NJ123 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Its totally the reverse, someone like David Beckham (for example) could get away with odd behaviour that a less attractive man would get shamed for. I really dislike the word creep precisely because its used in such a disingenuous way. The man himself is judged on his status as opposed to his behaviour. The classic example of this is aggressive flirting/pursuing of women. If the guy is hot he can never be too forward in his approach whereas if the guy is unattractive he will have the cops called on him. Take a guy that looks like Christopher Walken & have him hit on women compared to a guy that looks like Brad Pitt. The reactions from a lot of women would be totally different. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 And, I think a lot of women feel the same way about guys who throw around "psycho" when it comes to women - especially when the guy does something that makes her go off the deep end. Okay, you've got me on that one! A lot of men really do think most women are nuts... and I come and go on that one myself. I can handle high-powered equations and Quantum Mechanics but women are tough to figure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Its totally the reverse, someone like David Beckham (for example) could get away with odd behaviour that a less attractive man would get shamed for. I really dislike the word creep precisely because its used in such a disingenuous way. The man himself is judged on his status as opposed to his behaviour. The classic example of this is aggressive flirting/pursuing of women. If the guy is hot he can never be too forward in his approach whereas if the guy is unattractive he will have the cops called on him. Well, again, I'm not like most women...I still might label a guy doing certain things a bit "creepy" if you will, but yea, if I'm attracted to him he gets a pass. As long as he doesn't look like he's a threat to my life and safety, he can stare, follow me around, etc all he wants. Sometimes I think it's "cute"... The only thing is with my recent crush is, cuz all the staring and stuff never materializes into anything (i.e. us dating, having sex, etc.) you get frustrated and just it loses it's "cute" after a minute. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) I have been called a lot of names in my life....... worthless, ugly, hopeless...fats domino retarded.....waste of space, stuck up bitch,snob, frigid, slut, whore, mattress back, nerd and the list goes on the worst thing i guess i have known someone to say ...the thing that hurt the heart of me.......was a guy calling me a creep......and luckily that has been one name one time....maybe that is why it hurt me...because its one thing i have never been called....i have always tried to make people feel comfortable around me...its actually really important to me a guy i crushed on at school knew i liked him because i would blush......and he was a guy who always treated me with respect, he stood up fro me once and todl a guy to stop beating me up because i wasnt fighting back....in high school ...he would tease me ...to see me blush...smilin......and went out of his way to talk to me...because i was normally hiding from him.... i have handled creeps ...and i have never behaved like that...towards another person so i dont think its a word to be thrown around.......deb Edited March 1, 2015 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Well, again, I'm not like most women...I still might label a guy doing certain things a bit "creepy" if you will, but yea, if I'm attracted to him he gets a pass. As long as he doesn't look like he's a threat to my life and safety, he can stare, follow me around, etc all he wants. Sometimes I think it's "cute"... The only thing is with my recent crush is, cuz all the staring and stuff never materializes into anything (i.e. us dating, having sex, etc.) you get frustrated and just it loses it's "cute" after a minute. I think it's safe to say that most people can recognize behavior that is out of the norm for a given situation as "creepy". Especially where dating/relationships matters are concerned. I guess the frustration for some guys is that they might try something they saw another guy try with success and it fails miserably simply because they aren't very attractive. Or maybe they are really and truly creeping on girls. We'll never know. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 As long as he doesn't look like he's a threat to my life and safety, he can stare, follow me around, etc all he wants. Sometimes I think it's "cute"... The only thing is with my recent crush is, cuz all the staring and stuff never materializes into anything (i.e. us dating, having sex, etc.) you get frustrated and just it loses it's "cute" after a minute. Funny, I don't think I've ever heard a woman say this before, with the exception of my last conversation with my sb! She was saying how she liked it when an ex bf essentially stalked her in hopes of reuniting. He would go to places where she hangs out and sit in the background. And they did eventually get back together. It didn't last, but still, she liked the attention. I had a cousin who followed a girl home in his car and then sat outside of her house. He did it again the next day, and the next day. This went on in one form or another for some time. About two years later they got married. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Define Creepy If he knows where your locker is - he's creepy. If he sees you in the hall more than twice in a school day - he's creepy. (if you notice him more than one of those - he's creepy ) If your glance across the lunch room catches him noticing you - he's creepy. If he has visited your Facebook page - he's creepy. If he notices what you're wearing - he's creepy. If in any context at all he talks about you, and this comes to your attention - he's creepy. (by now, O.P., you should be catching-on to this pattern) Link to post Share on other sites
EveAFlame Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Creepy: a guy who recently grabbed me and told me my lips are perfect for sucking...you know what. He was actually attractive, lightly muscled, nice teeth, dressed sharply (dude had on a white sports coat!) I could feel myself wilt. Why did you have to ruin it by opening your mouth?! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 creepy = most of the IT guys at my workplace. they refuse to make eye contact when you directly approach them and say hello, and then you catch them staring at you at inappropriate times. they say nothing, look like they are constantly imagining you naked, and just look creepy, and have some weird pastimes. men don't even have to talk to you for them to be creepy, they just have a body language/vibe you do not like, at all. it's like a 6th sense, maybe, that women have. and some can even be cute, but they give off a smarmy vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Funny, I don't think I've ever heard a woman say this before, with the exception of my last conversation with my sb! She was saying how she liked it when an ex bf essentially stalked her in hopes of reuniting. He would go to places where she hangs out and sit in the background. And they did eventually get back together. It didn't last, but still, she liked the attention. I had a cousin who followed a girl home in his car and then sat outside of her house. He did it again the next day, and the next day. This went on in one form or another for some time. About two years later they got married. Well, no, I'm not interested in the "attention"...I'm not that desperate. I liked him before he started with the staring and stuff. Now, if a guy starts crossing the line where it becomes mean, rude, intrusive, out of line - doesn't matter if I like him....forget it. And trust me, if he crosses the line, I'll let him know in a heartbeat. So, some guy doing creepy/over the top weirdo stuff isn't gonna make my heart melt. That's why I think guys get labeled 'creepy' by women that aren't "interested" in them. Mind you, I didn't just say "not attracted", I said "not interested". I've been approached by attractive guys, but just wasn't feeling it. And yes, they persisted and that just gets freakin' annoying. Like the OLD guy I recently made the mistake of giving my tel to. He hasn't gone on the "creepy" yet, but he's getting "annoying" right about now...and, he's attractive, but I'm not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 creepy is where you make the other person uncomfortable enough they get the flight response...... like a guy putting his hands on my neck and massaging when i hardly know him.....or touching me constantly...or looking me up and down ...cornering me somewhere where i have no escape......i am not able to walk away thats creepy.....a guy who i dont know who gets in my personal space so much so that i have step back and ignores that i have stepped back, and doesnt recognise or respect i am uncomfortable and keeps pushing forward.......... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 What's really creepy....when someone follows you from website to website, thinks they know who you are, thinks they can scare you...and they've never even met you. THAT is creepy. Don't these people have their own family and lives?????? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
E-Squared Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Read this article. Now this guy was the epitome of creepy and from what the writer said, he didn't recognize his own actions and didn't seem to get any hints the girl gave him. She had every right to be creeped out by him because he followed her around the gym. Granted I have had a gym crush before. I don't see this girl anymore, probably because of her schedule, but I sort of assumed that she thought that I was a creepy guy because I made glances towards her, but if anything, I was onto her as well. I remember I had my moments of catching her looking in my direction while I did situps and this was when she was leaving at that moment. The question in my mind was why she looked in my direction in the first place. It even happened again two months ago when I was in between reps, we were in the same weight room, but I sort of zoned out a bit and I often turn my attention somewhere to see what is going on around me, I somehow made eye contact with the same girl through a mirror. She caught me and I was like "Oh, damn, she must think something is up." I then later on caught her looking in my direction without her knowledge because I noticed through the mirror in front of me. I sort of chuckled. What I could say is that the joke was kind of on her because I was kind of onto her, when I suspected that she may have been onto me. Or maybe she was attracted to me as well. I haven't talked to her, so I can't really say. I haven't even seen her in a while, either. What I want to know how can someone approach someone in real life without being perceived as creepy. I know I have been given the "Be confident" answer many times, which I feel is a cop-out. Sexual harassment is not a good thing by any means, but then there are accusations of harassment that a woman can use against a man even when he didn't do anything wrong, and sometimes it can be used as a lie to ruin the man's life. Trust me, I have been falsely accused of sexual harassment before. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Hmm, that's a difficult one. I'm trying to think of guys that gave me that feeling, in order to define it better. It's easier to give some examples of behaviour that gave me that impression. Guy who stared at me for long periods without blinking much at social events and then, when he spoke to me was sexually suggestive. Guy who chatted online with me then started talking about how we were both adults and we could talk about anything we wanted (true) but I didn't share his agenda. He wanted to talk about how turned on he felt and what he would like to do. Got rid of him! Guys who approach you in the street for no apparent reason just wanting to chat and be friendly. I now know that this is the only option for a guy who sees a woman he likes in passing and who doesn't know you, but it was still pretty damn scary when it happened when I was younger! Guy staring through my window into my student accomm. He'd asked me out a few days earlier and I'd declined, though shyness more than anything, but seeing him out there in the dark did not rekindle any desire to date him. Groping guys who take any opportunity to touch in more personal places than is normal, def off limits without invitation. Guys with a cruel or cold look in their eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I think it's safe to say that most people can recognize behavior that is out of the norm for a given situation as "creepy". Especially where dating/relationships matters are concerned. I guess the frustration for some guys is that they might try something they saw another guy try with success and it fails miserably simply because they aren't very attractive. Or maybe they are really and truly creeping on girls. We'll never know. Exactly. I notice some advice round here about men copying what works from guys who are successful, that could end up landing them in a whole heap of trouble! I have no problem with people like Gloria having that mindset - its only natural in many ways. I just wish there was some honesty/objectivity about it because as a guy its a lot better to hear "Im simply not attracted to you" than "OMG you are soooo creepy!!!" when the same behaviour would be welcomed if the guy was hot. I dont get the need to constantly shame guys who may just be unattractive and awkward. Of course there is the exception for genuinely creepy guys, but given the way that the word is thrown about with carefree abandon pretty much anything is considered creepy these days depending on who does it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Read this article. Now this guy was the epitome of creepy and from what the writer said, he didn't recognize his own actions and didn't seem to get any hints the girl gave him. She had every right to be creeped out by him because he followed her around the gym. Granted I have had a gym crush before. I don't see this girl anymore, probably because of her schedule, but I sort of assumed that she thought that I was a creepy guy because I made glances towards her, but if anything, I was onto her as well. I remember I had my moments of catching her looking in my direction while I did situps and this was when she was leaving at that moment. The question in my mind was why she looked in my direction in the first place. It even happened again two months ago when I was in between reps, we were in the same weight room, but I sort of zoned out a bit and I often turn my attention somewhere to see what is going on around me, I somehow made eye contact with the same girl through a mirror. She caught me and I was like "Oh, damn, she must think something is up." I then later on caught her looking in my direction without her knowledge because I noticed through the mirror in front of me. I sort of chuckled. What I could say is that the joke was kind of on her because I was kind of onto her, when I suspected that she may have been onto me. Or maybe she was attracted to me as well. I haven't talked to her, so I can't really say. I haven't even seen her in a while, either. What I want to know how can someone approach someone in real life without being perceived as creepy. I know I have been given the "Be confident" answer many times, which I feel is a cop-out. Sexual harassment is not a good thing by any means, but then there are accusations of harassment that a woman can use against a man even when he didn't do anything wrong, and sometimes it can be used as a lie to ruin the man's life. Trust me, I have been falsely accused of sexual harassment before. Ok, the article you gave us the link to...that chick should have been upfront with him instead of endless "hints". Last nite on SNL, they had a parody about that 'I wanna see you be brave' song and it was about women finally just "saying what they wanna say". I believe women often try to be too polite and when we're firm and stand up for ourselves, we feel bad (I guess assertiveness doesn't come natural for us). So, while yeah, he should have caught on to her "hints" - at the same time, who is she to say she 'hopes he never finds a date, and bla bla' when she didn't even simply say something like "I see you around me a lot as of late and I think the time you spend with me is giving you the impression that I'm interested in you romantically, but I'm not"... Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Creeps: seem unaware of social cues, boundaries, the word no, personal space and overall give off a very unpleasant vibe. Case in point, last night my friends and I were sitting down in the lobby of a hotel and this guy comes over and introduces himself and starts talking, he had shifty eyes, didn't seem to understand social cues and then made some comment about how he has trouble fitting pants because he is a "Big Boy" and then one of his friends calls to him and he turns to us and says "Big Boy will be back" and winks.... Creep. Who does that?! It was clear none of us were interested or chatting him up, so he clearly had a lack of understanding of social cues, then you're sexually suggestive with women you don't know and pounced on 3 minutes ago. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
E-Squared Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Ok, the article you gave us the link to...that chick should have been upfront with him instead of endless "hints". Last nite on SNL, they had a parody about that 'I wanna see you be brave' song and it was about women finally just "saying what they wanna say". I believe women often try to be too polite and when we're firm and stand up for ourselves, we feel bad (I guess assertiveness doesn't come natural for us). So, while yeah, he should have caught on to her "hints" - at the same time, who is she to say she 'hopes he never finds a date, and bla bla' when she didn't even simply say something like "I see you around me a lot as of late and I think the time you spend with me is giving you the impression that I'm interested in you romantically, but I'm not"... Well, there is an example when a girl was not polite and rather harsh about it. There was this guy who sent these messages to a girl who worked at Hot Topic, whose information he found through a mutual friend/acquaintance, and sent her multiple messages, and made these assumptions about her. Of course, later on she posted this Facebook conversation on her Tumblr and then it was mentioned on websites such as Reddit and Kotaku. She was rather harsh about it but I can see why she was pissed about it. The guy obviously didn't know how to talk to women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Me_plus_who Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 OK, thanks for all the awesome comments. I'm beginning to think it has something to do with trust/safety. You know how women tend to be so much more on guard, or risk averse. Is creepy the sensation they feel when they perceive something is out of whack for their comfort zone? Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 If women don't find you attractive most things you do are creepy. Be rich or look like brad Pitt and watch the opposite reaction. This is why for the most part I've accepted that most women suck. Let's stop being PC and admit were all somewhat shallow especially those with options. Its not bitterness. Its reality Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 A man who seems to turn up everywhere I am, loudly breathing through his mouth A man who has never met me, calling me baby with a wink and a leer A man who refers to all women as "chicks" or "females" A man who asks you out, you politely tell him no (regardless of the reason), and he tries to pin you down with "well would you say/have said yes if X...Y...Z?" A man who calls his "man part" by a name like "Bob" or "Little Greg" on a first date A man who tracks your IP address A man who follows you around the internet and takes screen shots of everything you post when he has never met you It's whatever a woman says it is... if a female ain't happy, you're creepy. If you refer to said female as female, you're creepy. If you're not female and you exist, you're creepy. Dontcha just love this place? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 If women don't find you attractive most things you do are creepy. Be rich or look like brad Pitt and watch the opposite reaction. This is why for the most part I've accepted that most women suck. Let's stop being PC and admit were all somewhat shallow especially those with options. Its not bitterness. Its reality Mmmkay...this is reality! Most women suck and you and every other man are just fabulous! As a sucky woman I will add: I can be uninterested in a man and find nothing creepy about him at all. Hence, you have guys I'm just friends with. Nothing creepy there. I don't want to bang them or date them but they are perfectly fine people and I've also had guys who've approached me that I wasn't into but they were normally behaving people. Creep is not simply about not being into a man, unless you are a Junior high girl who has the "Eww Syndrome", most other women are fully capable of distinguishing a creep from a man they are not interested in. Likewise, you may like a man initially then overtime come to find out based on his behavior that he is a creep. But what do I know? ALL women suck and men are fabulous and no complaints, thoughts or opinions a woman has is legitimate it's only meant to punish fabulous men lmao! Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 It's whatever a woman says it is... if a female ain't happy, you're creepy. If you refer to said female as female, you're creepy. If you're not female and you exist, you're creepy. Dontcha just love this place? Let me clarify the female thing. If a man is being all formal and objective and talking about "males" and "females," no problem. If he grimaces and spits out the word "female" the way some people would spit out the word "disgusting" or "pit bull," and uses it because he cannot bear to humanize that gender by saying woman or lady....THAT is a problem. And yeah, I've seen a good bit of that. Not in real life, but when the basement gamers come out to whine. Basically, creepy, male or female, IMO, is when someone continues to invade another's personal space after being asked not to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I really call guys or girls creepy on an equal basis, something creepy: a person with a really clammy limp hand shake also people who don't pick up on social cues and I know in many cases they are fine people who kind of have a social handicap and there is nothing wrong with them at all, but their behavior still comes off as creepy. I think this boring meme that is here and there all over this forum about "any guy a girl is not attracted to" is really because he is probably behaving in a socially awkward way that is … maybe creepy. Close talkers and mouth breathers can be pretty creepy whatever the gender don't you think?? And people who are lurking around staring at you without smiling or saying anything, or people who burst into laughter when a kitten gets run over. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Certain men's actions can be found creepy! Link to post Share on other sites
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