Cant move on emotionally after Co-Worker Affair

[beach]

Yes I know I said I wouldn't and the hotel changed when the trip dates were altered earlier in the week. Being in same hotel has certainly aided the continuation of this. I know dh deserves better but I just want to get back to the way we were. Going to

Finish out the week and take a break from here and will report back in a few weeks/months with an update

 

Nah, any OTHER hotel would have been your attempt to create distance. Every company gathering is in a big enough city to find other hotels. That one is on you for not making the effort to get another hotel.

 

Nothing else AIDED the continuation except you participating.

 

You also stated you've been partying. That's another promise you made here - not to drink as it alters your decision making skills - you have some real issues to address.

Edited March 25, 2015 by beach

[DKT3]

What your doing was your intent all along sort of a week long sex-a-ton that has been planned.

 

You have no guilt or remorse and it won't stop here. Its just what you keep telling yourself, "after this its over" how about its over NOW. When you get home it will be more of the same "after this one last time its over" no it won't be over until you get caught. No one here thought you wouldn't be banging this dude all week, hell you didn't even believe it.

 

I'm done here, sometimes some people just don't have good in them. I will await your next thread where your husband has found out because you passed along your cokeheads STD or your carrying his child. And don't insult us by claiming you use protection, cuz it happens when you drunk right? Too drunk to stop it means too drunk to protect yourself and your husband.

Edited March 25, 2015 by DKT3

[autumnnight]

Giraffe- Can you honestly live with this guilt pinned up inside you forever? What will this do to your mental and physical well-being? How can you look at your family and not be torn to shreds each time knowing what you have done?

 

 

If I was in your BH's shoes, I'd want to know. If you confess to him now, there would be no better way to truly be over the A and the OM. You will certainly go through a very difficult time, no doubt. But your BH has the right to know and it is also his right to decide whether to dump you, or consider a R with you. Provided you are a real person, you can not live with this pinned up forever. As long as the OM is in the picture, you will always relapse. If you don't confess and he finds out on his own, he will certainly be more likely to kick you to the curb.

 

I do not believe she feels guilt. I believe she has enjoyed our attention as much as she enjoys the AP.

[dental]

The shamelessness of the narcissist never ceases to amaze me.

[SoulStorm]

Oh mighty mod William...

Is this for real?

[thummper]

Oh mighty mod William...

Is this for real?[/QUOTE]

 

 

 

It's why I asked the mods to check this out. It just feels phony.

[Mazerati]

I too doubt this is a real thread. But if by chance it is, I certainly hope that this POS's BETRAYED husband already knows, and has moved out with HIS daughter.

 

DKT3 said it best that you can't help those who won't be helped. This OP has so many convenient excuses as to why she can't keep her legs closed, it is pathetic, but then again isn't that a narcissist?

 

Highlights of this low-lifes posts:

 

 

I guess all in, the proof will be whether I abstain or not on this trip. My mind says definitely. The work agenda hardly leaves time for sleep and eating, this also helps. Coupled with determination I can end this thing....AP gave me a lot of attention and flattery. For some bizarre reason I entertained him last October. Hes at my disposal. In my heart and soul I want to come home having no contact with him, my head held high. Alternatively I can have him any night and be a wreck in work and at home the following week. I know every encounter is fun and exciting but the aftermath is self loathing and guilt. So what will it be?...

 

AND THE ANSWER IS:

 

AP has basically moved into my room since Monday....I've been working and partying very hard...Today I have been filled with so much regret, remorse, stronger than ever before...how horrible that I am and what I've done to my DH...That's it basically. We are done. I am so done and so sorry I ever did this...I won't confess, I will lose everything. I will stop this now. I do mean it this time and no I am not a troll...I know dh deserves better but I just want to get back to the way we were...It's a car crash. But it ends now or I get caught and my world will be over then...

 

 

Once again if this is real, then I pray that her BETRAYED Husband if he hasn't found out, will and get rid of this POS. Regardless if this is real, and regardless of the outcome, I will do what the OP cannot do. Never post on this thread again.

 

Maz

[LifeWasted]

Because he's in my personal space so much it's cemented to me how we are worlds apart, how horrible that I am and what I've done to my DH. So I told him this today and he took it well. Said he knew this week would happen but had no interest in taking it back home.

That's it basically. We are done. I am so done and so sorry I ever did this

 

 

This is a pipe dream.

 

The OM can still have you anytime he wants you.

[Confused48]

Giraffe- Can you honestly live with this guilt pinned up inside you forever? What will this do to your mental and physical well-being? How can you look at your family and not be torn to shreds each time knowing what you have done?

 

Cake eaters eat cake and don't feel guilt. They feel entitled to their cake and when/if they tire of the affair, they feel they owe nothing to the BS. They feel entitled to return to their comfy life and live forever as if nothing happened.

 

Extremely selfish people do this and never think twice. I really think the OP here is fully capable of living the rest of her life without confessing. I also think her BS may find out at some point in the future. It happens a lot. Even if not, someone who is this full of entitlement and with opportunities to cheat, will certainly cheat again, perhaps to get caught then.

[thummper]

I won't confess,1. I will lose everything. 2. I will stop this now. 3.I do mean it this time and 4. no I am not a troll as crazy as everything I've wen saying is, it's all true, this is my life and what is happening in it at the moment. I find it strange to think anyone would put so much time into making something up like this. It's a car crash. But it ends now or I get caught and my world will be over then.

 

This particular post caused me to break out laughing...really! It's just hilarious!!! 1. If this really is a true account of your activities, you may very well lose everything. 2. Oh, sure you will. 3. OH, SURE YOU DO!!! 4. Oooops. I heard that three billygoats are about to cross over your bridge!! Seriously, I'll have to admit, I've gotten a real kick out of this thread. I can hardly wait for the next installment and see which primrose path we'll be led down next. Understand, I'm not in the least complaining about it. It's fun and it's become very entertaining. Please whatever you do, don't stop now. Lots of luck to you.

[harrybrown]

You should tell your H before someone else does.

 

Everyone there knows what is going on, the OM has bragged about it to others, and just like my friend, someone will either call him or send him a picture or a letter.

 

You should have quit your job rather than go on this trip where you planned on cheating again.

 

Someone will tell him, but you should tell your H before they do.

 

too bad you do not have better boundaries. So much pain for the rest of your family. My friend committed suicide after he found out from his wife's friends about her A.

 

She did not really love him, and you can't since you put your wishes ahead of his pain. Before he committed suicide the kids knew about her A and why he ended his life. and for what?

[autumnnight]

You should tell your H before someone else does.

 

Everyone there knows what is going on, the OM has bragged about it to others, and just like my friend, someone will either call him or send him a picture or a letter.

 

You should have quit your job rather than go on this trip where you planned on cheating again.

 

Someone will tell him, but you should tell your H before they do.

 

too bad you do not have better boundaries. So much pain for the rest of your family. My friend committed suicide after he found out from his wife's friends about her A.

 

She did not really love him, and you can't since you put your wishes ahead of his pain. Before he committed suicide the kids knew about her A and why he ended his life. and for what?

 

I echo this. Not only have neither of you been discreet, you have antagonized a WHOLE lotta folks. It's gonna get back to your husband. If you are that afraid of losing it all you better confess instead of getting caught.

[apeman101]

You have no respect for your husband or for your marriage. Shame on you !. The longer you keep it the more damage you are doing to yourself & your husband. You had an affair, take responsibility. Your marriage is pretty much dead. Its not like the other man's F**ked you without your permission.

[stillafool]

Yes I know I said I wouldn't and the hotel changed when the trip dates were altered earlier in the week. Being in same hotel has certainly aided the continuation of this. I know dh deserves better but I just want to get back to the way we were. Going to

Finish out the week and take a break from here and will report back in a few weeks/months with an update

 

You wanted this to happen all along and you know it and so does OM. If you didn't you would have changed hotels. You were thirsty for OM all along and was glad this trip would give you a chance to be with him. For goodness sake why don't you free your husband. He deserves so much better. I really don't understand why you are here because you aren't taking the advice. You would probably be better off on one of those sites that promotes cheating on your spouse. Why don't you google one. OM certainly didn't use you or take advantage of you.

[beach]

You didn't take one single precaution/suggestion that would change this.

 

You didn't:

 

Quit the job

Get tested for diseases

Talk to a counselor

Tell human resources you couldn't attend

Tell your husband

Change hotels

Not talk to the OM

Not drink alcohol

 

 

Can you see it really is on you - because you didn't take action to change any of it? In fact you did everything you said you wouldn't do.

 

Our actions define who we are.

 

You don't want to quit seeing him - so at least tell your husband.

 

And get tested!!! Mr player most likely carries diseases.

[Giraffe2014]

Ap went home sick tonight not surprising there is a bug sweeping amongst us. People have been so sick they have flown home ill not see him again I've signed him off the event. With the broader team now and they all echo the same, that ap the party boy MUST be sick not to party as it's what he does well! Anyhow he's gone. This week has been a use of each other and as the woman ya I do feel used. It's my own fault, I talk to my dh and child many times daily yet balance ap on the other side.

I'm a disgrace. Girlfriend said to me tonight that I light up a room and it's amazing how people flock to me etc. maybe I've become too attached to so in which case I should out of my marriage as set my good husband free. But I know I don't want ap long term, he's a serial cheater ad no good. Yet I'm not much better to a good man. But that good man is what I want to get back to

[beach]

Ap went home sick tonight not surprising there is a bug sweeping amongst us. People have been so sick they have flown home ill not see him again I've signed him off the event. With the broader team now and they all echo the same, that ap the party boy MUST be sick not to party as it's what he does well! Anyhow he's gone. This week has been a use of each other and as the woman ya I do feel used. It's my own fault, I talk to my dh and child many times daily yet balance ap on the other side.

I'm a disgrace. Girlfriend said to me tonight that I light up a room and it's amazing how people flock to me etc. maybe I've become too attached to so in which case I should out of my marriage as set my good husband free. But I know I don't want ap long term, he's a serial cheater ad no good. Yet I'm not much better to a good man. But that good man is what I want to get back to

 

 

Yes absolutely get out of the marriage. It's no longer what your H thinks it was.

 

You are a gal that needs major attention and validation from men - be single since that's what you are intent on pursuing.

 

Let your H know it's not his fault - you are broken.

 

And you were NOT used - you volunteered! Quit acting like the victim!

[Giraffe2014]

Deep down I know you're right I don't need this superficial bull. Destined by my own virtue to be miserable. Ap is a different fish, he does this all the time with no remorse and while he's not married or had kids he's in a 11 year relationship. I still don't want him though, my husband and I have a far better connection with lots in common me and him was solely excitement and sex. If I do really stop this can I fix my life and go back to being a decent woman or mother or am I just a player now I've done it once?

[beach]

Deep down I know you're right I don't need this superficial bull. Destined by my own virtue to be miserable. Ap is a different fish, he does this all the time with no remorse and while he's not married or had kids he's in a 11 year relationship. I still don't want him though, my husband and I have a far better connection with lots in common me and him was solely excitement and sex. If I do really stop this can I fix my life and go back to being a decent woman or mother or am I just a player now I've done it once?

 

Why don't you attempt an honest answer to your own question? Look at your past actions/history before you answer...

[Giraffe2014]

But why did I do this again? I feel like abhor as I thought I would . Worthless and cheap. Yet I went back. Wtf like

[DKT3]

But why did I do this again? I feel like abhor as I thought I would . Worthless and cheap. Yet I went back. Wtf like

 

You planned to and wanted this week to happen all along. You talk about going back, but you never stopped.

 

Now your going on about not being marrried. Yeah, whatever, you are far too selfish to do anything that benefits anyone outside of yourself. Its soo sad because you are a married mother.

[I_Give_Up67]

Ap went home sick tonight not surprising there is a bug sweeping amongst us. People have been so sick they have flown home ill not see him again I've signed him off the event. With the broader team now and they all echo the same, that ap the party boy MUST be sick not to party as it's what he does well! Anyhow he's gone. This week has been a use of each other and as the woman ya I do feel used. It's my own fault, I talk to my dh and child many times daily yet balance ap on the other side.

I'm a disgrace. Girlfriend said to me tonight that I light up a room and it's amazing how people flock to me etc. maybe I've become too attached to so in which case I should out of my marriage as set my good husband free. But I know I don't want ap long term, he's a serial cheater ad no good. Yet I'm not much better to a good man. But that good man is what I want to get back to

 

 

 

This thread feels like when I was a teenager sitting at the movie theater watching a low budget horror movie. There a scene with a hot babe with a Sony Walkman listening to very loud music with her back turned and there is a knife wielding maniac sneaking up behind her. I and all of the other movie goers are screaming at the screen, "turn around!!!". Of course the hot babe never turns around, and the maniac slices and dices her to pieces.

 

 

Giraffe- You are the hot babe in the above analogy and your infidelity is the knife wielding maniac. The well intentioned people replying to your thread are the screaming movie goers telling you to turn around! But for some reason like the hot babe in the horror movie, you can't hear us???

 

 

I probably could have come up with a better analogy, but why bother?

[beach]

But why did I do this again? I feel like abhor as I thought I would . Worthless and cheap. Yet I went back. Wtf like

 

I guess because your delusional about attention from the OM meaning something. It means nothing to him - but to you... Well you were a willing participant in selling yourself out.

 

No going back. Might as well get honest. Tell your H.

[GollumsNightmare]

This thread feels like when I was a teenager sitting at the movie theater watching a low budget horror movie. There a scene with a hot babe with a Sony Walkman listening to very loud music with her back turned and there is a knife wielding maniac sneaking up behind her. I and all of the other movie goers are screaming at the screen, "turn around!!!". Of course the hot babe never turns around, and the maniac slices and dices her to pieces.

 

 

Giraffe- You are the hot babe in the above analogy and your infidelity is the knife wielding maniac. The well intentioned people replying to your thread are the screaming movie goers telling you to turn around! But for some reason like the hot babe in the horror movie, you can't hear us???

 

I_Give_Up67:

 

 

I had to laugh because I would bet the OP read your quote like this:

 

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ...hot babe...blah de blah, blah, blah...hot babe...blah de blah blah de blah blah...hot babe...blah blah blah blah...hot babe...Oh em gee! They think I'm a hot babe! I DO light up a room and people flock to me..."

Edited March 26, 2015 by GollumsNightmare

[I_Give_Up67]

I_Give_Up67:

 

 

I had to laugh because I would bet the OP read your quote like this:

 

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ...hot babe...blah de blah, blah, blah...hot babe...blah de blah blah de blah blah...hot babe...blah blah blah blah...hot babe...Oh em gee! They think I'm a hot babe! I DO light up a room and people flock to me..."

 

^^^^^