Moy Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Girls really told you guys stuff like that??? I m only 5'9 and the only people who every told me I was short were my brothers and a couple friends as a joke to be funny. No woman has ever called me short, let alone in such a rude manner as you guys describe. The first quote is 6pack's situation above. Situations 2 and 3 I have had said to me.
Dybbuk Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 you_can_not_see_me: I agree 100%. Short men have it way harder than any tall average looking dude any day, and I do not claim that short guys do not face a clear disadvantage in the dating scene. My only point was that certain physical traits are desired by both sexes, not just women, and you can't get around that. It might behoove some men to remind themselves to be open minded in who they search for, and accept the fact that they will need to be diligent in searching for a woman who doesn't care how tall they are (not that this is directed at anything you said, but the general attitude I find in these types of threads). I would also counter argue that height and weight preferences can be somewhat analogous. Some people like myself have a predisposition to being heavier. I come from a family of overweight people and while I have gone to great lengths to control my weight (healthy diet and exercise), I am not a skinny girl. I always put "A little bit extra" on my dating profiles because that's what I see myself as. True no one is really born overweight, but it has been shown that genetics plays a part in a person's ability to maintain a healthy weight. Additionally there is more of a social stigma attached to being 'overweight'. I've seen people flat out say that fat people must be lazy, lack willpower, and self control in order to be the size they are. There isn't really anything personal one can infer from a short guy other than... "Oh he's short, not my thing." Pros and cons to both. Overweight people CAN lose/control their weight, but often times people will write them off immediately when they look at them because they associate fat = lazy/weak. Short guys CAN'T do much for their height, but if someone isn't put off immediately that they're short they have a chance to make any kind of impression they want on them w/o already having something inferred immediately based on a single physical trait. That's more apples vs. oranges, but overall everyone has got some flaw/fault physically they must overcome by accepting that they cannot change the minds of everyone around them. Instead they must put themselves in a positive frame of mind, learn to let it go if a person rejects them and remember that not everyone is fixated on the physical. Remind yourself you should not be fixated on the physical either and be open to dating people with a few flaws of their own.
somedude81 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I agree with your general sentiment, BUT I don't think height preferences are analogous to weight preferences, for the obvious reason that weight can be changed and no one is born being overweight, while height is permanent (unless someone does some serious surgeries) and its genetic. Whining about women's height preference won't help a guy of course, but I do legitimately think short men in the current dating world with its negative bias towards short men has them at a distinctly unfair disadvantage. That is my primary problem with women who exclude men based on height. They try to say that it's the same thing as men excludiing women based on their weight but it's absolutely not the same thing for the sheer fact that people can lose weight. I personally know women that used to be very big and were ignored by men. Then those women lost a lot of weight, and now men are interested in them. Short men can't do that!
Dybbuk Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 @Somedude: I address that statement above, but I used weight as an example because that's what I experienced. To be clear: -I lost 100 lbs. 2 years ago. I never dated before that. Men were not interested. -Started OLD and guess what... some men still found me 'too fat'. I'm a size 12 which is a little larger than most average girls my height, but I'm definitely no longer fat. However that was just something I had to deal with and be at peace with that I just wouldn't fit in a lot of guys parameters because of my size. My whole point is that you cannot please everyone. There will be some guys who I will never be 'good enough' for because they place a high importance on physical characteristics. Frankly that's not someone I have any desire to be with. A heavy woman being told "No" by a man who takes one look at her, isn't that much different from a short man being told "No by a woman who takes one look at him. Both have to deal with the fact that they don't meet that person's physical criteria for dating. Weight is just one parameter. I have one girlfriend who was born with a lazy eye. She's never had a BF. It's not that noticeable, but I've known her for so many years I forget she has it until she mentions it. She can't change this about her... but men aren't interested. What's she going to do? Complain that everyone only "wants this"! No. I tell her to be positive, live a happy life, and never fear rejection. If someone want's to overlook her because of one flaw (she's got a great body, educated, and employed) then good riddance! She is open to someone who can accept her for what she is... and good looking short guys... believe me plenty of wonderful women out there who have flaws too that will overlook the height issue.
udolipixie Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) dude you are looking up dictionaries which relate to language convention. Often people use similar things interchangeably in language, doesn't mean they are the same exact thing. Actually the first part is a language dictionary term after the ";" is the mathematical definition. Seems like in the mathematical sense medium is the average not a range. Edited February 4, 2015 by udolipixie
mariekatie Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 It's true most girls would be attracted to tall and handsome guys. For me, i'm the same BUT when it comes to dating, i wouldn't mind dating an average looking guy who is at least the same height as me (i'm 5'7). Probably not someone shorter as i would feel "big" beside him :/ I personally wouldn't date an handsome face due to insecurities and i would think that he would have higher chance of cheating (sorry to say this).
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 you_can_not_see_me: I agree 100%. Short men have it way harder than any tall average looking dude any day, and I do not claim that short guys do not face a clear disadvantage in the dating scene. My only point was that certain physical traits are desired by both sexes, not just women, and you can't get around that. It might behoove some men to remind themselves to be open minded in who they search for, and accept the fact that they will need to be diligent in searching for a woman who doesn't care how tall they are (not that this is directed at anything you said, but the general attitude I find in these types of threads). I would also counter argue that height and weight preferences can be somewhat analogous. Some people like myself have a predisposition to being heavier. I come from a family of overweight people and while I have gone to great lengths to control my weight (healthy diet and exercise), I am not a skinny girl. I always put "A little bit extra" on my dating profiles because that's what I see myself as. True no one is really born overweight, but it has been shown that genetics plays a part in a person's ability to maintain a healthy weight. Additionally there is more of a social stigma attached to being 'overweight'. I've seen people flat out say that fat people must be lazy, lack willpower, and self control in order to be the size they are. There isn't really anything personal one can infer from a short guy other than... "Oh he's short, not my thing." Pros and cons to both. Overweight people CAN lose/control their weight, but often times people will write them off immediately when they look at them because they associate fat = lazy/weak. Short guys CAN'T do much for their height, but if someone isn't put off immediately that they're short they have a chance to make any kind of impression they want on them w/o already having something inferred immediately based on a single physical trait. That's more apples vs. oranges, but overall everyone has got some flaw/fault physically they must overcome by accepting that they cannot change the minds of everyone around them. Instead they must put themselves in a positive frame of mind, learn to let it go if a person rejects them and remember that not everyone is fixated on the physical. Remind yourself you should not be fixated on the physical either and be open to dating people with a few flaws of their own. I disagree. First off, while its true that some people have higher metabolism and as a result can eat more without gaining weight, there is no one who is naturally inclined to be overweight, that is generally accepted in medicine. The reason people gain weight has to do with lifestyle, diet and who they socialize. Each person's diet is supposed to be customized to their size and metabolism. Often people gain weight because they eat the same portions as other people who might have higher metabolisms or be larger (which means they need more calories). This is why when couples diet with one another its often found that the guy loses more weight! its because on average men have higher metabolism and are bigger so they need higher caloric intake, but in spite of they both eat the same amount. Now this doesn't mean people should be judgmental towards overweight people. Weight management can be very difficult under certain circumstances (psychological, and socioeconomic reasons). But that doesn't change the fact that being overweight is something you can do something about and it is not due to genetics. second reason I disagree is, that being overweight is a health hazard, while being short is not. So I don't think being short should be regarded as negatively as obesity at all. At most I believe shortness should be regarded simply as a feature someone might not be a fan of, but its shouldn't be held as a negative point against someone at all. In fact this kinda mindset is pretty toxic. It can lead to women thinking they are settling with a shorter man and inadvertently having a lower regard for the guy. The healthy way of thinking about should be that you either like the guy or you don't and his height should be held as a strike against him.
udolipixie Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 It's true most girls would be attracted to tall and handsome guys. For me, i'm the same BUT when it comes to dating, i wouldn't mind dating an average looking guy who is at least the same height as me (i'm 5'7). Probably not someone shorter as i would feel "big" beside him :/ I personally wouldn't date an handsome face due to insecurities and i would think that he would have higher chance of cheating (sorry to say this). That seems like short-changing yourself. 1
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 It's true most girls would be attracted to tall and handsome guys. For me, i'm the same BUT when it comes to dating, i wouldn't mind dating an average looking guy who is at least the same height as me (i'm 5'7). Probably not someone shorter as i would feel "big" beside him :/ I personally wouldn't date an handsome face due to insecurities and i would think that he would have higher chance of cheating (sorry to say this). seriously, You are like the second or third girl in this thread who has said something like this. Why are girls so paranoid? makes you wonder if some of the girls who keep going cold and hot are actually girls who think the guy is too good looking. girls you 're either too attractive or ugly to them 1
Moy Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 That is my primary problem with women who exclude men based on height. They try to say that it's the same thing as men excludiing women based on their weight but it's absolutely not the same thing for the sheer fact that people can lose weight. I personally know women that used to be very big and were ignored by men. Then those women lost a lot of weight, and now men are interested in them. Short men can't do that! No, but we CAN gain weight in the form of muscle. The automatic association with short is 130lb wet through. I'm 5'8", 170lbs, 13% body fat so even though I'm lacking in size, I'm in good shape. And that STILL yields no results!!!!
ascendotum Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 It's true most girls would be attracted to tall and handsome guys. For me, i'm the same BUT when it comes to dating, i wouldn't mind dating an average looking guy who is at least the same height as me (i'm 5'7) I personally wouldn't date an handsome face due to insecurities and i would think that he would have higher chance of cheating ... The way you word this it sounds like when it comes to dating (relationships) you'd go for average height guy, but with the BUT there it seems like when it comes to fun nsa sex times you'd go for the taller/handsome guys as you admit to liking them more but would be worried about them being faithful, so you play it safe on the relationship front. 1
mariekatie Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The way you word this it sounds like when it comes to dating (relationships) you'd go for average height guy, but with the BUT there it seems like when it comes to fun nsa sex times you'd go for the taller/handsome guys as you admit to liking them more but would be worried about them being faithful, so you play it safe on the relationship front. I'm not the "looking for fun" kind of person. So what i really meant is, i'm usually attracted to guys of the same level as me. Of course i do like looking at attractive tall guys but i wouldn't even think of dating them.. seriously, You are like the second or third girl in this thread who has said something like this. Why are girls so paranoid? makes you wonder if some of the girls who keep going cold and hot are actually girls who think the guy is too good looking. girls you 're either too attractive or ugly to them I'm paranoid because of trust issues. I used to be chubby (i'm 5'7, 155 pounds) & every guy that i knew makes fun of me, the others would say i have a very pretty face but could lose some weight. My ex boyfriend even cheated on me with my best friend because he said she was prettier, smarter and slimmer. The most ridiculous part? He was below average but very tall as according to what people tells me... I admit that if a guy is too attractive, i'll be paranoid and back off haha. Now that i've lost weight, i still feel insecure but my guy tells me i'm beautiful every day. That seems like short-changing yourself. haha perhaps it seems so but that's not what i meant! I'm just not "attracted" to tall handsome guys when come to dating. I want to date someone of the same level.
insert_name Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Well I didnt mean to sound like I was hating on women, nor demonizing; to the contrary, I was actually trying to describe a strange "hatred" that I have received occasionally, in both real life and in OLD. But yes, I agree, I think it is more of a social dynamic. And, again, I dont mind that I might not fit in to any particular person's preference or type (after all, I have preferences as well), but why be angry/hateful about it? It just seems erratic or odd. The hate is quite telling. Height is genetics, its basic stuff, of course we all want to be 6 foot tall but some of us cant because of our genes- how can you mock someone over something they have no choice about?! Its quite literally is the same as laughing at someone who has been blind from birth- mocking someone for a physical attribute they had no choice over. So imo if a woman is going to go to that length to try and make someone feel embarassed over something that is not their fault then that says a HELL of a lot about the sort of person that they are and also the sort of bullet that you have just dodged! 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 This thread again! I thought all the male height threads had been merged into one. I would pick the tall guy with average looks. I'm tall myself, and height is one of the main physical attributes that turns me on. I find many kinds of faces attractive. I've dated tall men, men my height, and men a little shorter and will continue to do so. Yes, we all want to win the genetic lottery, and tall guys have won in the domain of height. But I never quite understand how incensed shorter men get about women who are honest about being more attracted to tall guys. Those same short guys prefer certain aspects of female looks that are also genetic, completely beyond the woman's control. Most guys are going to go for the women with the prettiest faces, a genetic feature that they also had no control over. Are you going to give the not-so-pretty girls a chance because "it's not fair" not to? 1
TigerLilly78 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 That is my primary problem with women who exclude men based on height. They try to say that it's the same thing as men excludiing women based on their weight but it's absolutely not the same thing for the sheer fact that people can lose weight. I personally know women that used to be very big and were ignored by men. Then those women lost a lot of weight, and now men are interested in them. Short men can't do that! At its core it is the same thing as it is being judged and rejected for your physical appearance wither or not one can in some eyes magically "change" their appearance is not relevant. The starting points are the same and the mentality is still the same both groups get to some extent "put down" on a regular basis. And yes it is a preference for men and im not saying men do not have this right to not want to date overweight women of course they do long as they are respectful about it. But that said if they choose to not want to date based off of that alone then they must also allow women the right to make their choices its simple. There is no need to get angry cause some women choose not to want to date shorter men there are plenty of women who will just like there are a decent percentage of men who dont care about a women's weight ive never been with out dating options when I chose to date so I dont know why you think some get ingored 24/7..lol
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I understand it feels bad to have a physical trait that isn't the same as what is considered "ideal" like height in men is, but seriously!!! Why worry about it so much and get mad when some women honestly say they are attracted to it, I'm not mad if you say you are attracted the most to beautiful women with amazing boobs and waist hip ratio!! Also I disagree with you guys who say passing on an overweight person is "different" because she can change her weight, that doesn't matter, she is being rejected because of how she looks and if it's shallow for women to reject a man for how he looks it works both ways doesn't it??
TigerLilly78 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I disagree. First off, while its true that some people have higher metabolism and as a result can eat more without gaining weight, there is no one who is naturally inclined to be overweight, that is generally accepted in medicine. The reason people gain weight has to do with lifestyle, diet and who they socialize. Each person's diet is supposed to be customized to their size and metabolism. Often people gain weight because they eat the same portions as other people who might have higher metabolisms or be larger (which means they need more calories). This is why when couples diet with one another its often found that the guy loses more weight! its because on average men have higher metabolism and are bigger so they need higher caloric intake, but in spite of they both eat the same amount. Now this doesn't mean people should be judgmental towards overweight people. Weight management can be very difficult under certain circumstances (psychological, and socioeconomic reasons). But that doesn't change the fact that being overweight is something you can do something about and it is not due to genetics. second reason I disagree is, that being overweight is a health hazard, while being short is not. So I don't think being short should be regarded as negatively as obesity at all. At most I believe shortness should be regarded simply as a feature someone might not be a fan of, but its shouldn't be held as a negative point against someone at all. In fact this kinda mindset is pretty toxic. It can lead to women thinking they are settling with a shorter man and inadvertently having a lower regard for the guy. The healthy way of thinking about should be that you either like the guy or you don't and his height should be held as a strike against him. From the CDC "centers for disease control" web site...they also do go on to talk about environment and lifestyles as factors but indeed genetics can play a role in being over weight.. "Overall there are a variety of factors that play a role in obesity – behavior, environment, and Genetics may have an effect in causing people to be overweight and obese" End of the day no one should be hated on based off of physical factors be it overweight or short but one is not "better" then the other or more deserving of attention people have preferences when it comes to dating and thats it and they are all entitled to them what ever they may be..
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 So yeah this question is primarily aimed at women. I m hoping for honest opinions, no judgement! So girls would you say a tall guy with average looking face is more attractive to you, or a guy of medium height but good looking face? I know Ideal would be good looking face and tall, but that's not the question;) I'm seeing a man who is about 2 inches shorter than me and would not be considered handsome by most standards. He's a bit overweight--has a belly, no fashion sense at all. He is the kindest, funniest most considerate guy I've known in a very, very long time. I really enjoy his company. We've been out twice in the last week, walking around, driving, having coffee. My ex-LDR was tall but not handsome. In fact, he looked like George Washington on the $1 bill, minus the wig. He was bald on top. I liked his wit, mind and conversation. Your answer depends upon the age of the woman, what her preferences are, whether she puts more store in packaging or the substance of the man
No Limit Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I'm only 5'3 so I can very honestly say that I'd take a small guy too. (admittedly, small in the relative sense; not a guy smaller than me, though I've never seen one yet so I guess chances for me dating a guy below 5'3 is extremely low anyway) Although in the end, it's the whole picture that has to be right. If he's an inch smaller than me but I like everything else about him, I wouldn't care about his size at all.
hudson701 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The way you word this it sounds like when it comes to dating (relationships) you'd go for average height guy, but with the BUT there it seems like when it comes to fun nsa sex times you'd go for the taller/handsome guys as you admit to liking them more but would be worried about them being faithful, so you play it safe on the relationship front. Yes that's a well known truism of women- it's called alpha ***s/beta bucks (AF/BB)- Google it- it's been covered extensively in behavioural psychology and intergender relationships.
venusishername Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I'm a sucker for tall guys, so I'd pick tall. Of course, I'm very small, so everyone is tall to me!
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I understand it feels bad to have a physical trait that isn't the same as what is considered "ideal" like height in men is, but seriously!!! Why worry about it so much and get mad when some women honestly say they are attracted to it, I'm not mad if you say you are attracted the most to beautiful women with amazing boobs and waist hip ratio!! Also I disagree with you guys who say passing on an overweight person is "different" because she can change her weight, that doesn't matter, she is being rejected because of how she looks and if it's shallow for women to reject a man for how he looks it works both ways doesn't it?? Being overweight is unhealthy being short isn't, that's one difference no one can deny. Plus I actually think most men aren't as rigid about weight requirements as some women are for height. There is such a thing as a "chubby chaser", but there aren't female "short man chasers".
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 From the CDC "centers for disease control" web site...they also do go on to talk about environment and lifestyles as factors but indeed genetics can play a role in being over weight.. "Overall there are a variety of factors that play a role in obesity – behavior, environment, and Genetics may have an effect in causing people to be overweight and obese" End of the day no one should be hated on based off of physical factors be it overweight or short but one is not "better" then the other or more deserving of attention people have preferences when it comes to dating and thats it and they are all entitled to them what ever they may be.. You are just repeating yourself and not actually addressing what I said. It is a misrepresentation to say that genetics can make you obese. Genetics does not make people obese, all it does is it makes some people burn calories faster than others, and because of that people who naturally burn fewer calories are more likely to become obese if they overeat. But even people with lower metabolism would not be obese if they did not overeat. Furthermore even people with lower metabolisms can increase their metabolisms with exercise, so there really is no biological predisposition to obesity in humans. This is all coming from a guy (me) who used to be obese and who lost all the extra weight. I feel for women and men who feel overlooked because of their weight, but honestly for all things that someone might be overlooked for I do believe being overweight is the most justified one, especially since people can do something about it.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 This thread again! I thought all the male height threads had been merged into one. I would pick the tall guy with average looks. I'm tall myself, and height is one of the main physical attributes that turns me on. I find many kinds of faces attractive. I've dated tall men, men my height, and men a little shorter and will continue to do so. Yes, we all want to win the genetic lottery, and tall guys have won in the domain of height. But I never quite understand how incensed shorter men get about women who are honest about being more attracted to tall guys. Those same short guys prefer certain aspects of female looks that are also genetic, completely beyond the woman's control. Most guys are going to go for the women with the prettiest faces, a genetic feature that they also had no control over. Are you going to give the not-so-pretty girls a chance because "it's not fair" not to? This would have made sense if it weren't for the fact that women also choose men bases on how attractive their faces are. so in essence height is an addition requirement women put on men that does not have an equivalent in men. 1
TigerLilly78 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 You are just repeating yourself and not actually addressing what I said. It is a misrepresentation to say that genetics can make you obese. Genetics does not make people obese, all it does is it makes some people burn calories faster than others, and because of that people who naturally burn fewer calories are more likely to become obese if they overeat. But even people with lower metabolism would not be obese if they did not overeat. Furthermore even people with lower metabolisms can increase their metabolisms with exercise, so there really is no biological predisposition to obesity in humans. This is all coming from a guy (me) who used to be obese and who lost all the extra weight. I feel for women and men who feel overlooked because of their weight, but honestly for all things that someone might be overlooked for I do believe being overweight is the most justified one, especially since people can do something about it. Um so you would argue with the cdc itself the worlds leading center for disease control really? interesting..well lets take a look at the ideas that height itself can also be affected by nutrition or the lack of decent nutritional choices also substance abuse smoking a lot of external choices one can make can also affect or stunt growth..but let me guess im wrong there to ha? And no there is no greater "justification" over another when it comes to personal choice as its subjective to start off with. So your in essence sitting there complaining cause some women will not date short men but its perfectly fine for men to have their standards sorry thats bubkiss..lol Congrats on the weight loss but that still gives you no more right to pass harsh judgement on others when it comes to this subject.. Also not to mention you make no sense cause if you take two people one high metabolism and one the opposite and you feed them the exact same diet the one with the slow metabolism will indeed gain weight with out havering to even over eat as you suggested thats just common sense thats genetics itself at work.. lastly I dont belive I said anywhere that genetics them selves solely can make a person obese but they can and do play a role in the entire process for many.. 1
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