Author Maxie Max Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 That's pretty damn admirable, I must say. I should also clarify that I didn't mean to proclaim anything to the world...just that I would have told that woman exactly where you and your boyfriend/ex stood with each other so she could make a more informed opinion of him. Sorry this happened to you. Good luck. Thank you. Yes, I see what you mean now. I just look at it like this, she knows. Females go through dudes phones when they already have a reason to not trust them. She clearly isn't saying anything to him. Her choice is to run other women off. She just wanted me to make her feel like nothing was going on. Men like him have problems. If he is having sex with this many woman unprotected, he has issues that really has nothing to do with either woman. It's not even about anyone not pleasing him because it seems like he is sleeping with anything that moves. If this is true. This is his loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 To think, I just made a post about him not getting it up as much. I guess this explains it. He's working that pee pee to the bone. I have to laugh a little. It's better than crying. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Nothing of value was lost. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 It happens because we trust and believe in the person we are with. It's as simple as being told that they are at work but they are really somewhere else. But still... After years of dating, how can your lives be so disconnected that this is possible? You've met his family, and you're part of his group of friends, surely? If he claims he is working when he isn't, how can he still afford rent, bills, everything else? Unless you're only seeing each other one a week or something it just seems bizarre that this can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 But still... After years of dating, how can your lives be so disconnected that this is possible? You've met his family, and you're part of his group of friends, surely? If he claims he is working when he isn't, how can he still afford rent, bills, everything else? Unless you're only seeing each other one a week or something it just seems bizarre that this can happen. Yes, I know his family. His mother was supposed to really love and like me. He was supposed to live with her and she was always up when I came over to hang out. I hang out with one of his friends, the one I saw today. The others are men that I have nothing in common with. He was claiming to work nights while I work during the day. He was probably working during the day and doing a different form of working during the nights. smh Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Yes, I know his family. His mother was supposed to really love and like me. He was supposed to live with her and she was always up when I came over to hang out. I hang out with one of his friends, the one I saw today. The others are men that I have nothing in common with. He was claiming to work nights while I work during the day. He was probably working during the day and doing a different form of working during the nights. smh So the person you met with today to help you get to the bottom of all of this is the same person who knew everything about this guy and made a choice NOT to let you know what an enormous pig he was? Honestly, I'd be just as angry with that person as I would be with the boyfriend. I hope you're cutting this person loose as well because they clearly don't have a conscience. Man, how do these people sleep at night Good luck. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 So the person you met with today to help you get to the bottom of all of this is the same person who knew everything about this guy and made a choice NOT to let you know what an enormous pig he was? Honestly, I'd be just as angry with that person as I would be with the boyfriend. I hope you're cutting this person loose as well because they clearly don't have a conscience. Man, how do these people sleep at night Good luck. Nah, I was playing her for the information. I didn't go to her in distress and crying I went to her like "Girlllll who is this calling me? hahaha " She didn't and doesn't realize the context of my relationship with him. She thinks I am alright with him being with other women and that I was just upset because someone called me. She dates his cousin and knows of his women and is ok because she feels like he loves her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 It's just barely possible somehow that she's a head case and is lying, though I don't see how. Women do weird things sometimes in these situations. Try to find that out first for sure. But almost certainly you have been played. Sounds like this guy is in for a world of hurt. Read the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 It's just barely possible somehow that she's a head case and is lying, though I don't see how. Women do weird things sometimes in these situations. Try to find that out first for sure. But almost certainly you have been played. Sounds like this guy is in for a world of hurt. I'm not sure what else there is to find out. When I asked his friend about the woman, she CORRECTED the name and told me "Oh that's the one that stays in _____". The city his friend gave me is the same city the friend on the phone gave me. Even when she told me that he had someone pregnant, I've heard that before but I believed his response. I told him to tell me the truth so that I could respect his honestly and possibly remain friends and so that I could also get tested and take care of my health. He lied and gave me a response that made sense while he has still been laying in bed with other women it appears. I may have ignored signs and believed my man but the only person being played is him. I'm nothing less than a wonderful woman. His loss. He has played himself with this. When men sleep with that many women, they are not happy and are seeking something 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 OP, I have to ask: how close were the two of you, exactly? His friend didn't seem to know that you are in a relationship with him, and it's odd to me that his mom would ask you if you had his cell phone number, when you've been together for 4 years. Had you guys broken up and got back together or something? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kenji_t Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 That is f****d up...really f****d. As everyone else pointed out: dump, block, NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) OP, I have to ask: how close were the two of you, exactly? His friend didn't seem to know that you are in a relationship with him, and it's odd to me that his mom would ask you if you had his cell phone number, when you've been together for 4 years. Had you guys broken up and got back together or something? We broke up couple of times towards the very beginning of the relationship. I'm not very close to his friend. He & his brother had fallen out with the friend a couple of years ago over a nasty rumor she said about his nephew. He reconciled with her towards the end of last year in which I was shocked but he doesn't hold grudges. My interactions with her have not been frequent. Either she thought it was a casual sex based relationship or she was toying with me. He didn't have a cellphone until last year. I guess his mom asked if I had his cell because I was calling a landline for him. I guess she was helping me to reach him sooner. Anyway - I planned on calling him last night to let him know that I didn't want that person calling me again or anybody else. He didn't answer when I called but texted that he would return my call shortly. I said forget it and sent him a text with my request. He apologized for the person calling me and said that it would never happen again. I went on about my day, spoke with friends etc to keep my mind busy but no sooner then I was home and in bed that night - it was burning me up that he hadn't said any more than that. I called him and asked if that was all he had to say about what that woman said. He told me that he didn't know what she had said. I explained it to him. He said he had hung out with her as a friend and forgot his phone. He said he let the phone stay there because he needed to be at work. When he returned from work, he then went to pick up his phone and that he had voice messages from several people that she had contacted. He said that he cut her off over it. I didn't tell him anything that his friend said. I wasn't sure how to present it or if I should bother. A condition she had for giving me the information was that I couldn't tell where I got it from. Edited March 12, 2015 by Maxie Max Addition Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 There really is no point in telling her any more than I have. She has his phone and saw a lot of females texting him. She is doing better than me. What else is it to tell her? It seems like she is the one that can give me information. I told her that I've known him for years and from the looks of it, he's a crafty lier so whatever I say doesn't matter anyway. It only seems that way. In reality she's settling for licking the soles of his feet. I don't see any benefits of proclaiming to the world how he wronged me. I would only humiliate myself. I think the consequences is losing me. Even though he appears to not have valued that much. It was something about me that he was holding onto and now that is gone. To me, that is a consequence. I would love to speak to him once last time, but why give his ego the satisfaction? He will get no satisfaction from hearing you say 'you are nothing but a filth* animal'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 It only seems that way. In reality she's settling for licking the soles of his feet. He will get no satisfaction from hearing you say 'you are nothing but a filth* animal'. I meant in the context of information. She shouldn't need me to tell her anything. She was the one sitting with his phone. She had a list of his contacts, his texts, emails, pictures, call log. That is what I meant about her being better off than me. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 At least you're free. That other woman on the phone might actually marry this sorry excuse for manhood. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 At least you're free. That other woman on the phone might actually marry this sorry excuse for manhood. If he is as wild as stated, I highly doubt this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) I'm not sure if I provided this update or not. I had left him a voicemail which told him to give me a time that he would be available because I had news.(I wanted to break up in person) I woke up to a text from him asking what the news was. I texted back asking when he was available, he texted right that moment that he was on his way to work. I tried calling him being that he had his phone and he wouldn't answer it. He texted to ask me why I couldn't just text it. We went back and forth about how it wasn't textable and him asking me to just text it. He concluded that I was playing games and to not even worry about telling him. I'm thinking that his friend revealed what was shared with me and he is not going to face me, not even by phone. We didn't end the way that I wanted it to go, but we are done. Oh, do you all think I should delete his mom from my Facebook? She loved me, but... I mean on the day that this was unraveling she had posted on my page that I could get anything with my smile. I was thinking clearly not lady. Edited March 16, 2015 by Maxie Max Added information 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Glad to hear you're done with him. As for his mom, DELETE and move on. Couldn't be any simpler. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 I was just making sure because she was nice to me and it wasn't her fault. I wanted to double check with you guys because clearly my judgement clearly isn't the best. As far as moving on, I suppose it will be a day to day thing. I know several people that have been cheated on. They received the "baby I'm sorry", "i was just using her", "i will not do it again" type of calls. None of that happened for me. It hurt. It is like he doesn't even care that he has lost me. I WOULD NOT take him back, but just the facts of the matter are upsetting. One day it will not hurt anymore I suppose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 No, what you need to prepare yourself for is him turning up on your doorstep to charm you back. What are you going to say then? Does he have a chance to charm you back in? How do you know things are over with him and this side piece of his? Are you really willing to climb back into his messiness? Because he's not done. Dudes that do this use this ploy to keep the hook in your cheek... "aw, she's just mad... I'll let her cool off and then go over there... say what I need to say... blah blah effin' blah" You're going to have to be ready launch broadsides from "Maxie Max's Revenge" if you are truly done with him. You're going to have to come at him like this: And at the end of the day, his mom is his mom and his happiness is where her loyalties lie. I would not be surprised if the side piece gets pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) I'm not sure if I provided this update or not. I had left him a voicemail which told him to give me a time that he would be available because I had news.(I wanted to break up in person) I woke up to a text from him asking what the news was. I texted back asking when he was available, he texted right that moment that he was on his way to work. I tried calling him being that he had his phone and he wouldn't answer it. He texted to ask me why I couldn't just text it. We went back and forth about how it wasn't textable and him asking me to just text it. He concluded that I was playing games and to not even worry about telling him. I'm thinking that his friend revealed what was shared with me and he is not going to face me, not even by phone. We didn't end the way that I wanted it to go, but we are done. I'm confused about how nonchalant you both are being about all this. Have you spoken to him in the last 4-5 days at all? Doesn't he think it's strange you two haven't spoken? Maybe I'm missed something, but this is an odd way to end a relationship of 4 years, and he either doesn't get it or doesn't care. Sorry you're going through this. Have you gotten angry yet? Nah, I was playing her for the information. I didn't go to her in distress and crying I went to her like "Girlllll who is this calling me? hahaha " She didn't and doesn't realize the context of my relationship with him. She thinks I am alright with him being with other women and that I was just upset because someone called me. She dates his cousin and knows of his women and is ok because she feels like he loves her. Why would this friend think you are alright with him being with other women? Edited March 16, 2015 by rester Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 No, what you need to prepare yourself for is him turning up on your doorstep to charm you back. What are you going to say then? Does he have a chance to charm you back in? How do you know things are over with him and this side piece of his? Are you really willing to climb back into his messiness? Because he's not done. Dudes that do this use this ploy to keep the hook in your cheek... "aw, she's just mad... I'll let her cool off and then go over there... say what I need to say... blah blah effin' blah" You're going to have to be ready launch broadsides from "Maxie Max's Revenge" if you are truly done with him. You're going to have to come at him like this: And at the end of the day, his mom is his mom and his happiness is where her loyalties lie. I would not be surprised if the side piece gets pregnant. 2-3 of his side piece are pregnant. I just received a text from him that says "I need your help." Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 That's when you put the delete button to good use. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 2-3 of his side piece are pregnant. I just received a text from him that says "I need your help." Block him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maxie Max Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Just saying that it helps a lot to have the support from this forum and I appreciate all of the input. I imagine it will take time for me to get over the pain of feeling replaced 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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