How do you deal with Facebook in an LDR?

[lamaga]

Oh honey. I'm not saying this to be heartless, but based on all the symptoms that your boyfriend is portraying, he is definitely cheating. Maybe with one girl, maybe two, maybe five of them, but he's definitely cheating. If not, he's definitely planning to. I honestly hope you put on your big girl panties and have a serious talk with him on what's going on. If he's putting on airs, giving you dumb excuses, or shuts down like a child, you have your answer. He's too young and too immature to have a relationship right now.

 

He might be a nice guy. Maybe. But he doesn't respect you and I can safely say he doesn't love you either. He's got you in a chokehold while he's out trying new ice cream flavors in a new foreign town, and I hope you take what's left of your heart and walk away from him, because he clearly doesn't deserve you.

 

 

 

Oh my god, these assumptions are worse than the ones I make. You really think he is cheating on me?

We talked yesterday for two hours and I felt a bit better afterwards, since he, for the first time,told me some of his fears (usually it is only me doing that, and he seemed sort of 'fearless', or 'sure of me'). I felt really good after the phone call and today we skyped as well for an hour, and now I come here and read all this and it throws me back into my downward spiral.

 

As of right now I just can't imagine him cheating on me. He lives in an all-boys dorm, and they have really strict rules there (girls not allowed in boys dorm and the other way around). He says that when he goes out with his two friends, of which one is single, and that guy ends up making out with a girl or leaving with a girl, he goes home an calls me (true, he calls almost every night), because he wants to 'go home with me' and it makes him realise how much he misses me, also physically. We do send each other sexy photos or have Skype sex (i really dislike it, makes me miss him so much more), at least once a week. He says it's difficult, because he misses my body and being close to me, but he also knows that I am truthful to him and he is truthful to me. He says he talks about me every day, because me misses me so much. He's proud of me and being with me, he says. I am trying to take all of this as positive things.

 

When I asked him why he changed his friend list privacy right after I asked him about some of the girls he has added, he said that it made him realise how much people can see on his Facebook, and he changed a lot of privacy settings (he took down a lot of photos, deleted stuff from his timeline, etc). We both study diplomacy at university and he is planning to go into politics, and he generally doesn't like his stuff to be all over the internet. I occasionally post things on instagram, for example, photos of us, but he always tells me he doesn't like it, so I put my account on private, and he's ok with that now, since only close people can see them, but still, he's sort of unhappy when people post his photo without his consent (not just me). He's very selective with which photos he puts on facebook. There are so many party photos he's being tagged in, but he never approves them, only photos where he looks 'sophisticated', let's say, such as him traveling, or at a government event. There are few private photos, and most of them are of us two. When we do stuff together he takes photos of me, of us, but he'd never put them on the internet, it's just me linking him in photos. I mean, to you it may sound like I am making excuses for him, but he's said yesterday when we talked, "Lamaga, I've never been like this. I didn't have my relationship status up before I went to Asia either. I've always been private about things, you know that. Why would I change that now? It wouldn't be me. You asked me to do it, I did it, I realised it's not me, it's not who I am, so I put it down again. Facebook knows enough about me as there is". I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, I can question his motives all I want, in the end, that's his standpoint.

 

You say he doesn't love me. How can you say this without having been there in our relationship in the past 11 months?

 

The moment I asked him if he wanted to break up for the time he is gone he didn't hesitate one moment, he said he wanted to be with me, and try if it works. We are trying. It is difficult. But he said again today that I am who he wants, and he'd never jeopardise what we have for getting a quick hook up over there.

 

He's also started to tell me about the women he's met over there, and who he's been hanging out with, which is to my liking, since this is the kind of transparency I have been waiting for.

 

Based on how things are between us as of right now I am positive.

It's your posts that make me doubt again.

 

 

Lamaga, why don't you try writing something on his facebook wall so that everyone of his new friends there can see, something along the lines of 'so how is my boyfriend doing ??' - or anything, which makes it clear that he's taken - and observe his reaction...?

 

I've never done this before. I am not an active Facebook user and I don't write on people's walls. This would be complete out of the ordinary behaviour from my side. He occasionally posts funny/cute things on my wall, but I've never done it. "So how's my boyfriend doing?" oh god. That's so not me. I can't think of anything that I would write on there. We talk every day on Skype or the phone or whatsapp, writing on his wall is just not something I'd do.

 

 

 

I'm a tad confused about the whole changing the status for one day then changing it back and him claiming the reasons being he doesn't want to share to everyone? Facebook saves that kind of info on your profile or timeline or what have you doesn't it? So everyone saw he did it twice!? (Other than the people in his new city, who believes he's single)

And if that's true that everyone has seen it, did everyone ask "what happened to you and Lamaga?" I'm willing to bet they didn't. But wasn't that his main reasons for not keeping the status?

 

You're confused because it's a bullsh*t excuse. Changing it twice in one week (if I understand the chronology correctly) has zero to do with privacy and a random ex. OP said herself that he hid this status from the people in his new city. That's not an accident. He is happy to present a single image to the people near him, which is extremely dubious. In his personal, "back home" world he is taken. In his new, foreign world, he's a single man. It's a pity because I think OP is a sweet woman with a big heart.

 

The first time he made the profile status visible to only people in our town. The second time it was visible for everyone. He took it down again after a few hours (and he explained yesterday why, I wrote that above).

 

Why would anyone ask "what happened to you and lamaga?" - he never had the status up anyway? and you'd only see it if you would go to his profile that day, i doubt there are many people checking his profile every day, i only saw it cause i happened to go to his profile, which, unfortunately, i do a lot, to see what he's been up to (not much happening there at the moment). a mutual friend of ours saw it, but she knows how things are between us and didn't put much emphasis on it, saying "yeah, well, that's just him trying to please you, don't read too much into him taking it down again, he's being himself, be happy he's not pretending to be something he's not. stop reading into things.."…

[veggirl]

When I asked him why he changed his friend list privacy right after I asked him about some of the girls he has added, he said that it made him realise how much people can see on his Facebook, and he changed a lot of privacy settings (he took down a lot of photos, deleted stuff from his timeline, etc).

 

Wait didn't he only make it so you can't see his friends in his NEW CITY though?

 

So how the heck does this "explanation" explain that?

 

If your bf is so terrified of what people can see on FB he wouldn't be adding people he's known for such a short time.

 

He actually probably wouldn't even HAVE a FB. But if he did, it'd be close friends/family only. He's BSing you.

 

He wants his new friends to think he is single.

[lamaga]

Wait didn't he only make it so you can't see his friends in his NEW CITY though?

 

So how the heck does this "explanation" explain that?

 

If your bf is so terrified of what people can see on FB he wouldn't be adding people he's known for such a short time.

 

He actually probably wouldn't even HAVE a FB. But if he did, it'd be close friends/family only. He's BSing you.

 

He wants his new friends to think he is single.

 

 

No, every friend of his is only able to see their mutual friends.

Besides that, he has told me about his new friends in his new city after I asked for more transparency.

 

He has deleted his Facebook in the past and brought it back, since a lot of student activity is being dealt with over Facebook.

I am the same. I would like to delete it, since it's a major procrastination tool, but a lot of issues in our university course are dealt with over there, plus there are a lot of useful groups we are both members in, he for example is in groups such as "Hiking in and around BLAH (city he now lives in)", "Events in BLAH , "Events Student Association BLAH university", "Sports events in BLAH", etc., of course Facebook is a good way to connect in a new place, everyone is using it,it is very helpful, neither of us is using it for anything else than to stay on top of whats going on around us. But some people live their lives on Facebook, post a thousand photos each week, update people about everything they do etc - I don't even remember the last time I wrote a status update, must have been months ago, and it was when i was looking for someone to take care of my cat over the summer. And last time he posted something was when he was selling his things before he moved away.

 

I don't think he is bull****ting me, to be honest. You haven't met him, you think he's not genuine with me and cheating on me based on his Facebook activity I have told you about.

Edited October 5, 2014 by lamaga

[intricate]

Oh my god, these assumptions are worse than the ones I make. You really think he is cheating on me?

 

Um. Yes?

 

We talked yesterday for two hours and I felt a bit better afterwards, since he, for the first time,told me some of his fears (usually it is only me doing that, and he seemed sort of 'fearless', or 'sure of me'). I felt really good after the phone call and today we skyped as well for an hour, and now I come here and read all this and it throws me back into my downward spiral.

 

So then, why did you created this thread in the first place? Clearly his actions bothered you so much on a personal level that you felt the need to vent to strangers about it. We told you the raw truth, and you can't take it.

 

As of right now I just can't imagine him cheating on me. He lives in an all-boys dorm, and they have really strict rules there (girls not allowed in boys dorm and the other way around). He says that when he goes out with his two friends, of which one is single, and that guy ends up making out with a girl or leaving with a girl, he goes home an calls me (true, he calls almost every night), because he wants to 'go home with me' and it makes him realise how much he misses me, also physically. We do send each other sexy photos or have Skype sex (i really dislike it, makes me miss him so much more), at least once a week. He says it's difficult, because he misses my body and being close to me, but he also knows that I am truthful to him and he is truthful to me. He says he talks about me every day, because me misses me so much. He's proud of me and being with me, he says. I am trying to take all of this as positive things.

 

Wow, that's sweet and all, but cheaters can be sweet to their partner too while they're out prowling for new people. Just saying.

 

When I asked him why he changed his friend list privacy right after I asked him about some of the girls he has added, he said that it made him realise how much people can see on his Facebook, and he changed a lot of privacy settings (he took down a lot of photos, deleted stuff from his timeline, etc).

 

Oh no! Facebook, being PUBLIC? Facebook, the website where everybody posts their personal photos, information, and what's going on their lives, is too much to bare for him??

 

He should just delete it if it really makes him so edgy.

 

We both study diplomacy at university and he is planning to go into politics, and he generally doesn't like his stuff to be all over the internet. I occasionally post things on instagram, for example, photos of us, but he always tells me he doesn't like it, so I put my account on private, and he's ok with that now, since only close people can see them,

 

Of course he doesn't want photos of you and him together being aired out in public- his new girlfriends wouldn't like it. 'Close people', you mean people from his and your hometown, who already know that you two are supposedly together, right? So then, why can't the new people in his new life know that you have a relationship with him?

 

Come on, girl, connect the dots!

 

but still, he's sort of unhappy when people post his photo without his consent (not just me). He's very selective with which photos he puts on facebook. There are so many party photos he's being tagged in, but he never approves them, only photos where he looks 'sophisticated', let's say, such as him traveling, or at a government event. There are few private photos, and most of them are of us two. When we do stuff together he takes photos of me, of us, but he'd never put them on the internet, it's just me linking him in photos. I mean, to you it may sound like I am making excuses for him,

 

That's because you ARE making excuses for him. You do realize that there are websites such as LinkedIn where he can take all the professional, sophisticated pictures he want of himself, and then use Facebook for all of this other personal photos and make everything private, right? It's weird that he picks and chooses which people can see which kinds of information, namely about his relationship status. I honestly doubt a future employer is going to be offended over the fact that he has a girlfriend back home.

 

but he's said yesterday when we talked, "Lamaga, I've never been like this. I didn't have my relationship status up before I went to Asia either. I've always been private about things, you know that. Why would I change that now? It wouldn't be me. You asked me to do it, I did it, I realised it's not me, it's not who I am, so I put it down again. Facebook knows enough about me as there is".

 

"It wouldn't be me. How can I still cheat on you and be a womanizer when posting things about our relationship on Facebook will show even the new people I've met that I am supposed to be a one-woman man? IT JUST WOULDN'T BE ME OMG!"

 

I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, I can question his motives all I want, in the end, that's his standpoint.

 

You say he doesn't love me. How can you say this without having been there in our relationship in the past 11 months?

 

There are people out there who beat the living crap out of their partners, and in between their violent episodes, they do have the ability to love their victims. And victims, in return, still love them to bits. That doesn't meant their love is healthy.

 

The moment I asked him if he wanted to break up for the time he is gone he didn't hesitate one moment, he said he wanted to be with me, and try if it works. We are trying. It is difficult. But he said again today that I am who he wants, and he'd never jeopardise what we have for getting a quick hook up over there.

 

Some people are like that. They want the relationship AND the single life at the same time. That's what he wants- sow his wild oats and then come back to the stable relationship when all has been done and said.

 

Oh man, do me a favor, DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM WHEN HE COMES BACK. Get his butt tested, please!

 

He's also started to tell me about the women he's met over there, and who he's been hanging out with, which is to my liking, since this is the kind of transparency I have been waiting for.

 

Based on how things are between us as of right now I am positive.

It's your posts that make me doubt again.

 

Our posts are making you doubt again? That's because we are looking at this from an objective standpoint, being strangers and all, while you're looking at this through rosy lenses. Take the spectacles out and you will see the truth for what it is. A man who loves his woman, wants to show her off to everyone he meets, whether through sharing photos, stories, to even inviting her to social events so that he can introduce her to the people in his life. If he ain't doing that, point blank: He's not into you and doesn't care about you.

 

He wants to stay with you because you let him get away with murder. He also likes it that someone worships the ground he walks on; it soothes his fragile ego. You are seriously better than that, all partners have flaws, but if those flaws keep hurting you and there's no way of the situation ever getting mended, it's time to walk. I'm telling you, you are only going to get hurt.

[ExpatInItaly]

So, if I'm reading this right, he doesn't like it when you post pictures on IG of you two together so you made those posts private. Yet he has another picture of him with a different girl in his new town on his FB?

 

Come on, girl. I would not be happy being made to feel like the secret girlfriend back home. In private he's all good and loving, but the moment someone might know that he is in a relationship, it's a problem for him. Red flags are waving.

 

I wouldn't normally advise stirring the pot, but if I were you I might just post a photo of you two and tag him; see how he reacts. Something tells me you won't do that though, because you know his reaction will probably hurt you.

Edited October 5, 2014 by ExpatInItaly

[blugirl]

Exactly Lamaga, do that! Either write on his timeline in such a way everyone can see you're his gf or do what ExpatinItaly mentioned. It seriously doesnt matter if you have never ever done it before. If you have no idea what to write, just copy my sentence or modify it a bit. If you dont do it, it means you're afraid of his reaction, which in turn means you know somewhere deep down that things are not OK but you're afraid to confront your worst fears.

 

Girl, you need to protect yourself. You cannot leave it like this and blindly believe everything he says. I believe you're an intelligent person, who is able to stand back, look at the bigger picture and estimate, what is really going on. Not unless you're like one of those women, who choose not to see what is really happening, they prefer to pretend they dont see anything in order to maintain the relationship. In such case, we wont be able to help you.

[lamaga]

So, if I'm reading this right, he doesn't like it when you post pictures on IG of you two together so you made those posts private. Yet he has another picture of him with a different girl in his new town on his FB?

 

Come on, girl. I would not be happy being made to feel like the secret girlfriend back home. In private he's all good and loving, but the moment someone might know that he is in a relationship, it's a problem for him. Red flags are waving.

 

I wouldn't normally advise stirring the pot, but if I were you I might just post a photo of you two and tag him; see how he reacts. Something tells me you won't do that though, because you know his reaction will probably hurt you.

 

 

No, you are getting it all wrong.

I have an instagram. it is the only site where I post a lot of daily updates, private photos, etc. He's ok with me posting pictures on there. He just doesn't like some pictures of him because of the way he looks, for example, but he doesn't tell me not to post them or whatever. He just goes "nah, i don't like that one". And his comment about privacy was "everyone can see that?" and I said "no, only my followers" and he asked "how many followers do you have?" and I said "900…" and he said "oh lamaga…".

 

And sometimes when I upload photos of us, which is not often, because I post photos on Facebook once in a blue moon, but when I do, I always tag him and he always accept the tag, and those photos are shown on his Facebook. there is only one photo he deleted, the reason for it being we were on a conference and his name tag is showing on the photo and it says his second last name, with which he doesn't like to be associated.

WHy would I post a photo of us now? I don't have any new photos of us. SO should I post an old photo?

Edited October 5, 2014 by lamaga

[lamaga]

There are a lot of photos of us on Facebook. Here just a few (I blacked out the faces of other people and blacked out our eyes):

 

Lamaga & BF

Lamaga & BF

Lamaga & BF

Lamaga & BF & Friends

Lamaga & BF & Friends

 

And this is him with the girl in Asia: This

There are more photos from the same day with other people, they were in a group.

 

So it's not like he posts a thousand photos with other girls, there is one photo, he was tagged in it (he didn't post it) and it's one out of many people he met - there are many other photos with other people, mainly guys, or bigger groups.

Edited October 5, 2014 by lamaga

[cactusgal]

Hi Op,

 

Yes, maybe post an old photo of the two of you on his timeline with just a simple message like "I miss you!"

 

I understand the frustration of your situation bc I had something kind of similar with an ex. It was one of the reasons why I finally dumped him, but the relationship was on its last legs anyway, so Facebook wasn't the only reason.

 

Also, is there any possibility of you going out there to visit him while he's away?

 

Take care x

[lamaga]

Hi Op,

 

Yes, maybe post an old photo of the two of you on his timeline with just a simple message like "I miss you!"

 

I understand the frustration of your situation bc I had something kind of similar with an ex. It was one of the reasons why I finally dumped him, but the relationship was on its last legs anyway, so Facebook wasn't the only reason.

 

Also, is there any possibility of you going out there to visit him while he's away?

 

Take care x

 

I can not visit, I can not afford it, unfortunately, and neither can he. It's really ****ing expensive to go. I can barely pay my rent each month. My studies are extremely demanding (I am doing two at the same time). Boyfriend and me both are overachievers, right now he is over there in Asia taking more courses than he needs to, he's studying 24/7 and I am way behind school work… It is so frustrating.. I don't have time for a day job. I babysit a few nights a week for some rich families but it is barely enough for my most necessary expenses. He was only able to go to Asia because he worked every single day all summer long. Although he is a tiny bit more privileged than I am (and that's an overstatement), he is very independent from his family and always has made his own money.

I would ask my parents, but they don't have money either, and I am not someone to beg for money.

 

Besides, I wouldn't know when to go. The only time I could go would be Christmas, but I NEED to spend that with my family… And for a weekend it's not worth it, because the flight is already 20 hours.

I really wish I could go for Christmas though…

[lamaga]

Exactly Lamaga, do that! Either write on his timeline in such a way everyone can see you're his gf or do what ExpatinItaly mentioned. It seriously doesnt matter if you have never ever done it before. If you have no idea what to write, just copy my sentence or modify it a bit. If you dont do it, it means you're afraid of his reaction, which in turn means you know somewhere deep down that things are not OK but you're afraid to confront your worst fears.

 

Girl, you need to protect yourself. You cannot leave it like this and blindly believe everything he says. I believe you're an intelligent person, who is able to stand back, look at the bigger picture and estimate, what is really going on. Not unless you're like one of those women, who choose not to see what is really happening, they prefer to pretend they dont see anything in order to maintain the relationship. In such case, we wont be able to help you.

 

I don't blindly believe everything he says. In fact, I question everything he says, and it's tiring. Because, what if I am making a fuzz about nothing? All my friends say that I am overreacting, that he is not the kind of guy who cheats, he's never cheated on anyone, not even his ex-girlfriend, who betrayed him in many ways (he eventually left her - she hooked up with his best friend). Until recently I had the password to his Facebook - I checked a few times if there are any weird messages - nothing. The whole 9 months we were together, nothing (he didn't know I had the password). When he went abroad, I logged in a few times with a wrong password so it would notify him and he'd change it - i didn't want to have that power for the 5 months he'd be gone, just because I know i'd check every single day. And because after we'd been together for 9 months and he had been faithful to me, I wanted to trust him.

 

We talked yesterday and he said that he also has these fears that I would cheat on him. He's still upset about this guy I met over the summer (nothing happened, we just hung out in public places, with other people), but he thinks I am still meeting with him (which is not true, he moved away as well). He doesn't believe me but he says deeply inside he hopes, or knows, that I wouldn't hurt him. He often asks if I love him, if I will wait for him… We often talk about how it will be like when he is back. We told each other that if either of us cheats, we'd tell the other person.

But we also both know that it would be over if the other person cheats.

I don't think he could keep it from me - he's got a conscience, you guys!

I've had him confess things to me he's done (nothing to do with cheating), and it was not easy for him.

Everyone I know who also knows him tell me that they'd never seen him as happy as with me. Even his mother told me so. And that I can be sure that he'd be true to me, for he knows what he has to lose if he screws up. He's been raised with great values in a catholic Italian family and he has often shown me how he stands by his values (I remember the incident where my roommate cheated on her boyfriend, everyone knew except her boyfriend, and my guy felt the need to tell him, because he thought it was so unfair...

 

I often spiral over insignificant negative things, when I forget the good things. It's not just like that in my relationship, also generally in life. My best friend told me yesterday that my jealousy is grotesque and I have nothing to worry about. And that the Facebook world is not the real world, that my boyfriend loves me and is true to me and I should sit back and relax until he's proven wrong. But until then, any assumption based on a Facebook friend list is ridiculous.

 

Should I sit back and relax? Or keep nagging at the Facebook thing to him until he 'finally tells the truth'?

Tell me how to do it?

Because I don't know anymore. I don't know what to say to him for him to tell me "why" he changed the friendlist privacy, or why he agreed to put up the relationship status only to take it down again two days later?

[ExpatInItaly]

Ask him directly:

 

"I noticed that you changed your relationship status, and I felt so happy when I saw that. When you changed it again a couple days later, I was confused. Can you help me understand why you did that?" If he claims it's privacy, ask him why he changed it in the first place. I'm sorry, but I still think the privacy excuse is a load of bull.

 

As for hiding his friend list, didn't you already ask him about that? If I recall correctly, he already told you something about not wanting you to get upset about him adding other girls and you essentially accepted that. And also stated it was actually good for you. If so, I don't understand why you'd ask him again.

 

I don't necessarily think he's cheating. But I don't believe he's being completely honest with you, either. He's definitely keeping his two worlds separate, which would not be alright with me. I don't think someone needs to reveal all on FB, but I would be very skeptical of someone who appeared to be actively keeping me at bay, which it seems he is doing to you.

 

 

A side note: Anyone has the capability to cheat - someone's family background, opinions of friends and relationship history do not exempt anyone from being unfaithful. (As I recall, he also shut you out and refused to speak to you when your friend cheated) A quick spin on the Infidelity board would confirm this, though I don't recommend you visit that forum. I think that to this day, nobody knows that I myself was unfaithful to an ex many years ago. I regret my behaviour and have learned from it, but I am fairly certain none of my family or friends or even my ex would suspect I had stepped out. I am not trying to make you feel bad; I am only talking about my own experience to highlight the fact that even the people you wouldn't expect it from are capable of bad behaviour.

[blugirl]

Lamaga, dont say you dont know, what to do. Three people, me included, have already told you to write on his fb wall in such a way, that everyone can see you're his gf. I dont know what you're waiting for. You seem to be either super-insecure or afraid cause in your eyes it seems to be some kinda bold move...?

who cares if you have never done something like this before? Are you afraid he's going to suspect you did it on purpose and will start to question your trust in him?

 

I agree with what ExpatInItaly said, you would never guess, who has ever cheated on someone. Heck, sometimes it's like, those people themselves would never ever think they could do something like this....until it happens. That's life. All I'm saying is, you have started this thread because of a reason.

[clia]

I totally agree and he said the same thing to me.

What bothered me about it was that he changed it to "in a relationship" twice last week, left it up only for a day each time, and also put the settings so everyone can see it except for people in the city that he is being abroad in now.

...

 

I don't care about Facebook relationship statuses at all, but this would really bother me. He is intentionally hiding that he is in a relationship with you.

[umirano]

FB is to a RS what five barrels of fuel are to a garage with 10 expensive oldtimer cars.

 

If you take all the precautions and if everybody involved uses his common sense it can be done. But have one idiot not sealing the lid on one of those barrels and another idiot throwing away cigarette butts and you'll ruin yourself.

 

In my most recent LDR this happened:

 

GF goes amiss after the most innocent convo you could imagine (she informed me she'd be at a friends party). I don't hear from her for 48 hours straight (our communication patterns were such that we'd text around noon and usually in the evening if we were both home, and I tried to maintain the tradition that we'd inform each other if we were unavailable.

 

Anyway, she disappears and the next heart beat I can get my hands on is that she changes her profile pic to her and a dude kind of hugging. As I struggled through a lot of similar issues with her previous to that I just snapped and declared her death to me. She's been effing with my mind a lot and always promised to change and pretended to agree that her behavior was sketchy and needed to become less confusing and upsetting. It never really happened.

 

We got back together after that (and broke up a few more times) but the RS never really recovered. She was wailing and pleading with me to take her back and I did. She swore on everything that meant something to her that she didn't mean for the FB thing to mean anything. I have no idea what was on her mind. She must have known I check her profile from time to time (bc we actually used FB to chat quite often, and I was a heavy PC/Laptop user at the time). So I suppose some intention was to it but it probably got out of hand, I have no clue like I said.

 

FB is whatever for mature people. They'll know what's appropriate and "cool" to do there. They'll respect the philosophy on FB of their partners and the RS state. And immature brats (of both gender) will not.

Edited October 6, 2014 by umirano

[chados]

I feel like you're overthinking this a little actually. Maybe he doesn't want to have his photos and facts about his life on Facebook and Instagram. I don't blame him. I just think you're trying to force things upon him cause of insecureness when he's that far away. I understand the frustration, been there too.

[chados]

and people are saying to type something on his facebook. you can do it cause you want to feel better/get a reaction or just simply because you want to be sweet.

 

here's the thing though. if you do it just to make yourself feel secure with him i dont think its a good idea. he could easily see its out of jealousness and its not gonna stop him from doing anything if he really wants to. this of course if you dont normally do it. either you trust him or not. but dont force him to show that you can trust him