SoThatHappened Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 You don't realize it now because your heart is still running things. Once your head gets back in charge you will jump for joy that you didn't knock this girl up. Man, she sounds like my ex. Although my ex didn't do what yours did, the timing, mentality, and so many other things sound way too familiar. You have to act like she died. Seriously. Stay far, far away from this girl. Change your number, block everything. She'll suck you in if you let her then your life would be over. Run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 i know i should just forget her and move on but its tough for me for some reason. when she told me she was going to divorce him and get back with me i was all for it....we got back together but then she told me she couldnt be with me....but then wanted me to come see her and talk to her and i just couldnt...like why should i? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 i know i should just forget her and move on but its tough for me for some reason. when she told me she was going to divorce him and get back with me i was all for it....we got back together but then she told me she couldnt be with me....but then wanted me to come see her and talk to her and i just couldnt...like why should i? "her:i love him...i couldnt dream of a better man coming into my life...hes not better than you at all and you are wonderful..me and him just have more in common." Tattoo this on your forehead and do not ever forget it. I guess she knew exactly what she was going to do in Texas. She loves him they got married. They are the primary relationship here, you were just a diversion for a while, you will always be second best. Forget her, and do not end up being her cuddle buddy, whilst her man is doing his job. She now feels guilty and needs your approval, that is no basis for an ongoing relationship. Many dumpers feel the need to make the dumpee comfortable to assuage their own guilt. If the dumpee can be made to feel happier about the break up then the dumper can sleep better at night. It doesn't mean they want to get back with them, it just means they sleep better at night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainoflight Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My question is Does the other man knows about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Invictus01 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 She now feels guilty and needs your approval, that is no basis for an ongoing relationship. She NOW feels guilty? To pull off something like that and only NOW feel guilty about it, your moral compass needs to be so far off, I am not sure she knows what guilt is. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My money is still on your ex picking up with ANOTHER man even after you while still married. If she doesn't have a backup guy, she will always have one eye wandering for one. Poor husband. Don't waste anymore seconds on this one at all. She has zero scruples. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 The other guy doesn't know admit me.Hell I didn't know about him till she told me.she said we have a great relationship but she didn't see anything long term and this his ambition to succeed is greater than mine....mostly because he was into drugs and turned his life around... Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 it is rough Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 The other guy doesn't know admit me.Hell I didn't know about him till she told me.she said we have a great relationship but she didn't see anything long term and this his ambition to succeed is greater than mine....mostly because he was into drugs and turned his life around... Be with a woman who has the ambition to be faithful. Leave her in the pasture. You deserve so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Be with a woman who has the ambition to be faithful. Leave her in the pasture. You deserve so much better. right i just dont see what shes amazed he turbed his life around Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 No matter what her husband has or hasn't done she is enthralled with ANY drama to spice up her life. Once he is off on duty someplace, she will be mind numbing bored and will go looking for dramatic romance with you or any guy who will have her. She's THAT type. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 right i just dont see what shes amazed he turbed his life around Maybe the drugs is why they split up and now he has made a huge effort and turned his life around, then there was no longer anything to stand in their way. You can look at this anyway you like, but the fact of the matter she goes to Texas to meet this guy in the military, a guy she has a long history with and married him. If it wasn't so tough on you, it actually sounds pretty romantic and the stuff movies are made of. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
idoltree Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Just another angle that I haven't seen anyone mention yet - People* rush into marriages in the U.S. military because being married gets you better things. Off-base housing allowance, salary increase, etc. I know when I was dating a military guy, he started talking about marriage after only a couple of months, and specifically mentioned the salary and housing benefits. I think people want the extra stuff, so they get married to get it. It's part of the reason military folks are somewhat notorious for marrying really young, and, either because the impulsiveness speaks to character of the individuals or because of the young age at the time of commitment, the young marriages can be filled with lots of drama.* Disclaimer: I hope I'm not insulting anyone, I definitely don't mean that all military marriages are like this. Just that there are certainly conditions leading to impulsive decision-making about marriage that tip the scales for some people, and those people tend to be young like OP's ex. This gal may have done this because being with a guy in the military is ~romantic~, because she gets an identity and status that go alone with being a military wife, and because it's profitable. None of this is a reason to want to be with this girl, but it may help explain some of the "WTF?" stuff you're experiencing. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Just another angle that I haven't seen anyone mention yet - People* rush into marriages in the U.S. military because being married gets you better things. Off-base housing allowance, salary increase, etc. I know when I was dating a military guy, he started talking about marriage after only a couple of months, and specifically mentioned the salary and housing benefits. I think people want the extra stuff, so they get married to get it. It's part of the reason military folks are somewhat notorious for marrying really young, and, either because the impulsiveness speaks to character of the individuals or because of the young age at the time of commitment, the young marriages can be filled with lots of drama.* Disclaimer: I hope I'm not insulting anyone, I definitely don't mean that all military marriages are like this. Just that there are certainly conditions leading to impulsive decision-making about marriage that tip the scales for some people, and those people tend to be young like OP's ex. This gal may have done this because being with a guy in the military is ~romantic~, because she gets an identity and status that go alone with being a military wife, and because it's profitable. None of this is a reason to want to be with this girl, but it may help explain some of the "WTF?" stuff you're experiencing. Life or death situations tends to concentrate minds into what is and isn't important. For a military person who may be putting his/her life on the line, then just waiting around in relationships like others tend to do, may not seem so sensible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 they never dated before Link to post Share on other sites
alexwood Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Move on dude Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 July-December, no sex, she goes away for a weekend and marries someone else because of a pact? Well, aside from being a basketcase, I guess at least now she gets them sweet military benefits. Good lord, OP, you have no idea the bullet you have dodged. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 You have no choice because a relationship requires two willing participants. She is married my friend - you have no business calling her or begging her to take you back. That ship has sailed and it's time to stop torturing yourself. I am sorry friend but true recovery starts when you acknowledge that it's time to move on. Are you ready to make that decision? Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 You have no choice because a relationship requires two willing participants. She is married my friend - you have no business calling her or begging her to take you back. That ship has sailed and it's time to stop torturing yourself. I am sorry friend but true recovery starts when you acknowledge that it's time to move on. Are you ready to make that decision? no i dont think so Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 It could be worse. You could be on the front lines, dodging bullets, and wondering who she's getting experience with back home. Count your lucky stars. Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 sloots gonna sloot Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 sometimes i sit and wonder if its my fault not putting in as much effort as i should have Link to post Share on other sites
michael-034 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 What a vicious wretched bitch... Man you are way better of without her.. I mean can you believe that.. Horrible person. You got used and ****ed over, but see it as a blessing, and I know that it's hard right now, because you would never want to be with a manipulative lying bitch like that. Amazing.. This stuff happened to me too though, was engaged with my ex (unoffical though). My ex reassured me nothing was up with her and her ex, they were just friends. She came back from a holiday, dumped me within a week. Assured me she just wanted no guys and wanted to work on her school.. A few weeks later found out she was screwing her ex.. This stuff happens man. Im glad for you that it was just a couple of months and not more. She's not worth it. I'm happy that she dumped you, now you can find someone who truly loves you.. God what a manipulative slimy bitch she is.. Amazing, her logic is amazing..Totally not worth it. I wish you well Link to post Share on other sites
Author markthemango Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 like i said...he wanst an ex..they met and talked and fell in love but nothing happened because they made a pact about waiting five years but then when he was gonna get deployed he called her and told her when she visited he wanted to get married right the she went down there not knowing if she would but when she saw him she agreed to Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Want to know whats hilarious? She knows nothing about love. She sounds like she is extremely insecure and has a lot of issues. Trust me bro, this is the type of chick who would run for the hills and into another dudes arms if things didn't go her "way" sometimes - then try to manipulate her way back in. You should feel relieved that things are over between you two - just accept that its great that you got rid of a girl like this. If you ever start to think of ever taking her back, think of how she slept with another guy when she got married to him. There is nothing left for you with this girl anymore bro - invest your time and every into yourself and improve. Get revenge on this horrible person by living a great life. Link to post Share on other sites
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