That's all folks..

[Chi townD]

Dude, do I really need to post? I swear I wish I knew where you were so I could find you and smack you in the back of the head. Even your counselor told you to get out there and get involved! What clubs have you joined? What fun activities are you engaging that is keeping you busy?

[na49]

Well, I gave into the urge. Everything I thought was true is still true. She's with the guy who had a crush on her. I don't exist on her page anymore. They're official and everything. She loved hearing that he had a crush on her. He was waiting for her to leave me, and once she did, she was free to pursue this new relationship. I feel used. abused, worthless. I feel like my time with her was a waste. but most importantly I feel angry.

 

I talked with my mom about what I saw, and she brought up a good point. It's better for me to have looked and saw her for who she is than to feel down, and wonder if she misses me (because I was wondering). She doesn't miss me. She hasn't missed me. I obviously needed another fire lit under my @ss, and I got it. Hopefully this will be the last time. I'm angry enough where I may block her number, and leave it blocked.

 

If I was going to do it, I'm glad I did it today. Tomorrow I meet with my counselor, and can talk about all of these feelings I have right now.

[Stercrazy]

I hope it brings you closure and clears your thoughts. Sometimes getting the information you seek helps.

Now.....here are the facts. You will be a better person from this experience so don't think you wasted time. You are going to grow into a better you.

You deserve to be loved.

You deserve better. You will meet someone better.

[Hopeful714]

I'm glad you looked. See...it's over. Your sitting moaning and she's out having a great time with her new fb official bf! See what you're dealing with here? She dumped you for someone else. She isn't crying over you...doesn't miss you.

 

I'm not trying to be mean but I hope you see now you have to move on as she already has.

 

Feel silly that your visiting a counselor while she's out having a ball? I sure did. Now it's time to get busy. Make a plan for yourself. And don't peek again.....at least for a very very long time.

 

And again, beware. Tides change...she's in the honeymoon period now with that dude but it won't last forever. And if and when it goes sour you need to be on the road to your new life and be prepared in case she contacts so you can nicely but firmly say f-off!

 

Keep up the counseling and begin to make a plan for yourself. Time to toughen up!

[na49]

Well it beats asking myself "what if?". I honestly don't feel like it was as big of a setback as I was expecting. If anything, I just confirmed what I already knew. It wasn't surprising to see a new picture of her with this guy. She's already writing how much she loves him, he's got his hands all over her, posting how he knows her better/treats her better than someone who's known her for a long time, etc.

 

Sure, it's probably the honeymoon phase, but I don't even want to call it that. That's just an excuse for me to believe that once it's over she'll be back. Maybe this guy actually does love her, want to marry her, and not just stick his d*ck in any open hole.

 

One thing that I found kind of interesting on her page was that she made a status a week after she dumped me. She was saying how "not everyone in her life was supporting her life decisions". First I thought this meant that people didn't approve of her leaving me (I like to believe this). It probably meant that people didn't support her jumping into a new relationship right away. Thankfully all of her "close friends" approve of her decision. That one person who yelled at her from a car was right. She really does have a new guy every week.

 

Also, I feel silly that I still miss her. I don't feel silly about going to counseling. I've got plenty more issues outside of this breakup, and I realize I need help dealing with them.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, I guess this was inevitable. You've been holding onto a non-existent rope for a long time now. I really hope you don't have this urge again, though I'd be surprised if you don't. You've been stubbornly holding on; I'm expecting that hold to continue in some manner. Keep going to the counselor and please, please, do something social.

[McDonald]

Na! welcome back!! It looks like I'm a little late to the party. Funny cause I haven't been on this in about a year... but it seems the old crew has come back for a reunion. Hope all is well my man. You've been through this before, you know how to deal, you're a pro.

 

btw Only a post by Na would reach this many pages, everytime lol.

[darkbloom]

I am going to have to agree with chi townd. If I knew where you lived, I would drive to your house and smack you on the back of the head.

 

No girl is worth ending your life over. Please come back to the light. There are many more girls out there to love who will love you back and treat you better. You must take control of your life.

[na49]

It was inevitable that I'd look. It was either see her with this guy, and realize that they are in a relationship. or, I keep believing the lie that I was telling myself. It was the first time that I saw a picture of her with another guy who had his hands all over her. There was another picture of them where she is holding his hand, and they were standing really close to each other. She wrote about how great he is, and is already saying she "loves" him. Pretty much everything she wrote about me the week before she left.

 

I feel stupid for ever wanting to end my life over this. Everyone can tell me how evil she is. I won't believe it until I see it for myself. Well, I saw it yesterday. Maybe I can start taking her off the pedestal. I hope those suicidal thoughts stay away. People deal with things much worse than this and survive it. I think I can be strong enough to handle my first relationship ending.

 

Hey McDonald, welcome back. Yep, I'm back to this sh*t lol. I hope you've been doing well.

Edited March 12, 2015 by na49

[AIJ]

The night before my ex broke up with me, she was telling me how this guy was telling her friends he was interested in her. She sent me a picture of him, like I'm supposed to be like 'oh yeah he's attractive you should definitely dump me for him'.. like what was I actually supposed to say to that? She sent the picture along with 'but he knows I have a boyfriend'. Like she was disappointed by that.. I just acted like I didn't care and went to sleep. Broke up the next day. Pictures of us instantly removed from her Instagram. A week later, there's one of that guy and her cuddled up to eachother Sucks, however I think it was definitely for the best in the long run. She has contacted me twice since, once on the phone, I was incredibly blunt with her. Once over whatsapp, I ignored both of her messages. I am trying to move on, been broken up for like a month and a half now, there's still a tiny bit of me that hopes she'll come back for whatever reason. It's tough.

[na49]

Wow, that is eerily similar to what happened to me. It's nice to remind myself that I'm not alone (and you aren't alone either). I'm sorry that happened to you, but we are all here to support you. My ex hasn't reached out to me at all, but maybe it's better that way. I don't need her asking me to be friends, or telling me she's sorry (but not sorry enough to come back).

 

My counseling appointment today went really well. I believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but she made me realize that I can't go from step 1 to step 25 overnight. It's not going to happen like that. I can make the little changes, and grow with them. She encouraged me to continue to talk to the girls around me, and eventually maybe ask one of them if they wanted to get coffee or something.

 

She also told me to try researching something that will benefit my future (like jobs, internships, etc) before I go to bed rather than thinking about her. If I'm looking up things that will benefit my future, I may dream of the future instead of her. I told her how badly my dreams about her effect me. She said those dreams won't go away until I stop hoping she'll be back.

[McDonald]

All is well over here Na. No real relationships since that last one, but some flings and on and offs with girls. TBH im okay with it haha. I have times where im like damn wish I had a GF, but eh not really. There is this girl im talking to but I too kto long to make a move and now she stopped talking to me haha. Seems I rather ust texts some girls for an ego boost than actually meeting them up,

 

happy you are talking to a counselor. Seems like it is helping. One day you will snap out of it.. thats how it will happen. No amount of advice make you snap out of it. It will help you cope, but eventually you'll just not care anymore.

[Hopeful714]

You sound great! Yes! Think of future stuff for you....jobs, apts or houses...cars..motorcycles...what ever you want that will make YOU happy.

 

I promise the next time you peek (in a few months I hope)you will start to see how far you've come. And you may be surprised at how she stayed the same...or got worse. And never forget....they only post the happy stuff on fb!

 

There still may b hard day's...but I'd say your on the recovery bus!

 

 

 

Hello old crew.....i remember you all! And, I learned tons here thanks to everyone!

[Situasian]

Hey Na, you sound like your getting better already Keep up the good work. Every time i come on here i always check this thread first to see how you are progressing . Just keeping plugging on man and you will get there. Atm i am pretty much over my ex and if i can do it so can you! I've ignored her last few texts and even my friends have said to me recently that i seem a lot happier and more upbeat than they have ever see me and that includes the 4 years i was with her. I hope you keep going on strong buddy

[AIJ]

Struggling massively today. Incredibly ill so I've been in bed today and yesterday, and it's given me a lot of time to sit here thinking things through. I would try and get myself doing something to take my mind off but I'm aching all over and really can't be bothered. Caved in and looked at her social media for the first time in a while, nothing much of interest, a few things about 'if you're unhappy in a relationship, leave', superb stuff. Really feeling the urge to contact her now, I just miss having her to talk to

[Stercrazy]

Sometimes not feeling well physically brings out the emotional want of being taken care of. You can care for yourself. Don't cave. Keep moving forward. You don't need her.

[AIJ]

Sometimes not feeling well physically brings out the emotional want of being taken care of. You can care for yourself. Don't cave. Keep moving forward. You don't need her.

 

I've definitely moved past the 'needing' her phase, I'm well aware I can live without her and I can be very happy without her however I still want her. It's really hard to pick faults in someone I had so much in common with, and with someone that was so physically attractive I felt I was punching well, well above my weight. Thing is, I can't actually contact her even if I wanted to, I've removed any means necessary of contacting her, the only way I can ever contact her again is if she reaches out to me. Which she did, a few weeks back, however I ignored her.

 

Fortunately (or unfortunately, however you wish to look at it), a friend of mine is going through a break up so we're kind of both there to lean on eachother. It's very interesting to see it from her perspective though, she done the dumping, and her relationship followed an eerily similar pattern to mine!

[na49]

Thanks everyone, I really felt like yesterday was the best session I had with my counselor thus far. I didn't forget to talk about anything, so I feel like I got it all out. My counselor gave me some great insight about how I need to "evict her from my head because she isn't paying the rent". I like the comparison because I think it works. She doesn't belong in my thoughts anymore, and I have to actively try to get her out.

 

I'm happy to say that I did not dream about her last night. I don't remember exactly what I dreamt about, but it wasn't her. I spent last night looking for Masters programs that are close by, and psychology related internships. My counselor suggested I keep a chart of how often I obsessively think about her.

 

I did wake up thinking about the pictures that I saw on her Facebook. The picture of her new guy with his arm around her, the picture of them holding hands and standing close to each other. I thought about seeing her comments where she says how much she "loves him". Thinking about all of this just made me angry/disgusted. I'm not even feeling that bad about being replaced right now. My ex leaving me for someone else says A LOT more about her, than it does about me.

 

Really hoping I can keep feeling this way.

[Situasian]

You will be fine mate, it's all a work in progress. I find actually coming on this thread and writing on it makes me feel a lot better as i know everyone who writes on here is going through the same thing. I am sure a few months down the road we will all read this thread again and think wtf was i thinking about her/him for when in all honesty we were better off without them. The only thing i miss is the company she use to give me on the weekends when my mates were all working or doing something with their partners but i know eventually this will pass in time. I have no doubt i'll hear from her again but just got to remain strong and know i deserve better...actually we all deserve better

[rebel]

Jeez this site is awesome... so many people going through the same stuff lol.

 

Same deal here, had girlfriend, split up. Devastated. Got her back against all odds years later, not lost her again.

 

Its super super painful. Best advice I can gve is to talk to your friends, family etc. Everyone is puling for you and it feels soooo much better which you have a convo about how you are feeling with family members or mates.

[na49]

We are all in this together. I have to remind myself that I'm not the only person to have their heart broken. Slowly but surely, I think I am burning the statue I have of her in my head, and seeing her for who she is. I still think about the pictures that I saw on her Facebook, they make me feel a little uneasy, but it beats where I was earlier this week. I'm not living a lie, or feeling suicidal. All traces of me are gone. She's moved on to someone new.

[Hopeful714]

Just keep hanging in there and moving forward. Ill never forget the things I saw on Fakebook. And although most say do complete no contact and don't look, I think sometimes you have to look to jolt yourself into reality. Jmo.

 

It's been 6 months since I peeked last. No desire to do so since. In the past 2.5 yrs. I looked about 4 times total. Only when I really needed to. I got the insight that I needed. I see things clearly now....or however clear you think you can decipher from the distorted fake personas most people try to portray of themselves on there. Anyhow, I'm good! In time you will be too!

[na49]

I don't think that looking at their Facebook obsessively is good, but for where I was at, it was the only way. I needed to kill all of the delusions I had. It probably sounds stupid, but I really think that looking at her Facebook was good for me.

 

I've missed her at times since, but I remind myself that she is with someone, and left me to be with him. I don't deserve that. No one deserves to be treated that way. I'm just going to take things a day at a time right now. I can't be over this by tomorrow. If I keep seeing my counselor, I can build back my self esteem, and be more comfortable talking to new people.

[AIJ]

Stupidly caved in and looked at her Twitter and Instagram. Pictures of her and the new boy she's seeing, or in a relationship with, floating around. Went out last night for his birthday with a few of his friends. I feel awful.

 

Feel like me and na49 are going through an incredibly similar experience. Really is horrible.

[McDonald]

AIJ everyones going to check their ex's social media... It is just a way relationships and breakups work nowadays. Kind of funny how I am also studying for a final tomorrow And one of the topics is "why we experience emotion in response to social media" lol. anyway I digress.

 

I remember that it was hard for me to stop looking at my ex's social media accounts. I didnt block or anything, so I did keep looking at it. Then one day, like about 5or 6 months later... I realized that I havent checked on it in a few weeks. Then another month past and I somehow saw a picture of her and the OM she left me for, but I didnt really feel anything. No feeling of shock, no heart dropping to my stomach, no tingly feelings in my hands like before.

 

What I am saying is, though we can talk about our emotions and our feelings with others, and avoid them at all costs, yes this can make us feel better, but it wont help us move on from our emotions- Eventually you will just snap out of it. Sounds dumb but I swear to you it will happen. one day, you'll wake up and not really care about them anymore.

 

Now if that doesn't work then I am screwed for tomorrows exam lol.