scooby-philly Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I will try and be organized in my thoughts. Feedback wanted and appreciated. I belong to an outdoor club. Did a weekend up the mountains two weeks ago with them. Rafting on Saturday, camping Saturday night, and Hiking on Sunday. Had a total blast. Saturday night at camping got to talk to one woman who was there. I consumed more alcohol that I normally do. I wasn't drunk, but definitely buzzed. I found her funny and attractive, and quite honestly, was a bit frisky. We talked throughout the night and towards the end when only a dozen or so people were left up, I started touching her back and ass while standing by the campfire. She didn't move my hand. She walked over to her car and I followed her a minute later. She was smoking a cig, so i lit one of mine, we talked briefly and she said she needed to use the bathrooms which are a good 2-3 minutes from the campsite we were at. I offered to go with her. She held my hand down the entire way. On the way back I stopped, pulled her in and kissed her. Long story short - we eventually ended up back in my tent and had sex. It was fantastic. I felt a little awkward on Sunday morning as I wasn't sure if anybody knew what happened. Not that I cared per se, but I didn't want to make her feel weird. We ended up going on the hike together and purposely stayed back towards the back of the group several times to talk and also to kiss. We got home in the evening and met up for dinner. I ended up back and her place and spent the night. Two weeks later I've spent the night 2-3 more times and have met two of her friends. I like her - she's funny, hard working, resilient, smart, and a good mother (she is divorced) However, I'm concerned she's a little too attached already. I'm not looking for a clinger and I'm not looking for an emotionally messed up woman. That's a huge deal breaker for me. She just messaged me on FB if I skied or snowboarded. I said no, but I'm willing to try. She said good, because "I don't want to be without you on New Years' Eve". That's a bit too much for me. It's one thing to post mushy things on your FB account about how you feel already to say "I miss you" a little too much. But that's way too early for me to say something like that. Related, I'm also concerned that she's an emotional wreck waiting to happen - she's been married twice and while she's been single for 3 years after the second divorce, I'm afraid she's been playing the field too much. I mean, I love sex. I've done it with about 6 women now. I'm an physically affectionate guy and also enjoy physical intimacy. I just don't like these signs pointing to the fact that she may be looking for something I can't give her or that she just bounces from one thing to the next like a strong breeze. I'm not looking to necessarily cause a confrontation at this point, put my foot down, so to speak, or simply walk away. Just want to see if I'm reading these signs wrong. I can provide more detailed info as needed. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 She's definitely moving at hyper speed. Already planning New Years? I agree that its waaaaaay too early to be saying things like that, especially when your "relationship" started physically. What is there to miss exactly? I mean, I do get it, but there's not a whole lot of substance yet other than the pure chemistry and the high of sex at this point. The only thing you can do is say that she's doing too much too fast too soon for you right now. Of course as with any woman she's going to be hurt and offended, but if you're truly interested just follow up with positive actions. Link to post Share on other sites
SoonMyFriend Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I think you need to talk to her about where you see this going, and what your expectations are. She is clearly not on the same page as you. If she's willing to go slow, then fine, but this looks like you need to stop seeing her if she wants a lot more than you want to give her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scooby-philly Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 Thanks I agree with both points. Not to add too much, but she went on a rant today thinking I was ignoring her via IM. I wasn't. I work a desk job and I'm not used to IM'ing someone in the middle of the day. Not that I can't...and then when I proposed grabbing a quick dinner with her since she drives by close to where I work on the way home she said she was mad and it made me look like a jerk since I hadn't seen her since Monday and I said we couldn't hang out till Friday because I knew I'd be busy and also just wanted a night to myself if things at work slowed down. Don't have a clue what to do next - except cool things down, tell her what I feel, and see if she responds in kind or not as you both stated. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 You have a clinger on your hands my friend. Another example of why you should get to know someone before you sleep with them Link to post Share on other sites
Author scooby-philly Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 @mammasita True. Very true. I've never really done a "one-night stand" before. It wasn't really my intention - but I think that's the way this one has to play out. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 @mammasita True. Very true. I've never really done a "one-night stand" before. It wasn't really my intention - but I think that's the way this one has to play out. Not to say it always turns out this way, but in this instance it did unfortunately. Not ALL women go insane and get pissed off when you don't respond to them immediately LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Griesfootball Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Had a sober one night stand set up by a mutual friend and it turned into 13 months of dating, it was fun while it lasted and starting off naked made it a lot more comfortable to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 You have to get her to slow down asap. Sorry but she's displaying signs of being a stalker. This "relationship" is not progressing at the pace you're comfortable with. Scary how she's planned your new year's activities without consulting your own plans first. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 How old is she? The New Year's Eve comment is bizarre at best and troubling at worst. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scooby-philly Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 She's 38 and I'm 33. Not sure what to make of the situation. I tried to cut clean on Friday, but to make a long story short I didn't. I may have fallen in even worse. I do know that when things don't go "normally" (or within the range of normal) it's much easier to misinterpret actions/words. In other words, if we had met via other circumstances - OLD or through friends and decided to get physical quickly, it would have been one things. Meeting up through a meetup group just adds complexity to the situation. We both felt like we had more than just physical chemistry so we decided to try and see where it goes. Plus, to be honest, I think we were both really looking for each other in a sense. I may have misinterpreted her a little bit and we're both probably a little bit too eager! I have put my foot down and I'm also comfortable with doing it more and letting things progress at the pace I want. Link to post Share on other sites
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