Author longjourney Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 Hello Not going to write much at this point I just wanted to check in. My M is over. In all honestly from WH POV it never really was anyway. I did not go back on my words. My wh is leaving tonight. He did not say wherr he is going and I didnt ask. I can easily figure it out thou. I asked him to please let my step child stay here with me. I am the only real mother he knows and this is his home. wh spoke to my step son and yes he wanted to stay here at home in his own bed. When I said earlier about WH offering to help in any way with thr kids,he meant that he would be here every afternoon to help me if that is what I needed. He was not being cold or mean. So here I sit as he packs up and prepares to move out. I already miss him. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I'm thinking of you. Its hard and yes you will miss him, but him comes with the OW and that isn't good for YOU and why should it be, as you matter too longjourney. You've taken a huge step to stop all the emotional draining that he has placed on you. You need support now, so get on the phone to family and friends. I'm routing for you, I know you'll be fine as was I. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Hello Not going to write much at this point I just wanted to check in. My M is over. In all honestly from WH POV it never really was anyway. I did not go back on my words. My wh is leaving tonight. He did not say wherr he is going and I didnt ask. I can easily figure it out thou. I asked him to please let my step child stay here with me. I am the only real mother he knows and this is his home. wh spoke to my step son and yes he wanted to stay here at home in his own bed. When I said earlier about WH offering to help in any way with thr kids,he meant that he would be here every afternoon to help me if that is what I needed. He was not being cold or mean. So here I sit as he packs up and prepares to move out. I already miss him. Hang in there sweetie! I know this hurts,but you are making the right decision for you and your kiddos. I'm glad that he's letting your stepson stay with you. I hope if anything that the two of can do well co-parenting. Please keep posting. We're all here for you. (((hugs))) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Stay strong my lovely x He has caused you so much pain even if he didn't mean to. This is a good outcome. Life will get better from this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 The transition from conceptual ( my spouse is cheating so we should divorce ) to the reality of watching your spouse leave is tough, heart and brain sending us different messages. Emotionally, it's going to take some time to get grounded. Treat yourself well and hopefully stay busy with family and friends. Keep posting, folks here are listening... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Hello Not going to write much at this point I just wanted to check in. My M is over. In all honestly from WH POV it never really was anyway. I did not go back on my words. My wh is leaving tonight. He did not say wherr he is going and I didnt ask. I can easily figure it out thou. I asked him to please let my step child stay here with me. I am the only real mother he knows and this is his home. wh spoke to my step son and yes he wanted to stay here at home in his own bed. When I said earlier about WH offering to help in any way with thr kids,he meant that he would be here every afternoon to help me if that is what I needed. He was not being cold or mean. So here I sit as he packs up and prepares to move out. I already miss him. I'm really sorry. I know this hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
inpeices Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Darling your marriage never began, never had a fighting chance, ever, through NO fault of your own. They ALL say they never meant to hurt you, though they did, EVERY chance they got. It makes them feel better to say that, like they forgot to pay the phone bill. But every text, email, call, meet-up takes serious thought, calculation and planning in an affair. CALL him on that BS. CALL her too while you are at it. Kindly tell her how your marriage NEVER stood a chance, but wish them well and ask her to be kind to your kids who will be devastated for a few years. How are her children faring with her divorce? Commiserate. become a REAL woman to her, not some sickly, dependent drain as he has most likely portrayed you. Stay calm and kind. Call a lawyer. Call your friends and family. You need support and will need help in the future. Tell them the truth of what you have been living with. Don't forge through this alone. I'm proud of you. I'm rooting for you. Sweety, sparks words are absolutely spot on, I have read a lot of your threads (only tonight) and can I just say, having experienced a very similar situation to yours, that you have ABSOLUTELY DONE THE RIGHT THING. It hurts like hell to feel alone, defeated, to know he might or has or will go straight to her and you have been rejected. Please know that actually YOU HAVE NOW REJECTED HIM. He is not good enough for you, and the OW married someone else initially and rejected him aswell, so get your head together and realise that he has major issues, has been eating his cake for far too long and using your illness, your weakness (which he has caused) your vulnerability (which he has caused) your insecurity (which he has caused) your uncertainty (which he has caused) and your self esteem being shattered (which he has caused) and please add to the list of soul destroying things that you have felt and feel throughout the whole mess so far... I bet you have plenty!!! You don't know how strong you are, you can talk the logic but you now need to acknowledge your WH actions speak louder than words.. A phrase I had rammed into me so much yet didn't understand at the time.. Not meaning to hurt someone is accidentally trapping their finger in a door, saying they are 'sorry' is a word.. His actions have been cruel, totally selfish and brought you to your knees in the worst emotional torment any person could experience. He is a liar and good at it, he has come exceptionally close to destroying the soul of you.. You almost gave in and resigned yourself to living with him in a dynamic only attributed to kidnappers and their captives.. They call it Stockholme syndrome.. You were born a free spirit and a whole soul, go find out how you can get that inner happiness back inside you without being beholden to someone who actually is not worthy of breathing the same air as you, never mind 'offering' to visit every afternoon to help with the children!!! What??!!! That's all he has left.. He has treated you appallingly, go get a good lawyer and ensure your children are completely protected so when his fantasy world crashes, he can't take your children on an unexpected 6 month vacation.. Get your practical matters attended to immediately.. And the emotional part we here at LS will support you with.. Let's get you back to some semblance of human.. You have suffered for way way too long and I promise promise promise, it gets better, but you HAVE TO tough this out now, less it will kill your soul literally! It nearly killed mine! Take care and come back and update x much love and hugs from the u.k x S x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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