What does it mean when women and men that are not dating send XOXO to each other?

[Georgia2014]

I was hoping he would find a way to make THEM stop with it too. If this is the way they talk to him I do not see how can I be comfortable around them... or invite them to our events, or be happy to see them... so if he wants a healthy relationship and not one full of struggle, he should deal with things. I do not even know some of the women that he talks to. I barely heard of some.

 

 

If my friends were causing this much trouble for my partner I would deal with things differently. He, his wellbeing and us would be my priority and I would tell my friends that I am in a relationship now and things should change.

 

I think what he does is wrong and what his friends do is wrong. I have a close male friend we text all the time we never flirt and we are both single.

[Winterina]

You didn't care about your girlfriend. If you did you would have told your female friends to stop or block them if they don't. Writing flirty messes with a friend that's taken is crossing the line. I noticed you said when you had a girlfriend no wonder you are single. Until you stop flirting with females while taken you deserve to be single!!"

 

 

 

This is something that many guys do not get. The way they act when single tells a lot and many girls who are interested get turned off by stuff like that. Guys thinking is that he is single and he can do what he wants, does not have to think about anyone else and is not responsible to anyone. Women see a single guy who is all over the place, flirtatious, and his friends are too close to him to feel comfortable. That is the guy with red flags for many women and stops many potential relationships from happening.

Edited December 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fixed quote

[stillafool]

 

That is what normal person would do but you wouldn't believe!!! He stopped hugging a woman who was all over him and would not let him go for 2 minutes, kissing him on his neck and face and telling him how much she loves him.... He would just give her a quick friendly hug but she always kept pushing for more so it was awkward watching her grabbing onto him while he is trying to shake her off. She never stopped trying. Finally he told her. She still kept going. Finally he dumped her and unfriended her on FB. She came right back with friend request asking how are we doing. Do you think this is the last of her? No, of course not.

I am just telling you this because lovers kind of messages will not stop by themselves, and even if he asks them to stop I am sure there will be some that will still be pushing for it...

 

This guy sounds irresistable, is he extremely goodlooking or something?

[Winterina]

He is full of BS. He handles his friendship as if he were 15. He obviously puts more importance into those female friends then being in a respectful relationship with you.

 

How long you've been dating him?

 

You are wasting your time. This man is not relationship material.

 

 

 

We have been together for ca. year and a half. Thing is that he moved across the world to be with me. He does love me. He does many wonderful things. But then again, he is trying to be wonderful and nice to everybody. And if you try being nice to everyone you will end up being nice to no one. Yes, I am his priority or so he says. But he never got it when I nicely told him how his friends way of communicating bothers me. He waited for the "hell to break loose"....

[Winterina]

This guy sounds irresistable, is he extremely goodlooking or something?

 

 

 

He is short, shorter than me 2 inches, and has a belly. But I love him and he is the love of my life. I just think we have issues to solve.

I think he just loves the attention and the women love that he acts like a loyal happy puppy around them who always looks at them like they are some goddesses. Maybe they think they got him going and it flatters them to have someone like him around. His way of joking is always about sex too, so he is likely to comment... Whatever they throw at him, like pictures where they are all dressed up in short skirt and with boobs almost showing, he takes and gives them what they need. Like comment, oh you look cute.

[Chemist]

Well then, the honest approach should be okay with you.

 

Excuse me ladies, but my girlfriend isn't confident and is questioning my feelings because of your idiosyncratic greetings. Your overly warming personality has got to change for us to remain friends because of my girlfriend's insecurities.

[Winterina]

Well then, the honest approach should be okay with you.

 

Excuse me ladies, but my girlfriend isn't confident and is questioning my feelings because of your idiosyncratic greetings. Your overly warming personality has got to change for us to remain friends because of my girlfriend's insecurities.

 

You are single, right?

[Chemist]

You are single, right?

 

Sort of. I am seeing a couple girls right now.

 

just coming out of a near 6 year relationship, that I ended. Oh, also during this time I had lots of girlfriends. And one in particular of 10 years, whom came onto me when I was in a previous relationship, and my gf absolutely hated her. Wanted me to never talk to her. You know what I told her? Tough ****, she's my friend, and I will be close with this girl. She bucked up, because if a guy is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, whether or not girls he has no interest in text him XXX OOO or not.

[Chemist]

Also, don't get angry because you came here seeking validation for your viewpoints and someone had an opposite one. I just have been on the other side of the fence, and I think you are being a bit insecure and overly rash over something that means nothing.

[Winterina]

Also, don't get angry because you came here seeking validation for your viewpoints and someone had an opposite one. I just have been on the other side of the fence, and I think you are being a bit insecure and overly rash over something that means nothing.

 

Have you actually read the entire thread? I do not know many women who would not feel the same in the same situation. In fact, I don't really know any...

[Winterina]

Sort of. I am seeing a couple girls right now.

 

just coming out of a near 6 year relationship, that I ended. Oh, also during this time I had lots of girlfriends. And one in particular of 10 years, whom came onto me when I was in a previous relationship, and my gf absolutely hated her. Wanted me to never talk to her. You know what I told her? Tough ****, she's my friend, and I will be close with this girl. She bucked up, because if a guy is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, whether or not girls he has no interest in text him XXX OOO or not.

 

 

 

Great partner you were indeed. Your friend who came onto you when you were seeing someone else is not a friend but a girl who wanted to f you. And yes, it will bother not just your 6 year long relationship ex, but every other woman in the future that is serious about you.

[Gaeta]

Also, don't get angry because you came here seeking validation for your viewpoints and someone had an opposite one. I just have been on the other side of the fence, and I think you are being a bit insecure and overly rash over something that means nothing.

 

I think it means a lot that he dismisses her concerns over this.

 

I think it means a lot that he cares more about what these female friends will think of him than what his gf of 1.5 year.

 

I just read he moved across the globe to be with her. He met these women AFTER he met her. We're not talking about female friends that have been in his life for 10+ years. We're talking about women he met within the last year.

 

We are also not talking about 'close' friends, we're talking about females flirting with him. If these women were close friends he could explain to them they need to tone down their language and he would not feel embarrassed about it and these friends would understand.

[Chemist]

Have you actually read the entire thread? I do not know many women who would not feel the same in the same situation. In fact, I don't really know any...

 

Yes I read the whole thread. Two girls in particular agree with you.

Again,

Don't get angry because you came here seeking validation for your viewpoints and someone had an opposite one.

 

You're whole statement is saying you can't really see it another way... then why the hell are you here? You want to know what XOXOXOOXXO means, it means hugs and ****ing kisses. Girls what to XOXOXOOXOXOX ****ing cats and farm animals that are cute, does that mean they want to **** everything that they XOXOXOXO? Nope, no it does not.

 

Hold on, let me agree with you all! Sure! Break up with him, he is obviously a cheater because he won't tell a friend her personality is pissing off his girlfriend. Have they known him longer than you? Be careful with how you want him to manage his friendships. Guys don't like being told what to do.

[newlyborn]

Well, actually, in the past I know he slept in college with some of his friends... that his first kiss was with the woman that sent that first message on the list.... he told me he has a deal with one friend to marry her when she turns 40 if they are both alone, and we had a huge issue with one of his friends being all over him physically even when I was in the room. So the affection to me seems quite threatening and disrespectful... these are the people in their late 30s not teens. It is really never pleasant to see it. I have had ton of male friends and nothing ever had to be romanticised and flirtations to have a good friendship.

 

the flirtatious communication has to be considered in light of this background.

[Chemist]

Great partner you were indeed. Your friend who came onto you when you were seeing someone else is not a friend but a girl who wanted to f you. And yes, it will bother not just your 6 year long relationship ex, but every other woman in the future that is serious about you.

 

HA, we are friends. We will always be friends. We discuss relationships with each other. We care about each other. A drunken night with a blurred line, that was never repeated.

 

And it can bother them all it wants. She will always be a close friend of mine. I can be open with her, I can tell her things I can't tell most people. I will always have a stronger bond with her at first than any girl I date. So if they get jealous over it, they will have to deal with it or leave me. I won't cheat with her, and if they can't trust me over her, how can they trust me with any girl? Trust is trust, and is irrespective of the thrid party seeking to interject.

 

I think it means a lot that he dismisses her concerns over this.

 

I think it means a lot that he cares more about what these female friends will think of him than what his gf of 1.5 year.

 

I just read he moved across the globe to be with her. He met these women AFTER he met her. We're not talking about female friends that have been in his life for 10+ years. We're talking about women he met within the last year.

 

We are also not talking about 'close' friends, we're talking about females flirting with him. If these women were close friends he could explain to them they need to tone down their language and he would not feel embarrassed about it and these friends would understand.

 

Well, okay, so he moved across the globe to be with you, and text XOs are it? I mean is he flirting? Is he reciprocating? No he is not. He has his behavior in check. You have no trust in him? My whole point wasn't if you are allowed to be offended, I mean sure, by all means do what you want... but breaking up with him because he won't insult someones personality for your insecurities when he is doing nothing to reciprocate is a bit of an over reaction.

[mammasita]

I don't know OP, what does it mean? You wrote it here didn't you........

[Winterina]

I know it is not the right thing to do but sometimes a taste of own medicine can be quite awakening to some people. And who is to say that it wouldn't work. If it doesn't it doesn't.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I'm engaged and I talk to a couple of my guy friends that way … but they are both gay!!! Seriously this sounds super immature, I don't even understand it at all, your bf and his girl friends are acting like kids!!

[preraph]

I would agree that a single XO or XX means nothing, but a whole page of them puts my antennae up because the most divisive little jerk I've ever known, who was always trying to get to someone by climbing over someone else, used them liberally. I fixed her wagon one way by seeing her "i" topped with a smiley on the outside of an envelope in the company post that was otherwise not addressed fully and placing the "anonymous" unaddressed mail in the boss's box for him to sort out. She would send clients this crap trying to suck up to them.

[Georgia2014]

I know it is not the right thing to do but sometimes a taste of own medicine can be quite awakening to some people. And who is to say that it wouldn't work. If it doesn't it doesn't.

 

Do you have any close guy friends that could help you make a point to your boyfriend? If you do tell them what's going on and ask them to help teach your boyfriend a lesson by giving each other pet names and doing xoxoxox and saying I miss you so much. He does need a dose of his own medicine.

[Georgia2014]

Sort of. I am seeing a couple girls right now.

 

just coming out of a near 6 year relationship, that I ended. Oh, also during this time I had lots of girlfriends. And one in particular of 10 years, whom came onto me when I was in a previous relationship, and my gf absolutely hated her. Wanted me to never talk to her. You know what I told her? Tough ****, she's my friend, and I will be close with this girl. She bucked up, because if a guy is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, whether or not girls he has no interest in text him XXX OOO or not.

 

Let me guess you ended the relationship because of your whoring female friends right?

You are nothing but a player. Seeing multiple women at once. Hopefully your next girlfriend will have a male friend that sends her texts like saying xoxoxox I miss you and he will be flirty and you will go out of your mind with jealousy.

[Chemist]

Do you have any close guy friends that could help you make a point to your boyfriend? If you do tell them what's going on and ask them to help teach your boyfriend a lesson by giving each other pet names and doing xoxoxox and saying I miss you so much. He does need a dose of his own medicine.

 

Yes, nothing teaches someone a lesson by becoming a hypocrite. :D XOXO Georgia.

[Winterina]

BAHAHAHAHAHA. I did not screw her. I told her that I thought she was an idiot for waiting until I was in a relationship. She apologized the next morning, in the 7 years since, we've remained nothing but friends.

 

And most girls would be lucky to date me. I am the least bit of a player, I have had two long term relationships, that one of two years, and one following of it for almost 6 years. so since 23, I have ****ed three girls. I am sure you can do the math to figure out how old I am, I am not 21. I feel sorry for your future boyfriends, who will have to walk on eggshells around your insecurities and jealousy.

 

I sound like an ass because I am defending that this guy is doing nothing wrong for not telling his friends how to behave? He is not reciprocating. Find some confidence, ladies.

 

 

 

I ended the relationship because:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/496637-i-m-mess-bit-scumbag

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/496786-five-years-gone

 

And as that I tend to date only attractive girls, they are always being hit on. My last girlfriend got asked out daily and had a number of guy friends that I am sure were only friends because they wanted to **** her. Do you think I told her not to be friends with them? Absolutely not. She respects me and our relationship, she can be trusted to make her own decisions and if those decisions ended with anything happening, I trusted her to be honest and open with me... because I am not a judgmental or jealous man, but very secure.

 

Good try though ladies. XOXOXXOOXXXOOO (_)_)//////////////D

 

does that mean you're going to cheat on your partners with me now?

 

Oh dear.... I leave for half a day and you turn this entire thread all about you. So since we are at that point here is something you can use to come out as a better person.

People don't like not what you are saying but HOW you are saying it.

I can understand that some people think it is no big deal due to their own experience or what not... But you are getting your point across in the way that will not be accepted because you are being obnoxious and disrespectful of the view of others, so if you want to be heard, you have to be able to listen and try and understand. Instead, you are attacking me and imagining I am getting angry but you do not see that it did not happen in any of my posts and the anger and aggression is actually pouring out of you in every single post. Now you are already taking things so personally and are being overly sensitive to anything people tell you. Read the entire thread again and see which guy you are. Confident? Reasonable? Kind? Nice? A hole? Understanding? Mature? Immature? EI? Useful advice?.... Mature and confident person would not come out as strongly and without regard to others opinions and points of view, and confident person would not have the need to try and humiliate others. SO READ THE THREAD ONCE AGAIN AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU.

 

 

Yes, I am here as you said it to find check my viewpoints...

But why are you here?

 

 

These are all the questions you do not have to answer me, because I do not care, but yourself.

You're welcome.

[Gaeta]

Winterina, I need help with the chronology of your story.

 

You have been dating for 1.5 year and you said he moved across the globe to be with you. Did he moved here 1.5 year ago or some of that time is long distance? Also Where and when did he meet these women? Before he moved to be with you did you notice he made lots of sexual innuendos in his joking? was he already seeking other females attention or it's a new thing?

[TigerLilly78]

Well then, the honest approach should be okay with you.

 

Excuse me ladies, but my girlfriend isn't confident and is questioning my feelings because of your idiosyncratic greetings. Your overly warming personality has got to change for us to remain friends because of my girlfriend's insecurities.

 

What a pile of donkey dust..are you serious?

 

Sort of. I am seeing a couple girls right now.

.

 

Why is this some how not surprising..

 

Yes I read the whole thread. Two girls in particular agree with you.

Guys don't like being told what to do.

 

Actually I count a few more including quite possibialy a few guys...imature little boys dont like being told what to do MEN never need to be told what to do cause they know to treat their lady with respect in return she gives it back to him.

 

 

I read all your response you sound like an ass. How old are you? 21? You sound like a immature player who needs women to feed your ego. So you screwed your female friend because you got drunk? Now I know why you are so protective of your female friends. You need booty on the side when you get drunk. I feel sorry for your future girlfriends. Please do women a favor and remain single. No lady deserves to be stuck with you. You need to do one simple thing GROW UP.

 

BINGO well said...Op you know somethings not right here he clearly is relishing in the attention these women are giving him I wouldn't even doubt if hes still sending the same kind of crap back to them there is a thing called emotional cheating im not saying thats exactly what this is but it could easily go down that path if not nipped in the butt now...