Ex is engaged

[me85]

I wish I had told him how I felt when the relationship ended. I won't do it now because it would look so petty and pathetic. Still, I wish he knew that I don't feel what he did was right. Not even in a mean way. I wish I had I had said what needed to be said in a matter of fact way. Even if he only thinks I feel that way. Just swirling in some residual anger brought on by the recent revelations.

 

I wish I would have said what I needed to in a matter of fact way as well. My tone wouldn't have been mean/loud but my choice of words would've hurt him, I'm sure. For the simple fact, he hates not being liked by people in general. My words would sting even if I wasn't trying to be mean. The things I should have told him would've certainly hurt his feelings but the truth always hurts sometimes. (;

 

This is basically what I wish I would've told my ex:

 

"You made me feel useless, never good enough. You are a spoiled, selfish, immature person who doesn't know what love really is. Status, image and money are all top priorities in your life. You're disloyal, you cheat on your girlfriends, you hurt all of us. You abused me and made feel so worthless...you called me horrible names and treated me so cruel. You hurt me again and again, so many times but foolishly I believed you really loved me, that you just had serious emotional problems and I thought I could help you and make you proud to have me in your life but I failed at that miserably. You never appreciated me, you never respected me and you certainly were never in love with me. I do not love you anymore. If I could go back, I would've never gotten involved with you in the first place. You are one of the worst things that has ever happened to me in my life."

Edited January 8, 2015 by me85

[BC1980]

I wish I would have said what I needed to in a matter of fact way as well. My tone wouldn't have been mean/loud but my choice of words would've hurt him, I'm sure. For the simple fact, he hates not being liked by people in general. My words would sting even if I wasn't trying to be mean. The things I should have told him would've certainly hurt his feelings but the truth always hurts sometimes. (;

 

This is basically what I wish I would've told my ex:

 

"You made me feel useless, never good enough. You are a spoiled, selfish, immature person who doesn't know what love really is. Status, image and money are all top priorities in your life. You're disloyal, you cheat on your girlfriends, you hurt all of us. You abused me and made feel so worthless...you called me horrible names and treated me so cruel. You hurt me again and again, so many times but foolishly I believed you really loved me, that you just had serious emotional problems and I thought I could help you and make you proud to have me in your life but I failed at that miserably. You never appreciated me, you never respected me and you certainly were never in love with me. I do not love you anymore. If I could go back, I would've never gotten involved with you in the first place. You are one of the worst things that has ever happened to me in my life."

 

Your ex sounds like mine. Obsessed with public opinion. Wants to look good in the public's eyes, and he saw me as an extension of that. Once told me not to gain weight because it would reflect badly on him. I was never overweight to begin with! Who says that to another human being that you claim to love? I once remember my ex's father verbally berating me in a very cold manner (pretty sure the dad was a narcissist of some type of sociopath in the extreme) about the clothing I was wearing. I later talked to my ex and was actually crying because I was so upset. My ex showed no emotion and walked away from me, completely minimized my feelings and told me to that I was welcome to defend myself against his father. I mean, warning bells were going off left and right, and I still stayed in this half-baked sham of a relationship.

 

If you haven't already, I suggest that you make a list of all of the red flags, times that you felt abused or minimized, and any other examples of your ex's abusive behavior. Keep the list where you can easily get to it, and pull it out when you need reminding. If you are anything like me, you can get sucked back into the cycle of second guessing yourself. Looking at the good and forgetting the bad. Honestly, the only good in my relationship was superficial. He bought me a lot of things and took me on trips. I never felt loved or secure, and you have to ask yourself WHY that is when you feel that way. Something is not right when you don't feel loved or secure in the relationship. He would compliment me at times, but there always seemed to be some sort of backhanded comment or insinuation that came the next day. INCONSISTENCY is a huge red flag and way that abusers keep you in their web.

 

Thanks for the support! I was seriously about to fire off any angry text today. I actually considered it. Then, I thought, heck no, I have come so far that I can't go back now. I can't allow this little hiccup to bring me down to his level.

[BC1980]

No, you don`t need to do anything. Residual anger is normal. Remains, is all it is. You are doing ok. Just close the door shut. Nothing ajar.

 

Thanks Haydn. All of you truly give me support, and I am so thankful for it. I kept my cool and let the anger pass. I didn't send an angry text, and I saw this little speed bump for what it was. Normal anger and "remains" as you say.

[JDPT]

You are handling all this very well. It's just a minor bump on the road as stated, just residual emotions that you will soon process. I think you are able to see a brighter future ahead and know that you have already been through the worst parts. Continue on with your journey it's YOURS. I'm happy for you.

[me85]

Your ex sounds like mine. Obsessed with public opinion. Wants to look good in the public's eyes, and he saw me as an extension of that. Once told me not to gain weight because it would reflect badly on him. I was never overweight to begin with! Who says that to another human being that you claim to love? I once remember my ex's father verbally berating me in a very cold manner (pretty sure the dad was a narcissist of some type of sociopath in the extreme) about the clothing I was wearing. I later talked to my ex and was actually crying because I was so upset. My ex showed no emotion and walked away from me, completely minimized my feelings and told me to that I was welcome to defend myself against his father. I mean, warning bells were going off left and right, and I still stayed in this half-baked sham of a relationship.

 

If you haven't already, I suggest that you make a list of all of the red flags, times that you felt abused or minimized, and any other examples of your ex's abusive behavior. Keep the list where you can easily get to it, and pull it out when you need reminding. If you are anything like me, you can get sucked back into the cycle of second guessing yourself. Looking at the good and forgetting the bad. Honestly, the only good in my relationship was superficial. He bought me a lot of things and took me on trips. I never felt loved or secure, and you have to ask yourself WHY that is when you feel that way. Something is not right when you don't feel loved or secure in the relationship. He would compliment me at times, but there always seemed to be some sort of backhanded comment or insinuation that came the next day. INCONSISTENCY is a huge red flag and way that abusers keep you in their web.

 

Thanks for the support! I was seriously about to fire off any angry text today. I actually considered it. Then, I thought, heck no, I have come so far that I can't go back now. I can't allow this little hiccup to bring me down to his level.

 

^^^^ what I highlighted in bold…big time!

 

You're very welcome! You are doing beautifully, no matter what you think and I'm so happy you resisted the urge to text him. It wouldn't matter to him in the slightest. Let that baggage go unclaimed. (= Hugs to you B!!!!!! I don't know you but I'm sending you lots of my love right now.

[Ordinaryday]

Good to hear you are moving on.

 

I'm not sure how you found out the news, from a mutual friend?

 

one of the few benefits I have had in regards to my breakups is that we have no mutual friends, live on complete opposite sides of the city, and are in complete NC.

 

she could be dead for all I know, that is how deep in NC we are. if she had died I would not hear about it, we have no mutual friends or acquaintances to inform me of the news.

 

that is how I like it, I treat breakups like a death. good on you for moving on.

[lil hoodlum]

Just for grins and I like to play devils advocate sometimes.

 

 

You should show up to the wedding and when the minister asks if anyone has anything to say why these two people should not marry? You let it rip about what a cruel, cold-hearted, worthless, narcissistic SOB your ex is.

 

Or have a hand written note to the soon to be bride on her wedding day delivered to her explaining who you are, what your circumstances were with her now fiance, and what happened and when. That would really put a dark cloud over her wedding day.

 

 

Honestly though, your ex sounds like a real peice of work. Sounds like you dodged a major bullet here. Somebody upstairs must have been looking out for you. I actually feel cocerned and a little sad for his now fiance knowing what kind of man your ex is. So sad you had to go through all of the turmoil, heartache, and pain though.

 

 

I like many of you also bit my lip about my true feeling towards my ex. She left me in a cold, cowardly, and cruel fashion as well. Never took responsibility for her actions, blamed me, has never apologized, rewrote relationship history, and gaslighted me. We are also coworkers. She has since day one from kicking me to curb straight up ignored me, play her stupid passive-aggressive games with me, and of course never apologized and it has been 2.5 years since the BU. About a year ago, she confronted me about something and I just let her have it. Told her everything that was on my mind and didn't hold back. That was one of the best things to help me in my recovery.

 

Something else I recently learned about the why she continues to treat me as the bad guy and something less than a human being. She does it because it makes her feel better about herself. And for that I actually feel kind of sorry for her. What kind of place must she be in that she has to treat me like I am a nothing to make her feel better about herself? All I ever did was love her and her daughter unconditionally and totally believed her when she said everything was good between us. I would have done anything for her. All she had to do was talk to me but she chose not to. So that is on her. She abandoned me with out so much as talking to me or giving me a chance. I tried everything I could for her and I. I have walked away from everything knowing I truely tried. I will never wonder "what if?" I believe it will be something she will question one day. It's too bad she burned that bridge along time ago with her actions and continued actions.

 

Sorry for the spiel.

[BC1980]

You are handling all this very well. It's just a minor bump on the road as stated, just residual emotions that you will soon process. I think you are able to see a brighter future ahead and know that you have already been through the worst parts. Continue on with your journey it's YOURS. I'm happy for you.

 

It's interesting. For the past few months, I have really believed that my future was going to be brighter without him. For the past year, I would tell myself that, but I sometimes didn't believe it deep down. Lately, I have begun to believe it in my soul, and it's a great feeling

[BC1980]

^^^^ what I highlighted in bold…big time!

 

You're very welcome! You are doing beautifully, no matter what you think and I'm so happy you resisted the urge to text him. It wouldn't matter to him in the slightest. Let that baggage go unclaimed. (= Hugs to you B!!!!!! I don't know you but I'm sending you lots of my love right now.

 

I can't believe I considered texting him for a fleeting second. But no, he is no longer relevant to my life. I have one thing he doesn't. I can hold my head high and know that I was only ever kind, trustworthy, and loving to him. I accepted him for who he was and loved him unconditionally. He could never say the same about me or any other human being except, possibly, his son. He may think he is above me because he profession is more esteemed, he has more money, he is obsessed with his physique, but that kind of stuff doesn't make you genuinely happy.

[BC1980]

Good to hear you are moving on.

 

I'm not sure how you found out the news, from a mutual friend?

one of the few benefits I have had in regards to my breakups is that we have no mutual friends, live on complete opposite sides of the city, and are in complete NC.

 

she could be dead for all I know, that is how deep in NC we are. if she had died I would not hear about it, we have no mutual friends or acquaintances to inform me of the news.

 

that is how I like it, I treat breakups like a death. good on you for moving on.

 

A friend from work let me know, and a friend of a friend told her. They sent out invitations to some people at work, and news trickled down. It's just one of those unfortunate things about working with someone and having so many mutual acquaintances from work. Even if he had never come back to work at this hospital, I would have found out at some point. Oh, and I also recently found out that his fiance does not work at my hospital anymore. She works solely at the other hospital where he worked for a short time. So you know, it really makes sense that they met there, and we were still together at that time. It's irrelevant, but I'm kind of glad she doesn't currently work at my hospital.

Edited January 9, 2015 by BC1980

[BC1980]

Just for grins and I like to play devils advocate sometimes.

 

 

You should show up to the wedding and when the minister asks if anyone has anything to say why these two people should not marry? You let it rip about what a cruel, cold-hearted, worthless, narcissistic SOB your ex is.

 

Or have a hand written note to the soon to be bride on her wedding day delivered to her explaining who you are, what your circumstances were with her now fiance, and what happened and when. That would really put a dark cloud over her wedding day.

 

 

Honestly though, your ex sounds like a real peice of work. Sounds like you dodged a major bullet here. Somebody upstairs must have been looking out for you. I actually feel cocerned and a little sad for his now fiance knowing what kind of man your ex is. So sad you had to go through all of the turmoil, heartache, and pain though.

 

 

I like many of you also bit my lip about my true feeling towards my ex. She left me in a cold, cowardly, and cruel fashion as well. Never took responsibility for her actions, blamed me, has never apologized, rewrote relationship history, and gaslighted me. We are also coworkers. She has since day one from kicking me to curb straight up ignored me, play her stupid passive-aggressive games with me, and of course never apologized and it has been 2.5 years since the BU. About a year ago, she confronted me about something and I just let her have it. Told her everything that was on my mind and didn't hold back. That was one of the best things to help me in my recovery.

 

Something else I recently learned about the why she continues to treat me as the bad guy and something less than a human being. She does it because it makes her feel better about herself. And for that I actually feel kind of sorry for her. What kind of place must she be in that she has to treat me like I am a nothing to make her feel better about herself? All I ever did was love her and her daughter unconditionally and totally believed her when she said everything was good between us. I would have done anything for her. All she had to do was talk to me but she chose not to. So that is on her. She abandoned me with out so much as talking to me or giving me a chance. I tried everything I could for her and I. I have walked away from everything knowing I truely tried. I will never wonder "what if?" I believe it will be something she will question one day. It's too bad she burned that bridge along time ago with her actions and continued actions.

 

Sorry for the spiel.

 

Don't apologize. How do you deal with working together? My ex also gaslighted the h*ll out of me. The really scary part is that I would have married this pr*ck had he not dumped me. I honestly feel I would have stayed with him, regardless of what he did to me, and that is scary. To know that someone has that type of control over you.

 

You know, over the past year, I've tried very hard to be honest with myself about my feelings about him and what happened. I didn't want to lie about him or exaggerate anything to make myself look better. I was never perfect either, and I wouldn't claim that. I had my faults, as we all do. I've tried to be very fair about the whole thing. I was never unkind to him. I never insulted and berated him for simply being himself. I accepted all of his faults, and loved him for it. The same can't be said for him, and I don't think it matters how much you love someone or how many things you have in common if the person doesn't love you on a level that goes deeper than the superficial.

 

Right after we broke up, someone asked me what type of person I would like to be with. Immediately, I said someone who accepts and loves me for myself. I was a little surprised at my answer because it spoke so deeply to the abuse I had felt during those 3 years with him. To those deep fears of not being good enough. I never want to be in that type of situation again.

[me85]

Don't apologize. How do you deal with working together? My ex also gaslighted the h*ll out of me. The really scary part is that I would have married this pr*ck had he not dumped me. I honestly feel I would have stayed with him, regardless of what he did to me, and that is scary. To know that someone has that type of control over you.

 

You know, over the past year, I've tried very hard to be honest with myself about my feelings about him and what happened. I didn't want to lie about him or exaggerate anything to make myself look better. I was never perfect either, and I wouldn't claim that. I had my faults, as we all do. I've tried to be very fair about the whole thing. I was never unkind to him. I never insulted and berated him for simply being himself. I accepted all of his faults, and loved him for it. The same can't be said for him, and I don't think it matters how much you love someone or how many things you have in common if the person doesn't love you on a level that goes deeper than the superficial.

 

Right after we broke up, someone asked me what type of person I would like to be with. Immediately, I said someone who accepts and loves me for myself. I was a little surprised at my answer because it spoke so deeply to the abuse I had felt during those 3 years with him. To those deep fears of not being good enough. I never want to be in that type of situation again.

 

 

I would've stayed with my ex too. There are times when I still feel like he's my best match. I'm totally screwed up for thinking that. BUT I never want to be in the position I was in with my ex again either. Ugh, terrible place to be. I've been pretty pathetic at times. I'm too damn egotistical, that's my problem. I got bored and lonely so I would email him. Nothing lovey dovey at all. Just stupid sh*t. Random, drunken emails that don't mean anything. But lately, he has not responded. Which makes me feel good in a weird way. Hmmm...I wonder what that means...? To feel good about being ignored...or that he deactivated those accounts...I feel relieved, but it's contradicting to what I said about being egotistical...well, whatever...he got fat and that makes me feel devilishly happy. I'm so hyped up on coffee right now. It's ridiculous.

[ruhrohcd]

You know, over the past year, I've tried very hard to be honest with myself about my feelings about him and what happened. I didn't want to lie about him or exaggerate anything to make myself look better. I was never perfect either, and I wouldn't claim that. I had my faults, as we all do. I've tried to be very fair about the whole thing. I was never unkind to him. I never insulted and berated him for simply being himself. I accepted all of his faults, and loved him for it. The same can't be said for him, and I don't think it matters how much you love someone or how many things you have in common if the person doesn't love you on a level that goes deeper than the superficial.

 

 

This is where I am. I have depression and work very hard at overcoming it, and I of course fell short at times. But one thing I learned a very long time ago is that I can't take it out on anyone but myself. But I was still made out to be a lazy quitter who just didn't want to be better. I accepted her. I accepted her son (hell, for an example, when the kid's dad came to town, I suggested he stay at my house and spend his money on their son rather than giving it to some hotel). I was never accepted; I was made to feel deficient and every problem in the relationship was down to my illness. Depression already lies to me, so having the person I loved the most in the world agree with it was hard to take.

 

We had a ton in common. It wasn't enough. I'm scared to death that if even someone with so much in common with me can't love me, what chance do I have with someone with fewer shared outlooks?

 

I always feel like I'm threadjacking, but I can't seem to help it because so much of what you say resonates with me.

[BC1980]

Well, just got an email from the ex offering to give me back my engagement ring. Said he has been attempting to sell it unseccesfully but wanted me to have the money if it could be sold again. I'm sitting on it right now, but I would like to get the money from it. Thinking of maybe getting my mom to email him back and get the rings. She has agreed to do so if it ever came to this. Part of me wants to email him back something saying that I don't feel what he did was right, and it was poor treatment. No crazy rant or anything. Thoughts? I'm honestly so shocked by this. He always said he would sell the ring back and give me the money, but he never contacted me until now.

[Light Breeze]

Well, just got an email from the ex offering to give me back my engagement ring. Said he has been attempting to sell it unseccesfully but wanted me to have the money if it could be sold again. I'm sitting on it right now, but I would like to get the money from it. Thinking of maybe getting my mom to email him back and get the rings. She has agreed to do so if it ever came to this. Part of me wants to email him back something saying that I don't feel what he did was right, and it was poor treatment. No crazy rant or anything. Thoughts? I'm honestly so shocked by this. He always said he would sell the ring back and give me the money, but he never contacted me until now.

 

Oh definitely! Get the Money and screw your ex!

 

Personally, I wouldn't send that email, If I was your ex I would automatically think you were still hung up. Yup, even that short of a message would give me a massive ego boost. Of course, I might be wrong, he might have some hidden well of humanity in him still untapped and actually feel guilty. Which I doubt.

 

I think it's best to have you Mom email this guy. Not worth the drama.

[Haydn]

Well, just got an email from the ex offering to give me back my engagement ring. Said he has been attempting to sell it unseccesfully but wanted me to have the money if it could be sold again. I'm sitting on it right now, but I would like to get the money from it. Thinking of maybe getting my mom to email him back and get the rings. She has agreed to do so if it ever came to this. Part of me wants to email him back something saying that I don't feel what he did was right, and it was poor treatment. No crazy rant or anything. Thoughts? I'm honestly so shocked by this. He always said he would sell the ring back and give me the money, but he never contacted me until now.

 

 

Please don`t do anything to register contact. (It could set you back.) You know how this works. He is possibly seeking a last reaction from you just to satisfy his own narc ego. Don`t give him any ammo BC1980. I slipped a few times with these things. Sit on it and don`t move.

[candie13]

Well, just got an email from the ex offering to give me back my engagement ring. Said he has been attempting to sell it unseccesfully but wanted me to have the money if it could be sold again. I'm sitting on it right now, but I would like to get the money from it. Thinking of maybe getting my mom to email him back and get the rings. She has agreed to do so if it ever came to this. Part of me wants to email him back something saying that I don't feel what he did was right, and it was poor treatment. No crazy rant or anything. Thoughts? I'm honestly so shocked by this. He always said he would sell the ring back and give me the money, but he never contacted me until now.

 

It's a trap ! He wants you to say you do want the ring and then act all outraged and make you look like an interested b.. and make you look like the bad guy. Or keep you hanging. No no no.

 

that ring happened a long LONG long time ago. It does not represent reality. Your peace of mind is worth more than his money.

 

If you contact him, you'll relapse. Trust me, he is not doing this because he cares about you, he is doing this because he wants to win. If he really wanted you to have the ring, he would have given it to you a long time ago, not now, so close to the wedding. Worst case scenario, this is self sabotage from him, in case he does not have the balls to stop his wedding.

 

Read this:

 

No Contact: Why you need to keep your proverbial door closed?even when they try to break it down by any means necessary | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

I would not tel you this, if I did not REALLY believe it. You did the NC, now to the DG hard core (don't give in !). I've given in with the last guy and it took me twice longer to get back on my feet. I wouldn't even start talking about the pain I was self inflicting and the pain that I had allowed him to inflict on me... again!

 

On a scale of 1 to 10, this idea is a -20, it's that good.

 

Screw the money. If there's a time to NOT be thinking about money, it's now.

 

i vote for TRAP. Stay away

[me85]

Well, just got an email from the ex offering to give me back my engagement ring. Said he has been attempting to sell it unseccesfully but wanted me to have the money if it could be sold again. I'm sitting on it right now, but I would like to get the money from it. Thinking of maybe getting my mom to email him back and get the rings. She has agreed to do so if it ever came to this. Part of me wants to email him back something saying that I don't feel what he did was right, and it was poor treatment. No crazy rant or anything. Thoughts? I'm honestly so shocked by this. He always said he would sell the ring back and give me the money, but he never contacted me until now.

 

Oh my God. Craziness. Let your mother be the middle man. No need for you to respond. I mean, if you decide to get the ring back...

 

I've sometimes wondered what my ex did with the engagement ring he bought me. I'm sure his mother would buy it from him and find someone to sell it to. ?? Damn, that ring is gorgeous! I remember the day he took me into the jewelry store to look at rings. It was all him. I had never mentioned anything about marriage. He used to be so in love with me. Or at least he thought he was anyway. I haven't thought about that in a while. This is all your fault B! lol just kidding

[candie13]

what happened, me85? What went so horribly wrong?

[me85]

what happened, me85? What went so horribly wrong?

 

Oh, you know, he cheated, BU with me and broke my heart into a million pieces. It's been very difficult to get over and I'm still not 100% but miles and miles away from where I started from, for sure.

[candie13]

Omg, I am sorry I have asked... I wish I had the words to express how distressed I feel to read this. I have no idea what to say other than... no human being deserves this treatment. Not even the enemy of my enemy. No one. There is no excuse for cheating.

 

You seem a strong, insightful person. I have always read your posts with pleasure. Stay well !

[me85]

Omg, I am sorry I have asked... I wish I had the words to express how distressed I feel to read this. I have no idea what to say other than... no human being deserves this treatment. Not even the enemy of my enemy. No one. There is no excuse for cheating.

 

You seem a strong, insightful person. I have always read your posts with pleasure. Stay well !

 

Thank you so much! How nice of you! I have my crappy days like anybody but I really am stronger than I realize. The way I see it, I've gotten through plenty of terrible times in my life, so I'll get through this just the same. I'm happy being single. It's taught me a lot about myself that I wouldn't have learned by being in any RS. Everything that happens is supposed to happen. Good or bad. It's meant to make us, not break us. (=

[SoThatHappened]

Have him leave the ring with someone at work when you know you have a day off.

 

Be very short and business-like in your email to him. Simply say, "I would appreciate that back. Please leave it at the nurses area on Tuesday. Just give it to Karen and I'll give her the heads-up. Thanks!"

[BC1980]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I read the replies but didn't have time to respond until now. I deleted the email and didn't reply Bullet dodged. I just feel that anything I say will come out sounding petty and ridiculous at this point. I mean, he knows how badly he hurt me because we talked quite a bit about it in the immediate aftermath of the relationship. I don't think he understands the depths of h*ll that I went through, but I also feel he would think me weak if he did know. He would think I was weak if he ever understood the profound grief that I experienced, but the reality is that I'm the strong one. That fact speaks volumes of his character and is a big reason that the relationship was unhealthy.

 

I guess part of me wanted to make him feel guilty. I wanted to ruin what is supposed to be a very happy time for him, but I've never had the impression that he thinks deeply enough to even be affected by much of anything. I honestly don't think he feels that much guilt if any. I think that he would simply brush off anything I said. Maybe silence is a much bigger punch to is ego. I also worry about the fact that we do have to see each other at work. I saw him yet again this past Tuesday (when it rains, it pours apparently). I don't want to do anything that might bite me in the as* later on. You never know where you might need a job one day.

 

 

That being said, I do want the ring back because it was quite expensive. The money would be helpful, and I might be able to get half of what he paid for it. I would be happy with that sum quite honestly. I talked with my mom, and she said she would meet him to get the ring and take care of trying to sell it. My grandfather is a jeweler, so we have some connections to go on at least.

[BC1980]

Oh my God. Craziness. Let your mother be the middle man. No need for you to respond. I mean, if you decide to get the ring back...

 

I've sometimes wondered what my ex did with the engagement ring he bought me. I'm sure his mother would buy it from him and find someone to sell it to. ?? Damn, that ring is gorgeous! I remember the day he took me into the jewelry store to look at rings. It was all him. I had never mentioned anything about marriage. He used to be so in love with me. Or at least he thought he was anyway. I haven't thought about that in a while. This is all your fault B! lol just kidding

 

It was also my ex's idea to go look at rings. I mean, who even does this stuff? They initiated getting married and took us into a jewelry store. Here we are, just trusting that no one would do that type of thing if they weren't serious. My ex actually came to me 2 months after buying the ring to say he wasn't sure anymore. I just can't wrap my mind around the type of mindset it takes to do that, and I don't want to. I never want to understand his craziness. I think a lot of it has to do with being impulsive and simply not processing emotions in a healthy manner. I mean, who in their right mind is crying to me in Nov and saying he hopes I can wear the ring one day, and is engaged the following May to someone else? It makes me scared to even date again, knowing crazies like this are walking around in the general population.