Housing issues with ex wife of former MM

[AmyBamy]

I'm guessing you don't have any kids of your own Amy. As a mother myself I really can't believe that any mother would deliberately choose a behavior that would cost her the love of her children. No mom wants to be turned away by her own children. This woman is mentally ill and it is sad that she is not getting the help she needs. Mental illnesses are varied and all have different symptoms. One doesn't have to be talking to the voices in their head or slashing their wrists in order to be mentally ill. The BW in your situation is losing her kids, her family, her life has fallen apart and you think she chooses that?

 

I do have children of my own, but choose not to discuss them here. There are parents that deliberately hurt their own children, watch the news on any given day.

 

I do believe that she chooses it. I do not believe she is "sick", I think she's just not a very good person. She is very selfish and self-centered and that applies to her relationship with her children as well as everyone else in her life. She makes conscious choices to behave the way that she does even though she is aware that there will be consequences then acts as if she is not at fault.

 

I think far too many people, here included, give others leeway to behave badly simply because of how they feel. If everyone did that we would have a chaotic world as laws would not apply because someone was hurt, or upset, or angry, or frustrated. That's just not acceptable.

 

She's not mentally ill, she's just selfish and self centered and hell bent on trying to force things to get her way.

[AmyBamy]

I am extremely jealous of the drama free life you have going on. Things get a little better every day but my guys ex still does some messed up stuff to try and hurt us/him. I definitely keep my distance and would do whatever it took to not have a run in with her. Hopefully someday soon she will heal and move on too.

 

I agree. Our lives would be pretty low key if she would just calm herself down. He and I are discussing the possibility of moving. She is pretty financially unstable and probably couldn't afford to follow us or continue to show up. We are to the point where we are becoming willing to let her "have" this area, the house (which she can't afford to keep financially anyway, but that's not our issue) and he and I and the children just relocating. We are currently pricing houses in another state and talking to builders. We ran the idea by the kids and they all seemed to be excited about where we are considering moving to.

 

He just has to talk to the courts and see what that involves since she does have court ordered allowance to have supervised interaction with the kids, but since they aren't interested in that and are old enough to choose, hopefully it is something we can do. It would be a new start for all of us. Something his children sorely need and something he and I could probably use it too. I guess if she can't get control of herself, we can make it so at least it doesn't affect us.