I'm back to complain about Chatty Cathy!!

[Rejected Rosebud]

You really need to get over it, you level of concern about this person is just way out of line. Ask to change your desk and then please stop indulging yourself this way it's really not appropriate or a healthy thing to do for you! Obviously she is doing a lot that they like or she wouldn't have kept this job for 18 years for heaven's sake, and your negativity and obsession about her is probably likely to put YOUR job at risk if it is tainting the work environment and it probably is. I posted earlier what happened to my sister.

[GemmaUK]

Take responsibility for your own angst and get a headset, play the radio online.

Block her out.

 

 

We are able to control our own reactions.

[donnabella8]

When another person provokes such extreme reactions in us, it is usually because there is a "mirror" there. Without being defensive, take some time to see what is being reflected back at you - are there parts of her behavior that you see and dislike in yourself?

 

If you can work on those parts within yourself, you will find that you won't be bothered by, or even see, those traits so much in other people.

[Diezel]

Take responsibility for your own angst and get a headset, play the radio online.

Block her out.

 

 

We are able to control our own reactions.

 

Winner of the thread.

[Mapper71]

Winner of the thread.

 

Um yeah, trust me, I wear my headphones EVERY single day, but I can't turn them up to completely block her out because I won't hear when others around me ask me something. We are a very relaxed, laid back group so there is constant chatter between everyone with questions or anecdotes. Our workspace is very different from the usual cubicle/hush hush office. As I said, our dept. of 12 is in a house, not the main building so we are quite a bit more relaxed than those in the main building. The thing is, EVERYONE else here knows when to talk and when to work. Chatty has yet to understand that and has no off switch.

[Standard-Fare]

You haven't responded to people's suggestions about trying to relocate your work area. That really seems to be the only solution if you want to remain in the job, and you're unwilling to "rat out" CC in any formal way.

 

Your annoyance with CC is directly related to your hyperawareness of her activities. I'm willing to bet you'd develop similar feelings toward just about anybody you were forced to work with in such close quarters, esp. with the ability to monitor their Internet activity and overhear their phone calls.

[Mapper71]

You haven't responded to people's suggestions about trying to relocate your work area. That really seems to be the only solution if you want to remain in the job, and you're unwilling to "rat out" CC in any formal way.

 

Your annoyance with CC is directly related to your hyperawareness of her activities. I'm willing to bet you'd develop similar feelings toward just about anybody you were forced to work with in such close quarters, esp. with the ability to monitor their Internet activity and overhear their phone calls.

 

No, I have worked in several places before and have never before been upset by anyone who worked near me. The reason she gets away with her non-work crap is because her computer is the ONLY computer in the house that doesn't face any foot traffic and the only person who can see her screen is me and apparently she doesn't give a crap if I see it. She can see when someone is coming towards her and when that happens she double clicks her screen so her book, or Facebook, or Amazon, or whatever hides and her work comes up. I've seen her double click without much time to spare when she is unaware of someone coming and when that happens she starts talking a mile a minute because she's nervous someone might see something on her screen! And yes, we ALL go on the Internet at times at work, but it's for a couple of minutes and then go back to work. Not only does she browse the Internet 4-5 hours a day, but she vocalizes to all of us what she is reading. NOBODY here tells the rest of the room "Hey, you should see this picture on Facebook" or "Here's the menu for the new restaurant opening up down the street".

 

She's 49 years old and acts like this. We have a 22 year old who started here 6 months ago and that's the behavior you'd expect from her, but she is the most diligent worker I have ever seen at that age! Maybe Chatty can take some lessons from her, because let me tell you, the 22 year old has accomplished more in 6 months that Chatty has in the 1 1/2 years I've been here.

[Standard-Fare]

To me you just proved my point. You have an unnatural window into her life by monitoring her Internet activity the entire workday. You even get to see the tricks she plays to fool other people into doing more work than she is.

 

From this vantage point, you have an ability to scrutinize her and judge her that probably isn't appropriate for two colleagues. The only one who should have that type of knowledge is her supervisor, if (s)he chose to strictly monitor employees' Internet usage.

 

I'm sure you'd be a lot less annoyed by this situation if you didn't to have to stare directly at her screen all day. At the very least you should look into turning your desk in a different direction. Better option: See if you can get a cubicle partition. Even better: See if you can move to a different room entirely.

[Mapper71]

To me you just proved my point. You have an unnatural window into her life by monitoring her Internet activity the entire workday. You even get to see the tricks she plays to fool other people into doing more work than she is.

 

From this vantage point, you have an ability to scrutinize her and judge her that probably isn't appropriate for two colleagues. The only one who should have that type of knowledge is her supervisor, if (s)he chose to strictly monitor employees' Internet usage.

 

I'm sure you'd be a lot less annoyed by this situation if you didn't to have to stare directly at her screen all day. At the very least you should look into turning your desk in a different direction. Better option: See if you can get a cubicle partition. Even better: See if you can move to a different room entirely.

 

I'm sure I'd be less annoyed if I didn't have the ability to see what is on her computer, but no matter where I sit in the entire downstairs of the house, I can hear her constant talking. And there isn't anywhere to move to. The editors are upstairs and our group is downstairs and I'm not going to upend anyone else to move. Boy wouldn't I be a high maintenance employee?!

 

And why oh why does she feel the need to make sound effects with everything she does?? She walks past my desk and she can't just walk past, she has to go "dum de dum de dum". Everyone else can walk without making sound effects! She puts her backpack on the floor when she first arrives and she goes "thwump!" Everyone else can set down their bag without making a sound effect! One of our phones ring and it catches her off guard and she goes "Ah, ack, oh my god!" Really? Who DOES that in a work setting or anywhere for that matter??!

[hotgurl]

No, I have worked in several places before and have never before been upset by anyone who worked near me. The reason she gets away with her non-work crap is because her computer is the ONLY computer in the house that doesn't face any foot traffic and the only person who can see her screen is me and apparently she doesn't give a crap if I see it. She can see when someone is coming towards her and when that happens she double clicks her screen so her book, or Facebook, or Amazon, or whatever hides and her work comes up. I've seen her double click without much time to spare when she is unaware of someone coming and when that happens she starts talking a mile a minute because she's nervous someone might see something on her screen! And yes, we ALL go on the Internet at times at work, but it's for a couple of minutes and then go back to work. Not only does she browse the Internet 4-5 hours a day, but she vocalizes to all of us what she is reading. NOBODY here tells the rest of the room "Hey, you should see this picture on Facebook" or "Here's the menu for the new restaurant opening up down the street".

 

She's 49 years old and acts like this. We have a 22 year old who started here 6 months ago and that's the behavior you'd expect from her, but she is the most diligent worker I have ever seen at that age! Maybe Chatty can take some lessons from her, because let me tell you, the 22 year old has accomplished more in 6 months that Chatty has in the 1 1/2 years I've been here.

 

So you answered the question with what she does. You can't control what she does. She won't change. So what are you going to do?

 

Ask to move you desk. Turn your desk so you can't see her screen. Let it go. Complain to management, find a new job something.

[Standard-Fare]

I agree that this lady sounds like a real pain in the a*ss, but in every situation like this you have two options: 1) Make some moves to improve the problem, or 2) Find a way to mentally let it go.

 

You seem unwilling to do 1, for somewhat valid reasons. I understand that you don't want to be the high-maintenance employee causing drama. But you should really consider what modest steps you can take to make things a little better for yourself, including angling your desk differently or maybe having a chat with your coworker about some of her more glaring habits.

 

Other than that, you gotta look internally to find a way to make peace with this situation.

[Mapper71]

I agree that this lady sounds like a real pain in the a*ss, but in every situation like this you have two options: 1) Make some moves to improve the problem, or 2) Find a way to mentally let it go.

 

You seem unwilling to do 1, for somewhat valid reasons. I understand that you don't want to be the high-maintenance employee causing drama. But you should really consider what modest steps you can take to make things a little better for yourself, including angling your desk differently or maybe having a chat with your coworker about some of her more glaring habits.

 

Other than that, you gotta look internally to find a way to make peace with this situation.

 

I know, I know but the stuff she gets away with here. Friday she called and said she wasn't coming in because she had TOO MANY ERRANDS TO RUN!! She doesn't have any vacation or paid time off left because she has been out much more than everyone's 3 weeks of vacation and just going unpaid, which is apparently fine with management. She was out yesterday because she was sick. She usually doesn't show up until 10:30 anyways but today at 10:20 we get an email saying that she is "Slowly making my way to work. Should be there by noon. I'd be tempted to stay home again but I have to turn over the keys to my Mom's house as the sale closes tomorrow." It is now 12:30 and no sign of her. Then she will get here and make the BIGGEST deal of why she was late and getting the keys to realtor was just so hard and she'll go on and on about her being sick yesterday and how she should have stayed home today too and she won't shut up for 20 minutes!

 

No wait, actually she'll probably send an email shortly saying that she can't make it in, even though she is only 5 minutes from work!

 

Or no wait...she'll get here just in time to take her hour long lunch! Yeah, that's it!

 

Oh I was correct! Just got an email from her at 12:40PM saying "Found out I don't need to turn the keys over until tomorrow so I'm going back to bed." Gee, you said more than 2 hours previous you were slowly making your way up here and then just now you decide to tell us that you don't need to turn over the keys and are going back to bed. So you never left your house??? Gee I think tomorrow I'm going to try calling in telling everyone I have to run errands today...no time for work!

 

And yes, I am on the Internet at work writing this because I need her to do her part before I can do my part, but she hasn't been here for 3 days so I don't have much to do!

Edited December 9, 2014 by Mapper71

[dreamingoftigers]

what usually helps you when you are agitated?

Especially at work?

 

Curious: does anyone else seem bothered?

 

I know, I know but the stuff she gets away with here. Friday she called and said she wasn't coming in because she had TOO MANY ERRANDS TO RUN!! She doesn't have any vacation or paid time off left because she has been out much more than everyone's 3 weeks of vacation and just going unpaid, which is apparently fine with management. She was out yesterday because she was sick. She usually doesn't show up until 10:30 anyways but today at 10:20 we get an email saying that she is "Slowly making my way to work. Should be there by noon. I'd be tempted to stay home again but I have to turn over the keys to my Mom's house as the sale closes tomorrow." It is now 12:30 and no sign of her. Then she will get here and make the BIGGEST deal of why she was late and getting the keys to realtor was just so hard and she'll go on and on about her being sick yesterday and how she should have stayed home today too and she won't shut up for 20 minutes!

 

No wait, actually she'll probably send an email shortly saying that she can't make it in, even though she is only 5 minutes from work!

 

Or no wait...she'll get here just in time to take her hour long lunch! Yeah, that's it!

 

Oh I was correct! Just got an email from her at 12:40PM saying "Found out I don't need to turn the keys over until tomorrow so I'm going back to bed." Gee, you said more than 2 hours previous you were slowly making your way up here and then just now you decide to tell us that you don't need to turn over the keys and are going back to bed. So you never left your house??? Gee I think tomorrow I'm going to try calling in telling everyone I have to run errands today...no time for work!

 

And yes, I am on the Internet at work writing this because I need her to do her part before I can do my part, but she hasn't been here for 3 days so I don't have much to do!

[Mapper71]

what usually helps you when you are agitated?

Especially at work?

 

Curious: does anyone else seem bothered?

 

Leaving the building helps but I can't do that for very long! The other guy in the room has had to deal with her for the last 18 years and he seems okay with her...but then again, he is almost deaf in the ear that faces her! The other girl in the room deals with her but I can tell she wants to concentrate on stuff when Chatty is going off and I'm sure it bothers her.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I really think you need to find a new job, your negativity about your coworker is probably affecting your workplace and other people, wouldn't you be happier working alone? or maybe you could do your job from home?

[Mapper71]

I really think you need to find a new job, your negativity about your coworker is probably affecting your workplace and other people, wouldn't you be happier working alone? or maybe you could do your job from home?

 

No way!! This is the best job I've ever had! Everyone (with the exception of her) is fantastic. It feels like like I am working with a family. The benefits are fantastic, the bonuses are fantastic, the perks are fantastic, the friendships are fantastic.

 

I did work alone freelancing for 2 years. I liked it, but I missed interacting with people. My attitude only affects me here. Everyone else is perfectly happy.

[Standard-Fare]

I've never worked in an office where there wasn't at least one person who annoyed the crap out of me on a daily basis. Unfortunately that's just part of office life. Now I do most of my work from home, and I do miss some of the interactions. There's really no perfect answer, is there?

[beach]

If you learn to meditate really well - you can completely tune her out at a moments notice.

 

Try it!

[90s kid]

There are some things you need to speak up about and other things you need to learn to deal with. You can't control the little noises she makes as she walks by and there's no reason why something that minor should be infuriating you. Her surfing the internet does not affect your work and if you complain to management about that you're going to come across as really petty. Now, when it comes to the loud phone calls or the unequal workload, those are the types of things that you can bring up to her or to a supervisor. Try to be as tactful and professional as you can.

[Emilia]

Can you sit somewhere else OP?

[MidwestUSA]

 

My attitude only affects me here. Everyone else is perfectly happy.

 

You might want to reflect on what you just said here.

[MuscleCarFan]

Is there an IT department monitors internet usage? This is the sort of thing that is normally flagged and then a supervisor would talk with said individual about the productivity or in this case, lack thereof.

[writergal]

Mapper, I suggest you wear headphones and turn your desk / computer monitor to face away from Chatty Cathy, and ignore her. Everyone else there at your workplace ignores her, right?

 

Since you won't leave your job, and since you won't complain to your supervisor about her, then you've really cut off your own nose to spite your face. Translation: needless over-reaction to a problem you refuse to take action to resolve.

[Mapper71]

I just about lost it! A coworker from the main building brought in a bunch of pistachios and let everyone know we could help ourselves to them. Okay, MOST people would take a handful and eat them in a minute or two or sit in the kitchen and eat them. Not Chatty! She got a bowl out of our cupboard, went across the street to the main building and came back with a bowl filled to the brim with unshelled pistachios. Came back to her desk, which is 5 feet from mine, and for an HOUR sat and cracked and chomped on them. Now she just finished those and popped in a piece of gum and now is popping and cracking that! And this morning she ate an entire bowl of cereal at her desk while slurping and chomping on that!

 

Other people eat at their desk too, but they are certainly courteous about it. They eat soft foods or try and chew quietly. It almost seems like she purposely eats as loud as possible!

[amaysngrace]

Aren't you glad she chows down instead of chatting?

 

You have a silver lining here. Tomorrow bring in artichokes.