SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Not for nothing but sex can make a person feel better the same way that alcohol can make a person feel better. But to each their own. The problem is not sex the problem is revenge 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Not for nothing but sex can make a person feel better the same way that alcohol can make a person feel better. But to each their own. Oh, believe me, sex makes me feel better. But I want it all the time. With every woman. Not just when my girlfriend dumps me. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 The problem is not sex the problem is revenge Which she feels bad about and says was the biggest mistake of her life. So there is that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Which she feels bad about and says was the biggest mistake of her life. So there is that. Yes. But if she also says she will definitely hurt someone before they hurt her, it says she may do it again. And anyway, to be honest with you it really doesn't matter. I've seen women do such things and worse and they never had a dearth of options of men who were still willing to go out with them. Cheaters typically have options because *ta da* they have already slept with two people at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 But if she also says she will definitely hurt someone before they hurt her, it says she may do it again. She never said that though. It doesn't even make sense since she got hurt first but whatever. Judge her if you want to. Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 She never said that though. It doesn't even make sense since she got hurt first but whatever. Judge her if you want to. Horrible logic. I didn't get my way so I'm going to go be a skank and try and make him mad. Makes total sense.... Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 She never said that though. It doesn't even make sense since she got hurt first but whatever. Judge her if you want to. LMAO. You are the one who is throwing out all of this eye for an eye, and justification for women running into the arms of men and generally not helping your own argument. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 LMAO. You are the one who is throwing out all of this eye for an eye, and justification for women running into the arms of men and generally not helping your own argument. An eye for an eye? I never said that. When I asked you if you'd still see it being so awful if she was suicidal and used it as a way to make herself feel better you still said yes. So I guess that means you would rather her just kill herself. Nice. Anyway I'm not arguing. I just have a different perspective. What's funny to me, since you've chosen that icon, is that some people think that my philosophy is so warped and say what a messed up world it would be yet have absolutely no problem with sitting in judgment of others. Go figure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 The example given is too recent in time to really have grown and learned from, in my opinion. In 10 years, I wouldn't hold it against her though. Right. We can all learn and grow but it takes time and if you did all that in the last 8 months, it is pretty recent and you haven't really had the chance to exhibit much growth. Of course you're gonna be embarrassed and apologetic but it doesn't mean that you've matured from what led you to react that way. I am going to consider a lot more strongly what someone did in the last few months versus years ago and would have to hear and see lots of growth and it also depends on what the thing is. We're all free to decide what is a red flag and what we want to take our chances on and what not to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 An eye for an eye? I never said that. When I asked you if you'd still see it being so awful if she was suicidal and used it as a way to make herself feel better you still said yes. So I guess that means you would rather her just kill herself. Nice. Anyway I'm not arguing. I just have a different perspective. What's funny to me, since you've chosen that icon, is that some people think that my philosophy is so warped and say what a messed up world it would be yet have absolutely no problem with sitting in judgment of others. Go figure. Ummm what?? You're making excuses for bad behavior, actually you are rewarding bad behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 You're making excuses for bad behavior, actually you are rewarding bad behavior. Really? How so? Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I would absolutely hold this sort of disgraceful behaviour against someone. She used this man's brother like a piece of trash to get revenge. She basically prostituted herself out to get what she wanted. She felt that she was justified in potentially ruining the relationship between two brothers for life. Using sex to damage a family. Abhorrent behaviour. I wouldn't have anything to do with a person as spiteful and nasty, and likely mentally unbalanced, as this girl is. Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Really? How so? Hypothetically suicidal over a breakup so she goes and bangs a guys brother to get back. Ohh, but by your logic that's not so bad. It's ok to put other people in bad situations because you're in one yourself. If I go down you're all going down with me. It's ok for her only to think of herself.... Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Wait - did this girl rape the brother or something? Why hasn't anyone mentioned his role in this? He willingly (?) slept with his brother's ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Hypothetically suicidal over a breakup so she goes and bangs a guys brother to get back. Ohh, but by your logic that's not so bad. It's ok to put other people in bad situations because you're in one yourself. If I go down you're all going down with me. It's ok for her only to think of herself.... You walked a mile in her shoes, did you? Fascinating. You still didn't answer my question from when you said I'm rewarding bad behavior. How am I doing that exactly? By not holding behavior against a person who is apologetic and admits it's the biggest mistake of her life? I hadn't realized that not sitting in judgment of others was a reward. I simply thought it was just the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 With the example you gave OP, I would not waste any further time with her and be thankful I found that out about her without having to experience it firsthand. Sex as a tool to make someone feel bad? Sex as a tool period. Get the **** out of here. Don't need a skank that can disassociate like that. Sure, I believe she feels bad about it. Just like I believe she will do it again and think she feels bad about it again afterwards. There are people that do **** like that and people that don't. Link to post Share on other sites
GSP21 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Depends. If she committed murder or something, then of course not. If she did what was indicated in the OP, then no also. Things like previous addiction, depression, fights etc. can be forgiven. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Wait - did this girl rape the brother or something? Why hasn't anyone mentioned his role in this? He willingly (?) slept with his brother's ex. Did you not read the original post and what the question was or even glance at the title? What does the brother of her ex-boyfriend that she ****ed to spite her ex-boyfriend have to do with her new boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Did you not read the original post and what the question was or even glance at the title? What does the brother of her ex-boyfriend that she ****ed to spite her ex-boyfriend have to do with her new boyfriend? Nope. I skimmed. But what it says is that it was a ****ed up situation, with several ****ed up people who got mixed up together. Edit: Forgot about the remorse. One of them is remorseful now, hence confessing. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Wait - did this girl rape the brother or something? Why hasn't anyone mentioned his role in this? He willingly (?) slept with his brother's ex. He's a total scumbag. This girl is far from the only bad guy in this messy story, but I didn't feel the need to mention it as the OP's question wasn't about anyone other than his friend's new girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 You walked a mile in her shoes, did you? Fascinating. You still didn't answer my question from when you said I'm rewarding bad behavior. How am I doing that exactly? By not holding behavior against a person who is apologetic and admits it's the biggest mistake of her life? I hadn't realized that not sitting in judgment of others was a reward. I simply thought it was just the right thing to do. I didn't realize you were the one wearing the shoes... Yes, that's exactly it!! Why would you not hold her behavior against her? Actions are what defines a person not words. You cannot honestly tell me you believe she was apologetic. She was selfish from the beginning and only looking out for HER interests. By not holding it against her you're saying that every time you say sorry, it's no hard feelings. The world doesn't work that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsMyReligion Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm a fairly good judge of character and what surprised me the most was that when I met this girl she seemed very sweet - even after having several conversations with her one on one. She didn't act stuck up, rude, or anything of that nature; she did seem somewhat too flirtatious though... Taking your responses into consideration I went ahead and told my buddy to tread lightly and not get too emotionally involved. This girl really does seem sincere but with these red flags someone would have to be stupid to jump in with two feet. Personally I would have told him to break-up immediately but the fact that she came clean about it when she could have lied (we didn't know the whole story) says something in my book. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Wait - did this girl rape the brother or something? Why hasn't anyone mentioned his role in this? He willingly (?) slept with his brother's ex. In the guy's shoes I'd be more annoyed at my bother sleeping with my recent ex without running it past me to get the ok than I would be at the ex for trying it on. I'd be a bit pissed at both but I doubt it would be a long term ill feeling between us (with my brother). I think her revenge is a bit pathetic actually. I do appreciate the motivation when someone revenge cheats in a relationship after being cheated on, but this is not the case. He broke up with her and chances are he was sleeping with a new girl he fancied more within the week, which is why it stung more. It sucks but getting dumped happens to someone whenever a relationship ends, and in a lot of those cases people can monkey branch which sucks but its certainly not a revenge worthy action. For me in the OP's friend's shoes, it would definitely be a negative against her but if she confessed it and was regretful I could overlook it if she seemed like she would make a great gf otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 A friend of mine asked me for some advice and I wasn't sure how to respond... hoping to get some input on here. A girl had her feelings hurt after a guy she was dating left her for someone else. To get back at him she slept with his brother. This was about 8-9 months ago before my buddy started dating her. When he asked her apparently she fessed up to everything and was very embarrassed and apologetic; saying that it was one of the biggest mistakes she's made. They are both 22. What would you all suggest? This seems like something that would take place on a talk-show... Personally I wouldn't be able to shake the fact that she has slept with 11 guys and did this type of thing at such a young age. I want to say run for the hills but sometimes I am too quick to judge. Has she really learned or is he in for the ride of his life? This is just a super callous and low class move. I couldnt date a woman like that. And to answer your question, certain things from the past matter a lot to me. Honesty, loyalty, respect, class....very important. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) Wait - did this girl rape the brother or something? Why hasn't anyone mentioned his role in this? He willingly (?) slept with his brother's ex. I totally mentioned it. If he were my brother, I'd be hard pressed to ever forgive him and things would definitely not be the same. Even if the woman was my sister and I was totally uninvolved in the love triangle, I'd have a different opinion of her for sure. There's actually a great deal of support justifying the woman's motives. Which just goes to show, that person won't change. If 10 years pass and she totally condemns her previous behavior, then perhaps. But "Hurt before you get hurt" doesn't exactly say that she's done that. P.S: This is exactly why things like "What kind of music do you like?" is not that important... Edited December 29, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
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