Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Um so you would argue with the cdc itself the worlds leading center for disease control really? interesting..well lets take a look at the ideas that height itself can also be affected by nutrition or the lack of decent nutritional choices also substance abuse smoking a lot of external choices one can make can also affect or stunt growth..but let me guess im wrong there to ha? And no there is no greater "justification" over another when it comes to personal choice as its subjective to start off with. So your in essence sitting there complaining cause some women will not date short men but its perfectly fine for men to have their standards sorry thats bubkiss..lol Congrats on the weight loss but that still gives you no more right to pass harsh judgement on others when it comes to this subject.. Also not to mention you make no sense cause if you take two people one high metabolism and one the opposite and you feed them the exact same diet the one with the slow metabolism will indeed gain weight with out havering to even over eat as you suggested thats just common sense thats genetics itself at work.. lastly I dont belive I said anywhere that genetics them selves solely can make a person obese but they can and do play a role in the entire process for many.. You make it sound like weight is only an issue for women. Its not. Like I said diet should be customized to your physical needs. Obesity is not genetic in the sense that someone is bound to become obese due to their genetics
Ruby Slippers Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 This would have made sense if it weren't for the fact that women also choose men bases on how attractive their faces are. so in essence height is an addition requirement women put on men that does not have an equivalent in men. The point stands: Many men and women favor prospects with certain physical qualities they were born with and can't do much to improve. I agree that the comparison of male height to female weight isn't a good one, because weight can be reduced through lifestyle changes, whereas height can only really be increased through surgery. But most short/shorter guys out there have passed over plenty of women for physical qualities beyond their control. So don't act all surprised when women do the same with you.
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Being overweight is unhealthy being short isn't, that's one difference no one can deny. Plus I actually think most men aren't as rigid about weight requirements as some women are for height. There is such a thing as a "chubby chaser", but there aren't female "short man chasers". There are female short men chasers!! Right on this thread are women who PREFER short guys!! And sorry but I doubt men are rejecting fat ladies because of health concerns!! I bet it's as hard for a very overweight person to change their habits and ways of thinking enough to get fit as it is for a height obsessed guy to change HIS way of thinking and be okay with who he is!! So what if there are a SOME women who will not date you because you're short, actually there are a whole bunch of us who don't give a hoot!! Pick one of us!!
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) The point stands: Many men and women favor prospects with certain physical qualities they were born with and can't do much to improve. I agree that the comparison of male height to female weight isn't a good one, because weight can be reduced through lifestyle changes, whereas height can only really be increased through surgery. But most short/shorter guys out there have passed over plenty of women for physical qualities beyond their control. So don't act all surprised when women do the same with you. well no girl has pass over me specifically because of height as far as I know, The reason I am taking the side of short men on this stuff is cause I think most of the arguments presented here for why female height requirements are justified is bunk. Make no mistake, I don't think women should be required to give short men a go if they don't want to. I am just saying the whole ideology and way of thinking about height is pretty ridiculous. If a girl likes taller men, that's fine but if she generally thinks that shorter men are a lower grade of men just by the virtue of being shorter, that's ****ed up, and unfortunately I think this way of thinking might be more prevalent than people might think or even be self aware. The whole argument that height requirements in women are mirrored in how men also have certain physical preferences is like comparing 100 to 101. Yes the two numbers are pretty close, but 101 is still higher than 100. In the same way men do have many physical preferences, but women have just as many and an additional one in the form of height requirements (this is not to mention socioeconomic standing which is not a physical feature of course) Edited February 4, 2015 by you_can_not_see_me
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 It's simple....you are attracted to what you are attracted to. 1
Mangina Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I don't think height can be compared to weight. Not because of health, but simply because its not as bad. Short guy or fat guy? I think short guy wins by a long shot.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 It's simple....you are attracted to what you are attracted to. What you find attractive has been consistent through out your life?
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 What you find attractive has been consistent through out your life? Yes........since I was 13....I'm 50.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Yes........since I was 13....I'm 50. Interesting, well I can't say I am the same, I used to only find white and middle eastern women attractive as a teenager, but after high school I started finding women of other races attractive as well.
Dybbuk Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Ok, well I may have derailed the thread with my comparison to weight, but overall my entire message was first and foremost "Don't try to convince the people who are not attracted to you, to give you a shot anyway because physical attraction is something you can't control. It does not make them a bad person. They are human and like all of us have things that they are attracted to, and things they are not attracted to." I read somewhere earlier that it's not that messed up to have a bias against fat people as partners, because fat = unhealthy. Just FYI I have spent years managing my weight. Eating well and exercising. I run 5 miles every other day and I'm not skinny girl. So saying that being overweight = unhealthy is not true. Technically my BMI puts me in the realm of "overweight", but according to my doctor's visits I'm fine and should continue to maintain my diet and workout. Please realize that bodies are built differently and you don't have to be SKINNY to be healthy. Regardless, no guy has looked at a girl and turned her down because he's wondering if she has a predisposition for heart disease or high blood pressure. He turns her down because he doesn't like looking at her body and it doesn't turn him on. I made this point simply because after I lost a lot of weight, some guys still saw me as a 'fat' girl even though I wasn't really that big. Did I lead a crusade for chubby women everywhere and say that's a ****ty reason for not going out with me? No, I accept their reasoning and the fact they aren't attracted to me and I MOVED THE HELL ON. End of story. I think unless you have walked in the shoes every kind of person there is, you don't really have the authority to say "This is worse than that." Short guys have it tough. What about guys who are going bald at a young age? I dated a guy with alopecia areata, and he was always SO insecure about his patchy hair growth on his head/beard he would constantly ask me if "I noticed, If I could tell, if it bothered me." I once talked to a guy online who had a lazy eye. He told me before I even met him because he didn't want to 'surprise' me. Yes, some people can be cruel *******s and that can forever scar you when you're trying to date... but insecurity is not sexy. Confidence is sexy. Self acceptance is sexy. You can bet that there are plenty of standards that women have against them that men don't. Breast size for instance. It's very common for women to undergo painful surgery just to have larger boobs because there are some men who won't even bother looking at you if you don't have a womanly body. Is a woman with a small A cup a lower grade woman simply because she is flat and not curvy? No. Are there some men who just can't help it that they like big boobs and won't date a woman who is flat chested? YES. Those men exist. Flat chested women have to get over it and deal with the hand they've been dealt and find a guy who is ok with a flat chested woman. I don't think anyone has said women are justified in being cruel and mean to short guys that approach her. I feel like as long as people are kind and polite when they decline your advances they have done nothing wrong. I think if a woman refuses to give a guy a chance because he doesn't reach a certain height, she is losing out on many opportunities to date a nice guy for a superficial reason. HOWEVER, my point was that EVERYONE is justified in having traits that they desire in another person and if you don't meet that criteria from a person you fancy then move on and remember that someone else will. I get so tired of these threads where people victimize themselves and try to CONVINCE everyone that they should disregard their own personal preferences because that somehow makes them a ****ty person for not wanting to date "X type of person". 4
guest569 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Yep women definitely face a lot more scrutiny about their appearance than men do, for a lot of features, not just height. It gets frustrating when people keep playing the victim and blaming others for not being attracted. It just makes them seem bitter and entitled. Whilst I think its terrible for peoplle to say nasty things about height, weight, appearance.. If you take such comments too seriously, you're not doing yourself any favours. It's off putting to potential matches. 1
Shining One Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 A bit off topic, but I wish everyone's preferences were a bit more "advertised". It would be great to walk into a venue, look at all of the women there, automatically eliminate all of the ones whose standards I don't meet, and then spend my time talking to the others. It would be a huge time saver and the ego would get bruised less frequently. 1
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 A bit off topic, but I wish everyone's preferences were a bit more "advertised". It would be great to walk into a venue, look at all of the women there, automatically eliminate all of the ones whose standards I don't meet, and then spend my time talking to the others. It would be a huge time saver and the ego would get bruised less frequently. That isn't how it is. Yes everyone has a preferance to what attracts them, but like the a poster said women are attracted to confidence and a man that carries himself well. Guys are more narrow minded about attraction IMO and your post proves it. I know not so great looking unbuff guys that have the karisma, confidence and charm that women just swarm around them. Women eat that stuff up, because we work on an emotional scale....hit us up on our emotional side you will have us ditching our preference anyday. You go in with a negative attitude, hating on women....it's like bug repellant. We can feel it, and we run from it....it creeps us out. 1
Shining One Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Guys are more narrow minded about attraction IMO and your post proves it.I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion based on what I posted. I'm actually very open minded on what I find attractive. I suppose I should have used the word requirements instead of preferences. I was simply pointing out how much easier it would be if this information were readily available. All the confidence/charisma/charm in the world does no good if the woman has a requirement you cannot meet. You go in with a negative attitude, hating on women....it's like bug repellant. We can feel it, and we run from it....it creeps us out.I did not intend my post as an attack on women. If women did more approaching, then you could easily switch the genders around in my post and it would make just as much sense. If you were out looking for a man, wouldn't it make your search easier if you could easily eliminate all of the ones whose requirements you don't meet? 2
TigerLilly78 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 If you were out looking for a man, wouldn't it make your search easier if you could easily eliminate all of the ones whose requirements you don't meet? Actuialy as a women for me its always been kinda easy to get a vibe off of men on who is avaiable to me and who is more intrested and who is not. Its in the way they talk to you and approach you maybe im just better at picking up social ques I dunno. The only ones I ever had any issues with were the guys who were to nervous or afraid to start off with..
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Actuialy as a women for me its always been kinda easy to get a vibe off of men on who is avaiable to me and who is more intrested and who is not. Its in the way they talk to you and approach you maybe im just better at picking up social ques I dunno. The only ones I ever had any issues with were the guys who were to nervous or afraid to start off with.. Of course cause its guys who approach, how would you not know who was interested?
Phoe Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I did not intend my post as an attack on women. If women did more approaching, then you could easily switch the genders around in my post and it would make just as much sense. If you were out looking for a man, wouldn't it make your search easier if you could easily eliminate all of the ones whose requirements you don't meet? As a woman who has to approach men (and fails at it!) I agree, it would be so much easier if it were possible to know what each man in a room is looking for, and narrow down my options from there. But alas, dating cannot come quite that easy 2
TigerLilly78 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Of course cause its guys who approach, how would you not know who was interested? Ive aproached my fair share of men.. 1
Erised Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I I did not intend my post as an attack on women. If women did more approaching, then you could easily switch the genders around in my post and it would make just as much sense. If you were out looking for a man, wouldn't it make your search easier if you could easily eliminate all of the ones whose requirements you don't meet? This is fair. Of course, nature of the beast. Just as most the important requirements you can not immediately tell whether a man or a woman meets them. There will be "wasted" time.
somedude81 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 A bit off topic, but I wish everyone's preferences were a bit more "advertised". It would be great to walk into a venue, look at all of the women there, automatically eliminate all of the ones whose standards I don't meet, and then spend my time talking to the others. It would be a huge time saver and the ego would get bruised less frequently. God I wish that was possible! There would be so many women I wouldn't waste my time talking to because they are a heightest.
Erised Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 God I wish that was possible! There would be so many women I wouldn't waste my time talking to because they are a heightest. While I personally do not, having a personal preference when it comes to one's own attraction is not a prejudice. It is not the same as judging a group as worse or better in general. It's merely attraction. I wouldn't want to date a guy who was not highly intelligent, and it's not discriminatory towards men who are not. A woman doesn't owe relationships to everyone in an equal opportunity basis. She can have preferences. Also, I'm pretty sure if it was some type of legitimate discrimination, the suffix you'd be looking for is -ist, i.e. heightist. 3
stillmind Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I want a man bigger than me, so at 5'4" myself both the hypothetical medium and tall guys would qualify lol But I like average faces more than pretty ones on men, honestly...
NJ123 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 So I measured myself before & I'm not even 5'7" like I used to think I was. I'm only about 5'5" without shoes, and 5'6" & a half with shoes on. It's pretty ****ed up. Now that gives me even less options. I really was over the height thing, now this is just depressing since I couldn't even lie & say I'm 5'7" anymore even if my drivers license says it.
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