Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 What you did may not have been a crime or a 'terrible sin,' but what you did, and your attitude about it since, demonstrates to everyone that you're untrustworthy and lack boundaries. That's a huge, huge problem. I couldn't care less what you think, and the truth is you can only speak for yourself not everyone. Don't point fingers unless you have the balls to own up to every indiscretion you've ever made and be judged yourself. People I've told about it in real life haven't thought it was a big deal, and I trust their opinion more than some strangers on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Because my boss was having me work overtime and on weekends she had him do something on my computer to add access to the company's server when I was outside of the office. He used this connection to screen share my home laptop and confessed to looking through all of the files on my computer some of which were very personal, hacking my email and facebook accounts...all because he was trying to see if I was involved with other guys. This went on for months. He continued hacking into my computer even after I was fired and he had promised it would end. You cannot screen scare a laptop like that. What did you do, leave your email open while at work? That seems much more likely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 You cannot screen scare a laptop like that. What did you do, leave your email open while at work? That seems much more likely. Yes, you can. You clearly don't know anything about computers. My supervisor confessed that this was how he did it and I spoke to some computer experts online who confirmed this was possible. They also helped me reinstall my operating system to get rid of his presence. Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I couldn't care less what you think, and the truth is you can only speak for yourself not everyone. Don't point fingers unless you have the balls to own up to every indiscretion you've ever made and be judged yourself. People I've told about it in real life haven't thought it was a big deal, and I trust their opinion more than some strangers on the internet. Well, that makes a lot of sense, given that you're asking for opinions on the internet. Are you always this snappy at people trying to help you? Or do you only bark at people who disagree with your choices? You seem very reactionary and impulsive, in a negative way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Yes, you can. You clearly don't know anything about computers. My supervisor confessed that this was how he did it and I spoke to some computer experts online who confirmed this was possible. They also helped me reinstall my operating system to get rid of his presence. I think I know a lot more about computers than someone who's profession is a casting intern?. Why are you being this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 Well, that makes a lot of sense, given that you're asking for opinions on the internet. Are you always this snappy at people trying to help you? Or do you only bark at people who disagree with your choices? You seem very reactionary and impulsive, in a negative way. I speak my mind and don't suffer fools, which is something people irl have often mentioned they like about it. You're the one who seems to be itching for a fight here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) I think I know a lot more about computers than someone who's profession is a casting intern?. Why are you being this way? I'm "being this way" because you happen to be wrong. Look up hacking into a computer with a remote server connection. You might also want to learn proper grammar while you're at it. Edited January 17, 2015 by tuxedo cat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 You cannot screen scare a laptop like that. What did you do, leave your email open while at work? That seems much more likely. You can install something, that will give another person access to your computer. He should have been fired for going through your personal affairs on there - was he? I do agree a bit with aggie, though, re:your attitude. I'd be feeling ashamed because I know that I'm usually better than that. I can see why you might think it okay with a trusted friend, outside of the business, I guess, but your boss doesn't know them from Adam, and they had their reasons for having employees sign agreements like that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) You can install something, that will give another person access to your computer. He should have been fired for going through your personal affairs on there - was he? Disturbingly he confessed what he did to my boss when she caught him in a lie and she didn't care. Edited January 17, 2015 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Disturbingly he confessed what he did to my boss when she caught him in a lie and she didn't care. You should be glad to not be working there. You learned a valuable lesson and you don't have to deal with those people anymore. That place sounds like a nightmare. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Because my boss was having me work overtime and on weekends she had him do something on my computer to add access to the company's server when I was outside of the office. He used this connection to screen share my home laptop and confessed to looking through all of the files on my computer some of which were very personal, hacking my email and facebook accounts...all because he was trying to see if I was involved with other guys. This went on for months. He continued hacking into my computer even after I was fired and he had promised it would end. He can't do it via standard VPN software alone (which I assume is what he would have been asked to install, officially). He would have needed to also install a third party program, and there would be traces of that. You should have taken it to a techie IRL to look for that before reformatting - could be evidence in case this turns ugly. At any rate, if you don't want to press legal charges, I'm not sure what other avenue you have, especially as you DID contravene a contract that you signed AND they have proof of that, which gives them the upper hand. Perhaps you might want to start afresh in a new place as a last resort, and certainly don't mention them as references ever again. (Also, in the future, never break a contract again) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 You should be glad to not be working there. You learned a valuable lesson and you don't have to deal with those people anymore. That place sounds like a nightmare. I am, and I did learn a lesson. I was pretty upset when it happened but I'm happy to have found nicer people to work with (at least part time). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 He can't do it via standard VPN software alone (which I assume is what he would have been asked to install, officially). He would have needed to also install a third party program, and there would be traces of that. You should have taken it to a techie IRL to look for that before reformatting - could be evidence in case this turns ugly. At any rate, if you don't want to press legal charges, I'm not sure what other avenue you have, especially as you DID contravene a contract that you signed AND they have proof of that, which gives them the upper hand. Perhaps you might want to start afresh in a new place as a last resort, and certainly don't mention them as references ever again. (Also, in the future, never break a contract again) I don't want to press legal charges. Not worth the time, money and professional repercussions. I just want to to put the whole ordeal behind me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Vultures have smelled blood 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm "being this way" because you happen to be wrong. Look up hacking into a computer with a remote server connection. Unless he had access, in person, to your laptop to install VPN, what you're claiming happened, didn't happen. I don't doubt he looked at your email when he shouldn't have, but I don't think this guy went to the trouble of breaking into your home to install software onto your computer. You might also want to learn proper grammar while you're at it. I'm not sure what the point of this comment is? What does it have to do with anything? Do you typically lash out like this? Yikes. Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I speak my mind and don't suffer fools, which is something people irl have often mentioned they like about it. You're the one who seems to be itching for a fight here. Okay, if you say so. If your attitude is so well liked, you will no trouble in your career or making friends. People like to be around people who are likable, so you'll be successful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Unless he had access, in person, to your laptop to install VPN, what you're claiming happened, didn't happen. I don't doubt he looked at your email when he shouldn't have, but I don't think this guy went to the trouble of breaking into your home to install software onto your computer. He did have access to my computer in person. Did you even read what I wrote? I said that he installed a remote connection to the company's server on my computer. Clearly he needed access to my computer to do that. I brought it in one day so he could tinker with it. I'm not sure what the point of this comment is? What does it have to do with anything? Do you typically lash out like this? Yikes. My point is if you're going to rip into me because of my profession, then your poor grammar is fair game. Are you always like this? Yikes. Edited January 17, 2015 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Ok so you made a mistake and learned from it. I would send an email being honest about what happened. I just recently quit a job where my boss hated me...for no known reason. She was awful to everyone. I put the job on my resume cause it was great experience but I let people know that I gave notice. Learn from that also. Cover all your bases! Everything will be fine. Everything happens for a reason.... Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Unfortunately I think you can count on your previous boss to screw you over, based on the fact that you violated the NDA contract that you signed when you forwarded that video to your friend via your gmail account. The fact that your old boss violates her own NDAs and throws her weight around where ethics and reason are concerned, is why she is where she is, in your industry. No one gets to the top by being squeaky clean. No one. The people who get to the top are masters at manipulating situations and people to their advantage, and to the expense of the person (victim). Fashion, Film, and Music are morally bankrupt industries. If you don't have a thick skin, can't think fast on your feet, cover your tracks when you f*ck up, aren't nice to everyone (even those who have repeatedly stabbed you in the back), and complain to anyone who works with or for you, then you will not survive or thrive or build a career. A gal I went to high school with lives in L.A. and is a casting director for indie films. The only reason she's maintained her career and income in the film industry is because she knows the rules, plays by them, and knows when and how to break the rules without it coming back to bite her in the ass. Play hard. Play smart. And for god sake, when the vultures and great whites smell your blood, put a tourniquet on and swim for the shore or you'll drown. Edited January 17, 2015 by writergal Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Unfortunately I think you can count on your previous boss to screw you over, based on the fact that you violated the NDA contract that you signed when you forwarded that video to your friend via your gmail account. The fact that your old boss violates her own NDAs and throws her weight around where ethics and reason are concerned, is why she is where she is, in your industry. No one gets to the top by being squeaky clean. No one. The people who get to the top are masters at manipulating situations and people to their advantage, and to the expense of the person (victim). Fashion, Film, and Music are morally bankrupt industries. If you don't have a thick skin, can't think fast on your feet, cover your tracks when you f*ck up, aren't nice to everyone (even those who have repeatedly stabbed you in the back), and complain to anyone who works with or for you, then you will not survive or thrive or build a career. A gal I went to high school with lives in L.A. and is a casting director for indie films. The only reason she's maintained her career and income in the film industry is because she knows the rules, plays by them, and knows when and how to break the rules without it coming back to bite her in the ass. Play hard. Play smart. And for god sake, when the vultures and great whites smell your blood, put a tourniquet on and swim for the shore or you'll drown. What made my supervisor invaluable was more than any other trait his ability to BS. In fact I'd say that's the most prized skill in the this field, while quality of work and talent are secondary. He was great at lying, being vague and covering his tracks. My boss was impossible to be honest with. For example she would expect work to be done in a time frame that was impossible. If she asked me why something wasn't done I would be honest but I noticed he would lie or make an excuse, and this went over better with her. The reality is she didn't want the truth. She was extremely neurotic and anxious, and needed somebody who always told her what she wanted to hear. My boss was herself a master of manipulation. She was awful to everyone who worked for her but would instantly turn on the charm whenever a client stepped into the office. Kind of sickening to watch in action but pretty common in the industry. Edited January 17, 2015 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 He did have access to my computer in person. Did you even read what I wrote? I said that he installed a remote connection to the company's server on my computer. Clearly he needed access to my computer to do that. I brought it in one day so he could tinker with it. My point is if you're going to rip into me because of my profession, then your poor grammar is fair game. Are you always like this? Yikes. I didn't rip into you at all, and certainly not because of your profession. I said I know more about computers than you do, given our respective professions. My grammar has nothing to do with your employment troubles. Nothing about me has anything to do with your employment troubles. It seems you like to attack people for irrelevant issues instead of accepting responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 I didn't rip into you at all, and certainly because of your profession. I said I know more about computers than you do, given our respective professions. My grammar has nothing to do with your employment troubles. Nothing about me has anything to do with your employment troubles. It doesn't follow that because I work in casting I know any less about computers. You've already demonstrated that you're not exactly tech savvy from your comments in this thread, so best to let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 What made my supervisor invaluable was his ability to BS. He was great at lying and covering his tracks. My boss was impossible to be honest with. For example she would expect work to be done in a time frame that was impossible. If she asked me why something wasn't done I would be honest but I noticed he would lie or make an excuse, and this went over better with her. The reality is she didn't want the truth. She was extremely neurotic and anxious, and needed somebody who always told her what she wanted to hear. Use every internship and freelance job you get to practice "playing the game." It's the only way you can just keep swimming and building up a good reputation. Find people you respect in your industries and use them as mentors / role models. Also, practice your b.s. skills with people like your supervisor and your former boss because I guarantee you will run into those two people again and people who are exactly like them. The more you practice dealing with those kinds of people without being reactive, the better you get at asking for what you want salary-wise and work-wise, and the more respect you'll garner. Just don't screw yourself over again by breaking any NDA contracts that you sign in the near future. It's mistakes like that, which can be career-enders. No joke. Lesson learned, right? Don't give anyone a reason to dig that mistake up again, so cover your tracks. Be hyper-organized, hyper vigilant about every conversation and every meeting you have. Keep a record of every encounter you have with someone in the business because that will come in handy later. To quote one of my favorite Nora Ephron movies [You've Got Mail]: The Godfather is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? 'Leave the gun, take the cannoli.' What day of the week is it? 'Maunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday.' And the answer to your question is 'Go to the mattresses.' You're at war. 'It's not personal, it's business. It's not personal it's business.' Recite that to yourself every time you feel you're losing your nerve. I know you worry about being brave, this is your chance. Fight. Fight to the death. Make that your mantra: "It's not personal. It's business." It's the only way you'll thicken your thin skin up enough to shield yourself against the kind of people who are just waiting for you to screw up, to take your place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Use every internship and freelance job you get to practice "playing the game." It's the only way you can just keep swimming and building up a good reputation. Find people you respect in your industries and use them as mentors / role models. Also, practice your b.s. skills with people like your supervisor and your former boss because I guarantee you will run into those two people again and people who are exactly like them. The more you practice dealing with those kinds of people without being reactive, the better you get at asking for what you want salary-wise and work-wise, and the more respect you'll garner. Just don't screw yourself over again by breaking any NDA contracts that you sign in the near future. It's mistakes like that, which can be career-enders. No joke. Lesson learned, right? Don't give anyone a reason to dig that mistake up again, so cover your tracks. Be hyper-organized, hyper vigilant about every conversation and every meeting you have. Keep a record of every encounter you have with someone in the business because that will come in handy later. To quote one of my favorite Nora Ephron movies [You've Got Mail]: Make that your mantra: "It's not personal. It's business." It's the only way you'll thicken your thin skin up enough to shield yourself against the kind of people who are just waiting for you to screw up, to take your place. Great advice. Fashion week is coming up, which means dealing with a lot of oversized egos. Good time to sharpen my skills. I wish there was a book similar to How to Win Friends and Influence People but written for cutthroat industries where different rules apply. Edited January 17, 2015 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Great advice. Fashion week is coming up, which means dealing with a lot of oversized egos. Good time to sharpen my skills. Perfect timing then! And if that mantra doesn't work, then find the nearest Starfleet Training Center and practice the Kobayashi Maru training exercise (treat the oversized egos like Klingon ships and destroy them with kindness, since the whole point of that test is to test one's character in times of fear). Live long and prosper! Nanu-Nanu! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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