tikay00 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 NO leave herr be delete her number seriously have some self respect Yeah, but I don't want to sever all ties by ignoring her. Part of me still wants her back. Or be cordial down the line. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Yeah, but I don't want to sever all ties by ignoring her. Part of me still wants her back. Or be cordial down the line. That is up to you but you are only hurting yourself more. Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 That is up to you but you are only hurting yourself more. I want to text her that was a mistake, and Imgoing NC again. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I want to text her that was a mistake, and Imgoing NC again. You are only setting yourself back save your dignity and just dont say anything and then ignore her if she comes back Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) Sent her a text saying was a mistake, and can't contact her anymore. Back to NC, and I'm sticking to it. Day 1 as of 11/3/2014. I swear, next time I get an urge, I'm posting in here. NC for real this time. Edited November 3, 2014 by tikay00 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 tikay you made a mistake man, this will hurt you even more, trust me. Leave it, delete her number if you have to and carry on NC, its the best thing for you. Day 13 of my NC - im feeling very good, very normal and happy, i have had thoughts of my ex, how good she was and is, and beautiful she is and was, thats about it. My days been very good, and iv been pretty happy and confident so far, i think il be getting through day 13 just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 tikay you made a mistake man, this will hurt you even more, trust me. Leave it, delete her number if you have to and carry on NC, its the best thing for you. Day 13 of my NC - im feeling very good, very normal and happy, i have had thoughts of my ex, how good she was and is, and beautiful she is and was, thats about it. My days been very good, and iv been pretty happy and confident so far, i think il be getting through day 13 just fine. I know. Now I'm starting day 1 without hope. I'm moving on with the mentality that we're never going to be again. What helped me before was the hope. I texted her NC Again. I'm on my official journey, and peeking at her social media is what drives you to do stupid stuff. she liked a certain pic on FB, and it made me contact her. no more cyber stalking. and yes, we're not friends on FB. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 tikay you made a mistake man, this will hurt you even more, trust me. Leave it, delete her number if you have to and carry on NC, its the best thing for you. Day 13 of my NC - im feeling very good, very normal and happy, i have had thoughts of my ex, how good she was and is, and beautiful she is and was, thats about it. My days been very good, and iv been pretty happy and confident so far, i think il be getting through day 13 just fine. Glad to hear you are doing better. I was awful this morning and feel fine now. Deleted everything to do with him and hoping he never darkens my doorstep again by text or thought. Im done so done it hurts in the mornings but I am there i think day 4 NC! I think its right what they say about girls when they let go its done Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) Glad to hear you are doing better. I was awful this morning and feel fine now. Deleted everything to do with him and hoping he never darkens my doorstep again by text or thought. Im done so done it hurts in the mornings but I am there i think day 4 NC! I think its right what they say about girls when they let go its done Lol lemonsugar, i hope thats not true for all girls haha! It hurts to delete i know, but its a must, for you to move on forward honestly. Iv had awful mornings so trust me, you just need to get up and get out there. The thoughts will stay around for a while trust me. But 4 days NC you are making awesome progress, you go girl! Day 13 NC Carry on - Wow weird day, iv carried on normal, fine and very confident, trying to get back in the game but finding it harder then i thought LOL Thoughts of my ex are still there, how she is, whats shes doing, i also see qualities and attributes of her in other people, which remind me of her! Argh, but hey im going on forward, i talked about the situation with my uni mate today, it was relief and took our friendship to another level. Socially im feeling stronger, confident. PS the girl i gave my number to yesterday hasnt texted, but i dont feel hurt or pained by it, i think i did it selfishly for an ego boost, obviously that signals im still not ready for another relationship yet. EDIT: For some odd reason, im enjoying the independence. NEWEDIT: With independence comes loneliness, im tired after a long day, but starting to feel the loneliness side of things now. Day 13 theres like 30mins left, seems like it may end on a low... Edited November 3, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Lol lemonsugar, i hope thats not true for all girls haha! It hurts to delete i know, but its a must, for you to move on forward honestly. Iv had awful mornings so trust me, you just need to get up and get out there. The thoughts will stay around for a while trust me. But 4 days NC you are making awesome progress, you go girl! Day 13 NC Carry on - Wow weird day, iv carried on normal, fine and very confident, trying to get back in the game but finding it harder then i thought LOL Thoughts of my ex are still there, how she is, whats shes doing, i also see qualities and attributes of her in other people, which remind me of her! Argh, but hey im going on forward, i talked about the situation with my uni mate today, it was relief and took our friendship to another level. Socially im feeling stronger, confident. PS the girl i gave my number to yesterday hasnt texted, but i dont feel hurt or pained by it, i think i did it selfishly for an ego boost, obviously that signals im still not ready for another relationship yet. EDIT: For some odd reason, im enjoying the independence. NEWEDIT: With independence comes loneliness, im tired after a long day, but starting to feel the loneliness side of things now. Day 13 theres like 30mins left, seems like it may end on a low... Honestly it didnt hurt to delete just felt relief. Honestly some times you have to let them go and someone will come in who is a better match for you. I think it also helped that I was checking out of the relationship earlier. Day 5 doesnt seem too bad! Well done on hitting day 14!!!! Very impressed and jealous 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Honestly it didnt hurt to delete just felt relief. Honestly some times you have to let them go and someone will come in who is a better match for you. I think it also helped that I was checking out of the relationship earlier. Day 5 doesnt seem too bad! Well done on hitting day 14!!!! Very impressed and jealous I had the same relief, just like i had unshackled myself! Yup, sometimes its just whats meant to be i guess, although my relationship was broken up by the family, so i dont know, has she moved on? Probably yes, will i get her back? Most likely not now, in the future maybe. Yup that defo helped, put you in the mindset for things to come! Lol, id never want to be in a day 14 position, but hey, those were the cards i was dealt. Day 14 - update, i was ill in the morning so couldnt be bothered getting out, eventually go out at midday and went to university. From there the day just got better, i keep wanting girls who are older than me, hence getting rejected lol but making new friends and socialising a lot more. To be honest, my ex was hardly in my mind at all throughout the day. THEN, an hour ago she messaged me, my heart jumped, read the message but havent replied, i was on my way home, it put me in a mood initially but im out of that mood. Its kind of put me back into that thought process though, im mulling it through, one of her family members is in hospital and so she used that as a reason to ask me to pray for them, and also say she hopes im coping well, and also that she needs a new job. I dont know, i need to go NC for my own healing, but this person is and was a best friend to me, before and during our relationship, plus the split with her, wasnt her fault. 14 days after my soft ultimatum, she gets in touch, could be breadcrumbs, and after this i just revert back to my normal mode. I dont know right now, wont respond, im going to mull it over abit longer. Thoughts and opinions are welcome... JITB what do you think? Edited November 4, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Just curious, what did she message you, if I may ask? 2 is a significant number is psychology. This is proof. She messaged you exactly at the 2 week mark. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 she said hello, she hopes im good and im coping well, and i shouldnt lie or pretend i am. she then said her family members in hospital it could have serious consequences possibly fatality, and to pray everything goes okay, their having an op. that was the first message. then she quickly followed it up with a message saying she needs to get a fulltime job and to wish her the best if she does/can. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 she said hello, she hopes im good and im coping well, and i shouldnt lie or pretend i am. she then said her family members in hospital it could have serious consequences possibly fatality, and to pray everything goes okay, their having an op. that was the first message. then she quickly followed it up with a message saying she needs to get a fulltime job and to wish her the best if she does/can. Wow. She's still really emotionally attached to you. Dependent, even. Are you going to reply? I guess I'm just the disobedient stepchild here on LS because I actually think it's ok to respond to an ex at times. In your case, when your ex is asking for your prayers for her family member in the hospital...that deserves a reply IMO. But you've rocked it the last 2 weeks and I really am happy for you. You're making wonderful progress! Whatever you decide to do, I know you'll think it over and do what's best for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 how can you tell? she hasnt messaged me for 13 full days? yup i can understand the gravity of the situation and take onboard what youre saying, im going to honestly think it through before i do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Well done on day 14 Today I have really felt like contacting him but havent i left the line of communication open he hasnt responded so i can assume he doesnt care. Its a hard one to know what to do but put yourself first she ended it as they say actions have consquences. Dont set yourself back by messaging her if you think it would id stay away. Then when you feel stronger like you dont care too much you can always say sorry i needed space and time for myself I did pray for them. But put yourself first Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 how can you tell? she hasnt messaged me for 13 full days? yup i can understand the gravity of the situation and take onboard what youre saying, im going to honestly think it through before i do anything. I can tell by what she sent you. She still needs your support. In more ways than one. Just because she didn't contact you for 13/14 days doesn't mean she didn't think about you or didn't want to contact you. She was probably trying her best to respect your wishes but she finally caved and reached out. Worse things have happened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Well done on day 14 Today I have really felt like contacting him but havent i left the line of communication open he hasnt responded so i can assume he doesnt care. Its a hard one to know what to do but put yourself first she ended it as they say actions have consquences. Dont set yourself back by messaging her if you think it would id stay away. Then when you feel stronger like you dont care too much you can always say sorry i needed space and time for myself I did pray for them. But put yourself first Lemonsugar good choice, its damn hard, i remember when i was in your position, by now i would have jumped at the chance of replying to my ex lol but 14 days in, im taking it slower, more considered and with more thought. Dont think youre the only one, keep at it girl youll be fine! Actions do always have consequences and repercussions, its a hard one, i still havent replied or thought of replying, actually had a nap, what hits me is that shes talking to the new marriage prospect and getting to know him etc. really have to be measured in what i do right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) I can tell by what she sent you. She still needs your support. In more ways than one. Just because she didn't contact you for 13/14 days doesn't mean she didn't think about you or didn't want to contact you. She was probably trying her best to respect your wishes but she finally caved and reached out. Worse things have happened. I hope youre right LOL unless shes just literally messaging me only to ask to pray for her family member and thats it and im just overanalysing the whole thing. To be honest, from me knowing her, she probably did miss me and want to contact me. Remember, we had to go apart because of external factors, she carried on and there is the new marriage prospect (new guy) involved now, which is also what hurts, and i doubt shes willing to just drop him and all possible marriage chances with him, on my say so. To be honest, she doesnt look like she was looking for a conversation, she just wanted to say these things and carry on. Edited November 4, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I hope youre right LOL unless shes just literally messaging me only to ask to pray for her family member and thats it and im just overanalysing the whole thing. To be honest, from me knowing her, she probably did miss me and want to contact me. Remember, we had to go apart because of external factors, she carried on and there is the new marriage prospect (new guy) involved now, which is also what hurts, and i doubt shes willing to just drop him and all possible marriage chances with him, on my say so. It's not necessarily a good thing that she still needs your support. She is being a taker. That's not cool. She didn't ask you if you were doing well, she just said she hopes you are. One thing is certain, if she was getting the kind of support she wants from the new guy she wouldn't be contacting you. I'll bet she is keeping you on the line in case things don't work out with her and the new guy. She seems to be keeping you on the back burner as an option. If you do decide to respond, tell her you're doing well and that you hope she is doing well also. Say you'll pray for her and her family and let that be that. You should always respond hours - to at least a day later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) It's not necessarily a good thing that she still needs your support. She is being a taker. That's not cool. She didn't ask you if you were doing well, she just said she hopes you are. One thing is certain, if she was getting the kind of support she wants from the new guy she wouldn't be contacting you. I'll bet she is keeping you on the line in case things don't work out with her and the new guy. She seems to be keeping you on the back burner as an option. If you do decide to respond, tell her you're doing well and that you hope she is doing well also. Say you'll pray for her and her family and let that be that. You should always respond hours - to at least a day later. Mate, to be honest, you have literally summed up what the situation is, she expects me to be doing well and moving forward, thats why she hopes. Secondly, the rest of your post is right, she did say weeks ago, that she doesnt know what the future holds, and that she wants to still be friends, i told her commit to me and we figure a way of dealing with her family or stop, then she stopped for 14 days, now i get this. Thanks for the advice on what to say, clearly interaction with this girl still isnt good for me. Edited November 4, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Haha Not a mate (; Well, Seeker, just keep your head up and keep moving forward. Sooner or later you will reach the point of indifference about your ex. You'll start to realize that when a person loves another person, they do not discard them. No matter what. People and their situations are different but love is love. If it's real (not one sided) then it will prevail. Maybe she thought she loved you, maybe she really did but obviously she doesn't love you enough. )= "To have a broken heart is a good thing. It means we have tried for something." Always remember that. You did all you could. Now it's time to step away. Best wishes, J Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Haha Not a mate (; Well, Seeker, just keep your head up and keep moving forward. Sooner or later you will reach the point of indifference about your ex. You'll start to realize that when a person loves another person, they do not discard them. No matter what. People and their situations are different but love is love. If it's real (not one sided) then it will prevail. Maybe she thought she loved you, maybe she really did but obviously she doesn't love you enough. )= "To have a broken heart is a good thing. It means we have tried for something." Always remember that. You did all you could. Now it's time to step away. Best wishes, J My apologies, madam. ;-) Yup, il post my final update of Day 14 soon, as you said, im going to keep my head up and move on with my life and not let this affect me. Yup i understand love is love, sometimes love can be complicated though lol. Perhaps thats the situation now, it was either this mutual break up, or we go through serious issues with her family. Hey as you said, situations are different, i believe in fate, so if we are meant to be, then no shadow of a doubt will we be. Yup, it is time to move on, carry on through and see whats ahead of me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Day 14 Final update- Yes this is still day 14, and not back to day 1 of my NC. There are times and situations where NC has to adapt to the relationship/friendship and circumstances. This i feel is one of them, i had a pretty good and happy day, and then my ex got in touch with me, which slightly rocked the boat, about a few things. Not long ago i replied, iv deleted the message, but this is close to what i said: Im doing fine and well, i hope you are too. Its unfortunate to hear about your family member, i pray everything goes fine, i also need a job too, but im coping well. Thanks. Thats it, thats the end of my day 14, my thoughts and feelings right now? Whether she replies? Im not too fussed, still feel neutral, calm, not obsessive. Do i think she will message me again? I dont know, am i fussed? Again, no im not. Maybe things are still sinking in or something, il update if theres any difference. Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Did u see my post on the other thread dude? Wish you had waited a few days before that text but well done for being non commital. L Link to post Share on other sites
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