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I Just Have To Get This Off My Chest


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Why are you ashamed of your sexuality?

 

This is what all of your issues boil down to. You're unwilling to be sexually assertive and are jealous of those who are, to the point where in order to preserve your ego, you belittle them and aggrandize yourself.

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Badsingularity

left knowing it's too late in life for me to even begin to know what love might be like

 

 

Not true. I used to think like you and be in your situation at around the same age.

 

I am now happily married to a beautiful woman and have been able to attract women easily for a long time.

 

If you feel like knowing how it happened sift through my old posts.

You will find plenty in there explaining my past situation, how I changed it, and how other guys can change theres.

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Your story touched me, maybe because I had the very same feelings and thoughts some time ago (and no matter that I am a woman, loneliness doesn’t know gender).

 

 

From everything I’ve read here, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some unattractive signs you unintentionally send when communicating with a girl (and you don’t even realize it), but I cannot say which, because I have never seen you, the way you think, walk, behave, express yourself, eat, dress, sit, etc. Anything you do is accompanied by your body language, which along with verbal communication, contribute to your appearance and what impression you make on people. Sometimes body language can even be more expressive, and you think: “I haven’t said anything wrong”, but what was in your eyes? where were your hands? what expression you had on your face? what position your body was at? all of it turns out to be a totally different story.

 

 

As an example, I used to speak very quietly. Once I have observed a scene, when a guy was answering a question very quietly, and the girl who asked the question had to ask to repeat his words several times, and she was leaning towards him, because he was mumbling something unrecognizable, and she could not understand him, and it all looked very stupid for a side viewer (just the way he usually spoke, no affection with a girl). At that moment I realized that I, too, looked like an idiot when I spoke quietly, and people couldn’t hear what I was saying, and get annoyed sometimes, and I felt awkward and embarrassed. So now whenever I’m on the phone, talking to people at work, in shop, bank, or elsewhere, I always speak louder than I usually would. My point is that even though you do something wrong or unattractive, you have the power to control it, and it is not something beyond human abilities.

 

 

No way am I going to do any guesses/assumptions on what you are doing wrong, because as I said, I don’t know you well enough. My further suggestion might seem unusual, but may I recommend you to have a look at “Art of Seduction” by R. Greene (especially anti-seducer section). It is not “how to seduce a chick and get her into your bed” guide, it’s about what is attractive/unattractive, what turns people on and off, and it might explain you some things much better than anybody else, and maybe you will learn something about and for yourself.

 

 

I wish you the very best.

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