harrybrown Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 What about NC? and avoiding stds? and thinking of your kids and your H? No more A bombs on your marriage. It blows up the whole family. you can be strong. Tell your H to come be with you. Choose him over the OM for once and continue to do so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Why aren't you telling him to buzz off? And why did you allow him into your personal space enough to kiss you (again)? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I have been studying this thread.... I believe it's a troll thread...everything written is used to invoke either empathy or anger...doesn't seem authentic. just my opinion Think you're on to something, SS. most OPs would have done SOMEthing by now, but giraffe didn't follow up on ANY of the suggestions to date. I agree. Trolls just want to bate posters. It's working. Link to post Share on other sites
Mazerati Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I have been studying this thread.... I believe it's a troll thread...everything written is used to invoke either empathy or anger...doesn't seem authentic. just my opinion Think you're on to something, SS. most OPs would have done SOMEthing by now, but giraffe didn't follow up on ANY of the suggestions to date. I agree. Trolls just want to bate posters. It's working. Considering the OP has uncharacteristically stopped, I am also suspicious. Looking back, SS has a point, and MM, is spot on too. Sigh... Maz Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I don't believe she is a troll at all. I believe that she feeds on attention, good or bad. I believe she is a serial cheater because she feeds on attention. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I don't believe she is a troll at all. I believe that she feeds on attention, good or bad. I believe she is a serial cheater because she feeds on attention. I agree - and has no boundaries - and poor decision making skills. And lacks speaking up when she could. All of it causes harm. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulStorm Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I don't believe she is a troll at all. I believe that she feeds on attention, good or bad. I believe she is a serial cheater because she feeds on attention. I could go with that. I'm still very skeptical though Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) Nevermind .... Edited March 20, 2015 by JohnsonBaby Link to post Share on other sites
Seachan Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I also don't believe Giraffe is a troll. She sounds just like my late wayward mother. Very self-involved. Very unremorseful. I don't think most people understand the plight of "stunningly beautiful" women. Their beauty - and the currency that comes with it - has a shelf-life and does not last forever. As beautiful women age, they lose their ability to effortlessly draw attention and favors. They can no longer smile their way out of a speeding ticket, they won't be given free passes at concerts, they won't be given special privileges and allowances from their bosses, etc. For beautiful women, the older they get, the more impoverished they become in society. Giraffe, and other beautiful WW who don't want to lose their BH's - is drawn to her AP because he gives her the false sense that she's still got it, beauty-wise. Deep down she is terrified of the loss of youth and what that means for her. This is why she can't stay away from her AP and why she will succumb to another fix from him at this work travel meeting that she is so "dreading". I just don't understand how someone can be so careless as a mother. Why the heck is she getting plastered drunk and partying? Doesn't she have a child who needs her? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giraffe2014 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Ahhh! Trip is Monday. I leave Monday. Haven’t spoken to AP since Weds, we didn’t speak then just chit chat. How and ever all well with DH, really getting my head back into family life, I will be strong and looking to the future once this trip is done. I am not a troll, definitely not. Seachan had me pretty spot on. Ok, so don’t see myself that way exactly but if I was to study me as an outsider its close. AP gave me a lot of attention and flattery. For some bizarre reason I entertained him last October. Prior to this I have been married many years, with plenty of male attention and advances which were kicked to the curb with serious disgust. I went out that night in October, I was a couple months after a bit of a family crisis personal breakdown, which I never acknowledged. I took HIS bate. Him. I kind of became transfixed on HIM as I left my guard down with him. I would never in a million years entertain this again or any other guy. As horrible as it sounds, was like, I already showed him me so was easier to keep going back. Was exciting, fun. He wanted it full time and whenever I stuck in my heels he was a closed book. Being a man he will take sex from me anytime and place, I know this. So that’s it. Work trip coming up, hes at my disposal. In my heart and soul I want to come home having no contact with him, my head held high. Alternatively I can have him any night and be a wreck in work and at home the following week. I know every encounter is fun and exciting but the aftermath is self loathing and guilt. So what will it be?... Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Ahhh! Trip is Monday. I leave Monday. Haven’t spoken to AP since Weds, we didn’t speak then just chit chat. How and ever all well with DH, really getting my head back into family life, I will be strong and looking to the future once this trip is done. I am not a troll, definitely not. Seachan had me pretty spot on. Ok, so don’t see myself that way exactly but if I was to study me as an outsider its close. AP gave me a lot of attention and flattery. For some bizarre reason I entertained him last October. Prior to this I have been married many years, with plenty of male attention and advances which were kicked to the curb with serious disgust. I went out that night in October, I was a couple months after a bit of a family crisis personal breakdown, which I never acknowledged. I took HIS bate. Him. I kind of became transfixed on HIM as I left my guard down with him. I would never in a million years entertain this again or any other guy. As horrible as it sounds, was like, I already showed him me so was easier to keep going back. Was exciting, fun. He wanted it full time and whenever I stuck in my heels he was a closed book. Being a man he will take sex from me anytime and place, I know this. So that’s it. Work trip coming up, hes at my disposal. In my heart and soul I want to come home having no contact with him, my head held high. Alternatively I can have him any night and be a wreck in work and at home the following week. I know every encounter is fun and exciting but the aftermath is self loathing and guilt. So what will it be?... Well enjoy the sex, cause there will be plenty. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 The fact that you're trying to convince YOURSELF through this whole thread means you have no strength to stay away from him. The fact that you still ask the question at the end - means you don't trust yourself. The fact that you say you've stayed away since October - yet he kissed you a few days ago means your not being honest with yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 The fact that you're trying to convince YOURSELF through this whole thread means you have no strength to stay away from him. The fact that you still ask the question at the end - means you don't trust yourself. The fact that you say you've stayed away since October - yet he kissed you a few days ago means your not being honest with yourself. I don't think she has been very honest at all in this entire thread. What sticks with me is the comment "I thought he would be like all the others I toyed with" I have no doubt that this isn't her first affair. I also have no doubt that she is looking forward to this trip, I'm sure its been something they have been looking forward to for a while. She isn't serious about ending this, that why she makes it sound like its out of her control. Were she serious she wouldn't be going on the trip, since she has no control over sleeping with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Ahhh! Trip is Monday. I leave Monday. Haven’t spoken to AP since Weds, we didn’t speak then just chit chat. How and ever all well with DH, really getting my head back into family life, I will be strong and looking to the future once this trip is done. I am not a troll, definitely not. Seachan had me pretty spot on. Ok, so don’t see myself that way exactly but if I was to study me as an outsider its close. AP gave me a lot of attention and flattery. For some bizarre reason I entertained him last October. Prior to this I have been married many years, with plenty of male attention and advances which were kicked to the curb with serious disgust. I went out that night in October, I was a couple months after a bit of a family crisis personal breakdown, which I never acknowledged. I took HIS bate. Him. I kind of became transfixed on HIM as I left my guard down with him. I would never in a million years entertain this again or any other guy. As horrible as it sounds, was like, I already showed him me so was easier to keep going back. Was exciting, fun. He wanted it full time and whenever I stuck in my heels he was a closed book. Being a man he will take sex from me anytime and place, I know this. So that’s it. Work trip coming up, hes at my disposal. In my heart and soul I want to come home having no contact with him, my head held high. Alternatively I can have him any night and be a wreck in work and at home the following week. I know every encounter is fun and exciting but the aftermath is self loathing and guilt. So what will it be?... Wow, this is cold. This is one of the most unremorseful people I've ever seen post on this site. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
tippydog90 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 All I can say is I hope her BH has hired a PI. He needs the truth and away from his WW. Wow. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mazerati Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) Ahhh! Trip is Monday. I leave Monday. Haven’t spoken to AP since Weds, we didn’t speak then just chit chat. How and ever all well with DH, really getting my head back into family life, I will be strong and looking to the future once this trip is done. I am not a troll, definitely not. Seachan had me pretty spot on. Ok, so don’t see myself that way exactly but if I was to study me as an outsider its close. AP gave me a lot of attention and flattery. For some bizarre reason I entertained him last October. Prior to this I have been married many years, with plenty of male attention and advances which were kicked to the curb with serious disgust. I went out that night in October, I was a couple months after a bit of a family crisis personal breakdown, which I never acknowledged. I took HIS bate. Him. I kind of became transfixed on HIM as I left my guard down with him. Iwould never in a million years entertain this again or any other guy. As horrible as it sounds, was like, I already showed him me so was easier to keep going back. Was exciting, fun. He wanted it full time and whenever I stuck in my heels he was a closed book. Being a man he will take sex from me anytime and place, I know this. So that’s it. Work trip coming up, hes at my disposal. In my heart and soul I want to come home having no contact with him, my head held high. Alternatively I can have him any night and be a wreck in work and at home the following week. I know every encounter is fun and exciting but the aftermath is self loathing and guilt. So what will it be?... Read the bold, and I think you pretty much know. How cold and narcissistic you are. You talk so cheap. I had hopes, but after reading this self serving tripe where you once more talk about you and AP, and your BETRAYED not DEAR H is relegated to a few meager sentences. You are not sincere. Your BH deserves his freedom from you narcissism. Maz Edited March 22, 2015 by Mazerati format 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Wow. Just wow. That is some cold hearted stuff. Amazing that she can sleep,at night. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Men agreeing to sex isn't anything special - "most" will take from anyone that's willing. The few that don't take the opportunities are the real keepers. Yet - I'm confused - what keeps you from moving on emotionally after this particular guy? Is it that he's so well liked by others and you feel you've gotten him as your conquest? If that's the case - please don't be delusional about that. He just sees you as another opportunity waiting to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dental Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 What sticks with me is the comment "I thought he would be like all the others I toyed with" ..... This is the tell. A comment like this you see rarely, and can only come from the mouth of a hardcore narcissist. The relation OP has with the members of this forum can be viewed in this (narcissistic) light. OP is on a podium, under the spotlight, gets all the attention and the members are the audience. That's the relationship, she is boss. There is no real communicating, listening, reacting, getting mad at digs, there is no real introspection at all, no learning curve. All her posts are fake. She says things that she thinks members will react to in a way that pleases her, that make her feel important, fits her narrative. She is on our minds, we think about her. Alas, it's all manipulation. The members here are like everybody else in her life, exchangeable twerps, to be toyed with, for OP's convenience and amusement. Off course OP is not interested in dialogue. Why should she, she is always right. And how dare cokehead reject (extremely beautiful) OP? No man has ever done that! This has to be fixed! This dent in the illusion of OP's indefinite beauty has to be repaired. How will OP repair said dent? By fv€king cokehead the first available moment on the work trip, probably in the morning in the car park, before the introductions and first cup of coffee. Anyhow, this thread is very interesting though, to have the opportunity to peek inside the mind of a narcissist, and be able learn from that. It's what it is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulStorm Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 The wise thing for all of us to do is stop posting to this thread. She doesn't want advice, she just wants an audience. She is manipulating us, just like she's manipulating her husband and "jack the Lad" I hope she has fun cheating on her husband, but what goes around eventually comes around Yep dental this was definitely a trip into the mind of a narcissist. A trip I'm disgusted in taking 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 The wise thing for all of us to do is stop posting to this thread. She doesn't want advice, she just wants an audience. She is manipulating us, just like she's manipulating her husband and "jack the Lad" I hope she has fun cheating on her husband, but what goes around eventually comes around Yep dental this was definitely a trip into the mind of a narcissist. A trip I'm disgusted in taking I agree. Reading this thread makes me want to go take a bath. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thummper Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think soulstorm got it right. She's off in her own little fantasy, especially with the very special work trip she'll be making. I predict she'll have lots of fun while there. Maybe she'll think of her faithful hubby waiting for her back home...in between her "fun." Poor guy. If he only knew. Wait, though. If I've learned one thing by reading these threads it's that cheaters, who think they're so clever and careful, usually make a simple mistake, their cheating has to face the light of day, and their marriages come crashing down. Oh well, you play, you pay. Hope it'll be worth the pain and suffering to everyone involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Why did you not take your H with you? How would you feel if he had a trip where he was going to have an A? I hope he would not have the same lack of boundaries that you are showing to the OM. Hope you find a way to get into NC with the OM or to give your H his freedom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giraffe2014 Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Taking DH on trip wasn’t an option! Dental, my posts may sound fake to you, sometimes I read them and think “Who the hell is she?” Anyway, due to 101 glitches we both arrived at the hotel tonight, early. About 50 of us had to fly (Not surprising, schedule was potentially going to change etc). So here I am, in my room alone. I didn’t look at his messages, and he did message but didn’t enter my company as I had my team with me and he wouldn’t overstep the mark. Day 1 done and dusted. Give the girl a medal I hear ya say. Confused and all over the place, ok guilty. Never ever looked at another man since I was dated DH! Marriage aside, not since we dated! Fact So do I truly trust myself this week? , no not really, But I will do it and will do so on a day to day basis. We can go round in circle’s about right, wrongs and all the rest of it but this is truly how I feel. Would feel so liberated to come home having a clean slate. People won’t understand how this is hard for me. I am not looking for sympathy! Nor am I looking for an audience. Believe me I know what I have did is shocking. I could of course take the sex and go. But this will make me feel 101 emotions, guilt being the strongest. Actually also makes me feel very cheap. Because while this was an affair to begin with, last 10 weeks has been nothing but horrid sex and or whatever you want to call it. Nothing short of a call girl. After our first encounter we talked, this was the time we decided (At work) to keep going. No strings attached. Ya, that happened, then of course emotions crept in and we had a halt of that which prompted my initial post. For all intents and purposes he does this as a lifestyle, as a first for me, I couldn’t/can’t move on as quick. I know it should be easy when I have it all. A great husband and child… I KNOW THIS! Maybe I am just evil Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 You are an HIV case waiting to happen. You say this is a lifestyle for the OM. Do you know where his penis has been? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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