. You're best right now focusing on you so that you become a better person.

 

I must get her back whether its 6 months or 6 years. I know for sure she was the one and that i messed it up with my own hands. The most unnecessary loss ever. If i only showed her that i trusted her which i didn't have any reason not to, we would of been together now, maybe even living together etc.

[dvx]

Is it ever too late to start NC with the hope she will reach out? I mean did i blew up every chance there was by begging and crying the first week after she left, calling her, sending flowers etc?

 

I've been on NC for about a week now.

[banana1522]

If you've been chasing for months and suddenly go NC then it will probably have little effect in terms of her missing you. If you've been chasing for a week or so afte the BU then go NC you might be in with a chance but it's not a guarantee.. And you HAVE TO stick to it. If you break it you are back to square one. It is hard but it is the only way. For your healing and for any possible reconciliation. And I would never reach out.. sorry, but if you are the one who got dumped, it has to be their idea to come back! You might be able to get them back by reaching out in 6 months time but you really want them to be the one to initiate for it to be a truly meaningful reconciliation!

[dvx]

Just saw her open up her instagram and unblocking me there and making it public. Also she started following som guy that started following here while she was with me. A coincidence? I think not.

[Ruby65]

PLEASE continue to follow her every move online.

 

It WON'T make you crazy.

 

It WILL help your healing.

 

When you're ready to REALLY stop suffering: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

[Satu]

Just saw her open up her instagram and unblocking me there and making it public. *Also she started following som guy that started following here while she was with me. A coincidence? I think not.

 

*In monitoring her on social media, all you are doing is hurting yourself. Where she goes and what she does, simply isn't your business.

 

Be aware that she has the right to add anyone she likes as a friend, male or female, regardless.

 

Even if she was still with you, she would still have that right.

 

She is a single woman, and her life is her own to live as she wishes.

 

Focus on yourself, what you are doing, thinking, feeling.

 

Thats what you can work with if you want to be a happier person.

 

Just that and nothing else.

[dvx]

PLEASE continue to follow her every move online.

 

It WON'T make you crazy.

 

It WILL help your healing.

 

When you're ready to REALLY stop suffering: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

 

*In monitoring her on social media, all you are doing is hurting yourself. Where she goes and what she does, simply isn't your business.

 

Be aware that she has the right to add anyone she likes as a friend, male or female, regardless.

 

Even if she was still with you, she would still have that right.

 

She is a single woman, and her life is her own to live as she wishes.

 

Focus on yourself, what you are doing, thinking, feeling.

 

Thats what you can work with if you want to be a happier person.

 

Just that and nothing else.

Hmm i guess you're right. Even if it sucks. But does it mean anything that she unblocked me plus made it public? Does she want my somewhat attention or what? Or to make me jealous?

 

Maybe i should do these things to, let her know I'm living my life?

[Satu]

Six months is more then the time we spent together, it just sounds to much. Im sure she has moved on long before those 6 months.

 

 

Right, *let's say i fix it all, how and when do i reach out to her again? And i doubt she will consider giving me another chance or trusting me ever again

 

*After you feel certain that you've made solid progress with your issues. Real progress, that results in changed behaviour.

[Satu]

*Is it ever too late to start NC with the hope she will reach out? I mean did i blew up every chance there was by begging and crying the first week after she left, calling her, sending flowers etc?

 

I've been on NC for about a week now.

 

*As has been said by other members, that's not the purpose of NC.

 

It's a tool to help you heal.

[Satu]

Hmm i guess you're right. Even if it sucks. But does it mean anything that she unblocked me plus made it public? Does she want my somewhat attention or what? Or to make me jealous?

 

Maybe i should do these things to, let her know I'm living my life?

 

Here is a reminder re NC:

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending, receiving, or replies.

*No indirect contact via third parties.

*No contact via social media. No monitoring of the ex's social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

 

It's not intended to be used as a way of manipulating the ex.

 

It's for your healing.

[dvx]

Here is a reminder re NC:

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending, receiving, or replies.

*No indirect contact via third parties.

*No contact via social media. No monitoring of the ex's social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

 

It's not intended to be used as a way of manipulating the ex.

 

It's for your healing.

 

Yeah im sticking to NC, its been a week of NC tomorrow. It just sucks she hasn't given any bc or anything really. Besides the opening of her instagram.

 

Im currently working on another letter that i would like to send her after about a month of NC, would that be OK?

 

I appreciate all the help so far on this biggest issue ever in my entire life. These days have been really bad, i don't even feel like going up in the morning from bed. It just feels like I'm being awaken in a nightmare when i realize she is gone. No good morning texts from her no calls nothing, feels like she is dead.

 

Anyways special thanks to Satu, TunaCat, lolablue17 and KBarletta, since i don't have anyone else really to talk to, I feel like you guys have helped me and it feels good knowing there are people out there who have been through all these stuff before and are willing to spend their time helping people in need.

[Jimmyjackson]

Yeah im sticking to NC, its been a week of NC tomorrow. It just sucks she hasn't given any bc or anything really. Besides the opening of her instagram.

 

Im currently working on another letter that i would like to send her after about a month of NC, would that be OK?

 

I appreciate all the help so far on this biggest issue ever in my entire life. These days have been really bad, i don't even feel like going up in the morning from bed. It just feels like I'm being awaken in a nightmare when i realize she is gone. No good morning texts from her no calls nothing, feels like she is dead.

 

Anyways special thanks to Satu, TunaCat, lolablue17 and KBarletta, since i don't have anyone else really to talk to, I feel like you guys have helped me and it feels good knowing there are people out there who have been through all these stuff before and are willing to spend their time helping people in need.

 

NO! She broke up with you, do not send her a letter, it just looks needy.

[Mrlonelyone]

Go NC and forget about her. If she felt anything for you she will contact you at some point. By that point, as hard as it sounds when a break up is fresh to belive this, you may not want her back.

[dvx]

NO! She broke up with you, do not send her a letter, it just looks needy.

 

Alright. It's just that there are stuff left in My chest that i would need to let her Know about me. She was with me for only 4 months she didnt really give me an honest chance to get to know the real me and to know the reasons of My actions and what i went through before her. Maybe if she knew or if i was honest from the beginning she would think differently about me instead of thinking that this guy is born jealous and Will remain jelaous for his entire life.

[Mrlonelyone]

Alright. It's just that there are stuff left in My chest that i would need to let her Know about me. She was with me for only 4 months she didnt really give me an honest chance to get to know the real me and to know the reasons of My actions and what i went through before her. Maybe if she knew or if i was honest from the beginning she would think differently about me instead of thinking that this guy is born jealous and Will remain jelaous for his entire life.

There is always the classic option of writing the letter then not sending it.

[Jimmyjackson]

Alright. It's just that there are stuff left in My chest that i would need to let her Know about me. She was with me for only 4 months she didnt really give me an honest chance to get to know the real me and to know the reasons of My actions and what i went through before her. Maybe if she knew or if i was honest from the beginning she would think differently about me instead of thinking that this guy is born jealous and Will remain jelaous for his entire life.

 

When she decided to break up with you she decided she was no longer interested in you or what you have been through, so why should you tell her?

 

4 months isn't a long time to be honest, but it was enough time for her to decide whether or not she wanted to be with you. She obviously felt that 4 months was long enough to realise you weren't compatible.

 

If you contact her now she will just think it's pathetic, no offence but all dumpers find it cringey.

 

Write the letter then burn it or delete it, what she thinks of you and what you've been through in the past is no longer relevant to her.

[dvx]

When she decided to break up with you she decided she was no longer interested in you or what you have been through, so why should you tell her?

 

4 months isn't a long time to be honest, but it was enough time for her to decide whether or not she wanted to be with you. She obviously felt that 4 months was long enough to realise you weren't compatible.

 

If you contact her now she will just think it's pathetic, no offence but all dumpers find it cringey.

 

Write the letter then burn it or delete it, what she thinks of you and what you've been through in the past is no longer relevant to her.

 

I get all these thoughts like from a romantic movie, sometimes I'm thinking "hey, I'm gonna do anything it takes to get this fantastic girl back, i will do stuff like send her a rose to her work for each day that I'm without her, i will write a letter for each day I'm without her, i will send her a letter every friday with a love or song quote etc" Just to make her realize what kind of a guy i am, that she will never even find someone as near as good as 1% of me.

 

Then i stop thinking these thoughts and stay in this very hard thing called NC. Where i feel complete powerless, quiet with all the stuff in my chest, praying and waiting for something that might never come back. It just sucks big time.

 

I wish there was something, anything, i could say or do for her to give me a last chance. Everyone makes misstakes, everyone deserves a second chance, why must she punish me for a life time? Even murderers and rapists get the chance to explain their actions in court.

[Jimmyjackson]

I get all these thoughts like from a romantic movie, sometimes I'm thinking "hey, I'm gonna do anything it takes to get this fantastic girl back, i will do stuff like send her a rose to her work for each day that I'm without her, i will write a letter for each day I'm without her, i will send her a letter every friday with a love or song quote etc" Just to make her realize what kind of a guy i am, that she will never even find someone as near as good as 1% of me.

 

Then i stop thinking these thoughts and stay in this very hard thing called NC. Where i feel complete powerless, quiet with all the stuff in my chest, praying and waiting for something that might never come back. It just sucks big time.

 

I wish there was something, anything, i could say or do for her to give me a last chance. Everyone makes misstakes, everyone deserves a second chance, why must she punish me for a life time? Even murderers and rapists get the chance to explain their actions in court.

 

Life isn't like a romantic movie, you can't throw stones at her window until she answers and confess your love to her in the rain, while she runs downstairs and leaps into your arms. It doesn't work like that in real life I'm afraid.

 

Put yourself in her position, if you broke up with someone, and that person kept contacting you, sending you flowers, begging for another chance..what would you think? in your mind you'd be thinking "I wish she would fnck off!".

 

You can't do or say anything once someones mind is made up, you also can't compare a 4 month relationship to a murderer or rapist in court. People in those positions are potentially being punished for life, you getting dumped is not going to punish you for life, you just don't see it yet.