- Shouldn't it be getting easier?

[scooby-philly]

Hi Love Shack community - I'm an old regular but haven't been on for a while. Could use some perspective/advice. I will try and keep my points/thoughts organied.

 

I last was on about 4 months ago. I described a situation I had gotten myself into. See: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/487878-one-night-stand-into-relationship

 

So, almost 5 months after it happened, we're still together. But I'm tired, worn out and not feeling it.

 

 

• 
  Communication
   
   
  
  • She doesn't communicate about the everyday. She claims she doesn't like "small talk" and prefers action. But she'll do plenty of small talk when she wants or is interested in something. I leave work betwee 5:30 and 7 (desk job) she gets home consistently everyday at 5:45 or so. I don't ask her to wait for dinner for me. I've gotten over that as she screams like a little kid and acts like she's a starving Somalian living off of beetles if she doesn't eat when she wants.
    

• She doesn't communicate about important things either. Or at least she makes decisions without consultation. I've said I'm serious and she claims to be too. But then she'll change plans without asking/telling me and if I have a changes in plan - she's literally flipped on me twice for doing that and also flipped on me, and acted rudely to my dad, when I've been a little late once or twice. We were supposed to stay local this weekend and go one day to ski local as I don't know how to and have to learn. We were literally with each other every day over Thanksgiving holiday with me trying to help her run her side business and she didn't even bother to ask me if we could do a trip to a place 7 hours away for this past weekend. She just signed up and I learned via an email from the group she belongs to.
  

• She force me into convincing her landlord not to allow the roommate she inherited when she moved into her new place back at the end of August as he was a piece of white trash with a criminal record who was arrested again and now can't leave his home city. And the only way she can eventually afford the house she's renting without a roommate is if I move in, and the place is a dump and yet she doesn't write a list of what she wants done, when it should be done, etc.
  

 

Honestly I could write more, but the more I write, the more I realize that she's just a spoiled brat who talks/acts her way into things where she doesn't have the skills/desire to make it really work and doesn't have a clue that she's needy/pushy/clingy and has no idea what she wants or the ability to be an equal partner.

 

 

And she's a crazy jealous bitch. She's been married 3 times and has 3 kids - 1 in her home country and two here and she let her ex here have the other two so she could could "go back to school" but stopped 5 credits short of her associates and is still 30k in debt from that. No I say that only because she's flipped on me several time that I'm not over my ex-fiance, even though it's been a year and half and I haven't seen/heard/ etc from her. Over thanksgiving we were literally driving running errands for her business when I put a song on from a band I like and she got mad because at some point I had gone to a concert for that band with my ex. Seriously? I liked them before I met her, had gone to a concert of theirs before I met her. And she found all of this out by basically stalking me entire online presence looking for things I had forgotten to delete from various sites because once I had done the initial round I had no desire to go back.

 

Anyway - maybe not looking for advice as much as to rant - but I've got to end this. I've just spent nearly 5 months and it hasn't gotten any better. I'm not one to judge people, unless they judge me. But I can't pour any more energy or time into a 1 sided relationship where she thinks just because she tries to do something for me once in a while she's good enough for me.

[Redhead14]

Hi Love Shack community - I'm an old regular but haven't been on for a while. Could use some perspective/advice. I will try and keep my points/thoughts organied.

 

I last was on about 4 months ago. I described a situation I had gotten myself into. See: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/487878-one-night-stand-into-relationship

 

So, almost 5 months after it happened, we're still together. But I'm tired, worn out and not feeling it.

 

 

• Communication
  
  • She doesn't communicate about the everyday. She claims she doesn't like "small talk" and prefers action. But she'll do plenty of small talk when she wants or is interested in something. I leave work betwee 5:30 and 7 (desk job) she gets home consistently everyday at 5:45 or so. I don't ask her to wait for dinner for me. I've gotten over that as she screams like a little kid and acts like she's a starving Somalian living off of beetles if she doesn't eat when she wants.
    

   

  • She doesn't communicate about important things either. Or at least she makes decisions without consultation. I've said I'm serious and she claims to be too. But then she'll change plans without asking/telling me and if I have a changes in plan - she's literally flipped on me twice for doing that and also flipped on me, and acted rudely to my dad, when I've been a little late once or twice. We were supposed to stay local this weekend and go one day to ski local as I don't know how to and have to learn. We were literally with each other every day over Thanksgiving holiday with me trying to help her run her side business and she didn't even bother to ask me if we could do a trip to a place 7 hours away for this past weekend. She just signed up and I learned via an email from the group she belongs to.
    

   

  • She force me into convincing her landlord not to allow the roommate she inherited when she moved into her new place back at the end of August as he was a piece of white trash with a criminal record who was arrested again and now can't leave his home city. And the only way she can eventually afford the house she's renting without a roommate is if I move in, and the place is a dump and yet she doesn't write a list of what she wants done, when it should be done, etc.
    

   

 

Honestly I could write more, but the more I write, the more I realize that she's just a spoiled brat who talks/acts her way into things where she doesn't have the skills/desire to make it really work and doesn't have a clue that she's needy/pushy/clingy and has no idea what she wants or the ability to be an equal partner.

 

 

And she's a crazy jealous bitch. She's been married 3 times and has 3 kids - 1 in her home country and two here and she let her ex here have the other two so she could could "go back to school" but stopped 5 credits short of her associates and is still 30k in debt from that. No I say that only because she's flipped on me several time that I'm not over my ex-fiance, even though it's been a year and half and I haven't seen/heard/ etc from her. Over thanksgiving we were literally driving running errands for her business when I put a song on from a band I like and she got mad because at some point I had gone to a concert for that band with my ex. Seriously? I liked them before I met her, had gone to a concert of theirs before I met her. And she found all of this out by basically stalking me entire online presence looking for things I had forgotten to delete from various sites because once I had done the initial round I had no desire to go back.

 

Anyway - maybe not looking for advice as much as to rant - but I've got to end this. I've just spent nearly 5 months and it hasn't gotten any better. I'm not one to judge people, unless they judge me. But I can't pour any more energy or time into a 1 sided relationship where she thinks just because she tries to do something for me once in a while she's good enough for me.

 

Normally, I would say that this is about the point when you Start seeing and dealing with things that weren't really involved in the beginning, and that's true still, however, you've been struggling with this from the beginning. That shouldn't have been the case. You should have been in the honeymoon period for most of the beginning.

 

It is time to move on for you, it will not get easier.

[pies]

It doesn't look like it's going to get any easier... if any it will get worse. I have read both your topics and I think that you would be better off outside of this relationship. It doesn't sound healthy at all.

 

Getting jealous over a band? Seriously...