Sunlounger Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Because two people have mentioned it, just to put this out there to clarify--this is NOT the guy from the threads I think someone is referencing. I have threads about two guys total since signing up, and this guy is the second--this is not the dbag who disappeared on me in july--He has a girlfriend, lives a state away, and we haven't talked since that day in july. This is the guy who helped me build a shed in august. Just to clarify. You say that you are attractive, so there are likely 10-15 men pursuing you at all times yet you are pursuing men like this who have the social skills of a potato and are extremely indecisive on top of this. Why is the world would you want to be with somebody like that? I just don't get it. I'm a little bit of a shy guy myself but I usually warm up very quickly if I see even an ounce of interest. You've shown TON of interest and he hasn't responded. How have you not lost interest a long while ago? He must be extremely good looking and you must have zero self esteem. I don't get this thread at all
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 You say that you are attractive, so there are likely 10-15 men pursuing you at all times yet you are pursuing men like this who have the social skills of a potato and are extremely indecisive on top of this. Why is the world would you want to be with somebody like that? I just don't get it. I'm a little bit of a shy guy myself but I usually warm up very quickly if I see even an ounce of interest. You've shownTON of interest and he hasn't responded. How have you not lost interest a long while ago? He must be extremely good looking and you must have zero self esteem. I don't get this thread at all Bolded is a myth that LS men like to beleive to make themselves feel better about their lack of dating success. 4
Sunlounger Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Bolded is a myth that LS men like to beleive to make themselves feel better about their lack of dating success. I don't think it's a myth. I had pretty sisters growing up and they had more people constantly pursuing them at one time than I will have in my lifetime combined Although to be fair, for you ladies, a man could be decent looking and a real nice guy but if he doesn't fit every single parameter you're looking for to a tee, he is irrelevant. It's understandable
Andy_K Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Bolded is a myth that LS men like to beleive to make themselves feel better about their lack of dating success. Not really. If she's not getting pursued that much, then she will be as soon as she creates an online dating profile
Sunlounger Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Not really. If she's not getting pursued that much, then she will be as soon as she creates an online dating profile that doesn't count For women, male attention doesn't count unless it's a 10/10 male model with a perfect personality that's equal parts masculine and sensitive. And he's gotta be talking to her in person so she can get to know him in person. If he's just interested in her through an online dating profile, then he's just an online suitor and doesn't count. Some women swear they don't get any male attention and... you walk with them for 2 days and there's 10 different guys trying to talk to them
smackie9 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 There's two different kinds of attention, good attention and bad attention. Cat calls, the "wazup babe" crap is bad attention. Confident, friendly, approachable, is good attention. No one has to be a 10, that is just narrow minded loserness. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. If that wasn't true then only hot model types get dates with other hot model types and the rest of us get nothing. 1
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted November 28, 2014 Author Posted November 28, 2014 OP here. Today would be the day he said he would come check on my chickens. Yes, I know, just what every 23 year old wants, chickens. But I LOVE chickens. Judge me. Anyways, last Saturday night, he readily said he would come feed them. He texted me at 5:30pm or so eastern time yesterday: "Happy thanksgiving, I just remembered I'm suppose to do something for your chickens. What and when would you like me to do that? lol." I'm getting rather bitter. I read it to myself. Why say "I just remembered?" Really? You're the guy who admittedly said quote you cant REMEMBER ANYTHING, yet the "miracle" occurs and you remember to text me about my animals? I wrote him back a few hours later, "Tomorrow. And only if you want to." That was last night. He hasn't replied. As for the guy who's lamenting over online dating--Maybe I have no soul any more, or it's just finished eroding this week or something as law school and life and rejection fester and make me bitter, but I don't really feel sorry for you. If you have no success in OLD, maybe change a method. It's notoriously more men than women, and that skews the odds. And just so you know, in real life--Unless you're a Victoria secret model--no woman has 10 men pursuing her. Statistics. Not possible. My BEST FRIEND, by my opinion, is downright GORGEOUS--like Im ugly compared to her--and she only has maybe 6 guys at a time, tops, pursuing her.
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 ...And then he did text. And did go check on my chickens yesterday.
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 OP here. It's been a long time and this is an oldddd thread, but I figured I'd post the conclusion of the story: So the last time I talked to him (aside from a generic merry Christmas text I sent everyone), was Thanksgiving weekend. After that...Radio silence. Finals came, I was completely alone, and I could have used one non-law school friend. Finals came, new years came, the snowstorms and ice storms came. And I never once heard from him. And his folks' live 20 mins away--he's up there every week. And he never once texted or came by or anything. And he knew I was there: that last night he saw me, he saw my place, with all my casebooks and loads of papers scattered around ramping up for finals. I was stressed, scared, and alone. And he basically abandoned me and never looked back. Things have changed, I really hated law school, and decided in early January to take a leave of absence. So right now I'm traveling, and out of town. Yesterday, I got a text: "Hey how's it going? Just checking in. I haven't heard from you in a while." Made me kind of bitter yesterday. It's been 2.5 MONTHS. Duh you haven't heard from me in awhile: You want nothing to do with me. He has no clue I'm not even there right now. I didn't feel like I should even bother replying. Like why bother? I'm not a hotel--he doesn't need to "check in". I still have to go back and pack my stuff, but I don't think I'll reply to tell him I'm leaving. He'll never know.
PinkCarnations Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) OP here. It's been a long time and this is an oldddd thread, but I figured I'd post the conclusion of the story: So the last time I talked to him (aside from a generic merry Christmas text I sent everyone), was Thanksgiving weekend. After that...Radio silence. Finals came, I was completely alone, and I could have used one non-law school friend. Finals came, new years came, the snowstorms and ice storms came. And I never once heard from him. And his folks' live 20 mins away--he's up there every week. And he never once texted or came by or anything. And he knew I was there: that last night he saw me, he saw my place, with all my casebooks and loads of papers scattered around ramping up for finals. I was stressed, scared, and alone. And he basically abandoned me and never looked back. Things have changed, I really hated law school, and decided in early January to take a leave of absence. So right now I'm traveling, and out of town. Yesterday, I got a text: "Hey how's it going? Just checking in. I haven't heard from you in a while." Made me kind of bitter yesterday. It's been 2.5 MONTHS. Duh you haven't heard from me in awhile: You want nothing to do with me. He has no clue I'm not even there right now. I didn't feel like I should even bother replying. Like why bother? I'm not a hotel--he doesn't need to "check in". I still have to go back and pack my stuff, but I don't think I'll reply to tell him I'm leaving. He'll never know. I know how you feel! Mostly because I'm in law school myself. Last semester and about to graduate though. I'm guessing u were a 1L. It sounds like there's still hope. A person who doesn't care wouldnt send a text like that, especially when they can easily never talk to you again. You said so yourself that he's not a flirty person and hasn't had a gf in a long time. Maybe he didn't contact you over the break bc he figured you were busy with law school or weren't interested either? I've dated guys like that and they never know to say the right things. But when I continue talking to them, they slowly open up. I think it's just his nature to act aloof, indifferent, playing it cool, etc. I'd say reply to him and update him on law school and stuff. Maybe he'll suggest hanging out? Edit/ Just went back and read all your in-between updates. Yeah, either ignore him or just acknowledge his text but don't invite a reply. "Decided law school wasn't for me and about to do some traveling." Edited February 1, 2015 by PinkCarnations
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 TBH I don't know why you would put so much emphasis on this guy that acted like a boy and not a man. Here's a tip: invest only in someone that treats you that way YOU expect to be treated. If you are confused by their actions you should only do one of two things A, confront them and be totally straight with them about how you feel or B, get the f out of there, stop wasting your time wondering why and asking strangers to figure it out for you. I think your passiveness it getting the worst in you in your personal life and your professional life. It's good that you are taking a break to reassess things, but don't run away from your issues. Clear your head but get back right at it. Last thing, please delete this guy from your life completely, ie: cel number emails etc. He is of no worth to you. You need to get your self confidence and self worth back where it should be, and leaving this guy in the dust is a good starting point. Best of luck. 1
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 I think your passiveness it getting the worst in you in your personal life and your professional life . Law school was not what I should have been doing with my life, and my leave of absence is likely (or at least hopefully) going to be permanent. It was not a good fit with my undergrad or my interests, and I'm glad to have discovered that after one semester instead of 6. To the contrary, this is probably the most active choice I have ever made in my life, the passive option would have been to remain in, and stay on a trajectory to a future that I wasn't liking the look of. If only my discovery with men could be so easy. But definitely time to move on.
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Ya it is interesting that you are quick to discover law school isn't your thing and ditched it promptly, but you hang onto the hope something would have come with this unreliable, flaky guy. Maybe you need to do a little soul searching on what is truly important to you, and how is works into your future goals and priorities.
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 Ya it is interesting that you are quick to discover law school isn't your thing and ditched it promptly, but you hang onto the hope something would have come with this unreliable, flaky guy. Maybe you need to do a little soul searching on what is truly important to you, and how is works into your future goals and priorities. Item #1: Nothing will ever happen with this guy--I'm bitter, but not holding onto hope of that. I wrote a conclusion to the saga. I'm moving, so it really doesn't matter if he ever became interested or not. Dude had his shot.
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 This dude had his shot??? You gave him months of shots. I'm not sure why you are still emotional over this guy. He snuggled once with you.....it's hardly any just cause to have been so invested in someone. Being bitter about it is letting him win, and he doesn't deserve to. Let this roll off you back. He shouldn't even be in your thoughts at all. It was done and over a long time ago. I hope you find new and wonderful things to be happy about in the new place you are moving to....a great fresh start.
PinkCarnations Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) Law school isn't for everyone, and a lot of people use it as a catalyst to what they consider a respectable career when their undergrad majors can't get them a job with a decent salary (ie. liberal arts majors). You might have dodged a bullet. so many of my friends don't have jobs.. the legal field is crap right now.. But i do have to say that first semester is ROUGH because it is serves to weed people out. After your first, law school is a breeze, and i wouldn't dismiss the thought of going back so quickly. i really enjoyed going to law school and the things i learned there. It even secured me a job at a great company and good salary. Good luck to ya. Edited February 2, 2015 by PinkCarnations
WonderKid Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 Nope! Not me. Now if she was a dear good friend and I was not attracted to her in that sort of way then I would've slept on the floor and gave her the bed. But if I am attracted to her, and see her as a potential GF or whatever, I'm not having her come in my room without making a move. I take it as a sign of trying to test me.
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